Worldwide Leadership Training Meetings

- January 2003 (First Meeting)

- June 2003 (Second Meeting)

- January 2004 (Third Meeting [The Auxiliaries: RS/YW/PR])

- June 2004: The Bishopric and the Aaronic Priesthood

- February 2006: Supporting the Family

- February 2007: Teaching and Learning

- February 2008: Building Up a Righteous Posterity

January 11, 2003
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting

- President Boyd K Packer: Restoration

- Elder Neal A Maxwell: Revelation

- Elder L. Tom Perry: Basic Unit Program

- Elder Henry B. Eyring: Standards of Worthiness

- Elder M. Russell Ballard: Family and Temple

- President Gordon B. Hinckley: Missionary Service

[p.1]
President Boyd K. Packer
Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Restoration

I have been assigned to speak to you in this meeting on some of the fundamental principles of the Restoration.

“[One] Sunday night [in 18341 the Prophet Joseph Smith] called on all who held the Priesthood to gather into the little log school house [in Kirtland, Ohio].… It was a small house, perhaps 14 feet square. But it held the whole of the Priesthood of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who were then in the town of Kirtland, and who had gathered together to go off in Zion’s camp…
“The Prophet called upon the Elders of Israel with him to bear testimony of this work.… When they got through, the Prophet said: ‘Brethren I have been very much edified and instructed in your testimonies here tonight, but I want to say to you before the Lord, that you know no more concerning the destinies of this Church and kingdom than a babe upon its mother’s lap. You don’t comprehend it.… It is only a little handfull of Priesthood you see here tonight, but this Church will [grow until it will] fill North and South America—it will fill the world.’ ” (Wilford Woodruff, in Conference Report, Apr. 1898, p. 57)

A Worldwide Gathering

In our mind’s eye, we can see you gathered in chapels in Otavalo, in the Andes Mountains; in Durban, on the coast of Africa; in Malaga, Spain; Salzburg, in Europe; Sydney, Australia; Sendai, Japan; Toronto, Canada; Port Moresby, New Guinea; and more than 5,000 other chapels.

One of you has left the farm to come to this meeting, another a fishing boat. Others of you came from your office or your operating room or your computer or your carpenter shop. We are all gathered in this great meeting in the name of the Lord.

We speak as we do when we meet you in your own buildings, through faithful interpreters. With their help, we will speak in more than 50 languages.

We are just like you. We have been called from among you. President Monson is a printer; I am a schoolteacher; Elder Perry is a bookkeeper; Elder Ballard sold cars.

We, like you, have been called and sustained and ordained to an office in the Melchizedek Priesthood, the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God. We come to you as Apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Although we differ in language and custom and culture and in many ways, when we meet together we strengthen one another, and we become one. The language of the Church is the language of the Spirit.

Each of us is to learn just how to do what we have been called to do. In doing so, we are obeying a commandment given in the very early days of the Church:

“Hearken, O ye elders of my church whom I have called, behold I give unto you a commandment, that ye shall assemble yourselves together to agree upon my word;
“And by the prayer of your faith ye shall receive my law, that ye may know how to govern my church and have all things right before me.” (D&C 41:2-3; italics added)

We want to teach you how to be better leaders and better fathers. We, as the scriptures say, “take the things… given unto thee in my scriptures for a law, to be my law to govern my church” (D&C 42:59). The Lord said that “every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, even the Savior of the world.” (D&C 1:20)

We all are ordinary men with weaknesses, but, “if men come unto me,” the Lord said, “I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)

The Chief Cornerstone

Now, these are very troubled times. In order that you will not drift, you must know the source of your authority and your power. You must measure everything you learn about your ordination and calling against fundamental truths. It is from the scriptures that you learn how to govern His Church.

[p.2] These are fundamental truths that you must teach and reteach to your families and to your members. First, teach that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, established His Church “built upon the foundation of… apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone.” (Ephesians 2:20)

Jesus called and ordained Apostles and gave them the keys of the kingdom. These keys authorized them to bind the ordinances for eternity.

He was crucified and rose again. He atoned for Adam’s transgression. Every soul ever born upon the earth, or who will yet be born, will be literally resurrected. And “through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.” (Articles of Faith 1:3)

The Restoration

The Apostles were martyred, and in time an apostasy took place. The doctrines of the Church were corrupted and the ordinances changed. The keys of priesthood authority were lost. This universal Apostasy required a restoration of authority—of the priesthood keys, of doctrines, and of ordinances.

Joseph Smith was visited in person by God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. They told him they had a special work for him to do. Through him the keys would be restored, and the Church, as had been established by Jesus Christ when He was on the earth, would be restored.

Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood by John the Baptist (see Joseph Smith—History 1:68-69). They were ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood by the ancient Apostles Peter, James, and John (see D&C 27:12). These ordinations restored the authority and the keys for the kingdom of God, never again to be taken from the earth.

In April of 1830, the Prophet Joseph Smith organized The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, The true Church of Jesus Christ was once again among men, with authority “to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.” (Articles of Faith 15; see also Joseph Smith—History 1; D&C 20)

Other priesthood keys were conferred upon Joseph and Oliver by Moses, Elijah, Elias, and other ancient prophets (see D&C 110: 11-16; 128: 18-2 1).

The scriptures explain how authority should be conferred to ensure an unbroken line of authority The Lord said, “It shall not be given to any one to go forth to preach my gospel, or to build up my church, except he be ordained by some one who has authority, and it is known to the church that he has authority and has been regularly ordained by the heads of the church.” (D&C 42:ll)

That is why each of you is interviewed, called, and then sustained in a meeting. Then everyone knows what your responsibility is.

And, that revelation continues, “They shall observe the covenants and church articles to do them, and these shall be their teachings, as they shall be directed by the Spirit.” (D&C 42:13)

The Scriptures

Joseph Smith, with divine inspiration, translated and published the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

The Book of Mormon verifies the Old Testament as a rich source of information, prophecy, and writings on the priesthood by the ancient prophets.

The Book of Mormon confirms the New Testament account of the life and ministry of Jesus Christ and His Apostles.

Other revelations came to the Prophet Joseph Smith and to his successors, and they were published in the Doctrine and Covenants. The Doctrine and Covenants contains instructions on how to organize the Church, about the order of the priesthood and the ordinances and covenants of the priesthood.

These revelations explain the purpose of temples and command the Church to build temples for the redemption of the dead.

Much of the Pearl of Great Price was translated from ancient records. It includes the writings of Abraham and Moses, and also writings of Joseph Smith.

The Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price together form the scripture of the restored Church.

A commandment was also given that Emma Smith, the wife of the Prophet, compile a book of hymns, and that was published. The sacred music is a language of the Spirit, and the lyrics of the hymns teach doctrine and bring inspiration into our meetings.

The Handbooks

Handbooks of instruction have been prepared. They help priesthood and auxiliary leaders and teachers learn how to serve in priesthood and auxiliary organizations.

In order to learn:

- You read the scriptures and become familiar with them. When you have a decision to make and need help, ask yourself, “What has the Lord said about this? Is there anything in the scriptures that will show me what to do?”

- Then you consult the handbooks.

- Then you follow the counsel from those ordained to lead, your file leaders.

- You counsel together.

- And then you pray always, for “notwithstanding those things which are written, it always has been given to the elders of my church from the beginning, and ever shall be, to conduct all meetings as they are directed and guided by the Holy Spirit.” (D&C 46:2)

This will keep you on course.

Always, always follow the promptings of the Spirit. Ordinary men and [p.3] women, properly authorized, can serve the Lord as leaders and as teachers.

The Church must be the same everywhere. While the way we do things may change from time to time, we must be unified on doctrine and on principles. These do not change.

The Lord “gave some, apostles; and some, prophets;… [that all may] come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God.” (Ephesians 4:11,13; italics added)

There was revealed “the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church [with the same officers], apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth” (Articles of Faith l:6), just as it was established by the Savior.

The Principle of Presidency

For example, the principle of presidency is outlined in the scriptures.

The First Presidency was organized with the President, who holds all of the keys, and a First and a Second Counselor, together with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who also hold the keys. Along with the Seventy and the Presiding Bishopric, they administer the worldwide Church.

This pattern of a president, who has keys conferred upon him, and a first and second counselor, is duplicated in every stake, in priesthood quorums, in temples and missions, in wards and branches.

It is duplicated in auxiliaries. However, presidents of auxiliaries do not hold priesthood keys.

Each stake is independent from every other stake. The president holds the keys, but he does not stand alone. With his counselors, they form a presidency. With the high council and other officers, they govern the stake.

The stake presidency has authority to call, to release, to organize, to teach, to correct, according to the established pattern and as directed by the General Authorities who preside over them.

There is a presidency in every Melchizedek Priesthood quorum—the quorums of elders and high priests. Each has a president, who holds the keys, and counselors.

It is the same in the wards. Each ward, separate from every other ward, has a bishop who holds the keys. With his counselors, they are the bishopric, which is a presidency.

The bishop is nominated by the stake president and approved by the General Authorities under the direction of the First Presidency. He is called, ordained by the stake president to be a bishop, and then set apart to preside over the ward. He is also set apart as the presiding high priest of the ward and as president of the priests quorum. His counselors are set apart. The bishop presides over the Aaronic Priesthood. The bishopric calls and sets apart other officers and teachers to watch over the families and members.

It is very important that you understand that a president obtains the united support of his counselors in all decisions. The three of you pray and counsel together in all that you do. This is true in every presidency.

Priesthood Authority

Now, the family is the basic unit of the Church, ideally led by a husband and father who holds the priesthood. He presides over his family in righteousness.

The First Presidency has said, “The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility” (“News of the Church,” Ensign, June 1999, 80).

Authority in the priesthood is given through ordination. Power in the priesthood is received through righteous living. You must maintain your worthiness.

Can you see the divine inspiration in the Church with the “priesthood… after the holiest order of God” (D&C 84: 19) conferred upon each worthy man? Each of us can receive revelation and inspiration through the Holy Ghost.

These fundamental truths have not changed. In these very troubled times, they bring unity to the Church and to the family.

“And again, the elders, priests and teachers of this church shall teach the principles of my gospel, which are in the Bible and the Book of Mormon, in the which is the fulness of the gospel.” (D&C 42:l2)

The keys and authority are held in each stake and ward and branch. Worthy Church members may obtain recommends to receive the blessings of the temple, the covenants and ordinances, including eternal marriage.

All the priesthood keys essential to salvation and exaltation were conferred by heavenly authority upon the Prophet Joseph Smith. That authority is now reposed in the current First Presidency of the Church. And authority is delegated to priesthood leaders across the world.

The Holy Ghost

The Holy Ghost was conferred upon you following baptism. The Holy Ghost becomes your teacher and your comforter. Through the Holy Ghost, you receive inspired direction in your personal life, in your family, in your occupation, and in your callings in the Church.

Moroni reported that “their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost; for as the power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, or to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing, even so it was done.” (Moroni 6:9)

The Holy Ghost is like a sextant. For centuries sailors have found their way across the trackless oceans by looking to the heavens with a sextant like this one. They set a small mirror to catch the light of the stars by night or the sun by day. From that light they got their bearings and set their course.

This small sextant was used by a fisherman who rowed his boat out into the Atlantic Ocean off the coast [p.4] of France to fish. If he drifted beyond the horizon or was blown off course by a storm, he could look to the heavens and get his bearings and find his way home.

Light from heaven can keep the fisherman from drifting off course. The Spirit of the Holy Ghost will keep you from wandering into forbidden paths.

Fundumental Truths

Now, we end where we began, and much of what we do is based on these fundamental truths:

- Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church.
- He has built His Church upon the foundation of apostles and prophets. He Himself is the Chief Cornerstone.
- He has conferred priesthood authority on those who lead the Church in this latter-day dispensation.
- Each man and woman and child confirmed in the Church receives the Holy Ghost, like an individual sextant, to get a bearing and to keep him or her on course.

I bear testimony to you, brethren of the priesthood, that the gospel has been restored, that Jesus is the Christ, and that the power of it and the authority of it are delegated to you in your wards and branches in the farmost places across the world. I pray His blessings upon you, as leaders of the priesthood and as fathers and grandfathers of families, I pray the blessings of the Lord to be with your children and their children, that the purposes that the Lord had in mind when He established this Church will be fulfilled. I extend that blessing and bear that testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Revelation

Thank you, President Packer, for the symbol of the sextant. It’s a delicate, wonderful instrument, and it leads so naturally into a discussion on revelation. After all, brethren, without revelation we can’t govern the Lord’s Church. This instrument wouldn’t work without light. And one of the great blessings we have through revelation is to know that Jesus is the Light of the World. Furthermore, we are to see everything else by His light.

In fact, the very founding of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints involved the reading of an inspired scripture; you all know about it—James 1:5. Joseph Smith was moved by that scripture and went to a grove and uttered a heartfelt prayer. And then came the remarkable revelation in the spring of 1820.

The inviting words in James led to that marvelous moment, remarkable and unique, where young Joseph Smith saw both the Father and the Son and was instructed by them. The long-awaited dispensation of the fulness of times had begun!

In the very beginning, after Eden, revelation was needed by Adam: “And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, which beareth record of the Father and the Son.” (Moses 5:9) This is still a major mission of the Holy Ghost, namely, to witness of the Father and the Son and to glorify Christ (see 2 Nephi 31:18; John 16:14).

Personal Revelation

Brethren, our duty as Church leaders is likewise to receive personal revelation from the Holy Ghost confirming that “Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.” (D&C 46:13) If we and Church members are built upon the Rock of Our Redeemer, the promise is that amid life’s storms we will not be “dragged down” (see Helaman 5:12).

So vital is the help of the Holy Ghost that even angels “speak by the power of the Holy Ghost” (2 Nephi 32:3; 2 Nephi 33:l). Hence King Benjamin’s great sermon, which we are all thrilled by, came through an angel, by the power of the Holy Ghost (see Mosiah 32).

This witness about our Savior is vital for us not only personally, but as fathers and shepherds of our various Church flocks. For among those Church flocks are some who do not so know, but to whom “it is given to believe on [your] words, that they [p.5] also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.” (D&C 46:14) We need to know for their sakes too.

Even so, brethren, a few of you may still feel that revelation consists only of supernal events like the First Vision, or that revelation is out of your reach, or that it is something so extraordinary that a seemingly ordinary person is not entitled thereto. But you are entitled! Hence the few suggestions to follow concerning revelation. It’s usually a quiet, inward, but real and powerful process.

Only with revelation can we do the Lord’s work according to His will in His way and according to His timing.

More than any other way, the Holy Ghost can reveal to us how to connect the doctrines with our personal discipleship and also how to help members of the Church to do likewise. So when we “liken” these scriptures to ourselves, the Holy Ghost is necessary to help that to happen. He can see, for instance, our sins of omission, and by the workings of conscience, we are moved to repent of these sins as well. If we will do so, it will bring us even greater joy in this life than we have ever known.

Given in Mind and Heart

Most revelation comes in the following manner: “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost” (D&C 8:2; italics added). Now as you and I “liken” that scripture to ourselves, remember that both intellect and feeling are involved.

When Enos was “struggling in the spirit, behold, the voice of the Lord came into [his] mind again.” (Enos 1:10; italics added). This voice, brethren, need not pass through the eardrums. Instead, the words go directly to our minds—and they are audible and distinct, Sometimes revelations come by means of feelings. We are given needed direction by feelings, but feelings without explanations. So whether by words or by feelings, there comes to us an accompanying and reassuring sense of peace! This confirming peace is such a reassuring blessing, to know that it is all right and that the Lord has directed us.

Elder Eyring is going to describe the gift of discernment in connection with interviewing. This gift is a form of revelation that guides you stake presidents and bishops in your interviews. However, brethren, do not be surprised if sometimes you know more than you can tell. You will know more than you can explain. The gift of the Holy Ghost brings many other gifts. But, as Brigham Young observed, “we live far beneath our privileges.” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widstoe [1954], p. 32) Brethren, to the degree that we cease living “far beneath our privileges” and rise to our revelatory privileges, we can lift the Church as never before!

The Holy Ghost is perfect at causing two-way communication. Pretty rare in the human family is to have genuine two-way communication. But the scriptures tell us “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men” (2 Nephi 33:1), and “he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth.” (D&C 50:21) That is two-way communication, and it occurs during inspired teaching in a classroom, while speaking in sacrament meeting, or during conversations one with another.

At times, brethren, you will speak words beyond your own capacity. As President Marion G. Romney said a number of times, “I always know when I am speaking under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost because I always learn something from what I’ve said.” (quoted in Boyd K. Packer, Teach Ye Diligently [1975], p. 304)

As we get experience with revelation, it builds on itself, just as the Prophet Joseph Smith taught when he said, “A person may profit by noticing the first intimation of the spirit of revelation; for instance, when you feel pure intelligence flowing into you, it may give you sudden strokes of ideas.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], p. 151)

Serious Mental Effort

Enos’s struggling reminds us of Oliver Cowdery’s struggling to be able to translate. Oliver learned that it requires serious mental effort on our part. We have to take real thought, and then we have to continue as we commenced (see D&C 9:5-11). Brethren, revelation is not a matter of pushing buttons, but of pushing ourselves, often aided by fasting, scripture study, and personal pondering.

Most of all, revelation requires us to have a sufficient degree of personal righteousness, so that on occasion revelation may come to the righteous, unsolicited.

Now, brethren, in this scattered but wonderful congregation that girdles this globe, please remember, you live as close to heaven as any other location, and, mercifully, the Holy Ghost cannot be stopped at national borders, and revelation requires no visa!

As President Packer noted, we live in such varied conditions around the globe. Yet the Holy Ghost knows all those circumstances; He knows all of us. He can reach us in our various niches!

Never mind if the world doesn’t understand or even mocks this sacred process. Paul said, “The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spititually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:14; italics added)

I was once privileged to be with Elder Harold B. Lee late on a [p.6] Saturday night. He was selecting a new patriarch for a stake. As I sat with him in a nearly deserted stake center, I watched him interview a man and his wife and then issue the call. The man began to sob and the wife urged her husband by saying, “Tell him; tell President Lee.” And the husband, when he could regain his composure, said, “Brother Lee, the Lord told me two weeks ago this would happen.” Elder Lee turned to me and said, “You see, Neal, why we must operate by the spirit of revelation.” Hence, whatever our several callings, revelation is essential to help us discern the way. For instance, inspired and discerning patriarchs are guided by the Holy Ghost to bless members with personalized, not routine blessings.

Again, brethren, please remember that we sometimes receive directions without explanations. For instance, a bishop may feel a person is not quite ready yet to go to the temple. Or a bishop may fee1 he ought to talk to a particular husband and wife without, at first, knowing quite why.

Revelation can also help you administratively, to emphasize certain weightier matters in order to bless the flock, especially in some situations. Elder Perry will teach us about matching available time and resources, which are sometimes scarce, in order to build the Church better.

Sometimes, when we are taking thought and studying things out in our minds, revelation serves a unique purpose in that it connects incomplete insights. Then the whole matter becomes clear and things are “fitly framed” together (see Ephesians 2:21).

Sometimes the Holy Ghost will bring needed things to our remembrance, and other times He will put thoughts into our hearts “in the very hour, yea, in the very moment.” (D&C 100:6) Brethren, we can so prepare to have things brought to our remembrance by “treasuring up” beforehand precious things in our individual storehouses of memories (see D&C 11:26; 84:85).

Proper Channels

Remember, however, revelation always follows proper channels. Thus, Bishop “A” does not receive revelation for Bishop “B.” Nor do lay members receive revelation for the whole Church, which is the role of the President and the prophet of the Church.

Sometimes the Spirit brings us much needed personal peace, especially in a world filled with “commotion,” in which there are “wars and rumors of wars.” (D&C 45:26) More than we realize, brethren, for example, it is the comforting from the Comforter which helps us to avoid growing weary and fainting in our minds (see Hebrews 12:3). We have got quite a few Church members who have fainted in their minds and need to be revived.

Sometimes directional revelation is given for the whole Church by the Lord’s prophet. This occurred when President Lorenzo Snow was moved upon to stress the need for Church members to pay a full tithing. Likewise, President Gordon B. Hinckley was clearly inspired to direct the surge in the building of many temples, so that more faithful members worldwide can receive their temple blessings. It was what the Lord wanted done, but it was also done according to the Lord’s timing.

Sometimes doctrinal revelation is given to the President of the Church for the whole Church, and the scriptures end up begetting more scriptures. The Prophet Joseph, for instance, was spiritually stirred while he was reading a scripture from John 5:29. He then received instructive revelation, now known as Doctrine and Covenants, section 76. Or, when President Joseph F. Smith had been reading and pondering verses in 1 Peter, he received what is now known as section 138 concerning the work in the spirit world.

Personal Discipleship

We too can “liken” the scriptures unto ourselves “for our profit and learning” (1 Nephi 19:23), and thereby inspire our own families, serve better in our callings, and progress more in our personal discipleship. Moving forward in our personal discipleship is no small thing, brethren. We are to exemplify as well as to expound and to exhort.

Please teach others about revelation, brethren. It is imperative that more and more of our members and leaders enjoy this great privilege. The scriptures assure us that God’s words can come, “not only [to] men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned” (Alma 32:23).

To select but one example from personal experience: several years ago in the midst of leukemia, I was doing some pensive pondering and these 13 instructive and reassuring words came into my mind: “I have given you leukemia that you might teach my people with authenticity.” I surely testify that this process is real, whether it concerns our duties and callings or our personal discipleship. Each of us needs precious perspective about the great realities of eternity. Once again, amid the challenges of everyday life and even the worries of the moment, it is the same revealing Holy Spirit which tells of “things as they really are, and of things as they really will be.” (Jacob 4:13) Such glimpses of eternity can help us to travel the next 100 yards, which may be very difficult.

Brethren, we love you! We have confidence in your ability to seek and receive revelation! Remember, our families—about whom Elder Ballard will speak—as well as our Church [p.7] flocks, deserve shepherds who know that Jesus is the Christ and who know how to receive revelation.

I testify that the Church is governed by revelation and, further, that each member has the right to revelation in his or her callings and in personal discipleship as well. Very importantly, brethren, this is a time which was prophesied when the nations of the earth would be in distress, with perplexity (see Luke 21:25). Therefore, it is essential that Church members receive spiritual confirmation that the directions, the prophetic directions, being given by Church leaders truly are to guide us in these latter days. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder L. Tom Perry
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Basic Unit Program

Thank you, Elder Maxwell, for reminding us how important revelation is to our spiritual growth and the growth of the Church. It is a great privilege to receive counsel from the Lord Himself that will help us answer our questions and solve our problems.

I would like to talk to you about the opportunities many of you are facing in establishing the Church and building the Church in areas where there are few members.

Different Needs and Challenges

I know firsthand the challenges you face in building a branch. I grew up in a very small Latter-day Saint community in northern Utah. Our whole community activity centered around the Church. The community was nearly 100 percent Latter-day Saint. I had deep involvement in what was going on, for my father served as my bishop of our ward for the first 18 years of my life. During that period, I watched the way he administered the Church. I watched how he involved us to be certain we understood how the gospel affects our lives and those who embrace its divine teachings.

It was a fully developed ward organization. There was little conflict with the Sunday meeting schedule. We spent Sunday morning in priesthood meeting, followed by Sunday School. Then we came back in the evening and enjoyed sacrament meeting. There was very little in the community to distract us from attending. Tuesday evening was always Mutual. Even our schoolteachers recognized that and lightened up on the homework load, allowing us to participate in our Mutual activities. There was abundant leadership to give direction to the Primary, Young Men, Young Women, Relief Society, Sunday School, priesthood, and all the other organizations. I felt very comfortable and secure in this community.

When I reached the age of 19, it was time for me to leave the comforts of home and journey into the mission field. I had received a call to serve in the Northern States Mission. I was assigned to go to Columbus, Ohio. I had served in Columbus for only a month when my companion and I [p.8] were moved to Marion, a little town some distance away.

One Church family had moved to Marion for employment. The husband was an engineer by profession. He and his wife had been lifetime members of the Church. They had two small children. He was determined that his family would be reared in the gospel and have opportunities to participate in Church activities. He had encouraged our mission president to send two missionaries into the community so his family could have a Church experience.

My companion and I started with just one family as members of the Church. We held our sacrament meeting in the living room of their home. What a contrast this was to the full program of the Church I had experienced in my hometown in northern Utah! For teaching materials, all we had were the scriptures. There was no program for Primary, Mutual, Sunday School, or Relief Society. The only priesthood brethren were my companion and I and one high priest.

With that beginning, we started to organize a branch of the Church. We proselyted long hours during the day to find people we could invite to come and join us. Fortunately, in tracting, we found three other families living in Marion who were members of the Church. They knew nothing of our efforts until we knocked on their doors. These four families formed the nucleus of the branch. Almost every Sunday my companion and I did most of the preaching, teaching, praying, and administering the sacrament.

Gradually the living room became too small to accommodate the numbers attending the little branch. We moved to a rented hall to hold our services. The Church started to supply us with teaching materials. With more priesthood bearers available, now we could add priesthood meeting to our Sunday School and sacrament meeting schedules. At that point, our biggest challenge was trying to keep from moving too fast and loading down the members with too many Church callings.

A few years ago I had the opportunity of returning to Marion. They now have a small chapel in which to meet. Because of their small numbers, they are still a branch. They still are not ready for the fully developed program of the Church.

Guidebooks for Basic Units

As General Authorities travel throughout the world, we see many stages of the Church organization. Some units are fully organized, like the one in my hometown. Others are small branches, similar to the one in Marion. Despite the differences in organization, the Spirit is still the same.

The Brethren recognize that units of the Church are at different stages of development and have different needs. For the fully matured wards and stakes of the Church, we have provided a handbook of instructions. The handbook contains the doctrine, policies, and procedures for the mature Church organization. It is a library and a reference guide. However, it contains instructions that are sometimes beyond the ability of smaller units to follow fully.

Therefore, we have developed a Basic Unit Program Guidebook for the beginning units, such as the one we had in Marion. It is small and quick to read. It has four companions: a Family Guidebook, a Branch Guidebook, a Teaching Guidebook, and a Priesthood and Auxiliary Leaders’ Guidebook. These guidebooks are all that members of the Church need to function fully as a basic Church unit.

There is nothing second-class about being a basic unit. The Savior’s Church in all dispensations, where it has been established, began simply with a basic organization and basic materials. The Spirit does not limit itself just to a big Church organization. In fact, I found a wonderful closeness in the branch we established in the mission field. The people knew each other; they loved each other; they strengthened each other; they built one another’s testimonies. Any Church unit, large or small, would be blessed to have that kind of spirit.

Somewhere between this basic Church program and the handbook of instructions for the mature Church exist all of the branches, districts, wards, and stakes throughout the world.

We have seen some difficulty when unit leaders request the division of their unit before they are ready. Premature dividing can sap the strength of a branch or ward before it becomes a center of strength.

Some leaders religiously search the handbook of instructions trying to organize the full program, without consideration of the available leadership or the number of members whom they could serve. At times, in our eagerness to develop the full program of the Church, we overburden our members. Too many responsibilities can cause them to withdraw from Church activities.

There are several reasons members fall away from the Church. Some do not have a friend. Others do not find spiritual nourishment. Still others are not given a calling that helps them strengthen their testimony. On the other hand, we can give members too much to do, overwhelming them. For this reason we should attempt to give each individual in our unit just one calling plus home or visiting teaching.

Organizational Inventory

Now, as leaders, how do you decide where your organization fits? If you have even a few leaders, I suggest you take an inventory. Determine the number of members you serve, their ages, and their needs. [p.9] First, look at the total membership of your branch or ward. From this list, identify those adults who are active and can serve. This group will be your leadership base. They will serve in positions necessary to build your organization.

Now decide what kind of organization your leaders will need to fulfill their callings. If you have a few priesthood holders, your first objective will be to build a Melchizedek Priesthood base. Do the same for the sisters. If you have sufficient numbers, form a Relief Society with small numbers, maybe all you will need will be a president to lead the organization, but that will be a good start.

Next, identify the youth in your unit. Determine the type of program, activities, and instruction they need to have a Young Men and a Young Women program. If they are not ready, wait before you create a youth organization. The Spirit will tell you when the time is right.

Finally, identify the number and names of the children. Create a Primary organization that is just large enough to meet their needs.

For example, in taking an inventory in a very small unit, you may find that there are not many youth. If so, do not create separate classes; instead, combine the youth into one class. Or, if you find that you have very few children, you do not need to call a Primary presidency. Maybe all you will need is an instructor to teach the children.

Strengths and Needs

The secret in building a branch or a district, a ward or a stake is to know your members, their abilities, and their needs, and build your program based on the leadership available and the needs of your members.

Once you know the members well enough to match them with the tight calling, you can focus on the instructional materials they will need. Keep in mind that for basic units, we have provided a basic curriculum. For mature units, we have provided a general Church curriculum.

In all you do, be aware that bigger is not necessarily better. Grow only as fast as the size and maturity of your unit permit. Preserve the strength of your members. Enjoy each stage of your unit’s growth. Remember the fundamentals.

President Hinckley has continued to remind us to do the best we can. He did not say “Do whatever you can,” but emphasized, “Do your best.”

Obedience to the Spirit

What is your objective? What is your goal? It is to build a strong testimony in the life of each member we have and encourage members to serve. Encourage them to keep the commandments of the Lord and receive all the sacred ordinances that will qualify them for eternal life. It is important to share our testimonies with others and give them the opportunity of embracing the gospel of Jesus Christ. We need to live worthy of having the Holy Ghost as our constant companion, to inspire us in our responsibilities.

We need to remember that the Lord will bless us with wisdom, with revelation, with strength beyond our own. He will even provide miracles for us when we have done all we can. With His help, we will move forward. He has the power to help. He will inspire and direct us as we serve Him faithfully in guiding His children.

A number of years ago I had some responsibility for the country of Peru. Inflation and internal strife had made life difficult for the people there. For their safety it was necessary to remove those leaders and full-time missionaries from the country who were not Peruvian.

The Area Presidency recognized the need to fortify the members. After much prayer and fasting, the Area Presidency decided to emphasize two basic gospel teachings: family prayer and family scripture study. Instructions were passed down through the priesthood line. Fathers were specifically asked to lead their families in daily prayer and scripture study.

The results were astounding. The Peruvian Saints faithfully adopted family prayer and scripture study as part of their daily routines. As they did so, testimonies increased. We saw a significant increase in sacrament meeting attendance. The Saints began to love and care for each other. They would undergo difficult and dangerous travel to attend the temple, and temple attendance increased.

The number of local and full-time missionaries from the wards and branches of Peru also increased. And the Peruvian missionaries arrived in the field much better prepared to serve, which resulted in a greater number of convert baptisms.

Because the leaders simply taught the practice of family prayer and family scripture study in their sacrament meetings, a remarkable maturing in gospel understanding and practice developed among the Saints. It does not take a complicated Church organization or a full library of materials to help Church members mature in the gospel. What they need, more than anything else, is the influence of the Spirit to give divine direction and faithful obedience.

Blessings of the Temple

If our members build on such a foundation, they will grow spiritually and eventually be ready for the ordinances of the temple. In fact, our primary goal should be to prepare every individual to enter the house of the Lord. We must “do the best we can” to see that every husband and wife are sealed together for time and eternity. Brethren, make it a personal goal to help each adult member of your unit become worthy of holding a current temple recommend.

[p.10] We live in exciting times but also dangerous times. As the Lord has increased His pace, so has Satan. We need the Lord’s help every step of the way. That is why He offers to make covenants with us—first in the waters of baptism, then renewed at the sacrament table, and finally in the temple. Spiritual strength flows from the Lord’s endless supply when we keep our covenants. If, as priesthood leaders, you only help your members keep their covenants with the Lord, you have done measurably what you are expected to do.

In closing, I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon you. May the Lord bless and prosper you in your families and in your Church callings. May He bless you abundantly with His Spirit. May He give you a clear mind and an understanding heart. In return, may you be wise in moving the kingdom forward. I encourage you to move at a pace slow enough that the weak will not be left behind and fast enough to keep the journey interesting. This is the Lord’s work. I bear my witness of that fact. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder Henry B. Eyring
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Standards of Worthiness

Brethren, think for a moment about your happiest experience in all your Church service. Now think about your saddest experience in your service. For most of us, both moments will be about people. Your happiest moments, and mine, have been when someone we loved and served rose up to live the Lord’s standards of worthiness and reaped blessings from it. And the saddest moment will have been when someone reaped misery from failing to rise to those standards.

The Lord’s Standards

The Lord sets His standards so that He can bless us. Think about those blessings: He promises those who meet the standards the help of the Holy Ghost. He promises personal peace. He promises the chance to receive holy ordinances in His house. And He promises those who endure in living His standards that they will have eternal life. They will live in families in the presence of our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son.

The Lord sets standards of what we must be and what we must do to be worthy of His blessings. Every missionary has seen that work. I did. I saw it when I baptized a big, strong 20-year-old man. When I brought him up out of the water, he grabbed me and with a smile on his face he said, over and over again, “I’m clean! I’m clean!” Some of the water pouring down off his face was from the font, but some of it was tears of joy from his eyes.

When my companion and I placed our hands on his head later to confirm him a member of the Church and give him the gift of the Holy Ghost, he found a quiet moment with us afterwards. His face was shining and he said, “When you had your hands on my head, I felt a warmth go through me from my head and down into my chest. It was like fire.”

We baptized nearly 20 people in that city. He was the only one, at least that I remember, who told us so clearly that the promised blessings from being baptized in water and by the Spirit had been given him. All the other people we baptized had desired baptism. All of them had at least some confirmation by the Spirit that [p.11] something we taught them was true. But with him, we made sure he had met the standard, the Lord’s standard, for baptism.

You remember that standard from the Doctrine and Covenants: “And again, by way of commandment to the church concerning the manner of baptism—All those who humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end, and truly manifest by their works that they have received of the Spirit of Christ unto the remission of their sins, shall be received by baptism into his church.” (D&C 20:37)

Now, that young man met the Lord’s standards of worthiness for baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost, and so the Lord gave him the blessings. There are also standards of worthiness to receive the Melchizedek Priesthood. There are standards to receive the blessings of the temples of the Lord. They are high and they are unchangeable. We have no right to alter them or to ignore them when we recommend anyone for sacred blessings.

The Lord’s standard of worthiness includes some commandments we cannot break. We must be chaste. We must be full-tithe payers. We must keep the Word of Wisdom. We must be honest. And those commandments must be kept with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and with a humble and repentant heart.

Because we love the people we serve, all of us want to do better in lifting our Heavenly Father’s children to the faithfulness and purity they need, to have all the blessings of the Lord. Brethren, my purpose today is to help you find ways to do that.

You know where to start, from your own experience and from what the scriptures tell us about how the prophets did it. You begin by holding up the Lord’s standards clearly and without apology And the more the world drifts from them and mocks them, the bolder we must be in doing that.

Let’s start with the standard the Lord has set to receive a temple recommend. Lifting people to that standard is a great test of our leadership. The standard is very high. It has to be. Those who meet it are worthy to enter the house of the Lord. They have to be pure enough to go where the Lord Himself can go.

Temple Recommend Interviews

We’ll talk about how the first temple recommend interview should be conducted by a bishop or branch president. From that, we will see more clearly what all of us must do to help people rise to the Lord’s standards of worthiness.

To make it easier to visualize, think of yourself as a bishop or branch president about to interview someone for his or her first temple recommend. Before the applicant arrives, you have prepared yourself for the interview. You have prayed for the gift of inspiration. Only with revelation from God can you succeed.

You made absolutely sure the interview will be private. And you scheduled enough time so that you won’t be rushed.

Now let’s start with what you do as members enter. You make them feel welcome. You must find a way to say that you represent the Lord in this interview. Answers to your questions certify worthiness to Him, through you. You should tell them that they would want to enter the house of the Lord only as they are free from any unclean, unholy, impure, or unnatural practice and thus are worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. And you should let them know that you have prayed for the spirit of discernment—for them and for you.

Even if you think you know the person’s worthiness well from previous interviews, you ask all the questions in the recommend book. You should not add any requirements. Satisfactory answers to those questions will allow you to know that the person is qualified to enter the temple.

The first three questions give you great opportunity. They each begin with, “Do you have a testimony of …” The first is about the Godhead, the second is about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the third is about the Restoration of the gospel in the latter days. Each can be answered with a single word: “Yes.” But rather than rush on to the next questions, you would be wise to invite members to express their feelings. You might ask what the Atonement has meant to them or how they feel about the Prophet Joseph Smith. When they answer, they and you will feel the Holy Ghost bearing witness. That will help them answer honestly all the questions which will follow. And it will help you discern their worthiness.

Then ask the next question about sustaining the leaders of the Church as the called servants of God. Although that does not include the words “do you have a testimony,” an affirmative answer is a witness that they know by the Holy Ghost that the Lord calls His servants in His Church.

The questions which follow in the temple recommend interview include whether they live the law of chastity, live righteously in their families, are not affiliated with or sympathetic to apostate groups, strive to keep covenants, are honest, pay a full tithe, and keep the Word of Wisdom.

Answers to all of those questions require self-evaluation. That means they must know the Lord’s standard in sufficient detail to answer. And it [p.12] means that they must have decided to be honest, whatever the cost.

That is particularly important and difficult for the standard of chastity when you interview young, unmarried applicants. The Lord’s standard is brief and clear: it is to have no sexual relations with anyone except with your husband or wife. The drift in the world has misled some young people before marriage to delude themselves that they have not violated the standard of chastity when they have. Some may think themselves chaste when they aren’t. Some may have rationalized their sins this way with this thought: “If the bishop doesn’t ask about sexual acts in detail, I don’t have to confess and repent.”

You must pray for revelation to act wisely Each individual is different and has different experiences. You must be particularly careful not to discuss the private sexual life of a married applicant. You must never be immodest. You must never put temptations into the mind of the person you interview by what you ask or say.

And yet for the unmarried applicant, you must dig deeply enough to allow you to discern whether the person is chaste by the Lord’s standards. If you are impressed to do it, you might use the statement in the booklet For the Strength of Youth. It has three pages in which the standard is given in enough detail to give guidance to unmarried people.

But, bishop, if you find very often that you have to explain the standard of chastity or what a full tithe is in those interviews, you know that they need more preparation.

Before the Interview

Before you invite members for their first temple recommend interview, you can give them the opportunity to attend a temple preparation seminar. Stake presidents or bishops can organize those seminars. You may invite to those seminars, as you are inspired, those who are less-active members, new members of the Church, unendowed adults, and endowed members who have not renewed their recommends for a long time. Everyone invited to that seminar is to read carefully and prayerfully the new and wonderful booklet Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple.

There is a teacher’s manual for that seminar entitled Endowed from on High. Listen to the first sentence under the paragraph describing who to attend: “Participants in this course should desire to go to the temple and be worthy of a temple recommend. If they have not yet received a temple recommend, they should be preparing to receive one.” ([1995], iv).

Bishops and branch presidents, that means that people must be lifted to the worthiness standard before the temple recommend interview. They should start the preparation seminar already living the worthiness standard.

Brethren, you can see why that is so. For instance, if the standard of chastity must be explained in graphic detail in the interview, the possibility of tragedy is great. Many of us know the pain, the heartbreak, the test of faith that comes when people must be told in that interview that they are not worthy to go the temple. Even when they answer the questions with the right answers, you may have to say at the end of the interview, “I don’t have a settled feeling about signing your recommend tonight. Let’s meet again soon.” From that will come a confession which could have come earlier. The confession is a blessing because the member can start the redemptive process of repentance.

But the time to repent fully may be long. It would be so much better for them if they had been taught the standards early. Not only would they be ready to answer the questions with confidence in a temple recommend interview, but that early start to live the standards might have fortified them against temptation. The temple recommend interview can be a joyful time when repentance is complete and members feel the peace of knowing that they have met the Lord’s standard.

Help from Family and Others

Brethren, you already have the power you need from your calls to help members rise to the Lord’s standards. But the bishops and branch presidents are heavily burdened. They can’t prepare every candidate alone. They need help.

Bishop, there is a simple thing you can do. Think of the names of people who need preparation to understand and live the standards of the house of the Lord. Write down their names. Pray about them.

Now ask yourself this question: “What does each of those people need to know about the standards and getting the faith to live them?” It will be a little different for each one. One program won’t fit them all. They need help fitted just to them.

But there are some things they all need. They need to know the standards. Then they must get a testimony that living the standards will bring happiness. They need to want that happiness. And they need to have a testimony by the Spirit that not living the standards will bring misery, in this life and the next.

And so, ask this question: “Where is that person most likely to get the needed individual help?” What you will find is that for all members what they need is already in place.

Start with families. The family is where standards are best taught and where that testimony is most likely to come. Parents can be clear and consistent about standards as no one else can. But too many aren’t doing it yet as well as they can.

So you should gather together in council to seek revelation to know what is keeping families in your unit [p.13] from rising to their solemn charge to teach their children “to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands.” (D&C 68:25) The Lord will answer as you counsel together and pray, You will then know what to do and what not to do. And your families will be given greater power.

Now, some members will not have faithful parents and families around them. They must be taught by quorum leaders and class leaders or by Young Men or Young Women leaders. You may not have enough active members to staff every position. But you can be sure that all those you are preparing for temple blessings have someone who cares about them, who is set apart to teach them, and who has also been taught the Lord’s standards and feels the blessings that come from living them. How to do that in your unit will be another productive question for you to discuss in your councils.

Bishops, here is a change to make in the way you lead. Think of the people. Ask, “Am I sure that there is someone called to watch over each member, someone who can help each member rise to those standards, to become worthy of the temple of God?”

Remember your aim—it is to make each person responsible and accountable to God for living His standards. That means that the people being prepared for the temple need more than someone to serve them; they need to be called to serve others. In fact, they need to serve others more than they need to be served. The Lord has provided opportunities to serve in the largest ward and the smallest branch in the Church, anywhere in the world. For instance, every priesthood holder from a teacher to a high priest and every woman in the Relief Society can be called to visit other members for the Lord.

In what appears to be that simple responsibility to visit, there is the necessity to exercise faith, to ponder the scriptures, and to plead with God for help. Think of the charge from the Lord to those we call “home teachers.” Consider what doing such a work would do to teach both the standards of worthiness and the blessings of living them:

“The teacher’s duty is to watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them;
“And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking;
“And see that the church meet together often, and also see that all the members do their duty.” (D&C 20:53-55)

Do you hear in those words an echo of the temple standard? That call puts them in the place of lifting others to the standards of worthiness. All calls to serve in the kingdom of God, properly given, are calls to rise to the Lord’s standards of worthiness and to help others rise to them. With those calls revelation is promised for those who seek it in faith. With those calls, faithfully performed, testimony and forgiveness through the Atonement will come. When the Holy Ghost becomes a companion, then the standards become clear and the rewards for meeting them both sweet and sure.

Drawing Us to Him

The Lord has given us His standards of worthiness. He has not done it to keep us away from Him but to draw us to Him.

We must be bold in holding the Lord’s standard before the people. They must be chaste. They must be full-tithe payers. They must live the Word of Wisdom. They must be honest. That is required of the Lord’s people. If we fail to do all we can to see that they rise to the Lord’s standards, their sorrows will come upon us.

I testify that as we hold the Lord’s standards high, they will draw the people to the Lord. More people, not fewer, will respond to the invitation of the missionaries to enter the door of baptism and come into the Church. And more of them will be true converts, cleansed and changed. With standards held high, more missionaries will go into the field with greater power. And more of your members will enter the temples of God with the feeling that they are going home, worthy of the sacred privilege.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[p.14]
Elder M. Russell Ballard
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Family and Temple

My brethren, I hope I will now be able to add to the wonderful things that have been taught that will help you in your callings. I would like to begin by discovering together how well we understand and are applying a few more basic leadership principles. Will you take a clean piece of paper, and with your pencil would you number down the page from one to seven? If you don’t have a pencil and paper, would you answer each of these questions in your mind? And please don’t worry. We’re not going to have this show up on your eternal report card. Here are the questions:

1. What single organization has the most influence upon your children?

2. Where are the habits of work, honesty, and the development of good character best learned?

3. Where can children and youth best develop a love for their Heavenly Father and an abiding faith in His Son, Jesus Christ?

4. Where is the best place for them to learn to read and love the scriptures?

5. Where is the best place to learn why, when, and how to pray?

6. Which worthy organization will continue after this life and throughout eternity?

7. What is the first basic unit of the Church?

Now, let’s see how well you have answered these questions. If you have responded to each question with the answer “THE FAMILY” you are 100 percent correct.

The Importance of Family

Now let me ask you one more important question: “How would the members over whom you preside answer these questions?” Ask yourself, “Has your example as a priesthood leader taught them how important the family is as the basic unit of the Church? From your teachings, do they understand that the family is ordained of God and is vital to His eternal plan?”

Perhaps some of you are thinking, “Now, Elder Ballard, we have heard all this before.” Well, in fact, President Packer, Elder Perry, Elder Maxwell, and Elder Eyring have already taught you this today And it’s because this principle is so vitally important. Wherever you live you can see families being torn apart. Societies are shifting basic values away from precious family values, and we’re surrounded by those who discount the importance of family. And we understand today that not all families have a father and a mother guiding them, but regardless of that, every individual is connected to his family.

President Spencer W Kimball said this: “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, p. 3; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, p. 4)

Brethren, remember, the Church is organized to assist families. Activities in our various branches and wards and stakes are very important, but they must not replace or consume all of the time for parents to teach their children within the walls of their own homes. You bishops and stake presidents should exercise wise judgment to see that family activities and Church activities are carefully balanced.

In 1995 the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles issued the publication entitled “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” This proclamation contains doctrine and principles that are vital to the happiness and well-being of every family. In the proclamation we warned the whole world that “the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102) Teach your members to read and ponder the teachings of the proclamation frequently, and show them how important it is for family members to live by these principles. In your council meetings, find out whether every family has a copy of [p.15] the proclamation, and if they haven’t, then we would encourage you to see that they get one and review it often.

Another excellent resource that is available in many languages is the Marriage and Family Relations course of study. This course is designed to teach members how to find joy in marriage and in all their family relationships.

Resources for Families

Every organization of the Church can be very helpful if members will sit in council together and discuss how they can help families that they are responsible for. For example, in council you can discuss how to get the Ensign or the Liahona to each family so they can stay informed through the general conference messages and the other instructions and counsel received from general officers of the Church. This is a great resource, and we’re not using it as well as we should. And another example: in council meetings you can decide how to implement President Hinckley’s instruction of last general conference on family home evening. He taught us that family home evening is “a time of teaching, of reading the scriptures, of cultivating talents, of discussing family matters,” and “not a time to attend athletic events or anything of the kind.” Then he concluded, “We urge, in the strongest terms possible, that fathers and mothers regard most seriously this opportunity and challenge to make of Monday evening a time sacred to the family.” (in Conference Report, Oct. 2002, p. 64; or Ensign, Nov. 2002, p. 58) Now, if you have the magazines, you can read the entire instruction that the President gave to us on this subject. Brethren, know the resources that the Church makes available, and then show your members how to use them appropriately to bless their families.

In the Book of Mormon there is a good example on teaching from Alma to his son Helaman. In the 36th chapter and the 37th chapter (I will move around a little bit in it), he says, “And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me.” (Alma 36:3)

Then, in continuing his instruction to him, he said, “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6)

Alma reminded him of the Liahona or the compass that the had had prepared to guide their forefathers in the wilderness. You remember this: “And it did work for them according to their faith in God. … Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works.” (Alma 37:40-41) (This is Alma teaching his son.) But “they were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey.” (Alma 37:41)

Now, my brethren, as leaders of missions, stakes, and wards, as temple presidents, as patriarchs, or in other assignments, we have the challenge to lead our own family and others we are responsible for through the wilderness of sin in today’s world. This can be just as difficult as in the days of the Book of Mormon. So let us not tarry in the wilderness of today’s confused world and lose our direction because of the simpleness of the way.

The Simple Things

All of us can lead our families through this mortal journey by following the path marked by the scriptures and the words of our living prophets. We have the duty to show our people, by example and teaching, how to stay on the gospel path.

Now let’s review some of these simple things that the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have taught repeatedly to help us find our way safely back to Heavenly Father. You may want to make a note of these things:

- Share unselfish love between husband and wife and between parents and children.

- Humbly offer frequent and regular daily family and individual prayers.

- Show simple kindness and courtesy to one another. Avoid the spirit of the “exercise [of] control or dominion or compulsion,” as we read about in the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verse 37.

- Regularly read and ponder the scriptures individually and as a family.

- Use wholesome, fun family activities to help parents and children to know each other better and to make lasting memories.

- Keep the Sabbath day holy.

- Hold family home evening each week.

- Pay an honest tithing and other offerings. Attending tithing settlement with your children is a meaningful way to show them the importance of living this commandment.

Now let me share an example from my experience of serving as a bishop twice. One of the most precious experiences a bishop has is when a family comes to tithing settlement. And there is just nothing quite like a child who puts the coins on the desk of the bishop and then with those glistening, happy eyes, looks at the bishop and reports, “Bishop, this is my full tithing.” Don’t lose this opportunity, bishops, of connecting with your people at tithing settlement.

- Strive for family self-reliance—spiritually, physically, and temporally.

- This will prove to be essential in the future as the troubles in the world continue to increase.
- Attend the temple as often as you can.

Now these are simple things, brethren, that all of us can do. Each of them carries a blessing. So, [p.16] brethren, discuss together how you can help your members live these simple principles so they will stay on the gospel path.

The Responsibility of Parents

Bishops, we ask you particularly to teach fathers that each of them has the opportunity and the responsibility to lead and bless his family in righteousness. Show them how to prepare their sons to be stalwart, worthy priesthood holders. The greatest influence in helping young men prepare for the Melchizedek Priesthood, marriage, and fatherhood is the family. If their sons understand the basic doctrines required to become faithful fathers, the sons will surely be ready to serve worthily as full-time missionaries. Now, you need to teach the fathers and mothers that they cannot escape this eternal responsibility. Ecclesiastical and auxiliary leaders are an important resource to help parents and to assist parents to strengthen their family, but they are not a substitute for the direction that comes to the family through the inspired teaching and guidance and direction of worthy parents.

Explain that mothers and fathers share equally in the opportunity of rearing their children. As President Hinckley has reminded us, “Under the plan of heaven, the husband and the wife walk side by side as companions, neither one ahead of the other, but a daughter of God and a son of God walking side by side.” (“Latter-day Counsel,” Ensign, Mar. 2001, p. 64)

Help mothers to know that they should be examples of modesty and virtue for their daughters to follow. This is becoming increasingly more important. They have the best opportunity to teach and prepare children in a climate of love with a simple faith in Heavenly Father. Mothers, with the help of fathers, teach their sons and daughters how to prepare to be good parents to their own children and that they must be true and faithful to one another. Remind them that their children will be raising their precious grandchildren. And the important role of grandparents in teaching and strengthening families must also be considered by all of us.

As leaders we all need to work to teach parents to be good listeners so children will confide in them, and share with them their fears and problems, knowing that their parents will understand and help them. And children know if we are listening.

Years ago when our family was little, one of my daughters, about five years of age, came and climbed on my lap. I was reading the newspaper, and she started to talk to me very rapidly about something that was very important to her. I was saying, “Uh-huh,” “Uh-huh,” but I didn’t put the paper down. She reached up and grabbed the paper and ripped it out of my hands. She put her little hands on my face and lined our eyes up, and she said, “Daddy, you are not listening to me.” And she was dead right. I was not.

Now, brethren, we need to be good listeners to our own families, and we need to be good listeners in our Church callings. Remember, wise and effective counsel begins with careful and sincere listening. Draw upon the insights and the experiences of your council members. Talk with them. Listen to them. Together you can build the kingdom of God as never before.

Temple Blessings

Now finally, brethren, in all our leadership and in all our efforts, we must focus on teaching each member in every family that our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness is for all His children. His plan is centered in the life and ministry of His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Through the precious Atonement, we as families may have the glorious promise of eternity where we can live together forever as families. The holy temples are given to us so we can be sealed together as families by the priesthood of God. As families we can teach one another the doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and live by its teachings, so we can enjoy the full blessings of the temple and be able to return to Heavenly Father’s kingdom and be together as families. Never forget, brethren, that children of parents who are married in the temple are many times more likely to marry in the temple themselves than those who are not.

President Hinckley has also taught: “Until you have received the sacred … ordinances of the [temple], you have not received all of the wonderful blessings which this Church has to offer. The great and crowning blessings of membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are those blessings which come to us in the house of the Lord.” (“Recurring Themes of President Hinckley,” Ensign, June 2000, p. 19) The President also said: “Every time you come to the temple, you will be a better man or woman when you leave than you were when you came. I believe that with all my heart. Redouble your efforts and your faithfulness in going to the temple … and the Lord will bless you, and you will be happier.” (“Latter-day Counsel,” Ensign, Mar. 2001, p. 65)

May God bless you, my brethren. We sincerely ask now that you would go forward from this meeting and teach these simple doctrines, which the Brethren have shared with you, to the individuals and to the families for whom you are responsible. Lead them to the eternal goal of receiving all the blessings that living the gospel offers, including those of the holy temple. We love and appreciate each one of you, my brethren. We pray that the Lord will bless you and your family in your tremendous responsibilities that you carry in building up the kingdom of God, and do so in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[p.17]
President Gordon B. Hinckley
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Soints

Missionary Service

The Brethren have suggested that I speak to you on missionary service. This is a matter to which we have given much attention in recent months.

Missionary work is the lifeblood of the Church. It is the principal means by which it grows. It is because of this service that the Church has reached its present size in 172 years.

This work is older than the Church itself. Samuel Smith went about distributing the Book of Mormon before the Church was organized.

As all of you know, this work was mandated by the Savior Himself in His instructions to the Apostles before His final ascension: “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.” (Matthew 28:19)

In this dispensation He has plainly repeated the importance of this work: “Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.” (D&C 18:14).

None of us can have any doubt concerning its necessity. You ask, Who should do full-time missionary work?”

Those who are worthy and who are called.

Concerning their qualifications the Lord has said:

“And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work.
“Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.” (D&C 4:5-6)

Regrettably, not everyone meets those qualifications.

The Standards for Missionaries

This work is rigorous. It demands strength and vitality. It demands mental sharpness and capacity. It demands faith, desire, and consecration. It demands clean hands and a pure heart.

The time has come when we must raise the standards of those who are called to serve as ambassadors of the Lord Jesus Christ to the world. We realize that this will disappoint some young men and women. It will disappoint their parents and even some bishops and stake presidents. But we feel it is imperative. We recently sent to you privileged information concerning eligibility of those called to full-time missionary service. I hope that you have received it and that you have read it carefully. I remind you that missionary work is not a rite of passage in the Church. It is a call extended by the President of the Church to those who are worthy and able to accomplish it.

In the dedicatory prayer for the Kirtland Temple, the Prophet Joseph solemnly requested to the Lord: “Put upon thy servants the testimony of the covenant, that when they go out and proclaim thy word they may seal up the law, and prepare the hearts of thy saints for all those judgments thou art about to send, in thy wrath, upon the inhabitants of the earth, because of their transgressions, that thy people may not faint in the day of trouble.” (D&C 109:38)

What a solemn and serious undertaking this work is. It demands that those who serve as missionaries be worthy in every respect. We simply cannot permit those who have not qualified themselves as to worthiness to go into the world to speak the glad tidings of the gospel.

I am confident that raising the bar on eligibility will cause our young people, particularly our young men, to practice self-discipline, to live above the low standards of the world, to avoid transgression and take the high road in all their activities. We will not knowingly send young men to reform them. If their lives need reforming, that must happen well before they go. That may take time. But not everyone needs to go at age 19.

Physical and Mental Health

Good physical and mental health is vital. A mission president recently sent home three of his missionaries with whom he had worked for months in an effort to help them.

[p.18] The first was a young man who had been hospitalized with a collapsed lung. It turned out that he had a history of lung problems, which only grew worse under the stress of missionary service.

The second was a young man who suffered from kidney failure. Investigation indicated that he had kidney problems before he came. He could not begin to keep up with the difficult work of a mission.

The third was a young woman who had a mental collapse. She became a most difficult problem for her companions, as well as the mission president and the attending physician. It turns out that she came from a family with a history of emotional problems of which the bishop and stake president were aware.

The mission president accepted each of these and worked with them as if they were his own sons and daughters, but while he was doing so, his leadership of the 180 other missionaries suffered.

The doctors with whom he worked were most solicitous in trying to do everything they possibly could to assist. But the fact of the matter is these missionaries could not stand the rigors of the work.

There are parents who say, “If only we can get Johnny on a mission, then the Lord will bless him with health.”

It seems not to work out that way. Rather, whatever ailment or physical or mental shortcoming a missionary has when he comes into the field only becomes aggravated under the stress of the work.

We simply must face up to the facts. We are spending millions of dollars on medical care and countless hours assisting those with problems that make it impossible for them to perform the work.

Now, we ask you brethren to be more selective in those you recommend. Let your young people know what will be expected of them if they are to serve missions. Let their parents know what will be expected of their sons and daughters. There are other areas where those with serious limitations may work and have a satisfying experience. And the Lord will bless them for what they are able to do.

Effective Missionaries

I recognize that the position we have taken will appear unreasonable and harsh to many parents, who will plead that their sons and daughters have the opportunity of missionary service. But, brethren, we feel that we must bring back into focus the real purpose of missionary work and the need for certain qualifications in order to accomplish that purpose. I hope that all concerned will realize that it is better not to go, than to go out and have to return in disappointment and with a sense of failure after a very short time. Brethren, may the Lord bless you with inspiration, with direction and guidance, with love for those for whom you are responsible, and with the courage to stand up for what you know to be right and reasonable. Following these guidelines may reduce the number of missionaries we have in the field. But it will increase the effectiveness of those who qualify to go.

Permit me to emphasize that we need missionaries, but they must be capable of doing the work. They must be spiritually sensitive to do that which is expected of them, which is essentially a spiritual work. They must be morally worthy in every respect, having kept themselves clean from the evils of the world. If there have been offenses, there must have been adequate repentance.

There should be an eagerness and a desire to serve the Lord as His ambassadors to the world. And there must be health and strength, both physical and mental, for the work is demanding, the hours are long, and the stress can be heavy.

We are not asking for perfection. The work of the Lord is done by ordinary people who work in an extraordinary way. The Lord magnifies those who put forth the effort. Nowhere is this more evident than in missionary service. We have all seen the miracle of it. We have experienced the miracle of it in a personal way. With small means the Lord accomplishes His marvelous work.

And so we must be very careful that we do not go to extremes, but we can and must be very careful concerning those we recommend, that they may be contributors and not problems. For those who should not go but wish to serve, let us find other places where they may make much-appreciated contributions.

I think that is all I need to say on that matter.

A Fourfold Endeavor

Now I wish to talk a little about some details, some “how-to’s” of missionary work. Missionary work is more than two young men giving a memorized presentation to investigators. It is more than baptizing. It is a fourfold endeavor that concerns the missionaries, yes, and also ward members, bishops, the ward mission leader, and the entire Church organization, This fourfold effort includes (1) finding investigators, (2) teaching by the Spirit, (3) baptizing worthy converts, and (4) strengthening new and less-active members.

Before missionaries can teach, they must find those willing to listen. They must be certain that those they teach have an understanding of the gospel and a willingness to accept and live by it. These investigators will be greatly assisted by a friend or friends, preferably individuals who have been through a similar experience in coming into the Church.

They must meet the qualifications set forth in section 20, verse 37 of the Doctrine and Covenants. When baptized, they must have Church service of some kind to which they are assigned. And they must be [p.19] nurtured and strengthened in the work until they are solid in the faith.

Finding investigators

Now, whose responsibility is it to find investigators for the missionaries to teach? It is the responsibility of everyone in the Church. The place to bring these elements together is the ward council meeting. Here will be present the ward mission leader. To this meeting may occasionally be invited the full-time missionaries. Missionary service will be on the agenda of each meeting.

The ward members should be encouraged to be aware of things taking place in the ward, such as births and deaths, sickness and various family problems. They should be aware of those who may be moving into the ward. They can offer help to these and extend an outreach in welcoming them.

Youth can befriend youth. Children can befriend other children. All this must be done with care and sensitivity. But it has been done and can be done. Whenever the ward has a special event, such as a breakfast on a national holiday, those who are not members of the Church should be invited to come and participate.

Let us teach our people to be good neighbors. Let us teach them never to be smug or arrogant. Let us teach them to shun any “holier than thou” attitude.

Let us cultivate within our people a constant awareness of opportunities to reach out to others. Let neighborliness, an outreach with love toward others, become the attitude of our people wherever they are across the entire world.

Where there is enthusiasm for converts, there will be results. Where the members have confidence in the missionaries, they will work to find investigators for them to teach.

Families should be sought for—fathers and mothers and children. We cannot build permanent strength in the Church without men who hold the priesthood.

Where an entire family comes in together, there will be unity in the home and a greater impetus to move forward together as active Latter-day Saints.

The missionaries may have to do some tracting to find investigators on their own, but referrals from Church members can and should be a principal source of investigators.

Every true convert who has come into this Church knows of the great blessings that have come with Church membership. With that should come desire to share the opportunities of Church membership with friends and others.

A greater enthusiasm for missionary work will strengthen the entire ward. There will be less of a spirit of criticism, less of complaining, a greater pride in the Church and its programs.

It will be a great day when our people not only pray for the missionaries throughout the world, but ask the Lord to help them to assist the missionaries who are laboring in their own ward.

Really, when all is said and done, the most difficult phase of missionary work is finding people to teach. Enthusiastic members of the Church, and particularly enthusiastic new converts, can be the greatest and best source of referrals.

Teaching by the Spirit

The question now rises as to how the missionaries shall teach those who are willing to listen. For many years now we have had a standard set of missionary lessons. Great good has come of this. The missionaries have never lacked for something to teach in a systematic way. But unfortunately this method, in all too many cases, has resulted in a memorized presentation, lacking in Spirit and in personal conviction.

The Lord has said in revelation, “Notwithstanding those things which are written, it always has been given to the elders of my church from the beginning, and ever shall be, to conduct all meetings as they are directed and guided by the Holy Spirit.” (D&C 46:2)

If this principle is observed, this principle which is repeated over and over in the revelations, there will come a new force into their teachings.

They should master the concepts of the lessons. But they should feel free to deviate from the established order, and to teach the concepts in their own words under the guiding influence of the Holy Spirit.

With reference to following the order of the lessons, may I give you an instance. A pair of missionaries were tracting in a European city. A woman answered the door. She had been crying and had difficulty holding back her tears. Forgetting all about the lessons, one of the missionaries said, “Madam, it is obvious that something is wrong. We are ministers of the gospel. Can we help you in any way?”

She replied, “Ministers are part of my problem. I need comfort and reassurance and not what ministers have told me.”

“May we ask what is your problem?”

“I have lost my baby I was told that he has gone to hell because he was not baptized.”

“May we come in and talk with you for a few moments?”

She invited them in. The elder took the Book of Mormon from his case. He turned to Moroni and read Mormon’s words concerning the innocence of little children. He bore his testimony solemnly concerning the truth of the scripture from which he was reading. He assured her that her baby was saved through the Atonement of Christ. Her eyes brightened. They talked together for a long time on the innocence of little children and the mercy of God in their behalf. That is all they talked about [p.20] on that occasion. But they had prayer together, in which the missionary pleaded with the Lord to comfort and bless this dear woman, whose burdens were so grievous. They said they would come back and speak with her further.

The end result was that she joined the Church and became a faithful and active member.

If missionaries will cultivate the Spirit of the Lord and live worthy of it, they will be guided to say those things and teach in such a way as to respond to the needs of those they teach. In very many cases their teaching will be strengthened if a member of the Church, particularly a convert who has come out of circumstances similar to those of the people they teach, can add a testimony and extend friendship.

Let me tell you about Eddie. He lived in Liverpool, England. Two missionaries met him on the street. He was intoxicated. He had recently passed through a very serious experience and was trying to drown his sorrow in drink.

They spoke with him. They asked if they might come by and see him when he was sober. He told them that they could.

They went to his home. He invited them in. They talked with him about his great loss and the sorrow which it had occasioned. They talked of the mercies of Christ and of the certainty of life after death. He responded. They took him to church and introduced him to the members. The members rallied around him, and he soon found himself with wonderful friends who understood his circumstances.

He was baptized. He was immediately given a minor responsibility in the ward. He continued in activity. He came to Salt Lake City to attend a general conference of the Church. I met and talked with him.

He now attends the Preston England Temple regularly. He has become a full-fledged and wonderful member of the Church.

Teach the doctrine, but let that teaching come from the heart of the missionary and not from a wooden presentation.

Let the missionaries shake loose from their memorized lessons. Let them speak with great conviction, prompted by the Spirit of the Lord. Let them do so with great earnestness.

Every morning before they leave to go out to work, missionaries should get on their knees and plead with the Lord to loosen their tongues and speak through them to the blessing of those they will be teaching. If they will do this, a new light will come into their lives. There will be greater enthusiasm for the work. They will come to know that in a very real sense, they are servants of the Lord speaking in His behalf. They will find a different response from those they teach. As they do so by the Spirit, their investigators will respond under the influence of the same Spirit.

If in this process there is a member present who can add his witness and testimony, and who will become a true friend thenceforth, investigators will experience a warmth of acceptance that they can count on thereafter. At the conclusion of each teaching session, the investigator should be left something to read. It may be designated chapters from the Book of Mormon. It may be other literature. But there should always be something for him to read and think about, to ponder and reflect on. This can then become an opening topic of discussion the next time they meet.

The Lord has said, “Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man.” (D&C 84:85)

This is the counsel of the Lord. It cannot be set aside with impunity. Following it will bring the promised result. Such teaching will become more challenging, more individualized, and more suitable to the needs of those who are being taught. This is the kind of teaching that will lead to a request for baptism.

Baptizing Worthy Converts

Now let’s talk about baptizing the worthy convert.

The Lord has made abundantly clear the qualifications for baptism. In the 37th verse of the 20th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, He has declared, “All those who humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end, and truly manifest by their works that they have received of the Spirit of Christ unto the remission of their sins, shall be received by baptism into his church.”

The Lord has set a very high standard. Those whom the missionaries feel are ready for baptism should have attended sacrament meeting. They should have met the bishop. They should have been introduced to members. They should have the friend of which we have spoken. They must have an understanding of the First Vision and must have developed faith in Christ, repented of the past, and made sufficient changes in their lives to qualify themselves to become members of the Church. They should have put off the old man and taken on the new as Paul declares (see Colossians 3:9-10). They should be living lives of moral worthiness, be familiar with and have accepted the Word of Wisdom, and have made a commitment to pay tithing. If they are not ready, then baptism should be postponed until they are ready.

The baptismal service should be a wonderful occasion. There should be prayer, the singing of hymns, [p.21] instruction concerning the nature of the ceremony An explanation may be made that the baptism by immersion which we use in the Church follows that used by John when he baptized the Savior. It represents death and burial and the resurrection into a new and more beautiful life.

Friends and family should be invited to attend. Members of the ward should be there to welcome new members into the Church. Other investigators should be invited to attend a baptism. This experience will remove some of their fears and misgivings. It should be a very sacred and impressive experience.

Converts should be confirmed in a sacrament meeting of the ward of which they will become members. This confirmation should take place as soon as reasonable following the baptism.

Strengthening New Members

Coming into the Church can be a somewhat traumatic experience. Old associations and familiar patterns of living are left behind. I have said many times that every convert needs three things—a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with the good word of God.

The friend of which we have spoken is very important. Each new convert needs someone who is always near of whom he can ask questions in confidence. Every convert needs a friend to steady him when doubts arise, as they inevitably will.

Every new member needs a responsibility Only as we serve do we grow. Faith is like the muscle of my arm. If it is used and exercised, it will grow strong. If it is put in a sling and left there, it will grow weak. Every new convert should be given some responsibility immediately It may be ever so small, but it must be important.

The story has been told again and again of the convert who was assigned by the bishop to pass out the songbooks each Sunday morning. He felt that it was absolutely necessary that he be at the meeting early to see that the books were in place. He felt that he was needed. The meetings could not go forward properly without his having met his assignment. As he so served, he grew in faith and one assignment led to another.

There must be nurturing with the good word of God. Bishops should see that every sacrament meeting is faith-building and informative concerning the gospel. Class leaders should recognize the presence of new members and see that they are taught effectively.

Converts should be encouraged to read the Book of Mormon and other Church literature.

Every convert is worth saving, I am convinced we do not need to suffer losses among those who come into the Church. If they are taught effectively, if they are guided in the proper way, if boys and men are ordained to the priesthood and participate in quorum activities, if women become involved in the Relief Society, if children are active in their organizations, then they will grow in faith and understanding. Every one of them needs attention while they are developing as strong members of the Church. They cannot be neglected. They must not be neglected. They are as the sheep of which the Savior spoke. They are entitled to every attention as they grow in understanding and love for the Church and its programs.

Unity in Saving Souls

Brethren, the mission of the Church is to save souls. It is to teach the gospel to those who are willing to listen wherever they may be. It is to baptize those who have proved themselves worthy. It is to strengthen and nurture them until they are able to stand on their feet and move forward with strength and enthusiasm. There is no greater work. There is no more important work. There is no more compelling work than this which the God of heaven has given us responsibility for accomplishing.

Now, my beloved brethren, we have participated in a great leadership meeting, a new undertaking in the history of this great work. We have spoken to the leadership of almost the entire Church throughout the world. The few whom we have not reached will be taken care of in a different manner.

What a remarkable thing this is. The Lord has made possible the technology by which we have reached you.

There will be another such meeting in June. Thus, we shall train the Church uniformly throughout the world.

We are all one Church, the Church of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. We should be performing our duty uniformly to bless the lives of all for whom we are responsible.

This is God’s holy work, restored to the earth in this last and final dispensation. He and His Beloved Son, the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ, appeared to the boy Joseph Smith and parted the curtains to open this, the dispensation of the fulness of times. The Book of Mormon among us as another testament of the Lord Jesus Christ. The priesthood with all its keys and powers has been restored. The Church is fully organized and carries the name of Him who stands at its head.

Glorious is this work. It will bless the life of every man, woman, boy, and girl who embraces it.

I leave you my testimony and witness. I leave you my love and blessing.

May heaven smile upon you as you go forward with your responsibilities. May you find great joy in your service. May you grow in strength and capacity. God bless you, my dearly beloved brethren, I humbly pray in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

June 21, 2003
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting

- President Boyd K. Packer: How to Confer the Priesthood: The Doctrine, the Principle, and the Practice

- Elder L. Tom Perry: Stake Administration

- Elder Robert D. Hales: The Calling and Responsibilities of a Bishop

- Elder Russell M. Nelson: How to Plan and Conduct Sacrament Meetings

- Elder Neal A. Maxwell: “What Manner of Men Ought [We] to Be?”

- Pres. Thomas S. Monson: “A New Spirit Will I Put Within You”

- Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley: Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve

President Boyd K. Packer
Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

How to Confer the Priesthood

The Doctrine, the Principle, and the Practice
[p.1]
The Doctrine

The fifth article of faith is “We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy [which is revelation], and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.”

My assignment is how to confer priesthood authority What I tell you is found in the scriptures and outlined in more detail in the Church Handbook of Instructions.[1]

The priesthood, “instituted [in heaven] from before the foundation of the world” (D&C 124:33), is sacred. “The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven” (D&C 121:36).

As authorized servants of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is the responsibility of every holder of the priesthood, all of you, to foster godliness in your life, in your home, and in your callings in the Church.

The “greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.

“Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.

“And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh” (D&C 84:19-21).

When the priesthood is solidly in place, everything else will fit together. The authority and power of the priesthood form the foundation of all that we do in the Church.

The Principle

All offices derive power and authority from the priesthood. Stakes, missions, wards, quorums, auxiliaries, meetings, councils—all depend on priesthood direction.

I will speak about both ordination and setting apart.

Those who hold the keys of authority approve an ordination in the priesthood or authorize a person to be set apart to serve.

In a stake or mission, the president is given priesthood keys. In a quorum, the president is given priesthood keys. In a ward, the bishop is given priesthood keys. Auxiliary presidents do not receive keys.

Choosing those to ordain or set apart

First, let me explain how to choose one to be ordained to an office in the priesthood or set apart to lead or to teach.

As a presidency or a bishopric, you counsel and pray, individually and together, about who should be called. The answer comes by revelation.

The scriptures teach, “You must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right” (D&C 9:8; italics added).

The priesthood must not be conferred upon a man or a boy who is unrepenting or unwilling to live by the covenants connected with it.

For both ordinations and settings apart, you interview to determine:

- Are they worthy of the call?

- Will they accept the call?

- If they are married, will their spouse support them?

- Are there family, work, or health problems which might interfere with their service?

Extending the call

A call is more than an invitation or a request. It is a call from the Lord through His chosen servant. Years ago, President Spencer W Kimball, then president of a stake in Arizona, had an experience with extending a calling. There was a vacancy in the president of the Young Men organization in the stake. President Kimball [p.2] left his desk at the bank, walked down the street a few doors into a business, and said, “Jack, how would you like to be president of the Young Men in the stake?”

Jack said, “Oh, Spencer, you don’t mean me.

He said, “Of course I do. You’re a young man, and you get along with young people. You’d make a very good president.”

Then there occurred what President Kimball thought was a very disagreeable conversation because Jack turned down the call. He went back to the bank and sat at his desk, smoldering over his failure. Then it came to him. He left his desk, went down the street—same door, same man—called him by his full name, and said, “Last Sunday the stake presidency met to consider a vacancy in the Young Men’s president. We prayed about it, talked about it. Finally, on our knees, we inquired about it and received the inspiration from the Lord that you should be called. As a servant of the Lord, I am here to deliver that call.”

Jack said, “Well, Spencer, if you’re going to put it that way.”

And he said, “I’m putting it that way.

Now it is more than just an invitation. It is a call from the Lord through His servant.

Sustaining

The Lord said, “It shall not be given to any one to go forth to preach my gospel, or to build up my church, except he be ordained by some one who has authority, and it is known to the church that he has authority"—that is why the sustaining takes place, so that it can be known to the Church that he has authority—"and has been regularly ordained by the heads of the church” (D&C 42:11).

In order that all may know in the Church who is leading, there must be a sustaining. The scriptures teach, “No person is to be ordained to any office in this church, where there is a regularly organized branch [or stake or ward] of the same, without the vote of that church” (D&C 20:65).

“All things must be done in order, and by common consent” (D&C 28:13; see also D&C 26:2), “by the voice of the church” (D&C 38:34, italics added; see also D&C 41:9).

Now, the procedure for sustaining: when a name is presented, a sustaining vote is taken by the uplifted hand. The officer then asks if there are any opposed. If someone votes in opposition, then a designated priesthood leader will meet with him or her in a private meeting afterward to determine if the dissent has merit.

Only in an emergency does an ordination to the Melchizedek Priesthood take place without sustaining or by sustaining only in a ward. And then the ordination is presented later for proper ratification.

Conferring priesthood authority

Now, about ordinations: an office in the priesthood, either Aaronic or Melchizedek Priesthood, is conferred by ordination.

The word ordain is used when an office in the priesthood is given. The offices in the Melchizedek Priesthood are elder (the Melchizedek Priesthood is conferred first), high priest, patriarch, Seventy, and Apostle.

The offices in the Aaronic Priesthood are deacon (the Aaronic Priesthood is conferred first), teacher, priest, and bishop (the bishop must be a high priest [see D&C 68:14-15, 19; 107:17, 69-71]).

One is ordained or set apart by the laying on of hands of one who either holds the keys or is delegated to do so. Since ancient times, authority has been conferred or blessings given by the laying on of hands (see Numbers 27:18, 22 23; Acts 6:5-6; Alma 6:1).

In this simple, dignified manner, we confirm new members of the Church and seal anointings in administering to the sick. It is the same when patriarchs give a blessing or a father gives a father’s blessing.

The priesthood is conferred only once. In the future, the priesthood holder can simply be ordained to another office. When a deacon is ordained, the Aaronic Priesthood is conferred upon him first; then he is ordained a deacon, an office in that priesthood. When an elder is ordained, the Melchizedek Priesthood is conferred upon him; then he is ordained an elder, an office in that priesthood.

All ordinations and settings apart must be by or under the direction of the presiding authorities. The priesthood can only be conferred by one who has priesthood authority and is authorized by one who holds the appropriate keys.

An ordination to an office in the priesthood is permanent and follows one ordained wherever he goes. Except for transgression, he is never released.

One set apart will eventually be released by the same authority by which he was called.

A high priest ordained as a bishop is also set apart to preside over a ward. He will be released from presiding over a ward, but his ordination as bishop remains. If he is called to preside over another ward, he need only to be set apart.

All ordained offices, except bishop and patriarch, are organized into quorums.

The rights and privileges of each priesthood office and the number in each quorum are explained in the scriptures and in the handbook.[2]

It is by setting apart that priesthood keys and authority are given to stake presidents, bishops, mission presidents, temple presidents, and quorum presidents.

[p.3] The words setting apart are used when members receive special responsibilities, such as an auxiliary presidency, or a teacher, or a missionary, or others, but they do not receive or have keys.

When someone is set apart to serve as a leader or teacher, there are boundaries such as a ward, branch, stake, district, quorum, or mission. A bishop is not a bishop outside of his ward, for instance.

The Practice

To participate in an ordination, one must have equal or higher priesthood authority than is to be given in the ordinance. For instance, an elder should not stand in the circle where a high priest is ordained or a man is set apart to an office requiring him to be a high priest. Only presiding authorities can set apart presidents with keys.

When one is to be ordained or set apart, the one officiating places his hands on his head. If there are two other brethren, they will place their hands on his head as well. The officiator would say the person’s full name and then express the authority by which he acts, the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood. And then he would give the office to him and pronounce a blessing.

Now, in case more brethren participate in the ordination, each one puts his right hand on the head of the one being ordained and his left hand on the shoulder of the brother to his left. In that way, the circle is complete. The ordination or setting apart then takes place—just a simple, dignified ceremony.

The support of family and friends is greatly appreciated. However, the number of men who stand in the circle should be limited to a few. Those who perform the ordinance or preside are the only ones required. All others merely provide support and sustain the spokesman. It is cumbersome and a burden if too many men participate. The practice of inviting large numbers of family friends, and leaders to assist in an ordination or setting apart is discouraged.

The individual who performs the ordination or setting apart, I repeat:

- Calls the person by his full name.

- States the authority by which he performs the ordinance ("by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood").

- Confers the priesthood, in the first instance of receiving the priesthood.

- Ordains to the office in that priesthood together with the rights, powers, and authority of that office.

- Gives a blessing as the Spirit directs.

- Closes always in the name of Jesus Christ.[3]

A record is kept of all priesthood ordinations and settings apart of leaders of stakes, wards, missions, and temples.

An ordination or a setting apart is an opportunity to pronounce a blessing. A blessing is not to give counsel or instruction. That is done afterward when one is taught his duties.

There is no precise wording required. One of the great blessings of the Church is the way the priesthood is organized, with very few ordinances that must be word perfect and precise. We need not, indeed should not, memorize the blessing. As the Spirit directs, we might bless one in his home and his family and his work. He can be blessed with discernment and wisdom and understanding, with health. The words that we say will come by inspiration. Each blessing then is unique and personal to the individual member.

An ordination or a setting apart need not be expanded into a formal meeting. It is not necessary to have prayers or testimonies or instruction every time someone is ordained or set apart. It can be done quietly and with dignity in the presence of those especially concerned.

One does not aspire to a call nor request or resent a release. Both a call and a release are directed by inspiration of our leaders.

Worthiness

How crucial it is that we be worthy Each must be absolutely faithful to his wife. Any attraction outside of marriage, however innocent, may be influenced by the adversary and lead straight to the bull’s-eye of disaster.

Carefully observe the Word of Wisdom, that your body and your mind may be the instrument for revelation that is required in these ordinances.

If there is anything that is unworthy about you, if you have pictures or films or printed materials at home or at work that are unworthy, destroy [p.4] them so that there will be no evil influence surrounding you.

If you have made a misstep so serious that it should have been confessed, and it was not, seek for the healing balm of confession and repentance and forgiveness.

It is in this manner that ordinary men exercise the authority and the power of the “priesthood ... after the holiest order of God” (D&C 84:18). Always we invoke these blessings in the name of Jesus Christ, whose Church this is. In this way, the unbroken chain of priesthood authority continues from generation to generation.

Remember, brethren! Remember! This is the Church of Jesus Christ. We have taken upon ourselves His name (see Moroni 4:3). We are commanded, “Whatsoever ye shall do, ye shall do it in my name” (3 Nephi 27:7).

I bear witness of the Lord and of the sacred priesthood power which is conferred upon us and gratefully thank the Lord that we may participate through His inspiration to move the Church forward. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. See Book 1: Stake Presidencies and Bishoprics (1998) and Book 2: Priesthood and Auxiliary Leaders (1998).

2. See D&C 20:38-47, 53-59, 70; 42:44; 46:2: 84:111; 107; see also Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, 161-62, 175-77.

3. See Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 1, 33; Book 2, 173; Family Guidebook (2001), 20-21; Branch Guidebook (2001), 12-13.

Elder L. Tom Perry
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Stake Administration
[p.5]
Priesthood Authority

One of the great blessings of the Restoration is to have the authority again to perform the ordinances that are binding in heaven as well as on earth. Without the authority of the priesthood, the Church itself could not have been restored, nor could it be governed by revelation.

Following the fifth article of faith which declares the restoration of the priesthood, is the sixth: “We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.”

My presentation is to cover the two organizational roles of pastor and teacher. A pastor is a priesthood leader, serving in a local Church unit. The pastors I have been assigned to speak on today are the stake president and those who serve with him in stake administration.

Sustaining Strength

“The word stake in the Church comes from the word stake, [meaning] a stick pounded in the ground. That word, as we use it, comes from the scriptures.

“The meaning of it goes back to the Old Testament when the Israelites, after being rescued from Egypt, were wandering in the desert. They built for themselves, under the direction of the Lord, a tabernacle. It was a prototype of a temple, and it was called the Tabernacle of the Testimony.

“It consisted of a building in which there were two rooms, the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies. … In [the Holy of Holiesj was the Ark of the Covenant, the breast plate, and the Urim and Thummim.

“When they moved from one place to another, they could dismantle the tabernacle and move it about with them. When they set it up again, they put the tent-like building up, then they put a wall around it to form an outer court. … In order to keep the building up and the wall up, they drove stakes into the ground. A stake was a supporting unit of their tabernacle or their temple.”[1]

In keeping with this symbolism, in areas where we have concentrations of Church membership with priesthood strength which sustain and uphold the restored Church, these organized units are called stakes.

The Stake Presidency

Stake presidents are called to preside over a stake by revelation, by one who has the authority from the President of the Church to confer the keys of presidency

Presiding over a stake is an awesome responsibility if the president assumes the burden all alone. However, the Lord has developed an organization that allows him to share these kinds of burdens. If he uses the organization properly, he can reach out to each one over whom he presides.

At the head of each stake there is a presidency of three Melchizedek Priesthood bearers—the president and two counselors. The stake president holds the keys to preside over his stake.

“These keys are the right to preside over and direct the Church within [his] jurisdiction.

“The President of the Church authorizes presidents of … stakes; bishops and branch presidents; and quorum presidents to hold the priesthood keys they need to preside. A person who serves in one of these positions holds the keys only until he is released. Counselors do not receive keys, but they do receive delegated authority by calling and assignment.”[2]

The Stake Clerk

In addition to counselors, the stake president selects a stake clerk and an executive secretary. I want to emphasize that both the stake clerk and the executive secretary are very important offices in the administration of the Church to assist the stake president in exercising the keys of his great assignment. Today I would like to give particular attention to the responsibilities of the stake clerk.

A stake clerk’s responsibility falls under four main categories:

1. He is the financial officer of the stake. He is responsible for all the receipts and disbursements in the stake, to see that they are properly taken care of.

2. He is responsible for the membership records—to see that they are kept up-to-date and that every member is properly recorded, and to see that all baptisms, confirmations, priesthood ordinances, and the sacred ordinances of the Church are properly recorded and that certificates are issued by the units of the stake.

3. He is responsible for the statistical records. He must be a careful record keeper. The records are only as good as the accuracy by which they are maintained.

4. He is responsible for the historical record. He supplies the organizational memory of the stake. He is the carryover officer who has the organizational memory that will help orient the new stake presidency to prepare to fulfill their important assignments.

One of the responsibilities of the stake clerk is to be a teacher and trainer. He should go out to the wards and teach and train the ward clerks in their duties and responsibilities.

Stake Priesthood Committees

In each stake there is an organization—a priesthood executive council, comprised of the stake presidency and high council—that forms two very important committees to assist the stake presidency:

1. The Melchizedek Priesthood committee, presided over by the stake president, with either counselor [p.6] in the stake presidency assigned as vice chairman.

2. The Aaronic Priesthood committee, presided over by the other counselor in the stake presidency. This committee, with the aid of the stake Young Men’s presidency, provides support for each bishopric with the Aaronic Priesthood in the ward.

In each ward is an elders quorum and a high priests group. The stake president is responsible to see that every man understands his duty:

“Wherefore, now let every man learn his duty, and to act in the office in which he is appointed, in all diligence” (D&C 107:99).

The stake president’s prime responsibility is to teach and train priesthood leaders so that they will understand their duty and act in the office to which they have been called. And please notice, the scripture reads, “in all diligence.” Now, the Lord has provided a way for the stake president to train diligently all these priesthood leaders. Through the Melchizedek Priesthood committee, he has teachers to whom he can delegate this responsibility for the training of priesthood quorums in their particular duties.

High Councilors

These teachers that carry the message out to the wards and the quorums in the stake are high councilors.

A high councilor must be a seasoned leader, worthy of holding a current temple recommend, a good teacher, and a capable administrator. The stake president has the right to hold him accountable to see that the quorums are properly functioning in the ward to which he has been assigned.

Presidents, be specific in the assignments that you give to your high councilors. They need to understand exactly what you expect them to accomplish as they go out to teach and train the Melchizedek Priesthood quorums of the Church.

Now, let me suggest some ways that high councilors can teach and train the leaders of the quorum to which they have been assigned.

There are three important functions in a quorum.

First, the quorum is a class. A quorum nourishes the members with the good word of God. High councilors, you are to observe to see that each quorum has a capable teacher assigned to teach the doctrines of the kingdom.

We have a great program in the Church, under the Sunday School presidency, called teacher improvement. This is coordinated by an individual who is a teaching resource to all the teachers in the ward. This teacher can train your quorum teachers to be more effective in their assignments and build a gospel foundation in the lives of the members of that particular quorum.

Second, a quorum is a brotherhood. See that each member of the quorum has a friend. I call your attention to what we taught you last January. Take an inventory of the quorum members. Then sit down with your quorum presidency. Using the inventory, divide the names into two lists: the active members, who are capable of taking leadership assignments, and the less active, who need to be helped in building a friendship relationship.

Then, from the list of active members of the quorum, the quorum presidency can develop the leadership necessary to reach out to every quorum member, including those who have lost the spirit of the quorum to which they belong.

Third, encourage the quorum to be a service organization. Quorums need to focus on proclaiming the gospel, perfecting the Saints, and redeeming the dead. They should focus on helping and strengthening each member of the quorum, including reactivating prospective elders and fellowshipping new converts.

High councilors, you are responsible to see that the quorum president or group leader understands his duty Help him get organized so he can carry out the important functions to which he has been called.

Effective Quorum Organization

Each active member of the quorum should have an opportunity to be given an assignment. One assignment that is surely available to all is home teaching. In organizing home teaching, quorum presidents should devise it so that the strong take one who is not so strong as a companion to help develop within them the confidence of their particular assignment. Be certain as you visit each ward that the prospective elders and the less active are divided according to the strength of the priesthood quorum or group. Look at the number of active elders and the number of high priests, and ensure that the families of prospective elders are assigned to the quorum or group that has the available companionships to carry out that responsibility.

Remember the duties of a home teacher:

“See that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking;

“And see that the church meet together often, and also see that all the members do their duty” (D&C 20:54-55).

Once again, we remind you of the last satellite broadcast. Teach your quorum leaders how to use an inventory list. From the list of total quorum members, make a second list of active members. You can count on these members to build your programs. Build and limit your programs based on the active strength you have in the quorum.

[p.7] Keep in mind that for the basic units we have basic materials. For mature units we have general Church materials. Again, we remind you that bigger is not necessarily better. Church units should grow only as fast as the size and maturity of the unit permits.

Remember the basics. President Hinckley has continued to remind us, “Do the best you can.” He did not say, “Do whatever you can” but emphasized, “Do your best.”

We realize that some quorums do not have enough active priesthood strength. You stake presidents, if this is true in your stake, discuss with your high council ways to reach out and bring into activity the less-active members of your quorum. Extend yourself, in priority order, to where you can get the best results with the leadership base you possess—"Do the best you can.”

You high councilors, remember to be certain that the quorums you are assigned to help teach and train are nourished with the good word of the gospel with a very effective class. Be certain that each member has a friend and is building a great brotherhood in the quorum. Be certain that each member has the opportunity to assist in quorum service.

Brethren, the organization is in place.

Nourishing Church Members

You stake presidents have the power to reach out to every member of your stake. You should work with the bishops in your stake to coordinate these efforts. See that you have active, functioning Melchizedek and Aaronic Priesthood committees in your stake, consisting of members of your high council. See that the high council is given direct responsibility to go out and teach and train quorums in how to function and provide support for the wards.

Brethren, if the right direction comes from the stake presidency, and if the training assignment is given specifically to the high council, you can build strong priesthood quorums that will touch the life of every member of your stake. Brethren, you have the responsibility you have counselors, stake clerks, executive secretaries, and a high council to assist you.

Now it is your duty to see that it happens.

May the Lord bless you in the great assignment you have been given. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. Boyd K. Packer, “The Twenty-Mark Note,” Brigham Young University–Idaho devotional, 12 Mar. 2002.

2. Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Priesthood and Auxiliary Leaders (1998), 161.

Elder Robert D. Hales
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The Calling and Responsibilities of a Bishop
[p.8]
Shepherds of the Flock

Brethren, our Savior Jesus Christ is the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep” (John 10:11).

Some years ago I went to a national championship and watched shepherds perform in competition. I learned an unforgettable lesson. The true shepherd does not run to and fro, chasing after the sheep. He walks among them and gains their trust. He teaches his sheepdogs and gives them assignments. Some will lead and some will be behind. He then leads his sheep and goes before them. Along the way he uses voice and hand signals to direct his trusty dogs. From his vantage point, he watches over the sheep and leads them where they need to go.

So it is with the true Shepherd: “The sheep hear his voice: and he calleth [them] by name, and leadeth them out” (John 10:3).

Bishops, you are the shepherds of the Lord’s flock. Knowing who you are is important. Now the question is what you are called to do.

Priesthood Keys

You are called, ordained, and set apart to watch over all who reside within the boundaries of your ward. To do that, you have been given keys to care for the temporal and spiritual welfare of the Saints, to help each member come unto Christ. These keys are real. I want you to understand that they are as real as the key I hold in my hand. But your keys are not physical keys, like this one; they are priesthood keys.

The priesthood keys you have been given pertain to your role as the presiding high priest, the president of the Aaronic Priesthood and the priests quorum, and a common judge in Israel.

Now, some bishops are not aware they hold these keys. They are like the Lamanites who were baptized with fire and … the Holy Ghost” and “knew it not” (3 Nephi 9:20).

When I meet these bishops, they are often overwhelmed and burdened down; they do not realize all the resources that the Lord has provided them. In addition to their priesthood keys, they have been given the power of the priesthood, the Holy Ghost, the gift of discernment, councils, and their bishopric counselors. Let me assure you, bishops, with these resources your service can be a joy and a blessing in your lives.

So how do you use these keys? How do you exercise them? Let me give you an example from my own life.

One day, President Kimball asked me to come to his office. I was a new General Authority. It was 1975. Because of unusual circumstances he was sitting with a married couple who was facing serious challenges in their marriage, with their children, and in their business.

When they finished telling their story, President Kimball turned and said, ‘This is Elder Hales. He has been called as an Assistant to the Twelve Apostles. I would like him to work with you. He will report back on the progress you are making.”

Can you see how President Kimball was acting as a shepherd? He was exercising his keys by giving me an assignment. He was using his resources.

[p.9] I took the assignment. I met with the family and their priesthood leaders. Prompted by the Spirit, I called upon others to assist. I worked with that family for about six months until their problems were resolved.

President Kimball held the keys to give me that assignment. My point is this, bishops: you hold the keys to do the same thing in your own wards as you give callings and assignments.

Of course, there are a few things only you can do, but they are just a few. For example, only you can:

- call and set apart presidents.

- interview youth annually.

- interview members receiving their own endowment and those who are planning to be married in the temple.

- counsel members on serious matters.

- perform civil marriages.

- administer Church discipline in the ward

- conduct tithing settlement.

You must spend your time exercising the keys that you have as they apply to these unique responsibilities. Everything else can be delegated and assigned to priesthood and auxiliary leaders working under your direction. And so you must learn to give them that direction and to trust them. You must understand the role you play in exercising your priesthood keys.

The Presiding High Priest

You are the presiding high priest in the ward. You direct the work of your elders quorum president and the high priests group leader.

Your stake president holds the keys to the Melchizedek Priesthood. With the high council, he is responsible to train these ward Melchizedek Priesthood leaders. But as the presiding high priest in the ward, you sit in council with them. You were called to listen, learn, and then give assignments.

In home teaching, you assign specific companions to the families that need them most. You call for reports. You follow up on assignments given. Always use your council meetings to do this, especially in missionary work, reactivation, and retention. Why? Every council member has been “given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby” (D&C 46:11-12).

A Shepherd of Youth

You are also president of the Aaronic Priesthood and the priests quorum. You watch over the Primary children, young men, and young women. How do you do that?

Recently we asked the youth, “What was the most significant thing that happened in your life last year?” Among the very top answers was “an interview with my bishop.” Bishops, you hold the key to interview and guide your youth, to help them through the decade of decision that lies before them. Get to know them, their names, their goals, their fears. They worry about the future. They look to you and wonder how you have accomplished so much in your life, how you got through school, found a job, married your wife, and established your family. You can help them. You can teach them to hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost—the Comforter—and find the confidence they need within.

My greatest joy with my own children and with every youth is to help them find their gifts and talents and discover who they really are. And then the light comes on, the light of the Spirit within them. They learn they are someone special, especially to the Lord.

As president of the Aaronic Priesthood, you not only help the youth, you help their parents. Involve parents; listen to them; learn from them how to help their children.

Along the way, the Spirit will show you how to bless their lives as well.

Sometimes it is hard for a father to talk with his children. You can be a catalyst. You can bring them together. Your priesthood keys will help you turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the children to their fathers. And that is the work of salvation.

So, bishops, do not underestimate who you are and what you can do. As a shepherd to families, you lead the youth on the path to the temple, a mission, and sealing for time and for all eternity.

A Common Judge in Israel

Now, you also are called to be a common judge in Israel. God has “appoint[ed] and ordain[ed you] to watch over the church” (D&C 46:27).

You have been given the gift of discernment to help you (see D&C 46:27). This gift will help you counsel members who have committed moral transgressions or other serious offenses. It will direct you where Church discipline is concerned. It will teach you how to be an effective shepherd—to discern those assignments that can be and should be given to others.

Overseeing Welfare

You also direct the welfare work of the ward. You are commanded to do this by “searching after the poor” (D&C 84:112). Sometimes those in need are temporally poor and need food and financial assistance. Sometimes they are poor in spiritual ways, having suffered injustices and even abuse.

Use the ward welfare committee to identify families and individuals in need. Counsel with your Relief Society president. Call on Melchizedek Priesthood leaders.

When assessing needs and identifying resources, first consider an individual’s own resources and then the [p.10] resources of the extended family Then personally review and sign each request for welfare assistance before it is submitted.

Safeguarding Funds

As a bishop, you have the responsibility to safeguard the sacred funds of the Church. May I share three important principles in protecting these funds?

First, be certain that you, your counselors, and your clerks pay a full tithe and offerings. Only those who honor the Lord’s law of finance can be trusted to handle His funds.

Second, honor the principle of companionship. There should always be two priesthood holders working side by side whenever funds are collected, counted, deposited, and dispensed.

Finally, do not leave funds unattended and unsecured. Where possible, use a bank with a 24-hour deposit box. With your priesthood companion, deposit funds on the same day they are collected, counted, and recorded.

Brethren, these principles are not only meant to protect the funds of the Church. I know by sad experience that when a person mishandles the Lord’s resources, he risks losing his place in the kingdom. He may jeopardize his own faith and even weaken the faith of generations to come.

Having served earlier as the Presiding Bishop of the Church for nearly 10 years, I can say that there was never a mishandling of funds where these three principles were taught, applied, and lived faithfully.

Teaching Members

Remember, bishops, in everything you do you are teachers. Don’t worry if you do not consider yourself a teacher; the Spirit can help you to become one, for the Spirit is given “by the prayer of faith” (D&C 42:14). As you follow its holy promptings, you will be “apt to teach” (1 Timothy 3:2).

Teach especially in sacrament meetings, as a father teaches his family. In all your meetings, remember to feed the sheep. It is not enough just to give well-prepared talks and lessons. You must nourish—spiritually nourish—the members over whom you have responsibility Build their testimonies, instill the Spirit of the Lord in them and strengthen their commitment to be faithful to gospel principles.

Then, once a year, teach families in tithing settlement about the law of tithing. Bear your testimony, express your love, and join with them in prayer when appropriate.

Teaching families to be spiritually and temporally self-sufficient is the focus of a bishop’s work. For when families take care of themselves, the entire flock is strengthened and protected.

Strengthening Families

Now, a word about strengthening families. Each of us must begin with our own family One of the most important commandments for a bishop is found in Ephesians 5:25:

“Husbands, love your wives.” A real bishop will do in his own home what he is asking his ward priesthood leaders to do. He will go home from this meeting and sit down with his wife and ask her a very simple question: “Sweetheart, how can I be a better father and a better companion?” And then he will take the next half hour to hear what she has to say.

Listen with your heart, and make the necessary adjustments in your own life. Then you will be the caring shepherd in your own home.

You see, brethren, we must lay down our lives for our wives and our families just as the Savior laid down His life for the Church and for each of us. Then we can represent Him. Then we can be more like Him.

You may be thinking, “Elder Hales, I don’t have time to do everything.”

Let me share with you the best advice I was ever given on the subject.

- Generally, do not spend more than two nights a week away from your home on your calling—and one of those evenings should be spent visiting in the homes of the members.

- Tell your family in advance when you will be home, and keep your word no matter what—so that your car will drive into the driveway at the time you have said you would be there; so that Mother can say to the children, “Father will be home at a particular time,” and they will know you will be there.

- Spend time each week with your wife and with each of your children.

Begin there. I promise if you will put your wife and your family first, you will not only be a better husband and father, you will become a better bishop.

Above all, remember, oh, remember, your ward is a collection of families. The work of salvation goes forward with fathers and mothers leading their children, assisted by their bishop. That is why the most important thing you can accomplish is to help your families to the temple. And you hold the keys to do it.

Temple Blessings

Some years before the Salt Lake Temple was dedicated, President Wilford Woodruff had a dream. He saw many people milling about outside the temple. They were unhappy because they could not get into the temple. In that dream, President Brigham Young came to President [p.11] Woodruff. He gave him the keys to the temple.

This key which I hold is an original key to the gates of the Salt Lake Temple.

Brigham Young told President Woodruff to “open the door and let the people in.”[1]

This key that I have in my hand is symbolic of the keys which we hold as bishops to unlock that marvelous gate of the temple. Remember, bishops, you hold those priesthood keys.

Use them as the presiding high priest, as a common judge in Israel, and as the president of the Aaronic Priesthood. Use them to direct the priesthood and auxiliary leaders in your ward. Use them to open the door to all the blessings of the Lord’s true Church—and then let the people into the temple.

I bear witness that our Savior stands ready to welcome us all. He knows His sheep. They know His voice. And if you, the bishops of the Church, are faithful, His voice will be heard through you.

It does not matter how much experience you have had. The Church grows from generation to generation. Some of you stand on the shoulders of your boyhood priesthood leaders. How blessed you are!

Some of you are pioneers—your shoulders will carry the next generation. It will be you who will be remembered and blessed in the years to come.

We love you. We thank you. We pray for you. And we know—yes, we know—that this is the divine work of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and that He will make you equal to the mantle you bear. He will bless your homes, strengthen your children, and increase the love between you and your wife.

I testify that He is the Shepherd who gave His life for us. He is leading His Church. We are His flock, for He is the Good Shepherd, even “the Shepherd and Bishop of [our] souls” (1 Peter 2:25). I so pray and testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Note

1. Loren C. Dunn, “The Temple is the Heart of Sacred Work,” Church News, 6 Feb. 1993, 12.

Elder Russell M. Nelson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

How to Plan and Conduct Sacrament Meetings
[p.12]
Doctrinal Foundation

Thank you, brethren, for your devotion to the Lord and to His sacred work. I am humbly grateful to be with you. My teaching on sacrament meetings will be addressed particularly to you bishops and branch presidents and your counselors.

Many of you may be new in your assignment and somewhat apprehensive. Please do not be concerned. Not only will the people be served, but your families will be blessed because of your commitment to the Lord and to His Church.

Bishoprics and branch presidencies have many responsibilities that can be delegated. But you cannot delegate responsibility for sacrament meetings. Generally, you preside and are thus responsible for both the spirit and the content of these meetings.

This is the one ward or branch meeting that we attend as a family—the basic unit of the Church. Teach your family and members to arrive well before sacrament meeting begins. Teach them that we attend as the Lord commanded, to receive the sacrament and renew our covenants. He instituted the sacrament to remind us of His Atonement.

As a final and specially prepared Passover supper was ending, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to His Apostles, saying, “Take, eat” (Matthew 26:26). “This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me” (Luke 22:19). Then He took the cup, said a blessing of thanks, and passed it to those gathered about Him, saying, “This cup is the new testament in my blood” (Luke 22:20), “which is shed.., for the remission of sins” (Matthew 26:28). “This do … in remembrance of me. For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do jproclaim] the Lord’s death” (1 Corinthians 11:25-26). In this way, He linked the sacrament to His impending Crucifixion.

God had declared, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). Then the Son of God voluntarily laid down His life to complete the will of His Father. Thus, immortality became a reality and eternal life a possibility for all who would ever live upon the earth. We commemorate His Atonement in a very personal way We bring a broken heart and a contrite spirit to our sacrament meeting. It is the highlight of our Sabbath day observance (see D&C 59:8-13).

The sacramental prayers have been revealed by the Lord (see Moroni 4:3; 5:2; D&C 20:77, 79). These prayers contain covenants and a promise. We covenant to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ and keep His commandments. We eat the broken bread in remembrance of His body We drink the water in remembrance of His blood that was shed for us. And we witness that we will always remember Him. The promise: we will always have His Spirit to be with us. What a blessing!

Planning Sacrament Meeting

With these doctrines in mind, brethren, plan your sacrament meetings thoughtfully Keep the purpose in mind: to focus upon the Lord and teach of His Atonement, His example, and the doctrines of the gospel.

Invitations to speak should be extended well in advance and [p.13] include a clear description of the topic assigned and time allotted, along with an offer to help.

Let those who pray include members who are not often called upon. Avoid patterns of prayers given by husband and wife in the same meeting. This conveys an unintentional message of exclusion to those who are single. And you may want to caution those invited to pray not to give a sermon.

Departing missionaries may be given an opportunity to speak in a sacrament meeting. Their family members and friends are not invited to speak. Two or more departing missionaries may speak in the same service.

Returning missionaries who have served honorably should be invited to speak in a sacrament meeting and be given time to share spiritual experiences and bear testimony, sacrament meetings afford an opportunity for youth to speak briefly on assigned gospel subjects. At other times high councilors will be assigned by the stake president to speak.

Consider calling members to serve as greeters and ushers. They can welcome worshipers and seat them comfortably, while holding a few rear and aisle seats for those with special needs.

Audiovisual materials such as videocassettes and transparencies should not be used in a sacrament meeting.

Occasionally members may be unable to attend because of illness. You may assign priesthood holders to administer the sacrament to them where they are confined.

A typical sacrament meeting will include prelude music; a welcome and acknowledgment of the presiding authority and representative from the high council, if assigned; and an opening hymn and prayer.

After the prayer, ward business is conducted, such as releasing and sustaining of ward officers and teachers; recognizing children who advance from Primary, members called on missions or other assignments, and the attainments of young men and young women; and presenting the names of brethren to receive or advance in the Aaronic Priesthood and the names of new ward members.

Following the ward business, the meeting continues with the confirmation of new members, a sacrament hymn and the administration of the sacrament, gospel messages and optional additional music, a closing hymn and prayer, and postlude music.

Those to be released and sustained do not need to be presented individually They may be proposed as groups: first those to be released; then those to be sustained in the priesthood and those to be sustained for callings in the auxiliaries.

Brethren, please ensure that these meetings begin and end on time and are not overprogrammed. You need not hold a prayer meeting before sacrament meeting. You and others invited to participate should be seated at least five minutes before the meeting begins so you can he spiritually prepared for a worshipful experience.

During that quiet interval, prelude music is subdued. This is not a time for conversation or transmission of messages Teach your people to respect their and your own period of prayerful meditation as you prepare spiritually for the sacrament.

Music

Brethren, teach your music director that the hymns of the Church are the basic music for worship services and the standard for congregational singing. Other appropriate selections may be used for prelude and postlude [p.14] music, choir music, and special musical selections. Opening and closing hymns are usually sung by the congregation. The sacrament hymn is always sung by the congregation.

Ideally, you would have a choir in your unit, with an invitation to sing periodically. A choir can bless lives. Sister Nelson and I have fond memories of our participation years ago in the choir of our small branch in Minneapolis, Minnesota. When we and the others came forward to sing, there were more of us in the choir than there were members remaining in the congregation.

Pianos, organs, or their electronic equivalents are the standard for use in Church meetings. If other instruments are used, their use should be in keeping with the spirit of the meeting. Instruments with a loud or less worshipful sound, such as most brass and percussion, are not appropriate for sacrament meeting. If a piano, organ, or accompanist is not available, appropriate recordings may be used for accompaniment.

The song of the righteous is a prayer unto the Lord (see D&C 25:12). Some members seem reluctant to sing, perhaps because of fear. Help them to forget themselves and sing as an opportunity to praise their Creator prayerfully Music in sacrament meeting is for worship, not for performance.

Brethren, we depend upon you. Please do not let our sacred music slip away from us, nor allow secular music to replace it.

Conducting Sacrament Meeting

You dear brethren have responsibility not only to plan these meetings but to conduct them as well. Some in your congregation are praying for delicate promptings and delicate communication from heaven. You can help them by establishing a spirit of reverence. Reverence invites revelation.

In conducting the meeting, extend a cordial greeting. Detailed announcements are more appropriately handled some other time.

Because we invite all to come unto Christ, friends and neighbors are always welcome, but not expected to take the sacrament. However, it is not forbidden. They choose for themselves. We hope that newcomers among us will always be made to feel wanted and comfortable. Little children, as sinless beneficiaries of the Lord’s Atonement, may partake of the sacrament as they prepare for covenants that they will make later in life.

Our meetings are always to be conducted as directed by the Spirit (see D&C 46:2). Occasionally something unexpected may arise that you may wish to clarify. Please respond to such promptings and make corrections, if needed. Otherwise, no additional commentary is given after the final speaker has spoken.

Administration of the Sacrament

Bishoprics and branch presidencies preside over the Aaronic Priesthood in wards and branches. You and advisers to your priesthood quorums will take every precaution to see that the sacrament is prepared in advance of the meeting and that the passing of the sacrament has been thoroughly planned.

Those who administer the sacrament are to look their best and be dressed appropriately White shirts not only look nice, but they are a gentle reminder of other sacred rites, such as baptismal and temple ordinances, at which white clothing is also worn.

You may designate someone to help the deacons know who receives the sacrament first as the presiding authority

Sacramental prayers are to be offered understandably because he who prays is giving voice to covenants that others are making. Cleanliness and purity of heart are expected of those privileged to bless the sacrament.

Fast and Testimony Meetings

Fast and testimony meetings are held once a month, usually the first Sunday. Generally, babies are blessed on that day, After the sacrament, the conducting brother bears a brief testimony. He then invites members to bear brief, heartfelt testimonies of the Savior, His teachings, and the Restoration.

Parents and teachers should help children learn what a testimony is and when it is appropriate for them to express it. Younger children should learn to share their testimonies at home or in Primary until they are old enough to bear an appropriate testimony unaided in fast and testimony meeting.

Personal Participation

Each member of the Church bears responsibility for the spiritual enrichment that can come from a sacrament meeting. Each should sing with a grateful heart and respond with an audible “amen” at the conclusion of a prayer or a testimony,

We personally ponder the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We reflect upon the significance of His suffering at Gethsemane and His Crucifixion on Calvary. At this time each of us is to “examine himself” (1 Corinthians 11:28) and reflect upon personal covenants made with the Lord. At this time we meditate upon the sacred things of God.

Gratefully, I thank the Lord for the sacrament meeting and all that it has meant in my life. It has repeatedly rekindled my faith and allowed me to renew my covenants on a weekly basis, helping Sister Nelson and me [p.15] to live and rear our family in the glorious light of the gospel.

Brethren, I testify that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that this is His Church, restored in these latter days to fulfill its divine destiny I pray for the Lord’s blessings to be upon each of you, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

A Typical Sacrament Meeting

Prelude music

Welcome and an acknowledgement of the presiding authority and representative from the high council, if assigned

Opening hymn and prayer

Ward business:

Releasing and sustaining ward officers and teachers

Recognizing

- children who advance from Primary,

- members called on missions or other assignments,

- attainments of young men and young women

Presenting

- brethren to receive or advance in the Aaronic Priesthood

- new ward members

Confirmation of new members

Sacrament hymn and administration of the sacrament

Gospel messages and optional additional music

Closing hymn and prayer

Postlude music

Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

"What Manner of Men Ought We to Be?"

(3 Nephi 27:27)
[p.15]
Gratitude for Those Who Serve

Brethren, I desire to praise you, to counsel you, and finally to remind you of a very precious promise that each of us has received.

First, may I thank you genuinely for your service as priesthood leaders. Sometimes you are going to be anxious about whether you are adequate or not, but you are probably doing better than you think. We commend you for your service.

Would you please accept our gratitude likewise for the way in which you serve Church members, including those who are quiet, second-mile members of the Church, whose deeds are often known only to you and the Lord. These memhers are not high profile; they are meek and lowly. And these Church members, often unsung, need to be appreciated by each of us. As these Church members go so steadily and effectively about their labors, we should be more mindful of them than we sometimes are.

Recently I was musing aloud to President Packer ahout these wonderful, meek, and lowly members of the Church and said to him, “My admiration for them is such that in the next world, if they need to have their white robes taken out to be dry-cleaned, I would expect to be going around to pick them up.” And he said, quick as a flash, “And I’ll be doing the dry cleaning.” Please, let us bear in mind these faithful, meek, and lowly members among the flocks that you tend so well.

Becoming a “Man of Christ”

Now in that context of commendation, some counsel. Anciently, the resurrected Savior asked of priesthood leaders, and He did it quite searchingly, “What manner of men ought ye to be?” Jesus then prescribed that we should be “even as [He] is” (3 Nephi 27:27).

So we should be striving, attribute by attribute, to become more and more like Him, including developing [p.16] the spiritual manners which accompany living “after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27).

So, for us, putting off the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19) and becoming instead a “man of Christ” (Helaman 3:29) does not occur automatically; it occurs “in [the] process of time” (Moses 7:2 1). So whether you are quietly exemplifying for your families or your Church flocks, there is no substitute for the eloquence of example.

The suggestions which now follow apply in every culture, in every economic situation. Some of these will focus on us as husbands and fathers some will focus on us in our callings, and some will focus on both.

Brethren, the time remaining in your callings is limited. The clock is running. But you will never be released as a father or a husband. These are eternal callings, and they do not change when you move.

Personal Preparation

So, may I speak about personal preparation?

Your first duty is to obtain and retain the witness of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ (see D&C 46:13- 14). When we know, those whom we serve will know that we know. And that is incredibly important. Furthermore, that member of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost, prompts us as His shepherds.

Now, these promptings, I’ve found as I’m sure you have, are not always convenient; they are often very demanding. And sometimes the challenges that we face are almost overwhelming. When we feel overcome, He who overcame the world will help us (see John 16:33).

When you are exhausted, feast on the inexhaustihle gospel. You will never plumb its depths or measure all its metes and bounds. So as you feast on the scriptures, you will be renewed even when you are exhausted. Your families see you, as will your fellow-servants in the Church, when you are tired. We cannot hide the fatigue, so let them also see your resilience, which is connected with the promise that I will mention later.

Your children will one day leave your nest, but their love of the scriptures is portable, and the scriptures are portable. Let them carry, in addition to the scriptures, a memory of hearing your voice as patriarch, father, priesthood leader, as you read the scriptures aloud and as you liken the scriptures to yourself (see 1 Nephi 19:23). They will remember long after they have left the nest.

As President Packer indicated earlier, let us serve with clean hands and pure hearts. We have to shun pornography We have to also avoid questionable business practices. Anything that would diminish us spiritually must be shunned.

Should you have any unresolved shortcomings yourself, go to the appropriate priesthood leader. We do not expect each other to be perfect in the kingdom, brethren, but we do not want our leaders swamped in self-pity. Self-pity makes us vulnerable.

Life and its events may bring to you your own allotment of adversity. This has to do with the manner of men that we ought to be. Accept adversity without becoming angry or bitter, and by so doing you will have testified in a unique and lasting way!

I think of young Melissa Howes and how she refused to become angry with God as her father, at age 43, approached death by cancer. During a family prayer just before her father died, Melissa said, according to her mother, “Heavenly Father, bless my daddy, and if you need him more than us, you can have him. We want him, but Thy will be done. And please help us not to be mad at you.”

Hanging on my office wall is a paper doll from Melissa to remind me of her prayer and of how she avoided becoming angry.

Family Responsibilities

Now as to our family responsibilities—

Since, as we all know, no other success can compensate for chronic failures in the family, inadequate leadership at home—chronically inadequate leadership—will sooner or later diminish our effectiveness in Church leadership.

We recognize you only have so many disposable hours. Please pace yourselves, doing things “in wisdom and order” (Mosiah 4:27; see also D&C 10:4). Let some of your prime time be given to your prime responsibilities—your wife and family! Otherwise, brethren, family gets only the leftovers. Besides, however good a day at work, it cannot compensate for a bad day at home.

Brethren, love your children’s mother. In an unsettled world, that special relationship simply must be solid and settled. Likewise, let your wife and children hear you pray over them by name in your family prayers.

Please give deserved and specific praise to your wife, your children, and the members of your flocks and quorums. The world puts people down, but you can lift them up, including by giving father’s blessings to your children.

[p.17] My father was a shy and reluctant but wonderful man, and I had asked him for a father’s blessing for many years. And he just felt so shy and reluctant that it didn’t occur until later in my life. Yet in that blessing, my father anticipated my major illness by 20 years. And he used these words in blessing me: that I would have the “strength to bear the burdens which may come upon [me] in physical ways … that [I] may bear [them] as [Paul] did, without complaint.” I am so grateful that a shy but sweet father gave me that father’s blessing so many years ago. I still strive to measure up to it.

Our families experience our imperfections all the time. They see our shortfalls. Yet if they can see our spintual strivings, they will with the breath of kindness blow the chaff away.

Not only during family home evenings but also during family meals, have some relaxed and low-key gospel conversations, where, in the words of scripture, we “talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ … that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26). A good leader is always a good listener, especially at home.

Dignity

Next, brethren, as called agents of the Lord—

Since you and I are preparing to live in a celestial culture, whatever exists in our temporary, local cultures which conflicts with the gospel and its standards must simply fall away like so much old scaffolding. The fleeting fashions of the world will, ere long, become obsolete anyway (see 1 Corinthians 7:31). Meanwhile, we should not heed them.

Maintain your dignity and your grooming, even if you are in modest circumstances. In today’s world, for instance, Church leaders are often among the few examples of appropriate grooming. Your appearance and your presence are your statements to others about how you see yourself and your callings and how you honor those who called you and sustain them.

We usually do not think of sustaining those who have called us to a position. We need to sustain them. It was the Sunday after he had been sustained as a Counselor in the First Presidency that President Marion G. Romney spoke in our ward, and at the pulpit he said, “I have always sustained the President of the Church, and I can sustain him even when he calls me as one of his Counselors.” We have solemn obligations to sustain those who have called us.

Your spiritual dignity includes keeping confidences. The Lord, the Church member that you counsel, and you really constitute all those who have a need to know certain things. And that dignity, that confidentiality, simply must be maintained.

Let members and your family not only see you going to the temple, which reminds us what manner of men and women we ought to be, but let them also see how what is experienced there passes through you to improve you.

Serving and Leading

Now, brethren, if we will do these and like things day by day, we will become the “manner of men” desired by Jesus. Others will see what we are but also what we are striving to become. They will see that we have truly taken upon us Christ s yoke and are humbly serving others (see Matthew 11:29).

Some years ago I was on an assignment with, then, Elder Howard Hunter in Cairo. We shared a hotel room and after a long, dusty day were resting up before the evening meetings. I asked if I could stretch out and nap a bit, and, of course, he said, “Please do.” And then I awoke prematurely and found President Howard Hunter shining my shoes.

We are to be leader-servants and to bear in mind who we really are. It will be unmistakably conveyed. It will be indelibly imprinted upon the minds and the hearts of others. Granted, our love may not always be reciprocated, or even appreciated, but love is never wasted.

The Promise for Faithful Leaders

Now, finally, to the reminder of the promise given to you and to me and to all the faithful brethren—

That promise is, as you know, that the Lord will renew you in body. This is no small thing for those who seek to serve Him with unwearyingness (see D&C 84:33; Helaman 10:4-5).

During these blessed times of renewal, there will be moments, brethren, when the Spirit will wash over you like surf—to refresh you, to reassure you, and sometimes to brace you. The Holy Ghost will also let you know personally that the overseeing Lord of the universe knows and loves you personally. He has known you for such a long, long time. He is in the details of your lives. He is mindful, as the scriptures say, of His people in every nation, and surely He is likewise mindful of His priesthood leaders in every nation (see Alma 26:37).

After all, brethren, all those we love and serve are God’s children!

I so testify in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen!

President Thomas S. Monson
First Counselor in the First Presidency

“A New Spirit Will I Put within You”

(Ezekiel 36:26)
[p.18]
Taking Specific Steps

I commend each of the speakers from whom we have heard. My memory goes back to a previous period when similar topics were presented by members of the Quorum of the Twelve to what was then called the general priesthood board meeting and were subsequently carried to priesthood leadership meetings in stake conference sessions.

At that time the Church was smaller—both numerically and geographically. How very grateful we are to benefit from modern technology, which provides instant worldwide communication.

When President Hinckley gave me the assignment to address you today, he directed that I speak as the Spirit of the Lord prompted me. With this preamble, I shall confine my remarks largely to ward and stake administration, interspersed with personal experiences from my own callings.

In 1959, at the time I presided over the Canadian Mission, Elder ElRay L. Christiansen, a General Authority, visited our mission. For 10 days we traveled together throughout Ontario and Quebec, where we met in member district conferences and missionary zone conferences, and at the conclusion of the tour we met with the leaders of member districts which soon would be combined to form a stake of Zion—even the Toronto Stake, which became the 300th stake of the Church.

Elder Christiansen, an excellent teacher, related a most significant experience from the time he was newly called as a stake president. He said, “When I was called as the president of the East Cache Stake in Logan, Utah, my counselors and I reviewed what would be the greatest need of our stake membership. At length we agreed that the principle most needed was spirituality. We appreciated the truth found in the observation: When one deals in generalities, he will rarely have a success; but when he deals in specifics, he will rarely have a failure. We eventually set forth a four-step plan to achieve our overall objective of increasing spirituality.”

The four-step plan of President Christiansen and his counselors was refined in an excellent fashion. Step one: We shall increase the spirituality of the membership of the East Cache Stake by every family having family prayer.” Step two: “We shall increase the spirituality of the membership of the East Cache Stake by every member attending sacrament meeting weekly.” Step three: “We shall increase the spirituality of the membership of the East Cache Stake by each member paying an honest tithing.” Step four: “We shall increase the spirituality of the membership of the East Cache Stake by each member honoring the Sabbath day and keeping it holy.” Each was the theme for a specific period, with emphasis given regularly.

The result was that each of the specific objectives was attained. The spirituality of the stake membership literally soared.

Effort on the Ward Level

Today wards and stakes vary significantly in maturity, history, and priesthood strength. Each can improve its performance with specific effort.

I was called to serve as bishop of the Sixth-Seventh Ward in Salt Lake City in May of 1950. This ward was an amalgamation of the Sixth Ward and the Seventh Ward, which were among the original 19 wards in Salt Lake. Industrialization had decimated the number of family dwellings, which occasioned the combination. At the time I was called, the membership of the ward was a little over 1,000 members. These were comprised of perhaps 25 percent pioneer families such as mine, 25 percent transient [p.19] families, and the remaining 50 percent somewhere in between.

As a new bishopric, our first objective was to provide an assignment to each member of the ward. To help achieve this goal, we printed a small pamphlet, very brief, which related the pioneer history of the ward, the friendly nature of its membership, and the need for all to serve.

How?

First, a dignified call preceded by earnest prayer; second, an explanation concerning what was expected of the person being called; and, third, the presentation of the little pamphlet, which contained fundamentals for successful teaching, such as:

- A personality filled with religious quality.

- A genuine interest in people.

- A knowledge of the gospel.

- A wholesome attitude.

- A utilization of good teaching methods.

The pamphlet also contained “8 Points of Leadership” by Elder John A. Widtsoe, a former member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

- The mark of faith

- The mark of love

- The mark of understanding

- The mark of industry

- The mark of self-effacement

- The mark of obedience

- The mark of sincerity

- The mark of prayer[1]

Explained to the newly called was the specific help which would be provided. The teacher improvement course was explained. Help from the auxiliary organization presidency was assured. The fact that the ward had a significant number of relatively transient members was not considered a deterrent at all. Rather, this provided an ideal opportunity to reach and teach more of our Heavenly Father’s childlren. What a privilege!

Working with Youth

With regard to the Aaronic Priesthood and young women of comparable age, we simply determined that as a bishopric we would lend every effort to ensure that no boy, no girl was lost. For example, I turned to my second counselor with the plea, “Your assignment, Brother Hemingway, pertains to the deacons and those who should be deacons. Pray about it, and then, with the help of the adviser to the deacons and the deacons quorum presidency, go to work to ensure that each deacon is ready to be ordained a teacher at age 14.”

I then turned to my first counselor, Brother Cox, and repeated the same direct but lovingly expressed charge to pray about it and then, with the adviser to the teachers and the teachers quorum presidency, to see to it that each teacher would be ready to be ordained a priest at age 16.

I then declared that I would do the same with regard to the priests quorum.

No effort was to be spared. Genuine love and a sense of duty were to guide our efforts.

I wish I could say that we succeeded totally, but I can declare that the result bordered on the miraculous. One example was Richard Casto, a priest.

One Sunday morning I observed that Richard was missing from the quorum meeting. I left the quorum in the care of the adviser and visited Richard’s home. His mother said he was working at the West Temple Garage. I drove to the garage in search of Richard. I looked everywhere but could not find him. Suddenly I had the inspiration to gaze down into an old-fashioned grease pit situated at the side of the station. From the darkness I could see two shining eyes. Then I heard Richard say, “You found me, Bishop! You found me. I’ll come up.” He rarely missed another priesthood meeting.

The family moved to a nearby stake. Time passed, and I received a phone call informing me that Richard was responding to a mission call to Mexico. I was invited to speak at the sacrament meeting prior to his leaving to the mission field.

When Richard responded, he mentioned that the turning point in his determination to fill a mission came one Sunday morning—not in the chapel, but as he gazed up from the depths of a dark grease pit and found his quorum president’s outstretched hand.

Through the years I received occasional progress reports, always signed, “the boy in the grease pit,” telling of his testimony, his family, and his faithful service in the Church, including his own service as a bishop.

Today Richard Casto is once again serving as a bishop.

Guidance from the Scriptures

At our ward priesthood committee meetings and our ward council meetings, we usually began with a pertinent scripture, just to focus our thinking on our duty to rescue. I recall a few of those scriptures; you are familiar with them:

From Doctrine and Covenants 64:33-34: “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.”

Again, from Doctrine and Covenants 84:106: “And if any man among you be strong in the Spirit, let him take with him him that is weak, that he may be edified in all meekness, that he may become strong also.” That is the key to home teaching.

[p.20] Another, from Doctrine and Covenants 76:5-6, my favorite: “I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end. Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.”

And finally, from Doctrine and Covenants 88:78, a favorite of President Packer: “Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you.”

Your Time to Serve

Brethren, this is your time to serve. Today stake presidents do not serve for 20 to 30 years, as they did at an earlier period. Bishops do not serve for 34 years, as did Bishop William Thorn of the ward where I presided. When I served as a ward clerk, I searched the Church microfilm records of that ward and learned that the First Presidency once sent Bishop Thorn an unusual letter which had this language within it:

“Dear Bishop Thorn:

“As you know, Bishop Harrison Sperry of the Fourth Ward has been called to serve a two-year mission to England. So that he will not lose his bishopric while he is so serving, we are calling you, Bishop Thorn, to look after the affairs of the Fourth Ward until Bishop Sperry returns. This, of course, will be in addition to your responsibilities as the bishop of the Seventh Ward.

Sincerely your brethren, the First Presidency.”

Quite a number of you attending this priesthood leadership session serve on the high council of your stakes. You fill a vital role. From the Church News I read this account which to me was inspiring and demonstrated a classic virtue of Church government—namely, an expression of appreciation:

“At the end of the formal [disciplinary council] proceedings, the stake president asked the members of the high council to remain for a moment longer.

“With an emotion-filled voice, the president thanked the brethren of the council for their service and devotion. It had been a long evening, and all were tired, but as the high councilors listened to their president express his love and gratitude for them the weariness departed and the spirit of their callings filled and warmed them.

“I don’t know what I would do without you brethren,’ the president said. ‘You are my arms and legs in carrying out the work of the Lord in this stake. I regard each of you with the same esteem I hold for my two counselors in the presidency.’”[2]

I commend the priesthood leadership of this Church, brethren, worldwide. When the Church calls, you serve. You serve willingly. You serve faithfully. As fathers, as husbands, as sons, as brothers, you honor the counsel given by the Apostle Paul to Timothy: “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

President John Taylor provided a motivating caution to you and me when he declared, “If you do not magnify your callings, God will hold you responsible for those whom you might have saved had you done your duty.”[3]

President Harold B. Lee, when speaking to priesthood leaders, said this: “When one becomes a holder of the priesthood, he becomes an agent of the Lord. He should think of his calling as though he were on the Lord’s errand.”[4] When you are on the Lord’s errand, you are entitled to the Lord’s help.

My personal plea is that all of us will strive to know what we should know, to do what we should do, and to be what we should be.

Obeying Counsel

I served as a bishop during the period of the Korean War. We had received from Church headquarters a letter, many letters. This one indicated that bishops should send a personal letter—not a form letter, a personal letter—to each serviceman every month, along with a subscription to the Church magazine, at that time the Improvement Era, and a subscription to the Church News. That took a little doing. In our large ward, we had about 18 servicemen serving. We did not have much money. Priesthood quorums, with effort, supplied funds for the subscriptions to the publications, and I took care of the letter writing to each one. From my experiences in the Navy at the end of a previous war, I knew the importance of receiving communication from home.

One day the sister who took the shorthand for those individually dictated letters said to me, “Bishop Monson, don’t you ever get discouraged?”

I said, “No, I don’t. Why?”

“Do you realize,” she explained, “that this is the 17th consecutive monthly letter you’ve sent to Lawrence Bryson, and you’ve never received a reply?”

I said, “Well, send number 17. It might do the job.” And it did. I received a reply from an APO number in San Francisco. Brother Bryson, far away in the Pacific, had written a short letter which began, “Dear Bishop, I’ve been owing you this letter for some time now.”

“I don’t know about what I’ll talk about or say. This is the first time I’ve ever written or tried writing to a bishop. How are you and your family? How is the Church? How was Christmas? I would have liked to have been there. It’s quite a change from Christmas at home to Christmas here.

[p.21] “Well, Bishop, I’ve run out of words already. As you can see, I’m still the same backward kid you knew. But I owed you this letter, and here it is. Keep the letters coming. It’s a pleasure to get them. Tell everyone hello. I’ll try to drop you a few lines once in a while. Till then, I’m sincerely yours, Lawrence Bryson.

“P.S. I forgot to thank you for the Church News and magazines. They’re great.”

I still have that wonderful letter written to me from Lawrence Bryson and dated “Christmas Day, December 25, 1953.” It was one of the most treasured Christmas gifts ever received by me.

Yes, you sometimes wonder after 17 letters have been sent why no reply has come, but I remembered a line of truth: “The wisdom of God may appear as foolishness to men. But the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and a man obeys, that man will always be right.” The leaders of the Church had spoken. We as bishops needed only to obey. The blessing was sure to follow.

We have a model to follow, brethren, in President Gordon B. Hinckley, our prophet, seer, and revelator. He is receptive to the Spirit of the Lord. He lives in such a way as to merit His direction. He asks nothing from all of us beyond that which he himself exemplifies.

I close with the words of Jesus, who declared, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him” (Revelation 3:20). That is our promise.

He is our Lord and Master. We are His servants. Let us so serve that we may be worthy of His divine help and approbation, I humbly pray, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. John A. Widtsoe, “8 Points of Leadership,” Improvement Era, June 1939, 330-31, 378, 380.

2. "‘A ‘Sacred Calling,’” Church News, 19 Feb. 1994, 16.

3. In Deseret News: Semi-Weekly, 6 Aug. 1878, 1.

4. Stand Ye in Holy Places (1974), 255.

President Gordon B. Hinckley
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-day Saints

Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve
[p.22]
The Miracle of It All

My dear brethren, what a pleasure and an honor and an opportunity to say a few wrap-up words. This has been a great session, and I hope that after this meeting is over, all of us who will have opportunity to have it in printed form or otherwise might take occasion to review it again and again and again. It will be profitable to do so.

While the Brethren have been speaking I have been thinking of you, my dear associates in this great work. In my mind’s eye I have seen you across the world—in all the nations of Europe and to the east across Russia and to her neighbors; in Mexico, Central America, and in all the lands of South America; in Asia, in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, the Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, India, and on down to Singapore and Indonesia; in Australia and New Zealand, and the isles of the Pacific; in Africa with all its many nations; across Canada and the United States.

I think of the miracle of it all. I think first of the miracle of the growth of the Church. The little stone which was cut out of the mountain without hands is rolling forth to fill the earth (see Daniel 2:34-35). I think also of the miracle of speaking to you in these circumstances. We are men of different nations and different languages, but we are all servants of the living God, leaders in His Church and kingdom. It is a glorious miracle that we are thus able to join together.

It is important that we do so. The Lord has provided the way.

We now have some 350 or 400 new stake presidents every year. We have some 4,500 new bishops each year. Other officers are constantly rotating. New leaders must be trained, and some of the mature leaders may be inclined to say, “I’ve heard it all before.”

Well, repetition is a law of learning. No matter how long we have served, we need constant refreshing and exposure to new ideas and different faces, all designed to bring about a strengthening of the work.

As I have been listening with you, a question has arisen in my mind as I believe it has in each of yours. That question is this: “How can I find the time to do it all?”

Let me say that there is never enough time to do it all. There is so much more than any of us can singlehandedly give attention to.

I think I know something of this. I have been where many of you are today There is only one way you can get it done. That is to follow the direction which the Lord gave Joseph Smith. To him He said, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing” (D&C 88:119).

A Fourfold Responsibility

Each of us has a fourfold responsibility. First, we have a responsibility to our families. Second, we have a responsibility to our employers. Third, we have a responsibility to the Lord’s work. Fourth, we have a responsibility to ourselves.

First, it is imperative that you not neglect your families. Nothing you have is more precious. Your wives and your children are deserving of the attention of their husbands and fathers. When all is said and done, it is this family relationship which we will take with us into the life beyond. To paraphrase the words of scripture, “What shall it profit a man though he serve the Church faithfully and lose his own family?” (see Mark 8:36).

Together with them, determine how much time you will spend with them and when. And then stick to it. Try not to let anything interfere. Consider it sacred. Consider it binding. Consider it an earned time of enjoyment.

[p.23] Keep Monday night sacred for family home evening. Have an evening alone with your wife. Arrange some vacation time with the entire family.

Two, to your business or your employer. You have an obligation. Be honest with your employer. Do not do Church work on his time. Be loyal to him. He compensates you and expects results from you. You need employment to care for your family Without it you cannot be an effective Church worker.

Three, to the Lord and His work. Budget your time to take care of your Church responsibilities. Recognize first that every officer has many helpers, as we have been reminded today. The stake president has two able counselors. The presidency has a high council of dedicated and able men. They have clerks as they need them. Every bishop has counselors. They are there to lift the burdens of his office from his shoulders. He has a ward council, together with others to whom he may and must delegate responsibility. He has the members of his ward, and the more he can delegate to them, the lighter will be his burden and the stronger will grow their faith.

Every priesthood quorum presldent has counselors, as well as the membership of the quorum. It is so with the Relief Society. No bishop can expect to fill the shoes of his Relief Society president in ministering to the needs of the members of his ward.

Four, every Church leader has an obligation to himself. He must get needed rest and exercise. He needs a little recreation. He must have time to study. Every Church officer needs to read the scriptures. He needs time to ponder and meditate and think by himself. Wherever possible he needs to go with his wife to the temple as opportunity permits.

These four obligations rest upon each of us. With thoughtful consideration and careful planning, we can so budget our time as to accommodate them. We cannot, brethren, we must not neglect any one of them. The Lord does not expect us to be supermen. But if we will place ourselves in His hands, if we will plead with Him in prayer, He will inspire us and help us. He will magnify us and make us equal to the responsibility

He has said, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (D&C 112:10).

He has further said, “God shall give unto you knowledge by his Holy Spirit, yea, by the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost” (D&C 12 1:26). The challenge that faces every good leader is the challenge of learning to delegate. Every stake president, every bishop, every quorum president must pass responsibility to others so that he will have the time to do that which he alone must do.

Happiness in This Work

Brethren, if you are constantly complaining that you have too much to do, then you do have too much to do. You need to get rid of some of it because a disgruntled leader becomes a poor leader.

I asked a friend who had been made a bishop how he was getting along. He said, “I am having the time of my life. I watch others work, and they tell me how happy they are. I have the best job in the Church.”

Now, of course, this man had an immense amount of work to do. There were many responsibilities which he could not give to others. But the frustration was gone. The worry was gone. He had the capacity to make assignments and to make those to whom assignments were given feel that everything depended on the way they performed. As a matter of fact, it did.

Brethren, I want to plead with you that you be happy in your work. Wear a smile on your face, and have a song in your heart as you serve the Lord.

I am an old man now. I simply do not have the energy to do what I once did. But I will not permit myself to be unhappy in doing what I can.

The demands are great. I feel a constant, unrelenting concern for what is being accomplished in the Church. I want to do better; I want to improve things. But I know that I cannot do it alone. I have two wonderful counselors, able and dedicated men. I have the Council of the Twelve. There is no better body of men on the face of the earth. I have the Seventy and the Bishopric. And I have all of you working together as one great family to assist our Father in bringing to pass His incomparable work concerning the immortality and eternal life of His children. I have the great blessing of prayer. And so does each of you. I have the opportunity to get on my knees and ask the Lord to show me the way and give me the strength and the will and the wisdom to accomplish that which He would have done.

There is no other work in all the world so fraught with happiness as is this work. That happiness is peculiar. It comes of serving others. It is real. It is unique. It is wonderful. [p.24]

The Privilege to Serve

In conclusion, let me tell you of an experience recounted by L. Robert Webb when he served as a bishop. Bishop Webb said:

“I learned from my counselors at one point that an elderly sister had declined a calling in the ward. Sensing that something was amiss…, I made an appointment to go to her home to speak with her. When I got there, she and her husband were both present.

“After a little polite conversation I said that I understood that she had not felt comfortable in accepting a ward calling and asked what I could do to help. Both of them stared at the floor a long, long time before she answered. At last she spoke to explain that 50 years earlier, before they had been married, they had been intimate with one another and had been too ashamed to clear this up with the bishop before being married in the temple. For all of these years they had lived under the guilty burden of this transgression while paying generous tithes and offerings, … rearing a family in the faith, and sending children on missions.

“Though they were faithful, they were not whole. They were kept from the peace and contentment that should have been theirs in golden years by clouds of self-doubt and the tarnished memory of unresolved transgression. Outwardly they seemed secure and serene. Inwardly they were carrying a kind of damage and hurt that intruded on their spiritual confidence. Together they had suffered this awful alienation from the Lord for a long time.

“I do not know why their ordeal lasted a lifetime. I only know when it ended as the Lord lifted them from their lonely lamentations. As I tearfully listened to their story, I prayed earnestly to know what I might do to relieve them. When they finished speaking I felt impressed to say simply: “It is over. You have suffered long enough. I am sure the Lord has forgiven you. Repentance consists of forsaking a sin and confessing. You forsook that guilty act long, long ago. Tonight you also confessed. Now you are free. I feel certain that the Lord has forgotten your transgression and is eager to dispel your guilt with redeeming grace.

“After kneeling in prayer together we three stood encircled in one another’s arms as they sobbed out the last of their pent-up suffering and anguish.

“‘Oh, Bishop, is it really over?’ they asked.

“I assured them that it was.

“The loving kindness and the grace of the Savior poured into their lives in sweet forgiving. He reached past the things that separated them from him and embraced them in sweet communion.”[1]

Yours, my dear brethren across the world, is the privilege of standing in the shadow of the Redeemer of the world as we carry forward this work. Yours is the opportunity to speak of the beauty of the atoning blood of the Lord Jesus Christ in behalf of His sons and daughters. Could there be a greater privilege than this?

Rejoice in the privilege which is yours. Your opportunity will not last forever. Too soon there will be only the memory of the great experience you are now having.

None of us will accomplish all we might wish to. But let us do the best we can. I am satisfied that the Redeemer will then say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

God bless you, my beloved brethren. I leave you with my love for you. Each of you has a warm place in my heart. I leave my blessing upon you as my fellow servants in this great cause and kingdom. I do it all in the sacred name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Note

1. L. Robert Webb, “Vast and Intimate: The Atonement in the Heavens and in the Heart,” Brigham Young University 1998-99 Speeches (1999), 78-79.

January 10, 2004
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting

- Pres. James E. Faust: Challenges Facing the Family

- Elder Richard G. Scott: The Doctrinal Foundation of the Auxiliaries

- Bonnie D. Parkin, Susan W. Tanner, Coleen K. Menlove: The Purposes of the Auxiliaries

- Elder Dallin H. Oaks: The Priesthood and the Auxiliaries

- Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley: Standing Strong and Immovable

President James E. Faust
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Challenges Facing the Family
[p.1]
The Disintegration of Families

I should like to speak today on challenges facing the family In recent times, society has been plagued with a cancer. I speak of the disintegration of many of our homes and families. Confusion and disorder are all too common in society, but we must not permit them to destroy our families. In every country there is a general breakdown of the moral fabric of society that confronts the sacred fainilv institutions with new challenges. You are all aware of this because it engulfs us. Governments exercise less and less moral authority So the principal institutions which foster righteous living are the church and the family.

The family relationship of father, mother, and children is the oldest and most enduring institution in the world. It has survived all differences of time, geography, and culture. Because marriage between a man and a woman is a natural state that is ordained of God, the Prophet Joseph taught that “marriage was an institution of heaven, instituted in the Garden of Eden; [and] that it was necessary [that] it should be solemnized by the authority of the everlasting Priesthood.”[1] It is a moral imperative.

By all odds, marriage is the most important decision of mortal life. One should not get married just to get married. Mature preparation is required to take on the important responsibilities inherent in this sacred relationship. Marriage also requires faith—faith in oneself, faith in one’s marriage partner, and faith in the Lord. It also requires total commitment by both parties.

The first event in establishing a family is to get married! The reluctance for some to marry seems to be increasing worldwide. Between 1970 and 2001, the marriage rate in the United States declined from 76.5 to 45.6.[2] The major factors contributing to this decline are young people delaying marriage, increases in the proportion of adult population who have never married, and an increase in cohabitation.[3] The marriage rates in four reported South American countries have dramatically declined in the past decade, and in most European countries they have also dramatically decreased for several decades.[4] Studies, however, show that Latter-day Saints are more likely to marry than people in the general population and also that men who marry generally live longer and are more healthy and happy than those who do not.[5]

At the heart of a happy family is complete devotion of both parents to each other. In terms of sexual intimacy, the Lord’s law is abstinence before marriage and fidelity afterward. As stated in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” “The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”[6]

Unfortunately, marriage is becoming less valued. Cohabitation is now widely accepted in many places as an alternative to marriage. Cohabitation is often seen as a trial marriage, with little commitment.

Since 1960, in the United States there has been a 760 percent increase in unmarried couples living together, amounting to 3.8 million couples in the year 2000[7] Most cohabitations end without marriage and are relatively short. Statistics show that cohabiting couples are much more likely to break up than are married couples.[8]

The statistics of some representative countries indicate that the percentage of divorce is also increasing. Experts project that about half of the women in the United States will have a marriage dissolve some time in their life.[9] Another alarming statistic [p.2] is that out-of-wedlock births have increased by 158 percent.[10]

Also disturbing is the shift in attitude about the purpose of marriage. More and more young people view marriage “as a couples relationship, designed to fulfill the emotional needs of adlults, rather than an institution for bringing up children.” The pursuit of such “soul-mate relationship]s] may [well] weaken marriage as an institution for rearing children.”[11]

Another disturbing challenge to the family is that children are becoming less valued. In many parts of the world, people are having fewer chil(Iron. Abortion is probably the clearest sign that couples do not want children. An estimated one-quarter of all pregnancies worldwide end by induced! abortion. The rates range from a high of almost 50 percent in Europe to about 15 percent in Africa.[12]

Complete trust in each other greatly enriches a marriage. Nothing devastates that core of mutual trust like infidelity. Adultery is never justified. Occasionally marriages survive this destructive experience and families are preserved, but to do so redluires the aggrieved partner to give unreserved love great enough to forgive and forget. It requires the errant partner to want desperately to repent, humbly seek forgiveness, andl actually forsake evil.

Safeguarding Our Families

Loyalty to our companion should not be merely physical hut mental and! spiritual as well. Flirtations are never harmless, and jealousy has no place in a marriage. Marriage partners must avoi(I the very appearance of evil by shunning any questionable contact with any persofl to whom they are not married. Virtue is the strong glue that holdls marriage together. Said! the Lord], Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22).

Any promise maole by a man and a woman in a marriage ceremony—especially a temple sealing—has the dignity of one of the most important covenants we can make. Sacred covenants must always be honored. The challenges facing families today are many and great. Our family relationships need! every protection that can be instituted, and keeping sacred covenants is a powerful defense.

Nehemiah of the Old Testament was huildling a wall with “no breach left therein” to protect Jerusalem (Nehemiah 6:1). His enemies entreated him to come olown from the wall because they wanted to do him mischief Nehemiah stayed on the wall and said, “I cannot come down [from the wall]: why should! the work cease?” (v. 3).

We cannot build walls of brick and stone around our families, but we must constantly put safeguards around them to protect them. These safeguards will he a protection. May I mention three ways to protect and strengthen our families.

Family Prayer

One of these is family prayer. The Spirit of the Lord is invited into the home through prayer and harmony in the home. Parents need to teach their children that they are children of God and! that they should pray to Him daily. Praying together as a family is a bonding experience. Younger children can learn how to pray as they hear the prayers of their parents and] older siblings.

My own heart and mind were captured as a young boy by my grandfather’s prayers. His large family knelt morning and night before meals. At the time, I thought his prayers were far too long! He had much to pray about. He was a farmer and rancher. It was during the Great Depression, and there was a terrible drought in the land. His animals were starving. He had many mouths to feed. But his prayers were so fervent and his faith so great, I was convinced that the Lord would provide and that all would be well. It ultimately proved to be so. Individual prayer and family prayer are indispensable to personal and family happiness.

Family Home Evening

The second safeguard is weekly family home evening. Family home evening is for all of us no matter what stage of life we are in. Sister Faust and I find that family home evening is different for us than it used to be with our children and grandchildren around us. Most of the time now we study the scriptures together. A few weeks ago in our family home evening, we read our patriarchal blessings, trying to understand what work we might yet have to accomplish. We found we still have additional work to do.

Some families have moved away from this important meeting. We should do all we can to free up Monday evenings from any other competing activities. Like glue, family [p.3] home evening bonds us together as families. Lessons should be instructive and involve family members in a relaxeol atmosphere which includes an expression of love.

In our family home evenings we should try to involve everyone, except infants, in some way Small children can participate by singing songs. Older children can he assigned to prepare and teach all or part of the lesson. Other family members can help the younger children prepare. All should be invited to ask questions arising from their own gospel study or from the lesson.

Family home evening is also a time for calendaring family activities so that everyone knows what is expected of them. It is a time when misunderstandings can be ironed out. It is also a time to encourage family members to enhance their talents and seek new skills.

Family and Personal Scripture Study

The third basic is family and personal scripture study This requires some planning and discipline on the part of the parents and all of the children. We must help our children by strengthening their faith and understanding.

One young lady, recently married in the temple, spoke of the value of scripture study in her family when she was growing up. Her mother used to ring a large cowbell at 5:00 am, daily to awaken the family for scripture study. She felt grumpy and thought that this daily exercise was a waste of time, but, nonetheless, the routine continued from her childhood into adult life.

As she looks hack, this young woman now realizes that this time of family scripture study formed an important pattern which she and her brothers and sisters continue to follow in their own families. During these study times, she slowly hut surely gained a testimony of the gospel. During these formative years, she also formed a special eternal bond with her parents and with each of her brothers and sisters.

Personal and family scripture study is a lifetime process. Children may struggle a little with some of the language of the scriptures, and so parents and older siblings should take time to discuss and explain some of the more difficult passages. They should explain their relevance to some of their current circumstances. Gospel study habits may take years to establish firmly in families—they do not just happen. Study habits help form a protective wall for families to rely on and help them bond together.

The Responsibilities of Parents

Recently Sister Faust and I met our newest great-grandchild. I held her in my arms for the first time. I realized that this clear little girl has so many things that she must learn to cope with so that she can be happy in life. The best place for children to learn that which is most important is in the home because home is where the most love is found. By commandment, parents are to teach their children “the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of … the gift of the Holy Ghost” (D&C 68:25).

To meet the challenges of life, our children must have testimonies of the Savior as the Redeemer of the world. They need to he taught that one day they will be accountable to) the Lord for their actions in this life. They also must be taught the Lord’s plan of happiness for His children. This means that they need to have a knowledge that God loves them, that we lived with Him before the world was, and that each of us can return to Him through the mission of His Son, Jesus Christ. Also, to meet the challenges of life, our children need to have an education.

Parents should administer discipline through love and righteousness. Children cannot be forced into obedience. As President Hinckley has said, “There is need for discipline with families. But discipline with severity, discipline with cruelty, inevitably leads not to correction, but rather to resentment and bitterness. It cures nothing and only aggravates the problem. It is self-defeating.”[13] Our best method for correcting children when they have (lone wrong is by firmness, love, patience, kindness, persuasion, and reason.

In my opinion, members of the Church have the most effective cure for society’s decaying family life. It is for men, women, anol children to honor and respect the divine roles of both fathers and mothers in the home. In doing so, mutual respect and appreciation among the members of the Church will be fostered by the righteousness founol there. I recognize that there are some single parents raising children, so I would repeat the wise counsel offered by Elder John B. Dickson. He wrote, “When the ideal home situation with father and mother is not in place, then we must do the best we can to c)ffer priesthood and organization support; but we must not displace parents in their preeminent role.”[14]

I also recognize that sometimes it is necessary for women to work away from the home in order to provide ft)r the family At the press conference on March 13, 1995, when the new First Presidency was announced, reporters [p.4] asked about working mothers. President Hinckley responded:

"Do the best you can, and rememher that the greatest assets you have in this world are those children whom you have brought into the world and for whose nurture and care you are responsible.”

While there are many fathers who are closely involved in the rearing of their children, a growing number of men are “disengaged or entirely absent” in their children’s lives. Men who father children out of wedlock or cohabit rather than marrying are much less likely than married men to provide the ongoing and constant nurture and support that children require.[15]

The Power of the Priesthood

God has wisely established a guiding authority for the most important institutions in the world. This guiding authority is the priesthood. The priesthood provides blessings from God for all members at the hands of the servants He has designated. This authority of the priesthood can bless all members through the ministrations of home teachers, quorum presidents, bishops, fathers, and all other righteous brethren who are charged with the administration of the affairs of the kingdom of God.

Priesthood is the righteous power and influence by which boys are taught in their youth and throughout their lives to honor chastity to be honest and industrious, and to develop respect for and stand in defense of womanhood. Priesthood is a restraining influence. Girls are taught that they can fulfill many of their dlesires through its influence and the power to bless.

The great sealing keys restored by Elijah, spoken of by Malachi, are invoked through the priesthood. In righteous families they operate “to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse” (D&C 110:15; see also Malachi 4:6). This sealing power bestowed by Elijah reveals itself in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service.

We must strengthen Elijah’s mission of turning the hearts of the fathers and the children to each other. The ordinances of the temple become dynamic and productive of good only as they reveal themselves in our daily lives. These are the cords that bind families together, and the priesthood advances their development.

I strongly urge fathers, husbands, wives, and children to honor and revere the blessings of the priesthood. By so doing they can help cure some of the cancer that plagues our society and seeps into our families. I hope and pray that fathers can be taught to magnify their priesthood callings as family patriarchs and that the sisters will be blessed in their most important role—motherhood—and that together they will experience the rewards promised by our Heavenly Father, and this I say in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. History of the Church, 2:320.

2. Based on data from the U.S. Census Bureau (number of marriages per 1,000 unmarried women age 15 and older), figure 1 in the National Marriage Project, “Social Indicators of Marital Health and Wellbeing: Trends of the Past Four Decades,” The State of Our Unions, 2003: The Social Health of Marriage in America (annual report 2003), 21.

3. National Marriage Project, “Social Indicators,” 20-21.

4. United Nations, Demographic Yearbook 2000 (2002), table 23. See also previous years.

5. See Tim B. Heaton and Kristen L. Goodman, “Religion and Family Formation,” Review of Religious Research, June 1985, 343-59; Elizabeth VanDenBerghe, “Religion and the Abundant Life,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 32-45; Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (2000).

6. Ensign, Nov. 1995. 102.

7. Arlene F. Saluter, Current Population Reports, Series P-20, No. 450, Marital Status and living Arrangements: March 1990 (1991), table N (439,000 unmarried couple households in 1960); Jason Fields, Current Population Reports, Series P-20, No. 537, America’s Families and Living Arrangements: March 2000 (2001), 12 (3.8 million unmarried couple households in 2000; actual number of unmarried couples may be much higher).

8. National Marriage Project, “Social Indicators,” 25.

9. Rose M. Kreider and Jason Fields, Current Population Reports, Series P-70, No. 80, Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996 (2001), 17-18; see also National Marriage Project, “Social Indicators,” 23-24, 25.

10. National Center for Health Statistics, National Vital Statistics Reports, Births: Final Data for 2002, Dec. 17, 2002, table C; National Center for Health Statistics, Nonmarital Childbearing in the United States, 1940-99, Oct. 18, 2000, table 1. (Data from 1973-2001.)

11. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, “Marriage and Children: Coming Together Again?” in The State of Our unions 2001: The Social Health of Marriage in America, National Marriage Project (annual report, 2003), 10-11.

12. Stanley K. Henshaw and others, “The Incidence of Abortion Worldwide,” International Family Planning Perspectives, Supplement, Jan. 1999, table 1.

13. Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley (1997), 418.

14. “Lead Me, Guide Me,” Ensign, Sept. 2003, 17.

15. Popenoe and Whitehead, “Marriage and Children,” 9.

Elder Richard G. Scott
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The Doctrinal Foundation of the Auxiliaries
[p.5]
The Role of the Auxiliaries

My message is based on this marvelous message about marriage, family, and the home that President Faust has given us so clearly.

I have been assigned the privilege of discussing with you the doctrine and principles by which auxiliary organizations of the Church function and how they relate to the priesthood line. To provide a solid foundation, this message is based upon statements of several Presidents of the Church, many of which are quoted directly. This counsel is given to help you serve effectively under the guidance of your priesthood leaders in the auxiliary organization where you live. Where needed, they will help you adjust your activities to be consistent with your local conditions and resources.

There are five Church auxiliary organizations: Young Men, Sunday School, Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary. This message is directed to you of the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary. The other two will be emphasized in future broadcasts.

What is the role of an auxiliary organization? In answering that question, it is essential to remember that “the family is ordained of God” and is “central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”[1] The fundamental role and purpose of the auxiliary organizations of the Church is to help “plant and make grow … a testimony of [Jesus] Christ and of the Gospel.” Auxiliaries can also teach of the divine mission of Joseph Smith and of the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ. This effort will aid families and individuals “to order their lives in accordance with the laws and principles of the restored Gospel” under the direction of the holy priesthood.[2]

The family and the home are the foundation of the righteous life. The priesthood is the power and the priesthood line is the means provided by the Lord to support the family. The scriptures and approved materials are provided to instruct individuals and families in the ways of God. One example of such materials is the new study guide for the Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society for this year on the teachings of President Heber J. Grant.

The Church auxiliaries are organized to assist the individual, the family and the priesthood in realizing divine expectations. However, the activity of each must be correlated carefully with the other auxiliaries so that order may be maintained and revealed doctrine kept pure.[3] This coordination is best accomplished under priesthood leadership in stake and ward councils.

In Support of Home and Family

President Kimball taught:

“The mission of the Church to its members is to make available the principles, programs, and priesthood by which they can prepare themselves for exaltation. Our success, individually and as a Church, will largely be determined by how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home. Only as we see clearly the responsibilities of each individual and the role of families and homes can we properly understand that priesthood quorums and auxiliary organizations, even wards and stakes, exist primarily to help members live the gospel in the home. Then we can understand that people are more important than programs, and that Church programs [p.6] should always support and never detract from gospel-centered family activities.…

“Our commitment to home-centered gospel living should become the clear message of every priesthood and auxiliary program, reducing, where necessary, some of the optional activities that may detract from proper focus on the family and the home.”[4]

At a crucial earlier time in Church history, Elder Harold B. Lee was assigned the daunting task of correlating what then were many diverse facets of the overall Church organization into its present unified form.

The insights he gained through that sacred assignment are most helpful to us today In a conference message, President Lee gave this valuable counsel:

“The home is the basis of a righteous life.… Priesthood programs operate in support of the home; the auxiliary programs render valuable assistance.… [There is an] urgency of impressing the importance of better teaching and greater parental responsibility in the home. Much of what we do organizationally then, is scaffolding, as we seek to build the individual, and we must not mistake the scaffolding for the soul.”[5]

President Lee also emphasized: “Priesthood leaders … are to strengthen the Church—to see that all Church members do their duty and that the auxiliaries do their utmost to do what that word implies. An auxiliary is to be an aid to the priesthood in watching over the Church and also an aid to the home, under the direction and cooperation of the priesthood.”[6]

President Lee further declared that Church programs should strengthen the home: “If there should ever come a time where … [Church] efforts should be so inclusive as to take all the time of the child … it would be a tragic thing.… Ours should be a conscious every day effort … to reinforce and to strengthen the homes which are our Heavenly Father’s first line of defense.”[7]

President Hinckley has taught:

“We must work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.

“If we fail in our homes, we fail in our lives.… Pray for guidance, for help, for direction, and then follow the whisperings of the Spirit to guide you in the most serious of all responsibilities, for the consequences of your leadership in your home will be eternal and everlasting.”[8]

In a general conference message in 1906, President Joseph F. Smith taught: “We expect to see the day … when every council of the Priesthood … will understand its duty, will assume its own responsibility, will magnify its calling … to the uttermost.… When that day shall come, there will not be so much necessity for work that is now being done by the auxiliary organizations, because it will be done by the regular quorums of the Priesthood.”[9]

Later, President Harold B. Lee made this clarifying explanation: “There has been some misunderstanding about that statement [of President Joseph F. Smith]. This did not mean that we would eliminate the auxiliaries heretofore established, but it meant that we would increase the responsibility of the priesthood quorums in strengthening these existing organizations by becoming more involved in order to give priesthood emphasis to every phase of the Lord’s work.”[10]

These principles stated by former Presidents of the Church govern the auxiliary organizations of the Church. They have been reiterated by subsequent First Presidencies. They continue to be the foundation of the Church auxiliary work.

Callings in Wards and Stakes

How are auxiliary organizations governed? I will describe the general principles of governance. Later in the broadcast, one way of applying these principles will be demonstrated.
All auxiliary organizations operate under the direct presidency and supervision of stake and ward priesthood authorities, who carry the ultimate responsibility for the work of these organizations. By divine direction, stake presidents and bishops hold the keys of making callings in the respective organizations over which they preside and of giving guidance to those organizations. They hold the keys of receiving confirming revelation as to who should be called, and they are responsible for the calling, sustaining, and setting apart of officers and teachers.

Specifically, stake presidents are responsible for all Melchizedek Priesthood callings. Those callings include high priests and elders quorum officers, clerks, and executive secretary. Stake presidents are also responsible for the calling of stake auxiliary officers. Bishops are responsible for all Aaronic Priesthood callings and for the calling of all ward auxiliary officers.

Each auxiliary president is asked to recommend, after prayerful consideration, individuals to serve as counselors. When a presidency has been approved and called, recommendations for other officers, such as secretaries or teachers in a specific organization, should be made after prayerful evaluation by the full auxiliary presidency.

Because of the keys they hold, stake presidents and bishops can receive confirming revelation to proceed with such callings in accordance with the fifth article of faith.

[p.7] This inspired pattern maintains order in the kingdom. It allows information not available to auxiliary officers who recommend candidates to be considered in seeking confirmation whether a call should be extended or not. A stake president or bishop has the keys of the Church in Israel and therefore knows of worthiness issues or other sensitive family concerns that are not public knowledge. Thus, an auxiliary president should seek the guidance of the Lord as to who should be recommended to specific positions while recognizing that it is only a recommendation.

While the stake president or bishop often receives a confirmation that the individual recommended should be called, that is not always the case. Each recommendation will be carefully evaluated, recognizing that it has been conscientiously considered and prayerfully identified.

A stake president or bishop will normally consult closely with auxiliary leaders on individuals recommended to ensure that the full picture of an organization’s needs is obtained before he prayerfully seeks confirmation of a calling. Then he will hold a worthiness interview and discussion with the individual prior to extending a call to serve.

Stake presidents and bishops, when you call a new presidency of an auxiliary organization, give them guidance and vision to orient their service. Meet with your counselors, and develop a statement of direction that you hope that they will follow to fulfill their assignment and to meet local needs. Share this vision with the new presidency. Ask them to prepare a plan for its implementation. A member of the presidency or bishopric should meet with them periodically to give further guidance and help them resolve any challenges they may have.

How to Serve

How should you serve? Follow the example of the auxiliary organizations at Church headquarters. They serve under the direction of their assigned General Authority priesthood officers. They meet together frequently to avoid duplication of effort, to simplify the guidance given, and to ensure that their materials are consistent with doctrine and Church policies. Excellent examples of how these cooperative efforts reduce the burdens on the membership of the Church are the recently published Faith in God program for boys and girls, prepared by the Primary and the Duty to God and Young Women Personal Progress programs currently in use throughout the world.

Extraordinary effort was focused on these materials to make sure that they were simple, clear, and applicable around the world. They were worked on cooperatively with other headquarters auxiliaries. The other organizations have developed their materials in a similar way. When finalized, their efforts are reviewed and approved by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve.

Auxiliary officers are presided over by their corresponding priesthood leaders at every level of Church government—at headquarters and at the stake and ward levels. The general officers of the auxiliary organizations at Church headquarters have occasional contact with the stake and ward officers they assist. These headquarters auxiliary officers, however do not preside over their corresponding field officers.

The general Church auxiliary officers maintain occasional contact with the field and make sure that the materials they develop for worldwide use are relevant, meet the needs of the corresponding auxiliary organization, and focus on strengthening the family in the home.

Follow the example of these headquarters organizations. As stake auxiliary officers, you will want to inform the stake presidency of your basic plans before they are implemented. Likewise at the ward level, you should share with the bishopric your plans before they are carried out. It is vitally important that auxiliary officers participate actively and effectively in the stake or ward council in which they function.

Stake presidencies and bishoprics, you should periodically meet separately with each auxiliary presidency under your guidance to understand and thereby be able to give inspired counsel and direction to their work.

This investment of time will strengthen the valuable support that each auxiliary organization can give to bless the families and individuals in the local stakes and wards.

Simplifying the Work

In the past the First Presidency has warned: “The work of the Church, in all fields, is standing in grave danger of being regimented down to the minutest detail. The result of that will be that not only will all initiative be crushed out but that all opportunity for the working of the spirit will be eliminated. The Church has not been built on that principle. In all their work, the Auxiliaries must not only give opportunity for initiative, but … must encourage it.”11

May I give you a word of caution as you plan your activities. Make sure that the essential needs are met, but [p.8] do not go overboard in creating so many good things to do that the essential ones are not accomplished. I will share an example. Recently an enthusiastic stake Relief Society presidency decided to take advantage of the worldwide women’s meeting broadcast from Church headquarters. On the day of the conference, they organized a four-hour training session for the ward Relief Society presidencies, then had a formal, sit-down dinner which, of course, those local Relief Society presidents prepared, served, and cleaned up. By the time the Relief Society broadcast was received, those sisters’ minds were full to overflowing. They could not have gained the maximum benefit from that carefully prepared broadcast. Remember, don’t magnify the work to be done—simplify it.

Have you received a recent calling and feel overwhelmed? Remember how easy it sounded when someone described how to play a piano or to swim? Then when you tried to do that, or any other challenging task, how complicated it seemed.

Remember how as you persisted it became more comfortable and much easier to manage? As you diligently serve, the Lord will help you in like manner with your new calling.

There is an irrigation analogy normally used in the Church of “getting the water to the end of the row.” However, at stake and ward levels it would be far better for you priesthood leaders and auxiliary officers to simply “let it rain” from heaven. Your sacred callings give you the divine right to inspiration. Confidently seek it. Wherever you live in the world in the smallest branch or the largest ward, a struggling district or a fully organized stake, you have the right to be guided in fulfilling your inspired assignment to best meet the needs of those you serve.

Fellow workers in the kingdom of God on earth, we love you. We pray for you. We pray that you will be inspired and will find success and profound joy in fulfilling your sacred assignments.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

2. “Memorandum of Suggestions,” Mar. 29, 1940, 2.

3. See First Presidency letter, Dec. 7, 1990.

4. “Living the Gospel in the Home,” Ensign, May 1978, 101.

5. In Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 107; or Improvement Era, Jan. 1968, 31.

6. The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, comp. Clyde J. Williams (1996), 263.

7. “Primary Fundamentals for Primary Workers and Parents,” Children’s Friend, Aug. 1950, 342.

8. In Conference Report, Oct. 2002, 109-10; or Ensign, Nov. 2002, 100.

9. In Conference Report, Apr. 1906, 3.

10. Teachings of Harold B. Lee, 263.

11. See First Presidency letter, Jan. 13, 1923.

12. “Memorandum of Suggestions,” Mar. 29, 1940, 4.

Bonnie D. Parkin
Relief Society General President

Susan W. Tanner
Young Women General President

Coleen K. Menlove
Primary General President

The Purposes of the Auxiliaries
[p.9]
Unity of Purpose

Sister Parkin: What a blessing for Sister Tanner, Sister Menlove, and me, Sister Parkin, to be here with you today. Sister Coleen Menlove is the general president of the Primary. Sister Susan Tanner is the general president of Young Women.

All of us in the Church are called to serve the Lord, no matter where we live. We each have a sacred assignment to help families and individuals come unto Jesus Christ. That’s our mission. In just a couple of words, let’s talk about the objectives of Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society.

Sister Menlove: In Primary we help children develop testimonies of Jesus Christ.

Sister Tanner: And in Young Women we prepare the young women to come unto Jesus Christ.

Sister Parkin: Relief Society is all about helping women and families come unto Jesus Christ. We want all to feel the love of Jesus Christ in their lives.

Sister Tanner: I’m grateful that we are so unified in our purposes, and I’m also very grateful that we have the privilege of serving together under the direction of the priesthood. We really do see the Lord’s hand in what we do, and we bear testimony that it works.

Sister Menlove: It does work. What a privilege it is to be doing our part. I can’t help but think of President Hinckley’s statement in our recent conference “We are all working as one in a great cause.”[1]

Sister Parkin: Today we want to show you three short vignettes, and then we want to discuss them. The first one demonstrates receiving a call from the Lord through a priesthood leader, the second shows an auxiliary presidency meeting, and the third represents reporting back to a priesthood leader. Then we want to take just a minute or two and talk about those clips and what we learn from them and how we can serve the Lord in better ways.

Sister Tanner: Let’s watch this first one together, and you will see a bishop extending a call to a sister. While you’re watching, observe several things. Watch how the bishop addresses the needs of the family and the concerns of the sister, and then notice what part revelation plays in that calling.

Vignette 1—A Calling to Serve

Bishop Barker: Hello, Sister Jensen.

Sister Jensen: Hi, Bishop.

Bishop Barker: Hello, Brother Jensen. [p.10] Thank you for coming. Please tell me, how is your family?

Sister Jensen: I think we’re doing great. Jenny seems to be loving life, like any 15-year-old should, and Grant has transitioned to a new school and has made some new friends, so we’re feeling better about his direction. Our missionary is doing well. He writes that he is enjoying his mission. Japanese is a hard language, but he’s working hard at it.

Bishop Barker: I’m sure he’s a wonderful missionary. You’re both raising a wonderful family and you’re a great strength in our ward.

Sister Jensen, I appreciated the temple recommend interview we had last week. I’m grateful that you’re a worthy temple recommend holder and that things are in order in your home. I want to thank you for all that you’ve done as the compassionate service leader in the Relief Society. You, Sister Jensen, have been a great blessing in the lives of many sisters in our ward.

You know, it’s interesting. ‘You’ve been in my mind lately and it’s become very clear to me what the Lord now wants you to do—and that is to bless the lives of some of the younger sisters in our ward.

As a bishopric we presented your name to the Lord, and He has confirmed our initial feeling that you, Sister Jensen, should be the new Young Women president in the ward. The reason I invited you both here today is to extend this call to you to serve as the president of the Young Women organization in our ward. I want you to know that this is a call from the Lord.

Sister Jensen: Oh my, Bishop. I’ve never worked with the young women before.

Bishop Barker: I can appreciate your concern. You actually have—in your own home. Every time I see you interact with Jenny I see a mother who is guided by the Lord. You’ve done a wonderful job, and you will be a wonderful example to the young women here in our ward, especially as they transition from youth to womanhood.

Sister Jensen: Well, I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and His work, and I do love the young women. I’d be happy to accept this call, but I have to admit I’m really overwhelmed.

Bishop Barker: You’re a faithful sister, and I know that He will be with you. Brother Jensen, will you support your wife as she serves as the president of the Young Women organization here in our ward?

Brother Jensen: Bishop, I’ve been very grateful to Marcie for all the support she has given me; I’d be delighted to support her in this calling.

Bishop Barker: That’s wonderful.

Sister Jensen: Bishop, what’s your biggest concern for the young women in our ward?

Bishop Barker: That’s a great question. I am really concerned about the youth being committed to living God’s standards. As you and your presidency begin meeting together, I would like you to make this a high priority. Consider how you can help parents teach youth gospel standards.

Sister Jensen: What about counselors?

Bishop Barker: I would like you to recommend a few sisters who would work well with you and with the young women.

Think about recommending women who have life skills they could share, whose testimonies and experiences would help young women transition into womanhood. And then let’s talk about it.

As soon as we have extended all the calls to your counselors, we would like to set you apart as a presidency. Brother Jensen, you would be invited to be with us. And before you leave tonight, I’d like to give you some materials that you are going to need. I am sure you have lots of questions going through your mind.

Sister Jensen: I do.

Bishop Barker: This will help you. I’m going to have my counselor Brother Franks get in communication with you. He will have regular monthly meetings with you. He will be able to go over any questions that you may have.

Thank you for your time.

Discussion—Elements of the Calling

Sister Tanner: That brought back memories. There is something sacred and never to be forgotten about a call to serve the Lord.

Let’s look at some of the key elements of this interview. First, the bishop was warm, caring, and loving. It was really obvious that he knew these people and loved them; he respected their commitment to the gospel. Second, he had prepared beforehand by holding a worthiness interview and ensuring that Sister Jensen’s family circumstances permitted her to serve. He emphasized the family just like President Faust has taught us today. He asked about the children. He commended Sister Jensen’s commitment in her home when he said, “You’re raising a great family” All our families are imperfect, but I think this new president came [p.11] away feeling hope and confidence in her responsibility of raising a family.

I remember when I was called, my husband, John, reaffirmed his love for me and his support for me in my calling. He was saying that to a priesthood leader, but it was so important for me, his wife, to hear.

Sister Menlove: It is so important to feel the support of family. And there’s one more point. The bishop made sure that Sister Jensen had the necessary handbooks and materials and arranged for a regular meeting between her and a bishopric counselor.

Sister Parkin: It is important that you get the handbook. And then that regular meeting time needs to be there. Remember, too, the great value of stake auxiliary leaders and auxiliary presidencies. They can help train the new ward presidency so that they can do the work that needs to go forward.

What stood out the very most in my mind about what we just saw was when the bishop said, “The Lord has prepared you for this in your home.” What we do in our homes and in the Church to invite the Spirit, to teach the gospel, and to live the standards influences the lives of generations to come. This work we are doing is all about redeeming God’s children. It is about parents. It is about families. It is about widows, single sisters, youth, and converts.

Sister Tanner: We really are called to serve each person. When we receive a call, it is vital to voice acceptance of the call and then receive direction and vision from a priesthood leader. I know I felt so overwhelmed and unequal to my call to the Young Women presidency but I did say “I have a testimony and I can work hard.”

President Hinckley gave me clear direction. He was obviously very concerned about the young women of the Church. He said, “We cannot let them fall through the cracks.” And then I knew what it was he wanted me to accomplish. It’s that direction, that vision, and that guidance that is important to an auxiliary officer.

Sister Menlove: I was impressed by the direction given by the bishop. When I was called to serve in the Primary, I received direction from one of my priesthood leaders to represent the prophet, his teachings, and his revelations to the leaders and the children of the Church. I feel such a sacred responsibility to fulfill that assignment.

Sister Parkin: I think everyone who receives a call believes he or she doesn’t have the skills to do it. Every one of us feels like that. I specifically remember that when President Hinckley called me, he said, “I want you to know that the Brethren have confidence in you. We all agree that the Lord has called you, and He will help you do this.” To know that the Lord has called you makes all the difference in the service that you give. As President Monson often says, “Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.”[2]

Sister Menlove: That is so true. When you know that the Lord has called you, then you know He will continue to inspire you and He will help you succeed.

Sister Tanner: That’s right. That interview was also important because it established a trust between the bishop and the new president. When you feel that the Lord has confidence in you and your priesthood leader has confidence in you and your family is supporting you, then you can go forward.

We know what President Hinckley says, “Do the best you can.” And then he says, “Be a little better than you have been.” And you come away saying, “Yes! I can do that.”

Sister Parkin: Now let’s look at the next vignette, about a Relief Society presidency meeting. Let’s watch what the sisters do to make this meeting effective.

Vignette 2—Presidency Meeting

Sister Call: Thank you, Sister Yamada, for that beautiful prayer. The Spirit touched me deeply as you spoke.

Sister Jenkins, you have the scripture thought today.

Sister Jenkins: I do. I know that as a presidency we have talked about unity and working as one. When I was studying my scriptures this morning, I came across something that Father Lehi said. It struck me deeply and I thought, “I have got to share this with you.” He said, “Be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things” (2 Nephi 1:21). It made such an impression on me. I liked the emphasis on “determined” and on “united” and on being of one mind and of one heart. Sometimes I choose my own way and it draws me away from being of one mind and one heart, but I want you to know, Sister Call, that I’ve made it my goal to support you all the way because I know that you support our bishop. That way we can all be knit together and have unity and love within our presidency and with our sisters. [p.12]

Sister Call: Thank you for those tender thoughts. When we are unified, the Lord can work miracles through us. I appreciate the support the three of you give me. I trust you. I trust your judgment and your inspiration.

The most pressing issue on today’s agenda is discussing the bishop’s directive—how we can help parents teach moral standards to our youth.

Sister Barber, I know you’ve been working on this.

Sister Barber: Our committee for home, family and personal enrichment has really come up with some great ideas. The first one is that they want to have the Primary leaders teach some of the Relief Society sisters what they call “My Gospel Standards.” Here’s one of them: “I will dress modestly to show respect for Heavenly Father and myself.”[3]

We thought about maybe having a class where the sisters teach the young girls how to make a skirt. We thought that would be a really good idea. Another one of the ideas that the committee suggested was to invite some of the young women to discuss their Personal Progress plans.

I read through the Personal Progress book, and I came across the Choice and Accountability value. In here it says, “List in your journal each standard of righteous behavior the [For the Strength of Youth] pamphlet outlines, and record why it is important to live those standards.”[4]

We could have a great panel discussion with some of the sisters and the young women about television music, books, and other media.

Sister Call: Sister Jenkins.

Sister Jenkins: You know, I think that’s a great idea, because when my grandchildren come over I’ll have a knowledge of what they’re learning and can discuss some of these things with them. They will think I am really up to speed.

Sister Call: Sister Yamada.

Sister Yamada: I could give the committee a list of all the mothers who have daughters in Young Women, and mothers and daughters can participate together.

Sister Call: Great ideas. I think we’re getting there. I will take these ideas to the bishop when I have my regular meeting this month. We’ve got to keep in mind ways, as President Hinckley asked us in October conference, to help lighten the load of our bishop.[5] Let’s always keep that in mind.

Before we conclude, I have a simple request. When you go home today will you thank your families? Thank them for their support. And thank them from me. Tell them that in evening prayers in our home, my husband and I pray for all of you.

Discussion—Trust, Unity, and the Spirit

Sister Parkin: In any presidency there needs to he unity and trust. You need to counsel together, and you need to feel the Spirit of the Lord with what you do. You need to follow the direction of priesthood leaders, and you need to focus on helping families. All these things were at work in this meeting.

Sister Menlove: I love your thought about families. When we were called as a new presidency we talked about sharing our experiences with our families whenever possible. Our family has enjoyed an abundance of blessings as a result of my calling, including a greater understanding that prayers are answered. Our family has prayed and fasted for me and for the work that I’ve been asked to do. They support and encourage me because they know that this is the Lord’s work.

Sister Parkin: It makes such a difference in a presidency meeting that before you start to address all the challenges and issues, you have a prayer together. Prayer brings a unity and a love, because if you listen to a sister pray, I really believe you know her heart differently. Reading a verse of scripture and applying it to the work invites the Spirit in a presidency meeting. And the Spirit guides you. In our presidency we are also studying the words of the prophet from the general conference. We know that if we keep the words of the prophet in front of us, we’ll be able to do what we need to do. So first we prepare spiritually and very often we go to the handbook. It’s a guide for us.

Sister Tanner: We do the same in our meeting. When you start with a prayer and a scripture, you invite the Spirit. We trust in the Lord then, and we trust in each other. By inviting that Spirit, we will receive the vision and the inspiration to know where it is that we need to go.

Sister Parkin: I remember President Hinckley saying to me, “I want you to recommend counselors who are women of faith, and I want unity in your presidency.” Every time I sit with my counselors I feel such a reassurance. The Lord called these women, and I value their counsel. We strive to make all our decisions together, with the help of the Lord. There is sacred power in presidencies. You’ve felt it; I’ve felt it.

Sister Menlove: There is. And that’s the pattern we follow when we meet with priesthood leaders as well. We share our thoughts and our recommendations with priesthood leaders just as counselors assist a president. [p.13]

Sister Parkin: You noticed that the presidency worked from an agenda, just a simple list of items to be discussed. The agenda created order, and it moved them through the meeting. That needs to happen. An agenda helps you stay focused, and it helps you use that time wisely Time is so important to us. And I love the part where you leave with action items. You know what you’re going to do. You’ve got an assignment. Therefore, go and do.

Sister Menlove: And sisters and brothers need to use the existing programs, tools, and resources provided by the Church. We don’t need to go out and create another program.

Sister Parkin: You’re right. In Relief Society, for example, we have home, family and personal enrichment. We have visiting teaching. We have Sunday lessons. We have welfare. We just need to use what’s already in place to follow the direction of priesthood leaders.

Sister Tanner: That’s right. We’ve got great programs that assist us.

I was reading in the recent conference edition of the Ensign. It was the talk President Hinckley gave at the priesthood session when he invited every member of the Church to do all that he or she can to lift the burden under which our bishops and branch presidents labor.”[6]

I think some of the ways that we can do that is to communicate with them and report our progress. I especially love that President Hinckley mentioned that we thank our priesthood leaders and pray for them.

Sister Parkin: I just want to bring up one more thing that I think is really important as you work in presidencies. In a presidency you need to keep confidences. Indiscretions can ruin lives. It is so important that the information discussed in that private, individual room where you’re together in that meeting stays there. It is that attitude, “Your name is safe in my home.” Keeping confidences builds unity, and it builds trust. We have to keep focused on our purpose to help individuals come unto Jesus Christ.

Sister Menlove: There is one more vignette, and it is in Spanish. It’s a Primary presidency reporting back to their priesthood leader. Watch for the accountability and the willingness to help the bishop.

Vignette 3—Counseling Together

Sister Vasquez: My counselors and I really appreciated meeting with the bishopric last month. Now we have a few things we would like to discuss with you. First, we’re very excited about what happened in Primary last Sunday. Alicia Gonzalez spoke, and her mother, Angela, came to hear her. We hadn’t seen Angela in church for a long time. She had tears in her eyes as she listened. I think she felt something.

It is so clear to me that children can reach their parents spiritually in a way no one else can.

Brother Torres: Thank you. I’ll tell the bishop. He will be very excited. He may want to share it with the family’s home teachers and Angela’s visiting teachers.

Sister Vasquez: Thank you. You are probably aware that Sister Benites and her family are moving, which means we need a new nursery leader. We have been thinking of two sisters—Maria Hernandez and Gloria Gonzalez. We think that either of them would be a good choice. When we prayed, we felt good about them both.

Brother Torres: They are good sisters. I’ll write down their names and share these recommendations in our bishopric meeting this week. I will call you back and let you know what the bishop thinks.

Sister Vasquez: Thank you. It is so important for the children—particularly the little ones—that all the teachers be called. With new families moving in, we also have an updated list of children who are preparing for baptism. We have a copy for the bishopric. Also, we would like to invite you to come to sharing time one of these Sundays. Our subject is why we live gospel standards and how they help us feel joy and peace.

Brother Torres: Certainly. I should be able to come on the third Sunday. I would also like to visit briefly the 8-to-11-year-old class.

Sister Vasquez: That would be wonderful. It is so helpful when a member of the bishopric visits; many of the children don’t have priesthood leadership in their homes. Your little Jose and Marcia will be excited too.

Brother Torres: I’ll make sure it’s okay with the bishop, but I think you can count on me.

Sister Vasquez: We’ve been thinking about the bishop’s request for us to help parents teach moral values. What if we focus on “My Gospel Standards” with the older Primary children? We can teach them that living these [p.14] standards will prepare them to live the principles in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.

Would it be possible to ask home teachers and visiting teachers to reinforce the standard, “I will only read and watch things that are pleasing to Heavenly Father"?[7] As you know; the media is such a challenge for children today.

Brother Torres: That’s a great idea. I’ll bring it up in our next ward council, and you can be ready to share the idea in that meeting.

Sister Vasquez: I will. Thank you.

Discussion—Reporting and Accountability

Sister Menlove: A regular meeting with a priesthood leader is an opportunity to account for what we’ve been asked to do.

Sister Parkin: I love that the Primary president started out with a success story. Just last week we met with our priesthood leader, and we shared one of our little miracles with him. I think it brought him renewed strength. I saw him respond to it, and it was really joyous to watch. We are assisting him, and he is so invested in what we are doing in this great work.

Sister Tanner: Exactly. I think a priesthood leader is entitled to know about successes because he loves these people too and is working for them. When we share these with him, it is one of the ways we assist him. It works.

Sister Menlove: It does work. And the interaction with this Primary presidency and the bishopric member shows a great deal of mutual respect. You can tell that they worked together often. In this meeting they aren’t going to waste time. They have prayed and they have planned. The sisters came prepared. They were ready with recommendations.

Sister Tanner: Yes, and I also think they understood the order of the Church. The presidency makes recommendations with names for callings, and they trust the Lord will confirm to the bishopric whom He has prepared to serve in that calling.

Sister Menlove: I also appreciated how the bishopric member planned to visit Primary. That shows his love for the children, and it shows the importance of that auxiliary in the Church. He has been there before, you can tell, and he is interested in what is happening with the 11-year-olds. There is joy in knowing that you aren’t serving alone. We are helping priesthood leaders and parents—especially parents—teach children the gospel.

The Blessings of a Calling

Sister Tanner: What I like about all these vignettes is I feel like they have shown the right way to do things in the Church. When we are out training, often people will ask us questions. And when we respond, we ask questions back. We say “Have you prayed and taken it to the Lord? What do your priesthood leaders counsel you to do? What does the handbook tell you?” These are three sure guides to success as we strive to serve the Lord.

Sister Parkin: When you serve, you are promised blessings, and I want you to know that I’ve experienced those blessings. I testify of them. I’ve experienced them. I know that they are real. My family has been blessed because of my calling.

Today we’ve highlighted some of the essentials of serving in the auxiliaries. Think about some of the things we’ve talked about. We’ve talked about trust. We’ve talked about unity accountability, and joy. We’ve talked about assisting priesthood leaders in helping families and individuals come unto Jesus Christ. This work is about love for each other and, most of all, love for the Lord. Being with you today has been such a blessing for us. We live and we serve all over the world, and yet we are all united in the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is extraordinary. Now we’d just like to close with our testimonies. Sister Menlove.

Sister Menlove: A call to serve is a sacred trust from the Lord. It is an opportunity to feel the Savior’s love in greater depth—His love for us and His love for those we serve. My family has been so blessed by priesthood and auxiliary leaders who love the Lord.

I have felt such great joy as I have witnessed your love for the children and their families. I am grateful for the desires of your hearts that all, including children, come to know that we have a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers our prayers and that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer.

I know that His gospel was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith and that the heavens are open and that we have a living prophet today, President Gordon B. Hinckley. I know this to be true. I know this through a witness of the Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sister Tanner: I am so grateful for the privilege of assisting the priesthood in the wonderful work of strengthening families and helping them come unto Christ. It is such a blessing for me to see the Lord’s hand in all that we do and to know that He loves and cares for each of us individually. I know the [p.15] Lord calls us to serve and He magnifies us in that service, no matter how weak and simple we may feel we are.

It is a rich blessing to watch young women grow and progress into womanhood, prepared to fulfill their most sacred roles in their homes and families. I know that families are “central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”[8]

I know that Jesus Christ lives, that He loves us, and that we have His restored gospel upon the earth today with apostles and prophets and all the priesthood keys to seal families to each other and to the Lord.

I testify of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sister Parkin: We serve in three separate auxiliaries, but we love serving together. We love each other.

I have a testimony of the power of a prophet of God, President Gordon B. Hinckley. I am thankful for him, for his love, and for all priesthood leaders who have shown confidence in the sisters in this Church.

As we have talked about the work of auxiliaries, I have thought so much about how the Lord loves the women of His Church. I believe He loves their willingness to serve in any capacity; they desire simply to serve Him. If I could have only one thing happen for the women of the Church, it would be that they know that the Lord loves them and that they feel His love in their lives daily.

I personally have felt the Lord’s love in my life, and I am so thankful for that. I testify of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know He lives. I have felt His guidance, and I have felt the peace that He promises to every one of us.

I testify of these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. In Conference Report, Oct. 2003, 85: or Ensign, Nov. 2003, 82.

2. In Conference Report. Apr. 1996, 62; or Ensign, May 1996, 44.

3. Faith in God for Boys (2003), 22; or Faith in God for Girls (2003), 22.

4. Young Women Personal Progress (2001), 41.

5. In Conference Report, Oct. 2003, 65: or Ensign, Nov. 2003, 60.

6. In Conference Report, Oct. 2003, 65.

7. Faith in God for Boys, 22; or Faith in God for Girls, 22.

8. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The Priesthood and the Auxiliaries
[p.16]
Fundamental Principles

Greetings from the Republic of the Philippines, where we are working to establish the Church in the only Christian nation in Asia. Because of rapid growth, we have over 200,000 first-generation members of the Church and many new and inexperienced leaders. In this circumstance we must focus on fundamental principles of Church doctrine and government.

As I speak of these fundamentals, I am joined by five of our Philippine leaders, whom I have asked to be my immediate audience. Each of them represents thousands of others with similar responsibilities in this great audience of priesthood and auxiliary leaders. My associates are a stake president, Raul Edgardo Vicencio, of our Makati Stake; a bishop, Michael Ramirez, from our Cainta Stake; a Relief Society president, Filipina Fernandez, from our Pasay Stake; a Young Women president, Liza Enciso from our Quezon City South Stake; and a Primary president, Grace Teh, from our Antipolo Stake. Thanks to all of you for your presence here and for your wonderful service.

Our subject is the priesthood and the auxiliaries, but we cannot speak of either of these subjects without speaking also of the family. We will be making frequent reference to the family, which is both the foundation and the intended beneficiary of the work of the priesthood and the auxiliaries.

We begin by affirming three fundamental doctrinal principles. First, both the Church and the eternal family are presided over by priesthood authority The government and the procedures of the Church and the family are different, but the foundation of authority—the priesthood—is the same.

Second, the Church organization and the family organization support one another. Each is independent in its own sphere, but each has the same mission—to help accomplish God’s purpose to bring to pass the eternal life of His children (see Moses 1:39).

Third, the Latter-day Saint family and the Church both draw their nourishment and their direction from our Lord Jesus Christ. The Savior taught, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Here is a branch, which I gathered on my way to this meeting. What happens to this branch now that it has been separated from the main vine? Obviously, it will die. It certainly cannot bear fruit. As Jesus taught: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me” (John 15:4). If the Church of Jesus Christ and the family are to bear fruit, they must abide in our Savior, Jesus Christ. The same is true of each of their members. This means that all of us must keep His commandments and follow His teachings and His appointed servants.

The Origins of Three Auxiliaries

The First Presidency has told us: “The family and the home are the foundation of the righteous life.... The Church auxiliaries are organized to assist the individual, the family and the priesthood in realizing divine expectations.”[1]

[p.17] Let us look at the origin and mission of each of these three auxiliaries.

The Relief Society was organized by the Prophet Joseph Smith in Nauvoo in 1842. Some leading women of Nauvoo proposed a written constitution, but the Prophet said he would give them “something better—he would organize them “under the priesthood after the pattern of the priesthood.”[2]

This organization would be for spiritual purposes, “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls.”[3] The Prophet said, “The organization of the Church … was never perfect until the women were organized.”[4] The organization of the Relief Society gave women an official capacity in the Church and helped prepare them for great responsibilities to come, including working in the temple and teaching the gospel.

What we now call Young Women was organized by President Brigham Young about 30 years later to give young women increased opportunities to learn the gospel and develop greater strength to keep the commandments and reject the destructive ways of the world. The new organization soon became known by a name that stated its purpose: the Young Women’s Mutual Improvement Association.

About 10 years later, under President John Taylor, the necessity to teach children the gospel was recognized in the organization of what was called the Primary Association.

At about this same time, the needs of young men to learn the gospel, to serve, and to prepare for the Melchizedek Priesthood caused them to begin to be ordained and organized into quorums of the Aaronic Priesthood.

Parents and Church Leaders

The scriptures command us to “put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11). Modern revelation describes this armor as including the covering of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation (see D&C 27: 16-18). Children and youth must be fitted out with that armor.

The sacred duty of fitting children and youth with the armor of God is given to fathers and mothers and other family members, assisted by the priesthood and auxiliary organizations of the Church.

Directed by Priesthood Authority

In performing their vital tasks, the Relief Society, the Young Women, the Primary and the quorums of the Aaronic Priesthood work under the direction of priesthood authority. Many years ago the First Presidency declared, “We wish … to have it clearly understood that all auxiliary associations operate under the direct presidency and supervision of stake and ward priesthood authorities, who carry the ultimate responsibility for the work of these organizations.”[5]

This means that all who work in the auxiliary organizations must have hands placed upon their heads to give them the authority to lead and teach in the kingdom of God. It also means that the priesthood authorities who preside over the auxiliary organizations must direct and supervise their work. Stake presidents and bishops and branch presidents must not just turn the work of the auxiliaries over to auxiliary leaders and teachers to do whatever they choose to do.

The work of the auxiliaries, like the work of quorums and other Church organizations, is to strengthen the family and the home, as Elder Scott reminded us earlier. Melchizedek Priesthood quorums and Relief Societies do this primarily by teaching parents, “exhorting them to … attend to all family duties,” the Lord said in a revelation (D&C 20:51; see also v. 47).

The Young Women and the Primary strengthen the family and the home principally by teaching youth and children and by leading them in appropriate activities.

Like parents, Church leaders and teachers are under the Lord’s command to teach from the scriptures, “in the which is the fulness of the gospel” (D&C 42:12). This divine mission can be accomplished only if auxiliary leaders and teachers seek and follow priesthood direction and if priesthood leaders provide leadership, understanding, and support for auxiliary programs.

Application of Principles

Now let us speak of some practical application of these principles to the varying conditions of a worldwide Church. In the Church Handbook of Instructions, stake presidents and bishops are directed to meet regularly with their Relief Society presidents.[6] Their assigned counselors are directed to meet regularly with the presidents of the Young Women and Primary.[7] Brethren, the duty to meet regularly means more than meeting once a year.

Similarly the bishopric is directed to meet with all three of these auxiliary presidents at least monthly in the ward council meeting. There the bishopric instructs them on doctrine and duties. There the priesthood and auxiliary leaders counsel together on how to improve gospel instruction and activities in the ward and how to strengthen individuals and families spiritually.[8]

If priesthood leaders do not meet with auxiliary leaders, or if priesthood [p.18] leaders do not adequately direct and supervise auxiliary programs, the teachings or activities of the auxiliaries can depart from what the Lord has commanded. The same deviations can occur if auxiliary leaders are not faithful in following the direction of their priesthood leaders.

For example, I have observed deviations like the following, either here in the Philippines or in other places in the world:

1. I have heard auxiliary leaders grieve that their bishops or branch presidents never meet with them. This failure violates the fundamental directions to “meet regularly” which I quoted just a moment ago. It is imperative that priesthood leaders hold those regular meetings with the auxiliary leaders, as we have just seen modeled in the vignette the general presidents discussed. Auxiliary presidents should also be invited to ward councils, which should he held at least monthly.

2. I have also heard auxiliary officers grieve that their priesthood leaders do not call or set apart auxiliary officers and teachers. “They don’t care about us,” is the impression given. It is imperatice that priesthood leaders are diligent in calling the needed auxiliary leaders, as we have just seen modeled in the other video vignette the sisters discussed.

3. I have seen Primary children placed in a single room for Sunday morning treats and entertainment. That is not Primary. Primary is teaching children the gospel with music and spiritual messages and the having spiritual stimulation of sharing time.

4. Young Women and Aaronic Priesthood holders might be offered nothing but weekly boredom in a classroom or unplanned midweek activities like playing basketball or roaming around a shopping mall or chattering in the chapel. That kind of Mutual activity does not measure up to the standard of inspired teaching and activities planned with a purpose.

5. I have seen some teachers in Relief Society and priesthood classes teaching their own hobbies or preoccupations instead of the subjects designated by an inspired curriculum for these classes.

6. Without firm and inspired priesthood dlirection, any Church organization (or activity) can be turned into a personal possession to fill the needs or gratify the pride or vain ambition (sec D&C 121:37) of its officers and teachers. This is what the Apostle Paul cautioned against when he told the Roman Saints to avoid those who “cause[d] divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which [they] have learned.” Even though such persons use “good words and fair speeches,” he cautioned, they “deceive the hearts of the simple” and “serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly” (Romans 16:17 18).

Adapted to Circumstances

The organization and work of our Church auxiliaries are defined in the Church Handbook of Instructions. Let us consider how these handbook directions are to be applied.

The full auxiliary organizations and the full auxiliary programs outlined in the handbook are the ideal. However, in a worldwide Church, including some branches and wards here in the Philippines, there are circumstances where only part of this can be done.

We must remember that circumstances and resources are very different in different parts of the world. For example, in some locations our Church members have many resources of time and transportation for Church activities. These resource-rich locations are not free from opposition, however, because in these locations many outside opportunities compete for the attention of our members. In other locations our members work long hours six days a week, or they can barely afford to pay the cost of public transportation to Church meetings. In these locations there may be few competing opportunities, but the shortage of resources makes midweek meetings and activities difficult or impossible.

Our Church auxiliaries have greater flexibility on organizations and programs than priesthood organizations. For example, the scriptures give no latitude to deviate from priesthood ordinances (like the sacrament or the temple) or to depart from priesthood organizations like quorums and branches, wards, and stakes. Similarly there is no latitude in the requirement of marriage of a man and a woman to provide the government of the family. These priesthood ordinances and organizations must be uniform worldwide.

In contrast, the auxiliaries that support these priesthood organizations are more flexible in how they are organized and in which activities they carry out to provide their support. Their flexibility of course, must be exercised under the direction of their priesthood leaders.

Elder L. Tom Perry gave us a good example of this a year ago in the first worldwide leadership training meeting. His instructions about flexibility in organizations and activities apply with particular force to the auxiliaries. You remember his teaching us that priesthood leaders should take an inventory of the needs of the members and the number of active leaders in a unit—ward or branch. Then, he said, “build your program based on the leadership available and the [p.19] needs of your members.… Grow only as fast as the size and maturity of your unit permit.”[9] This teaching has been of great benefit to us here in the Philippines. As it is understood and applied, I am sure it will be of great benefit in many other locations where there are small and struggling branches and wards.

President Hinckley has given us the basic principle to guide all of us in the many different circumstances we face: “Do the best that you can. That is all we ask of you,” he said. “Do the best that you can. The Lord doesn’t expect you to do more than that. Just do the very best you can.”[10]

Brothers and sisters, the priesthood of God is the foundation of authority in the Church and the family. This authority governs and serves both men and women. The scriptures teach that the man is not without the woman nor the woman without the man in the Lord (see 1 Corinthians 11:11). So it is in the Church and in the family. We must move forward, hand-in-hand, working together in the great mission of our Heavenly Father, to bring to pass the eternal life of man. I testify of the truth of these things and of the divinity of our Savior, Jesus Christ, whose Atonement and whose authority make it all possible, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. First Presidency letter, Dec. 7, 1990.

2. In Jill Mulvay Derr and others, Women of Covenant: The Story of Relief Society (1992), 27.

3. History of the Church, 5:25.

4. In Derr, Women of Covenant, 41.

5. First Presidency letter, Jan. 13, 1923.

6. See Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Priesthood and Auxiliary Leaders (1998), 194, 196.

7. See Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, 216, 229-30, 231.

8. See Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, 317.

9. “Basic Unit Program,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 2003, 9.

10. American Fork Utah, regional conference, Aug. 25, 2002.

President Gordon B. Hinckley
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Standing Strong and Immovable
[p.20]
Stemming the Tide

My beloved brethren and sisters, this has been a very interesting and a very important meeting. It has dealt essentially with the work of the auxiliary organizations led by the women. As has been indicated, there are, of course, two other auxiliary organizations—the Young Men and the Sunday School. These will be dealt with at another time.

But this present emphasis on the work of the Relief Society the Young Women, and the Primary is timely and very much needed. No one need tell you that we are living in a very difficult season in the history of the world. Standards are dropping everywhere. Nothing seems to be sacred any more.

As President Faust has indicated, the family appears to be falling apart. The traditional family is under heavy attack. I do not know that things were worse in the times of Sodom and Gomorrah. At that season, Abraham bargained with the Lord to save these cities for the sake of the righteous. Notwithstanding his pleas, things were so bad that Jehovah decreed their destruction. They and their wicked inhabitants were annihilated. We see similar conditions today. They prevail all across the world. I think our Father must weep as He looks down upon His wayward sons and daughters.

In the Church we are working very hard to stem the tide of this evil. But it is an uphill battle, and we sometimes wonder whether we are making any headway. But we are succeeding in a substantial way. We see so many of our youth who are faithful and true and who look to us for encouragement and direction.

We must not give up. We must not become discouraged. We must never surrender to the forces of evil. We can and must maintain the standards for which this Church has stood since it was organized. There is a better way than the way of the world. If it means standing alone, we must do it.

But we shall not be alone. I am confident that there are millions of people throughout the world who grieve over the evil they see about them. They love the virtuous, the good, and the uplifting. They too will raise their voices and give of their strength to the preservation of those values which are worthy of maintenance and cultivation.

A Bright Hope

It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord. I am convinced there is no other organization anywhere to match the Relief Society of this Church. It has a membership of more than five million women across the earth. If they will be united and speak with one voice, their strength will be incalculable.

We call upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities.

They must be the teachers and the guardians of their daughters. Those daughters must be taught in the Primary and in the classes of the Young Women of the values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When you save a girl, you save generations. She will grow in strength and righteousness. She will marry in the house of the Lord. She will teach her children the ways of truth. They will walk in her paths and will similarly teach their children. Wonderful grandmothers will be there to lend encouragement.

I see this as the one bright shining hope in a world that is marching toward self-destruction.

To you stake presidents and bishops, we plead with you to give encouragement and help in every [p.21] possible way to the women and the girls of your stakes and wards. They need your priesthood backing. They need your leadership and counsel. Help them in every way that you can, and while doing so you will help yourselves.

For instance, it is imperative that bishops work closely with Relief Society presidents in administering Church welfare. This is normally accomplished in the monthly ward welfare committee meeting or, on occasion, in the ward council meeting. But emergencies arise, or there may be circumstances where greater confidentiality is required, in which case the bishop and the Relief Society president should consult together. Wherever there is material need in a family the Relief Society president is best qualified to go into the home and assess the family’s needs.

The Strength of Women

We frequently speak of the strength of the priesthood, and properly so. But we must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is mothers who set the tone of the home. It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. It is mothers who teach infants to pray, who read to them choice and beautiful literature from the scriptures and other sources. It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount.

President Heber J. Grant went so far as to say “Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers this Church would die.”[1]

The writer of Proverbs said, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

It is a true saying that “as the twig is bent, so the tree is inclined.”

We frequently speak of our wives as the better half. It is essentially true. They are the creators of life. They are the nurturers of children. They are the teachers of young women. They are our indispensable companions. They are our co-workers in building the kingdom of God. How great is their role, how marvelous their contribution. How they add to the luster of life.

Prayer and Work

We have a greater challenge than we realize. As Paul declared, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).

Never lose sight of the great reassuring power of the Atonement of the Savior to lift and save. Through that Atonement comes forgiveness for past offenses and strength for righteous living.

I have been quoted as saying, “Do the best you can.” But I want to emphasize that it be the very best. We are too prone to be satisfied with mediocre performance. We are capable of doing so much better.

Brethren and sisters, we must get on our knees and plead with the Lord for help and strength and direction. We must then stand on our feet and move forward.

I am absolutely confident that heaven will smile upon us. The Lord will hear and answer our prayers if we will commit ourselves, giving our very best to this work.

I pray for you. I plead with heaven in your behalf. I thank you one and all for all you are doing and pray that you may have the strength to do more as we face the great, almost overwhelming challenge that comes with life in our time.

God bless you is my humble prayer as I express my love, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham (1941), 151.

June 19, 2004
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: The Bishopric and the Aaronic Priesthood

- Pres. Thomas S. Monson: The Bishop and the Spiritual and Temporal Well-Being of the Saints

- Elders M. Russell Ballard & Henry B. Eyring: To Bless, Inspire, and Lift

- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland & Bishop H. David Burton: Bishops and the Aaronic Priesthood

- Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley: To the Bishops of the Church

President Thomas S. Monson
First Counselor in the First Presidency

The Bishop and the Spiritual and Temporal Well-Being of the Saints
[p.1]
The Work of a Bishop

Brethren, I am grateful for the opportunity to address the topic “The Bishop and the Spiritual and Temporal Well-Being of the Saints.”

I was born on a Sunday morning, August 21, 1927. I am told that on that day, my father visited my mother after my delivery and advised her that a new bishop, Richard D. Andrew, had been sustained in our ward—the Sixth-Seventh Ward of the Pioneer Stake. Mother said to my father, as she handed me to him, “Well, I have a new bishop for you!” Little did she realize that 22 years later, her prediction would come to fulfillment when I was called to serve as the bishop of the same Sixth-Seventh Ward on May 7, 1950.

Many years later, President Harold B. Lee described my service as a bishop. President Lee served as a member of the board of Union Pacific Corporation. At one time, during their board meeting in Salt Lake City, the other board members indicated they wanted to meet the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve. Brother Lee became their spokesman in the First Presidency’s council room, and after explaining the roles of the First Presidency and the Twelve, he asked if there were any questions. One board member said, “Tell me—how does a man go about becoming an Apostle?”

We all wondered how Brother Lee would answer the question. He thought for a moment and then replied, “Well, you take Elder Monson there. He is our newest Apostle. Brother Monson, how old were you when you were called to he a bishop?”

I answered, “Twenty-two.”

Brother Lee asked, “How long were you a bishop?”

I replied, “Five years.

He then asked, “How many members were in your ward?”

I responded, “A thousand and eighty.”

Finally he queried, “How many widows were in your ward?”

I said, “Eighty-seven, and we had the largest welfare load in the Church.”

Then he said, “I know that ward, since as a very young man I presided over the Pioneer Stake. In that particular ward, the bishop in one year gains the equivalent experience of five years in any other ward. Therefore, Brother Monson has had twenty-five years’ experience as a bishop.” The Union Pacific man said, “Oh, I understand.” I don’t know whether he understood or not, but let me say that I did.

Not long after I was called as a bishop, Elder Harold B. Lee, then of the Quorum of the Twelve, attended our stake conference. In the priesthood leadership session, he said to the stake president, “I see some young bishops here, and I would like to direct my remarks tonight to the duties of a bishop. Could you provide a chalkboard?” He then began a masterful discourse on the responsibilities of a bishop and provided instructions pertaining to each of these responsibilities.

On the chalkboard he drew a heading—"Bishop.” He drew five circles representing the bishop’s responsibilities.

With audience participation, he filled in each circle with the appropriate heading. He wrote in the first circle “Presiding High Priest” and “Father of the Ward.” The second circle was “Aaronic Priesthood,” and the third circle was “Care of the [p.2] Needy.” The next circle was “Finances,” and the last circle was “Common Judge.”

Years later, when I was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, the First Presidency asked me to chair the Leadership Training Committee. I retrieved my notes of Brother Lee’s presentation from 13 years before regarding the duties of a bishop, showed the notes to Brother Lee and in due time a presentation was carried to every stake of the Church by each General Authority as he visited stake conferences that year.

I should like this morning to elaborate on each of these five responsibilities.

Presiding High Priest

First, presiding high priest and father of the ward. From the Apostle Paul, in his letter to Timothy, we have a description of the requirements of a bishop: “A bishop … must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; not given to wine, no bully], … not a brawler, not covetous; one that ruleth well his own house.… Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without” (1 Timothy 3:2 4, 7).

In his letter to Titus, Paul states: “A bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry,… holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers” (Titus 1:7, 9).

As of May 31, 2004, there were 18,641 bishops in the Church. One of the titles of these bishops is “Presiding High Priest.” As such, he presides at sacrament meeting, priesthood meeting, ward council meetings, and all other ward services and activities.

By these and other means, he watches over both the spiritual and temporal affairs of the ward. He is also responsible for the doctrine which is taught in the ward.

A bishop must know his people, their names, their circumstances, their challenges and goals, their abilities. A wise bishop knows the names of the children in the ward as well, and he remembers them on their birthdays. He also is mindful of the widow and those who, for whatever reason are not found as regular attenders in the meetings. He leads with kindness, patience, and genuine love. As he does so, the Lord magnifies him in the eyes of his people and brings forth opportunities for the less active to return to Church activity and to the fellowship of the ward family. Frequently the children will lead their parents back to Church activity and service.

In reaching out to his ward members, a bishop finds that the heavenly virtue of patience is required. As a bishop I felt prompted one day to call on a man whose wife was somewhat active, as were the children. This man, however, had never responded.

It was a hot summer’s day when I knocked on the screen door of Harold G. Gallacher. I could see Brother Gallacher sitting in his chair reading the newspaper. “Who is it?” he queried, without looking up.

“Your bishop,” I replied. “I’ve come to get acquainted and to urge your attendance with your family at our meetings.”

“No, I’m too busy,” came the disdainful response. He never looked up. I thanked him for listening and departed the doorstep.

The Gallacher family moved to California shortly thereafter, and the years went by Then, as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, I was working in my office one day when that same Brother Gallacher came to see me. We had a pleasant conversation together concerning his family He told me, “I’ve come to apologize for not getting out of my chair and letting you in the door that summer day long years ago.” During the conversation I asked him if he were active in the Church. With a smile he replied, “I’m second counselor in my ward! bishopric. Your invitation to come out to church and my negative response so haunted me that I determined to do something about it.”

Harold and I visited together on numerous occasions before he passed away. The Gallachers and their children have filled many callings in the Church.

The seeds of testimony frequently do not immediately take root and flower. Bread cast upon the water returns, at times, only after many days. But it does return.

Leading the Aaronic Priesthood

Second, the bishop is responsible for the Aaronic Priesthood. He, of course, is president of the Aaronic Priesthood in the ward, and hence his duty is to see that every boy is ordained a deacon at the right age, as well as a teacher, a priest, and an elder. The bishop cannot let these precious youth slip through his fingers. The two words “labor” and “love” will work wonders in achieving this objective. For those who are behind schedule, I leave the challenge, “Reach out to rescue.

Appoint as advisers to the Aaronic Priesthood quorums brethren who can relate to these young men—who can give them encouragement in the performance of their responsibilities and prepare them to serve at the sacrament table and as home teachers, in the case of teachers and priests, and to qualify for missions.

It is in these formative years that the course of a lifetime is determined. It is the time to instill within these young men a desire to “stay on the Lord’s side of the line,” as President George Albert Smith was known [p.3] to say.[1] A bishop himself must he on the Lord’s side of the line with them—an exemplar in keeping the commandments of God, presiding in righteousness in his own family.

A wise bishop will help to guide each Aaronic Priesthood holder to a spiritual awareness of the sacredness of his ordained calling. In our ward when I served as bishop, this lesson was effectively taught pertaining to the collection of fast offerings.

On fast day the ward members were visited by deacons and teachers so that each family could make a contribution. I observed that these young Aaronic Priesthood men were a bit disgruntled, having to arise earlier than usual to fulfill this Sunday morning assignment.

I received the inspiration to take these young deacons and teachers by bus to visit Welfare Square. Here they saw needy children receiving new shoes and other items of clothing. Here they witnessed empty baskets being filled with groceries. There was no money exchanged. One brief comment was made: “Young men, this is what the money you collect on fast day provides—even food, clothing, and shelter for those who have none.

The Aaronic Priesthood boys smiled more, stepped higher, and served more willingly in filling their assignments. I thought of the scripture, “Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days” (D&C 64:34).

In saving the young men, let us remember also the duty to bring to the Melchizedek Priesthood that vast army whom we call prospective elders. Where specific effort is put forth in the spirit of encouragement and invitation, the response can be overwhelmingly successful.

Caring for the Needy

Next in the responsibilities of the bishop is that of care of the needy.

In the ward where I served as a young bishop, the street addresses didn’t read like some: Colonial Hills Circle, Mountain View Estates, or Skyline Drive. Rather, they were noted as Orchard Place, Gale Street, Elford Court.

The ward was not east of the railroad tracks in Salt Lake City. It was not west of the railroad tracks. That ward boundary spanned the railroad tracks. Many of the widows and those in financial need were hidden away in basement apartments, upstairs back rooms, or dilapidated houses situated at the rear of little-known streets. I became the shepherd. This was my flock. I was reminded of God’s warning through Ezekiel: “Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that … feed not my flock” (Ezekiel 34:2-3).

Each year in December I took a week of my vacation to visit the widows in the ward. I enjoyed it thoroughly In fact, I continued my visits each December for 50 years—until just four years ago, when the last two of the widows passed away I believe I may have been more blessed even than they were by my visits, for I am a better man for having known and associated with them.

President J. Reuben Clark Jr., a long-time member of the First [p.4] Presidency summarized the bishop’s role in caring for the needy Said he:

“The bishop is … to ‘administer to the poor and … needy’; he is to search ‘after the poor to administer to their wants’ [D&C 42:34; 84:112; see also 107:68].

“Thus to the bishop is given all the powers, and responsibilities which the Lord has specifically prescribed in the Doctrine and Covenants for the caring of the poor. … No one else is charged with this duty and responsibility, no one else is endowed with the power and functions necessary for this work.

“Thus, by the word of the Lord the sole mandate to care for and the sole discretion in caring for the poor of the Church is lodged in the bishop. ... It is his duty and his only to determine to whom, when, how, and how much shall be given to any member of his ward from Church funds and as ward help.

“This is his high and solemn obligation, imposed by the Lord Himself The bishop cannot escape this duty; he cannot shirk it; he cannot pass it on to someone else, and so relieve himself Whatever help he calls in, he is still responsible.”[2]

This, of course, is done in accordance with approved procedures.

On one occasion a bishop from what was then the German Democratic Republic was visiting Salt Lake City for a once-in-a-lifetime experience. This fine man, who was small in stature, asked me if he could meet with President Spencer W Kimball. We were able to meet with President Kimball, who asked the bishop just one question: “Do your people have enough to eat?” The answer was affirmative. The bishop then said, “President Kimball, could I give you a hug?”

President Kimball responded with a smile, “It’s a pleasure to hug someone my own size!” And he hugged him.

Responsibility for Finances

Our next area in the responsibilities of the bishop is that of finances. The bishop is in charge of unit finances. He receives tithes and offerings, and he supervises the unit budget and expenditures. He is also to make certain that records are properly and appropriately kept. The bishop is the one who must determine how Church commodities and funds are used to provide for the temporal needs of the members.

Of course, the bishop uses the financial clerk to assist in this regard, as well as his counselors. But he is responsible to see that the tithes and offerings of the people are properly recorded so that there is order in all things.

In so doing, the bishop should not overlook the children, for they too want to contribute. After the Toronto Temple was announced and funds were being raised in order to build it, I was told of an experience of a 10-year-old boy named Jacob Fortin. How pleased young Jacob was to learn that this temple would be built. In his monthly contribution of tithing, small as it was, this young lad would designate 10 cents or 15 cents or whatever amount he had for the temple. His grandmother and his father and mother commended him for having spiritual thoughts and altruistic desires, hut they were not prepared for a later event. On Jacob’s 10th birthday, his grandmother gave him a 20-dollar bill. He was told he could do anything he wished with this gift, and it was left to him. He said nothing to them, but on fast Sunday as his father, a member of the bishopric, was going through the contributions of that day he noticed the contribution of his own 10-year-oldI son. There it was noted that Jacob, in addition to his tithing, had given the 20 dollars for the new temple.

He had given it all for the house of the Lord. His father asked! him, “Jacob, why did you put all 20 dollars in the envelope?” He replied, “This will be the Lord’s house, and I want His house to be beautiful.”

Closely allied to the responsibilities for finances is that of keeping accurate records. It is essential that we know how we’re doing and where we need improvement. This knowledge can come only if we keep attendance and related! records. I am a firm believer that where performance is measured, performance improves. Where performance is measured! and reported back, the rate of improvement accelerates

Common Judge

Our fifth and final responsibility of bishops is that of common judge. We read in Doctrine and Covenants, section 107:

“The office of a bishop is in administering all temporal things, to be a judge in Israel, to do the business of the church, to sit in judgment upon transgressors upon testimony as it shall be laid before him according to the laws, by the assistance of his counselors, whom he has chosen or will choose among the elders of the church.

“Thus shall he be a judge, even a common judge among the inhabitants of Zion, or in a stake of Zion, or in any branch of the church where he shall he set apart unto this ministry” (D&C 107:68, 72, 74).

In a message given in the general priesthood meeting last October, President Hinckley gave this instruction to bishops: “You cannot compromise your qualifications to sit as a common judge in Israel. It is a fearsome and awesome responsibility to stand as a judge of the people. You must be their judge in some instances as to worthiness to hold membership in the Church, worthiness to enter the house of the Lord, worthiness to be baptized, worthiness to receive the priesthood, worthiness to serve missions, worthiness to teach and to serve as officers in the organizations. You must be the judge of their eligibility in times of distress to receive help from the fast offerings of the people and commodities from the storehouse of the Lord.”[3]

When I was a teenager, my stake president was Paul C. Child. When I was called to be a bishop, I visited with him and asked, “President Child, as a former bishop and stake president, what advice do you have for me?”

He pondered for a moment and then said, “I suggest three things. First, take care of the poor. Second, have no favorites. And third, tolerate no iniquity.”

President Spencer W Kimball provided this wise counsel: when disciplining members of the Church for a transgression, make a bandage large enough to cover the wound—no larger and no smaller.[4]

May I summarize the duties of a bishop. He is the “Presiding High Priest” and “Father of the Ward.” He is the president of the “Aaronic Priesthood.” He is responsible for the “Care of the Needy.” He manages “Finances.” He is the “Common Judge.”

Lest a bishop feel overwhelmed with his responsibilities, let me stress that the Lord has provided help in the form of counselors, clerks, priesthood leaders, auxiliary leaders, home teachers, and visiting teachers. Others of the Brethren will address these topics in more detail.

May our Heavenly Father ever bless the bishops of the Church in their sacred and God-given responsibilities. Such were authored in heaven to bless in our clay each member of the Church.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. In Conference Report, Oct. 1945, 118.

2. “As to the Office of Bishop,” July 9, 1941, Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (MS 926), 3-4.

3. In Conference Report. Oct. 2003, 66; or Ensign, Nov 2003, 61.

4. See Faith Precedes the Miracle (1975), 178.

Elder M. Russell Ballard
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Elder Henry B. Eyring
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

To Bless, Inspire, and Lift
[p.6]
Elder Ballard: Brethren, we’re delighted to have the opportunity to be with you in this bishops’ meeting. Elder Eyring and I, of course, have traveled all over the world. We’ve had opportunity to meet with bishops and branch presidents in almost every circumstance you can think of, and our purpose today is going to be to visit with you and try to open a vision as to the tremendous opportunity a bishop has to bless and inspire and lift the lives of those who live within his ward or his branch.

Sometimes we can be so overwhelmed with the administrative side of being a bishop that we scramble for time to try to determine how to get it all done how to have time to do the kind of lifting and inspiring that our people really need today So our effort is going to be to have a discussion with you. We’re going to welcome any questions you have. Hopefully we’re going to be able to answer most of them. This should be very relaxed, and we encourage you to participate. Now, Brother Eyring, what would you like to counsel these bishops before we get started?

Elder Eyring: So much has already been taught about procedure, and we probably can’t add a great deal. There have been some marvelous presentations in the very kinds of sessions that we’re in here, where the broadcast has given great, great instruction. So we won’t add much to the detail, but maybe we can answer some of your questions about how to implement the instruction and particularly about the spiritual parts of what it takes to be the kind of bishop the Lord would have you be. So I think we can just begin.

Elder Ballard: As Elder Eyring mentioned, there are great materials. So as we have moved around, most of the questions that we get asked about administration are answered in the Church Handbook of Instructions and then supplemented with tremendous answers in the worldwide leadership training broadcasts. We’ve talked about this being a library

But there are those things that are in your hearts and minds that you might not find in any of this yet. Do you brethren have any questions that you would like to surface or anything you would like to talk about in our bishops’ meeting?

Scripture Study

Bishop: We are often very overwhelmed with things we have to do or that which we are not doing. And we recognize that you are very busy In a busy situation, how do you prepare yourself to receive the Spirit? Reading the scriptures is very important in a regular way Perhaps maybe you can give us a little insight on how you read the scriptures.

Elder Ballard: Let me tell you how I do it. And I’m not suggesting that this is the only way certainly But I find that if I read toward a subject that I want to enlighten my mind with, I get better focus out of the scriptures than if I just pick up and read the scriptures. For example, if I’m concerned about forgiveness or repentance or the [p.7] Atonement or any of these kinds of doctrinal issues, I can go to the topical guide, I can go to the resources, I can look at the cross-references on a subject, and I come away with some enlightenment on that subject because I study differently Now, I don’t know what you do—

Elder Eyring: The same. I’ve even gotten to where I now check the footnotes and find that I can learn more by seeing a related scripture from the footnotes as well as from the topical guide. I’d like to suggest—for me at least—that you need to have a regular time. It’s so easy for the scriptures to be crowded out. You probably need to have some sort of a discipline where you choose a moment or find a time. President Romney used to talk about how, before when he was in the law practice, you remember, he would always read in the morning as he arrived at the office. Each would have to find your own way to do it. But if you don’t, the busyness will crowd out the scriptures.

And then in addition to what Elder Ballard said, in addition to following a topic, I find I need to read enough, even as I go from one scripture to another, to get the context to know what is happening or who is the person speaking. Because if you’re going to use the scripture with someone, you need to understand not just the words but how the words were used and where they come from. Having a feeling for that will help you, I think, with the Holy Ghost telling you, “Okay now, here’s the scripture to use with this person.”

So I don’t think just reading a single verse is quite as helpful as taking a moment to see where it fits in some story. At least that helps me know the context when the Holy Ghost says, “Yes, use that one where Alma was talking to Corianton.” It’s nice to know the difference between when he was talking to Corianton and talking to Shiblon. He talked to them very, very differently It’s nice to have enough background, and that takes a little bit of reading more than just a verse.

Helping People Repent

Bishop: Remembering back to when I was a new bishop and the first several times I had people come in with significant problems, I realized that Sunday School had not necessarily prepared me for helping someone else go through the repentance process. What is the goal of the repentance process, and how do you know when you’ve achieved it?

Elder Eyring: For me, having worked as a bishop lots of times with what you’re talking about, they really have to be penitent even to get started in the process. And you do that differently with different people. Sometimes in a certain situation you do it by warning them, and it’s quite severe. Other times you tell them about the great opportunities they’re not going to be able to have if they don’t repent. You have to find some way to help them have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. When that comes, you’re on the way And in a way that’s also how you know at the end. When they have become truly penitent and childlike and the Atonement has worked in their hearts, you’ll know that at the end.

But it has to start at the beginning as well. If a person comes in rebellious, if a person comes in saying, “I didn’t really do anything wrong; it wasn’t that bad. My friends are doing the same thing,” then you’re not even started yet. So to me at least, it’s somehow knowing by inspiration how to help that feeling of sorrow come. And each does it in his or her own way I’ve seen different bishops do it in different ways, and young people respond, or older people, in different ways.

What do you think? How do you get that desire to be forgiven going in the heart of someone?

Elder Ballard: Well, let’s take for example that the bar has been raised—we’ve used that term where we’re trying to get our young men and young women really to be spiritually prepared to go into the world as full-time missionaries and to honorably go to the temple. One of the things I learned as a mission president, when I would have my first interview, would be to ask several questions. One question was, “Have you read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover, and have you pondered and prayed about it, and do you know that it’s true?” Back then, about half of my missionaries arriving in Toronto could not answer that they had ever done that. Well, that’s a challenge.

But then the next question and I think this applies to anybody is, “Would you share with me how you feel about the Savior? What does He mean to you now? What does His Atonement mean?” Then just sit back and let them talk to you. If their response is very shallow, I don’t know that they have paid the price yet to be able to be washed clean by the blessing of the Atonement.

There is a price that has to be paid. And one of the ways that I think a priesthood leader can determine whether or not that price is being seriously striven for by the member of the Church who is before you is if they can testify in their own words, with real feeling and meaning, and you can feel it and know that it is genuine and sincere. I think when that occurs—the witnessing of the mission and the life and the ministry of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice—the Spirit will then dictate [p.9] to you where you are and what your next steps ought to be. That has been my experience.

Elder Eyring: Could I say something that Elder Ballard suggested to me in his comment? He talked about reading the Book of Mormon and doing some other things. You know, what people do is one of the ways you know if they’ve had the change of heart. If the young person, or whoever it is that you’re working with, is determined to do everything the Lord wants, without you having to tell them—they want to pay their tithing; they want to do these kinds of things—then it is a sign to me of the Atonement truly working in their hearts.

They have changed in what they desire. They want to please the Lord. They love Him. They’ve felt the Atonement work in their lives, and therefore they want to do things that He would have them do. And so it isn’t so much just the rules they follow, but if their hearts are set on I want to do everything the Lord wants me to do,” then you’ll know that the Atonement has really worked in the life of the person. At least that has been my experience.

The Gift of Discernment

Elder Ballard: Let me share with you an experience I had when I had been bishop the first time for about three months. I said to my counselors, Let’s move from behind the pulpit over here where we can see the people.” And my first counselor, who was almost old enough to be my father, said, Well, the policy in the stake is that we sit behind the pulpit.” And I said, Well, is that in the Church handbook anywhere?” It wasn’t, and so we moved.

The very first Sunday as the sacrament was being passed, my eyes were drifting over the congregation. And before that sacrament meeting was over, I had a strong impression that one of the sisters needed to see me. I walked off the podium, went down, and took hold of her hand, and I said, “I’m impressed that you need to see me.” And she broke into tears. I said, “Would you like to see me now?”

We went into the bishop’s office, and there she unloaded a burden of a problem 25 years earlier. She was now the mother of six children, a wonderful family faithful and true, and I had that strong impression that I had the keys to lift that from her and told her, “Now that’s over. Never again do you need to worry about that.” And I’m glad that the Lord touched my mind. But it would never have happened had we not been sitting where we could see the people. It’s just interesting, a little thing like that.

Elder Eyring: What Elder Ballard has taught suggests something very important—I really feel if I were a bishop and I were praying for one spiritual gift, it would be the power to discern the hearts of the people. And the story he told illustrates the principle some of it is that you have to look into their eyes, you have to watch them but it is a gift, and you have it when you’re a bishop, and the day you’re released, it goes away at least to some degree.

The special gift that a bishop has, if he seeks it, is to he able to do exactly what Elder Ballard was saying. You just look at someone or even just think about someone and get an impression of their needs. Remember the Savior was able to read the hearts and minds of people. That is the gift. If I were a bishop, I think if I could have just one spiritual gift, I’d want that one.

Elder Ballard: And I think, because they have the keys, bishops are entitled to it for their people. Who else can do that for them?

Empowering Those around You

Bishop: I’m a brand new bishop of nine days. I remember in my first sacrament meeting I felt that power of discernment with the members of the ward and felt like I needed to touch their lives. How do I obtain a balance of touching their lives and meeting the needs of my family at the same time?

Elder Ballard: We hear that everywhere we go: How do I get it all done?”

You have a lot of resources. One of the things we find as we move around the world is that sometimes bishops get into their heads or start feeling that they have to do it all, that they have to run evening. And some cultures are that way. But the wise bishops and the wise branch presidents that we’ve observed who are really moving the work and building up their units and getting more Melchizedek Priesthood and getting their youth into the temple and off to missions and so forth are those who realize that they have a lot of resources, that they have Melchizedek Priesthood assistance, that they have the auxiliaries.

I’ve used the term in the past that the women of the Church are the Lord’s secret weapon. We talk about nurturing and retaining converts and helping the less active and the youth. Let the sisters realize that they’re part of the mission of the Church. That can be done in the ward council. And once the bishop gets the vision that he has a lot of resources, then you open up enough time, Bishop, so you’re not so exhausted. You can have that 30 minutes or whatever [p.10] time you need to be into the scriptures, and you’re not so exhausted that you can’t pull out the strength of them.

Elder Eyring: Could I suggest a thing that Elder Ballard has also taught before and I have really found to be true? If we’d listen to the sisters, if we’d listen to the people who are supposed to be helping us when we’re bishops, just the fact that we pay attention to them might energize them and get them more devoted and lift them.

So often the sisters say they go to meetings and no one seems to care what they think. And that’s a pity not just because it hurts their feelings but because you could get so much more.

Empowering the people around you is one of the great arts of any bishop—giving the people the feeling that he trusts them, that he knows they have revelation, that he knows they can get revelation. That can help him tremendously. So many bishops feel like they are alone because they treat people as if they’re alone instead of listening to them and encouraging them.

Back to Elder Ballard’s point. One of the things you do is whenever you see a need, don’t assume it is you that has to deal with it. You could have a little silent prayer, “Who is there of all these wonderful people in the ward who serve with me who might reach out to that person?” The elders quorum president, the Relief Society president—there are all sorts of folks. And you could, I think, without betraying confidence, since they haven’t told you anything at all yet you got it from the Holy Ghost—you could go and say “Would you go see Sister So-and-so?” or Would you go see that person? I think there’s an opportunity”

And, by the way that does three things. First, it gets the load off you; second, it will help the person feel that revelation is happening in the ward; and, finally you’ve built up the person you ye sent to go see them. By the way that is also humble. There could be someone who is better at it for that particular person than you are. I would think if you would always ask, “Heavenly Father, is there someone else who might start, at least, reaching out to that person?” then you wouldn’t feel as overwhelmed, and you would probably do a lot for the people of the ward.

The Wife of a Bishop

Elder Ballard: Good counsel. Bishop, nine days! Welcome to the greatest assignment in the whole Church. I had the privilege of serving two different times. And it’s a wonderful stewardship.

Your wife will not know those things that are confidential. But she should be one of your great anchors.

And this matter of worrying about the family—I think bishops and branch presidents on a regular basis ought to take their wife in their arms and look her in the eye and say “Sweetheart, how are we doing? Is there something that I need to do that I’m not doing?”

You can get into a pattern. In fact you can even get on the merry-go-round of being a bishop, and it can spin so fast that you don’t think about that wonderful wife who is going to help shepherd your children but also teach you how you can do it all and not neglect them.

I had to learn that the hard way When I was president of the mission you know, when you have a hundred or two hundred missionaries and all the districts—I was just charging as fast as I could go, and one day I came home and opened up my little calendar book, and Barbara, my wife, had written the family’s name all through the book.

I said, “Sweetheart, what’s this?” And she said, “You’ve got everybody else in the hook. Now you’ve got us in the hook.” And we met every one of those times. We did things together, but only because she was wise enough to see that I had to do that.

So cherish your relationship with your wife, Bishop. In some ways she will he a counselor, not as it pertains to the spiritual or the affairs that only you can manage with your ward members, but she’ll be a counselor to you in helping prioritize your time. She’ll watch over your health too, and if she’s cautioned you a little bit, listen. You’re blessed to have a companion. Let her bless your life by counseling with you.

Elder Eyring: I have to give you a warning, though. A lot of wives won’t do what Sister Ballard did. They’ll just take it. And some of you are married to women who are literally so devoted to the kingdom and so appreciative of you that they may silently let you go ahead.

I know it was 20 years after I was a bishop—to my surprise, because she had always given me the feeling of what a wonderful time it was when I was a bishop—my wife said it was the hardest time of her life. She had little children, and I had thought I was giving her attention. And she never said a word.

So you need to be careful. Very often you won’t have the blessing of Sister Ballard to pull you back. And you’ll need sometimes to do a little more than you think you need to do, particularly when we have young bishops and some of them have young children, and the wife might really feel that the time away was more of a burden than she will ever communicate to you. So you want to be extra sensitive to the needs of your wife, particularly and of your children. [p.11]

Elder Ballard: That’s all absolutely correct, but if you will regularly take her in your arms and ask—

Elder Eyring: You have to ask. I didn’t ask.

Elder Ballard: See, you were too busy. The merry-go-round was going too fast.

Elder Eyring: Well, I didn’t ask enough. I should have asked a little more, “How’s it going with the children?”

Elder Ballard: Sure. And I think that’s one of the things that will help you, Bishop. And the Lord will bless you.

Let me tell you one other thing that 1 think you’ll find out when you’re released. You won’t remember all of the administrative issues that you had to preside over. But those lives that you were able to touch, they’ll live with you forever.

That boy that girl, that father, that mother you were able to help through a crisis, when you’re released as long as we’ve been released, we still see them, they come up and throw their arms around you and thank you for something that happened 30 years ago. And you remember it. You can’t remember who the Relief Society president was necessarily but you will never forget the lives you’ve touched.

Encouraging Ward Members

Bishop: Elder Eyring mentioned having a change of heart. If I may read a scripture in Alma that will lead into a question—this is in Alma, chapter 5, verse 14 and verse 26: And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?”

And then verse 26: “Now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”

As members of the Church, we’re very busy and involved in a lot of aspects of our lives. Could you help us with some ideas on how we can help our members remain motivated in doing the routine responsibilities that we have: participating in the ward choir or helping with welfare assignments or volunteering to help clean the building—these types of things—home teaching, visiting teaching?

Elder Eyring: I don’t know all the answers, because that is one of the great questions in the whole kingdom, for ourselves as well as those we serve as bishops. My little experience has been that in those small things the wise bishop finds a way to help ward members feel that even putting the chairs away or whatever the little things are is like a spiritual experience.

And it’s not so much what he preaches but that he thanks them in a way where they feel that the Lord is thanking them. You know, they feel that they did it for the Lord. By and large, I think we tend to get lax when we feel we are just doing routine things for the bishop or for the ward or, I don’t know, just because we are supposed to do routine things.

But there are ways that a great bishop can give you the feeling that you are serving the Lord. I’m thinking of one I had as a young man who had me doing fairly routine things. I don’t know how he did it, perhaps not in what he said as maybe just in the way he treated me, but I got the feeling I wasn’t doing it for him. I was doing it for the Lord. It made a difference.

I think we can do some things better than we do to help people feel that even these small assignments are appreciated by the Lord. And then, I think, it is likely that they will keep [p.12] that feeling of forgiveness and the feeling of love of the Savior that is the mark of the changed heart.

Teaching the People

Elder Ballard: Excellent. Bishop, also, don’t be afraid to teach your people. Now, sometimes we find that bishops and branch presidents feel like they speak to their ward only at ward conference or branch conference, once a year. I think that’s a mistake. I think if you have an insight and it is something that is weighing on you and a concern, you ought to pray about it, and then you ought to feel totally comfortable to be the speaker in a sacrament meeting and to teach a principle that helps keep that flame going.

Generally the most powerful thing that motivates people is the doctrine and the focus on the Lord, the focus on the Atonement, the focus on saving souls and building and strengthening Zion, building up the kingdom. You can give that vision, and you ought to give it to them in different ways more than once a year, I think.

The bishop has keys. And you have power, and you have capacity And, some have said, you’re the father of the ward, in the sense that you’re the presiding high priest. In that role, don’t ever hesitate to teach the people. Now, don’t abuse that. You don’t want to he the speaker every Sunday because there are 50 many problems that you’re dealing with. But carve out those moments when you can uniquely teach.

There will be those occasions when you might be impressed to want to teach the Relief Society or you may want to go in and teach the high priests. You ought to feel comfortable in doing that because you hold the keys, and in the process of that I think you could help keep that flame of testimony burning and keep people understanding why we do these things.

We do them because we’re trying to save souls. We don’t do them just because they are an assignment. We are trying to bring souls unto Christ and prepare them for the Second Coming so that they can pass by the angels into the presence of the Father and the Son when this is over. That’s the whole purpose of a ward and the purpose of a branch when all is said and oboe. Does that help at all?

Elder Eyring: When you’re thinking of one of the things to preach about, not every time but now and then, talk about the Prophet Joseph. It does a number of things. One is it builds their testimonies again that he was a prophet of God. But also he is a great example of someone who didn’t get tired. He just kept going. He knew the Lord. He worked for the Lord. He served the Lord. He was close to the Lord.

Again, I’d use that as an example now and then. It helps people. This isn’t just a church. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. So it is something that restores that testimony or allows that testimony to be reinforced. That will be really helpful.

Inspiring Young Men to Serve

Bishop: I have a young man in my ward who is worthy in every way to go on a mission but just doesn’t have the spark or desire to go on a mission. I’m wondering what your feeling is about that. How can we inspire him?

Elder Ballard: Well, we have to instill in every young man a desire to serve the Lord. I think that’s part of being a priesthood bearer. Now, there will be those who can’t serve. We know that. But you’re talking about those who don’t want to serve. Maybe a good returned missionary could help. Maybe if they went out with full-time missionaries and taught with them and sat in the living room and felt the Spirit and experienced firsthand what missionaries do and what a tremendous blessing missionaries are to the world.

You have to open the curtain for them, Bishop, and part it far enough that they can see that even though they’re fearful, they can be empowered to do a mighty work. And I think we really have to start when we’re deacons and teachers and priests.

I don’t know how anybody can really love the Lord Jesus Christ, [p.13] sincerely love Him, and not want to serve Him in whatever they might be called to do.

I had one young man who had told me when I was bishop that he was going to be married and he wasn’t going to go on his mission. I had the impression to call him in, and I said, “Doug, the Lord is going to call you on a mission.” And then I got his speech about why he was going to get married instead of go on a mission. And I said, “You didn’t understand the question. You go home now and pray about it and talk to your girlfriend about it. You have to deal with the Lord now, because I feel that your name ought to go forward as a candidate to serve a mission. I’m out of it. It’s between you and the Lord.”

He came back a week later, and he shook his head, and he said, You know what I have to do?” And he was really kind of mad at me. But he went out and became the assistant to the mission president and has since served as a mission president and will tell you if he came into this room, “One of the great moments is when I had to deal with the Lord.” So maybe if you could direct that a little hit, it will he helpful.

Elder Eyring: Elder Ballard’s comment suggested a thing to me. This is a little hit hard for a young person to feel, but the great missionary wants to give hack what he’s already received. And if you could touch the heart of a young person to feel what the gospel has meant to them, then what they owe the Lord is to go hack and try to give that to someone else. That will make not just a missionary out of them but a great missionary. The great missionaries are there because they want to give something that is so precious to them and for which they are so grateful.

You could try that—it won’t work with all of them—but the wonderful motivation is to go to give what is so precious to you to somebody else.

Elder Ballard: Bishop, have you got a question?

Earning Trust and Confidence

Bishop’s Counselor: I’m actually a counselor in the bishopric. How can we convey to the members of the ward council that they should follow our counsel?

Elder Ballard: Great question. Elder Eyring? You’ve been a counselor to a bishop.

Elder Eyring: Many times, many times. It is true that’s a challenge in many places in the Church. Here’s an ordinary man or ordinary men. They’re in the bishopric or the branch presidency. You’ve known them for a long time, and now suddenly you are to treat them as if they were the servants of God who are speaking to you as the Lord, as if He Himself were dealing with you. How do you get that kind of a feeling?

My guess is there’s no one technique. You have to know yourself, as a bishop and as a bishop’s counselor, that you really have been called of God. And if you have that conviction, you convey it, I think, just in the way you treat people. It’s true for Elder Ballard and myself right now. You see, I’m an Apostle, he’s an Apostle, of the Lord Jesus Christ. How do you get people to feel that you are an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ? I don’t know any way except to be sure you know yourself that you are. Then you just act in a way that conveys to them that you come as a servant of the Lord. And the Holy Ghost does it for you. I don’t think you make it happen.

The Holy Ghost has to come to them and say, This is the Lord’s servant. You should follow.” And that’s probably you feeling it first, acting on that conviction yourself, and then the Holy Ghost dealing with them. I don’t think there’s any way that you make yourself el jefe-the boss, I mean—or el patron. There is no way that you can act to act like the boss. In fact, the more you act like the boss, the more you may get in the way if you begin to act as if you are something great. That could actually make it harder for them to follow you.

I think if they see you as a humble follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and then the testimony comes to them [p.14] that that’s who you are, then they’ll follow.

Elder Ballard: Let me add to that excellent instruction from Elder Eyring this one thought. If you can, sit in council—really have a council—where, if this is an issue, you talk about it.

Try to do with your bishopric and with your ward council what we’ve attempted to do with you: “Let’s talk about how we move this work. Let’s talk about what our roles are. Share with us, sisters. Share with us, Melchizedek Priesthood. Open your hearts. Let us know. All we want to do is try to bless the lives of our Father’s children. And we can do it together, so let’s talk about it.”

That’s quite a different meeting than if you get up and just give assignments and do calendaring. So try to draw from them what their role is and what they can do to help. I think it’ll make a big difference, adding to what Elder Eyring has said.

Elder Eyring: I’ve realized that it’s easy for me to follow Elder Ballard, it’s easy for me to follow President Packer, it’s easy for me to follow President Hinckley because I watch and listen and I see the Holy Ghost giving them revelation. I mean I’m never in a meeting that I don’t come out more willing to follow them, not because of the way they behave but because of the way I see God dealing with them.

Again, it’s hard to say, “Well, the way to get people to follow you is to get revelation.” But in fact it will be the thing that I think will draw people to follow your leadership—to see that you’re inspired. And I’ve felt that in this meeting today you see, with Elder Ballard. It is easy for me to follow him because I can see he’s getting revelation.

Elder Ballard: Well, brethren, we ask our Father in Heaven to bless you. You serve in one of the most precious assignments in the Church. I don’t know of any assignment in the Church that draws a leader closer to the people than being a bishop or a branch president. You have keys that you have received by those who have authority to give them to you.

We pray that our Father in Heaven will bless you, enlighten you, inspire you, and lift you, and you’ll accomplish the marvelous work that is yours. And it is really lifting and inspiring and blessing the one—moving person by person, child by child, mother, father, teenager. Move them along this progress of being worthy to enjoy the blessings of the temple and to remain worthy of those blessings all the days of their lives.

We would invoke a blessing upon you that Elder Eyring and I would want you to know we love you and pray our Father in Heaven to walk with you always and do so in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Bishop H. David Burton
Presiding Bishop

Bishops and the Aaronic Priesthood
[p.15]
Bishop Burton: Hello, brethren. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and I are pleased to be with you. I am Bishop H. David Burton in Salt Lake City and am grateful to participate in this broadcast with Elder Holland, who is currently serving in Santiago, Chile. Thanks to satellite technology, we jointly greet you.

Elder Holland: Thank you, Bishop Burton.

Saludos de Chile. It’s a delight to team up with you. Brethren, our discussion today will center on the young men of Aaronic Priesthood age and their unique God-given gift of priesthood privilege. As leaders, we must do everything we can to increase our young men’s understanding of the Lord’s priesthood and their testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ.

Bishop Burton: We will focus on the relationship the young men of Aaronic Priesthood age have with the president of the Aaronic Priesthood in their ward—the bishop. In addition, we will talk about building quorums, conducting interviews, developing testimonies, and helping our young men feel the Spirit as they enjoy and progress in Aaronic Priesthood ministries

Helaman and His Young Men

Bishop Burton: The Book of Mormon recounts a marvelous stewardship report given by a faithful and devoted leader, Helaman, to his captain, Moroni. He gives an account of 2,060 young men imagine that priests quorum- whose mothers had taught them to have complete trust in their God as they were tested repeatedly in the crucible of defending their liberties.

Helaman, in describing the young men, reported, “Never had I seen so great courage, nay not amongst all the Nephites” (Alma 56:45). After one battle, Helaman reported: “I numbered those young men who had fought with me, fearing lest there were many of them slain. But behold, to my great joy there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God” (Alma 56:55-56).

In concluding his report of his three years spent with these faithful young men, Helaman said: And those sons of . . . Ammon, of whom I have so highly spoken, are with me

and the Lord has supported them, yea, and kept them from falling by the sword, insomuch that even one soul has not been slain. … They have received many wounds; nevertheless they stand fast …; and they are strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day; … they do observe to keep his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments continually” (Alma 58:39 40).

Brethren, those words from the book of Alma are both encouraging and sobering. Helaman repeatedly marched into battle during desperate times with a band of promising young men. They were often tempted; we know their faith in God was continually tested. Their victories, even in the [p.17] face of insurmountable odds, were great.

Helaman recounts, “They are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually” (Alma 57:27).

Today every bishop in this Church is a Helaman. Each of you is called to lead and preside over the Aaronic Priesthood, which is made up of great young men of like promise to those in Helaman’s day Not one of Helaman’s young warriors was lost. But lest we forget, the enemy is skillful, intent on betraying our youth and insidious in his methods to draw them away from the truth. Ours is, indeed, a sobering assignment.

Key to the Future

Bishop Burton: Elder Holland, what have you witnessed in Chile about preparing our young men for Aaronic Priesthood responsibilities?

Elder Holland: Bishop, what I have learned about the Aaronic Priesthood in Chile is exactly what I have known in my heart for years that the Aaronic Priesthood, these young men who are given such remarkable authority at such a tender age, are the key to our future. We are still a young Church in Chile, as is the case in many parts of the world. The first missionaries came to Chile less than 50 years ago, so we are still getting a foundation under us. And in the Church, that foundation must always he a priesthood foundation.

Strengthening the priesthood base is what my counselors and I have spent much of our time doing these past many months. But, interestingly enough, that is what the Lord is always doing through the Aaronic Priesthood!

It is for a very good reason that the scriptures call this the preparatory priesthood, for that is certainly what it is. Someone once said we ought to spend more time thinking about the future because we are all going to spend so much time there. For those of us gathered in this leadership training session, we can apply that counsel to thinking about the future of our Aaronic Priesthood young men—because the Church is going to be led by them in the years that lie ahead.

Of course, working with these boys when they are young also helps avoid other challenges later. In a recent training session with the General Authorities, President Thomas S. Monson gave the humorous yet sobering example of a primitive intelligence test. He said one quick way to learn how good our thinking is, is to give a man the task of draining a pond and then see what he does first. If he starts right in, frantically trying to bail water out of the pond, he is not as wise as the man who first stops the flow of new water coming into the pond.

For those of you who are overwhelmed by the size of the task involved in draining a pond, bring it closer to home and consider an overflowing bathtub! As urgent as that water on the floor may be, it is more urgent for you first to turn off the bath faucets before deciding what to do about the water in which you are already standing! Virtually every leader in attendance today knows that the growing pool of prospective elders among the ranks of the adult [p.18] men of the Church, those who are unordained and otherwise less active, is one of the most serious challenges we face. The most important thing we can do to diminish the pool of the less-active adult man is make certain we keep active and ordain, on time, the young man.

Unfortunately, the large stream of less-active or unordained boys rippling out of the Aaronic Priesthood is by far the most sizeable source of our less-active or unordained Melchizedek Priesthood candidates.

Brethren, take my word for it; however difficult it may be to get or keep a boy active at, say 13, it is a lot more difficult to find him and get him active again at age 30! Yes, in every way these young men, mere boys as we all once were, are the key to the future. We must give a full measure of our devotion to them now, bringing blessings today and blessings to everyone for generations to come.

It is in the Aaronic Priesthood experience that these young men will first learn what a quorum is and what that unit of brotherhood will mean to them for the rest of their lives. For that reason we need to grow sufficiently in the developing parts of the Church so that there are enough deacons to he with deacons, enough teachers to be with teachers, enough priests to he with priests. Of course, until that time, the Aaronic Priesthood often must meet together. But as quickly as possible, we need to establish the proper age groupings for these boys so that a sense of quorum can be established.

Bishops, our young men who are called to preside over their quorums need to know what presiding means and what a presidency is. With your counselors, teach the presidencies of the deacons and teachers quorums how to lead. And, with your assistants, lead by example in the priests quorum. There is no better way for these boys to learn and apply these principles and skills that they will need for the rest of their lives in Church service.

Use your own bishopric meeting as a model for teaching Aaronic Priesthood quorum presidencies how to conduct themselves, how to discharge the duties of their office. Show them what you do. Teach them to rely on the Lord, to know their responsibilities, and to take counsel from one another. When the presidency is taught, they can team with the bishopric in teaching their respective quorums regarding the sacred responsibilities they all have.

Bishop Burton, when I look at these young men, I don’t see them as they are; I see them as they and as the Church in Chile needs to be 10, 15, 20 years from now. We must invest ourselves in their training and in their spiritual development.

Focused on Righteousness

Elder Holland: What are some of the other helps that our bishops need to give our young men of the Aaronic Priesthood?

Bishop Burton: I asked some bishops to write down some questions they have. I’d like to read a few of them.

Great question: “How do we keep our youth focused on righteous living when negative worldly influences are so invasive?” Elder Holland, would you mind if I respond to this question?

Focusing on righteousness is very important in the lives of our young people. Spiritual focus is enhanced when sights are set on accomplishing eternal goals. This statement implies that doctrines are taught and understood while at the same time commitment to achievement is entered into. We all know that doctrine changes or solidifies behavior.

Therefore, as we teach and testify of the doctrine and encourage the achievement of goals, such as those contained in the Young Men’s Duty to God and the Young Women’s Personal Progress programs, we help keep a focus on the spiritual as opposed to the worldly.

Building Testimony

Bishop Burton: Elder Holland, a number of bishops have asked about helping young men gain a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. How would you counsel them?

Elder Holland: Those bishops, whoever they are, have cut right to the heart of the matter. Everything we have been talking about and everything we do with the Aaronic Priesthood young men ought to focus on building their testimonies—their conviction that God really lives and that He loves them very much.

They need much more of a testimony of Jesus Christ than most of them have—that He is the literal Son of God born here on earth, that He actually walked and talked in the Holy Land, that He is the Savior of the world, and that His Atonement was a personal payment for the forgiveness and salvation of every one of us.

They need to have a testimony that the Father and the Son appeared to Joseph Smith and that Joseph Smith—barely the age of those in our present teachers quorums—thus was called to be a true prophet of God, an instrument in bringing forth the Book of Mormon, restoring the priesthood, building temples, blessing the world with so many other revelatory truths.

In our modern time I hope most of our young men have been able to see President Hinckley on the satellite system and read his talks in the [p.19] Church magazines and already have their personal testimonies that he is in every way a prophet of God. I testify that he is. These young men—and the young women too—must have these testimonies built during their teenage years. And one powerful way to assist them is to bear your own testimony to them—humbly honestly and often.

Over the years I suppose I have talked with thousands of Aaronic Priesthood youth when they were coming up through their quorums or shortly after they had been advanced and were serving in the mission field. By the hundreds, by the thousands, what they say they remember from Aaronic Priesthood activities or Mutual or seminary or youth conferences is a spiritual experience. They will recount in an instant a spiritual experience with a leader or in a testimony meeting or in the scriptures—often enough, a youthful experience in using their priesthood.

Bishops, I ask you to do everything you can to create or to provide the circumstances for a spiritual experience in the lives of our Aaronic Priesthood young men and the young women of the Church as well. Nothing we do for them in our various programs will matter as much as that, and I promise you it is what they will remember and treasure the most.

Earning Trust

Bishop Burton: Another bishop asks: “How do we gain the trust of our youth and teach them to trust the Lord and His ways?”

Certainly Helaman’s young warriors displayed great trust in God. Their trust was noted and rewarded. Although not directly mentioned in the scriptures, it was very evident that they trusted equally in their leader. I can think of several reasons why I would have trusted Helaman if I had the chance to he one of his warriors. First was his unwavering spiritual strength. He did not doubt and would not let them waver. He deeply cared for each young man, and I’m sure they felt his love and concern. Second, he did not send them on their errand; he went with them. He led them every step of the way He was an example in word and deed.

When I had the great blessing of serving as a bishop, it was my experience that trust was earned as I spent time with our young people by participating in their activities, helping to ensure they experienced the joys of feeling the Spirit, and expressing love even though some of the things they did were not lovable.

A Key Responsibility

Bishop Burton: Now let’s go to another question. “How can we, as bishops, he more effective in working with youth?” Elder Holland, why don’t you take this one?

Elder Holland: Bishops, you are the Lord’s teachers and trainers of these Aaronic Priesthood boys. You know and we know how many other things you have to do, but go back to Elder Robert D. Hales’s training of just a [p.20] year ago, consider everything that he said that could he delegated, and delegate it.

But presiding over the Aaronic Priesthood cannot he delegated. It is one of the key responsibilities inherent in being a bishop inasmuch as that sacred office is an office in the Aaronic Priesthood.

So, no bishop in this Church can he true to his ordination who is not true to the Aaronic Priesthood office which he holds. That is not said to make anyone feel guilty It is simply said to emphasize the paramount importance of the bishop’s Aaronic Priesthood.

Effective Interviews

Bishop Burton: Some bishops have asked about worthiness interviews. Anticipating this question, and with the help of Elder Holland in Chile, we have prepared a series of vignettes focused on worthiness interviews.

Vignette

Stake President: Bishop, I am impressed with the young men who have come to me for missionary interviews. Talk to me a little about how you interview. You are getting good results.

Bishop: President, I try to get to know each boy well, developing a relationship outside of Church situations so that they feel comfortable talking with me. I ask open-ended questions that they have to answer with—

Bishop: Jose, how are you?

José: Very well. How are you?

Bishop: Well, thank you. Thank you for coming for this interview, José.

José: Thank you for inviting me. I feel good here.

Bishop: I always enjoy speaking to you. I’ve heard you’re doing well in math.

José: Well, I like it very much, and I think I will study something related to math in the future.

Bishop: That’s great. I hope you can reach your goals.

José: Thanks.

Bishop: I want to ask you a question. What challenges and concerns do you have right now?

José: Well, when my friends and I go out with girls—

Bishop: President, I have found if I can get them talking, the Spirit will guide me in the direction we need to go in the interview—

José: Also, there are things that I don’t think I can talk about with my parents.

Bishop: About what, for example?

José: Well, you know, like stuff about girls—

Bishop: I ask what they think the standard should be for young men. I listen to what they say—

Bishop: How are things at home, José?

José: Good—very good. My brother and I are getting along much better. We do things together more. We are like friends.

Bishop: What has made the difference?

José: I think since the last time we talked, things changed. I’ve tried to do better in the things that you and I agreed on.

Bishop: Have you had Some good conversations with your brother?

José: Yes, many. And we have a much closer relationship—

Bishop: I also like to begin with a prayer, and then I ask him about his prayers. Has he received answers from the Lord? What does he think of these [p.21] answers? And I counsel him to read the scriptures to learn to feel the Spirit in the word of God.

Discussion

Bishop Burton: This short vignette taught several important principles. First, it reminded us about priesthood government and responsibilities. You remember the opening scene was a stake president visiting with one of his bishops. The stake president started the conversation with a word of praise, which led to an inquiry about performance.

Stake presidents have a teaching and training responsibility In this vignette, the stake president is training the president of the Aaronic Priesthood of one of his wards. In turn, the president of the priests quorum is having a regular interview with one of his fellow quorum members. This is the order of the priesthood. Priesthood keys are being used to bless lives.

Elder Holland: What struck me, Bishop, was how genuine the stake president and bishop were in trying to get at what works, what makes these young men tick, what the real issues are in their lives.

The stake president paid the bishop a tremendous compliment when he said “Tell me what you are doing. Tell me how you are getting this success.” That is a stake president who is willing to learn and undoubtedly will share the insights with others in the stake who have the same responsibility for interviewing.

The bishop got right into the real life of José and made it easy for him to talk about home, about school, about girls. When I was a bishop, and even now, I fear I talk too much and try to respond too much. I would have been much more effective in interviews to have listened—in dead silence if necessary—in order to convey that it is from the boys we want to hear, not from ourselves.

Bishop Burton: Elder Holland, did you notice that not one of the observations or questions could be responded to with one-word responses? Effective interviews are not one-sided conversations but rather a sharing of ideas, an expression of feelings or responses to inquiries carefully crafted. I also like the notion expressed by the bishop that as the conversation progresses, he relies on the Spirit to prompt him in the direction the conversation should go.

Saving Souls

Bishop Burton: Brethren, our collective mission, in simple terms, is to assist in the process of saving souls. Our Father in Heaven said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). Our bishops have a special role in this process in that they preside over the Aaronic Priesthood and possess priesthood keys that may be used to unlock and pour out blessings for the benefit of holders of this preparatory priesthood. This divine role is one a bishop must [p.23] perform. This is a responsibility he cannot delegate to anyone else.

Our young people must be strong in order to withstand the myriad of terrible evils which plague our world. Never before in the history of man have we been subjected to the constant bombardment of sinful practices from so many diverse sources. Holders of the Aaronic Priesthood have, by ordination, been extended the shield of ministering angels to assist them in resisting the buffetings of Satan.

Bishops, because of your assignment you are uniquely positioned to help these precious young people keep their shields positioned in such a way that their defense will be strong. You can help them receive the spiritual nourishment they require in order for them not to weary in their constant battle with temptation.

One of the ways this may be accomplished is to see that these young warriors are exposed to a variety of spiritual experiences during Aaronic Priesthood activities. Their spiritual strength can be enhanced as they participate in presenting and blessing the emblems of the sacrament, as they baptize, ordain, home teach, participate in baptisms for the dead, care for one another, and reach out to render service.

Perhaps the greatest asset the Church has is its youth. They are a generation of great promise. They have a majestic mission to perform. They desperately need the leadership of parents and of bishops who are in word and deed the president of their priesthood. May we provide this leadership, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Power and Authority of God

Bishop Burton: Just last month we celebrated the 175th anniversary of the restoration of the Aaronic Priesthood. What a wonderful event the restoration was. After an absence of centuries, the glorious day arrived when the power and authority of the priesthood of God were once more upon the earth. Many, during their Aaronic Priesthood years, have memorized the 13th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, which records the words uttered by John, the same that is called John the Baptist in the New Testament, as he restored this divine authority.

John placed his hands on the heads of Joseph and Oliver and said “Upon you my fellow servants, in the name of Messiah I confer the Priesthood of Aaron, which holds the keys of the ministering of angels, and of the gospel of repentance, and of baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; and this shall never be taken again from the earth, until the sons of Levi do offer again an offering unto the Lord in righteousness” (D&C 13:1). With this priesthood restoration comes a significant responsibility

Elder Holland, will you conclude our remarks with your testimony please?

Elder Holland: What a pleasure it has been to be with you today, together with Bishop Burton. Follow his example in the way you minister. He’s a wonderful bishop.

Brethren, I am so grateful for the love God has shown me in my life. I had wonderful parents who loved me and saw that I got to church. Nothing can be more of a blessing to our youth than to be loved and taught at home.

Helping me and my family were bishops and bishoprics, quorum advisers and Scoutmasters, Sunday School and seminary teachers who stood like sentinels all along the way helping me gain a testimony, be faithful, and be raised up in the priesthood. But in all the help gleaned from these others, nothing helped me more in helping myself than to have had the Aaronic Priesthood conferred upon me and to have been ordained a deacon at 12 years of age.

What a remarkable thing it is that such power and authority are given to boys who are technically not yet—at least not the younger ones—even in their teens. There’s nothing like it anywhere else in the world, this urgent invitation to every boy to come forward and through youthful faithfulness hold the “keys of the ministering of angels, and of the gospel of repentance, and of baptism by immersion for the remission of sins.” It overwhelms me just to say that again to you here today

The spiritual experiences and holy affirmation I have had regarding the Savior and His divinity first came to me as a young man. Since those early years, I’ve continued to have special experiences and to have felt again and again the undeniable whispering of the Spirit testifying that Jesus is the Christ, the living Son of the living God. The Father and the Son do live, and I know They love us. The light I walk by is Their light, the light of heaven. May we help bring the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood to this same conviction in this great cause of Christ, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

President Gordon B. Hinckley
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

To the Bishops of the Church
[p.24]
Reminders of Service

We have heard very much of good counsel. President Monson has outlined for you the responsibilities of a bishop. Elder Ballard and Elder Eyring have answered questions that come from bishops. Bishop Burton and Elder Holland have given instruction concerning caring for the Aaronic Priesthood. I am confident that it has all been very helpful.

I realize you must be tired, and I will not be unduly long. First I wish to invite you into my office in the Church Administration Building here in Salt lake City It is a much larger and more beautiful office than I need or deserve. I did not build it. I inherited it. I am surrounded here by interesting things that prompt me to do my best regardless of the circumstances.

Here is a small statue of the resurrected Savior. The original, large statue by Thorvaldsen is in Copenhagen, Denmark. I recently was there and saw it. It is a constant reminder of Him in whose service you and I are engaged.

I have here a small statue of the Prophet Joseph, who is my great inspiration. I testify that he was indeed a prophet of God, foreordained to conic forth in this season of the Lord’s work to serve as the first President of the Church, our great seer and revelator.

As I sit at my desk, behind me is a portrait of Brigham Young. I know that he is constantly looking over my shoulder. I cannot escape an awareness of that. Now and again, when I face a perplexing problem, I turn around and look at him and ask, “President Young, what would you do?” I think I see a little smile come into his face, and he says, “I have done my work. Now you do yours.”

Here is an interesting piece of sculpture showing my grandfather burying his wife and half-brother somewhere on the vast prairie that they were crossing in 1850 en route to the Salt Lake Valley We have no idea where that burial took place. But I see in him the faith and the resolution that caused him to pick up his infant child and bring her on to the valley of the Great Salt Lake. I know that no matter how hard I work, it will never be as hard as he worked, nor will I pay so great a price in the service I give. He was a stake president when there were only 25 of them in the entire Church.

Here is a bust of my father. He too was a stake president. He presided over the largest stake in the Church, with more than 15,000 members. I might say parenthetically that I likewise presided over a stake, and each of my two sons has served as a stake president, so we have in our family four generations of stake presidents. I think I know something about what is entailed in such responsibility.

Here is an interesting little piece of sculpture. It represents a group of deacons. One has kicked off his shoes. They are typical restless boys. They are a reminder of our obligation to the Aaronic Priesthood. Right behind you on the wall is a framed picture. In this small photo I am with Ronald Reagan when he was [p.25] president of the United States. It is a reminder that we who follow after the Lord Jesus Christ also live in Caesar’s world.

Called by Inspiration

Now permit me to move from this personal introduction and speak in a rather informal way to each of you as if you were seated across the desk from me.

I begin by expressing my love and appreciation for you. I thank you for the great spirit of consecration which you demonstrate. I love you for your faith and for your loyalty. I pray for you. You bishops have such a very serious and demanding responsibility You are so very important a factor in the work of the Church.

No one else, not even the stake president nor the quorum president nor the mission president nor, for that matter, the General Authorities so directly affects the lives of the members of this Church.

In the early clays of this work there was only one bishop, Bishop Partridge, of whom the Lord said, “His heart is pure before me, for he is like unto Nathanael of old, in whom there is no guile” (D&C 41:11).

Today, as President Monson has reminded us, there are 18,641 bishops across the world, plus 7,773 branch presidents. Not one of you asked for this responsibility. You were called under the direction of the Almighty I hope you will never forget that. The Lord has called you. When you get discouraged, as I an) sure each of you do occasionally think of the fact that you have been divinely called, that you were called only after your stake president worried and prayed that he might he guided by the Holy Spirit in selecting you. [p.26]

Sharing the Work

I know that your burdens are very heavy That has been made clear in this meeting. I wish with all my heart that we could do something to lighten your load. We have tried. We have discussed the matter at great length in attempting to find a way But we cannot shrink the breadth of your responsibility That breadth was outlined by the Lord when He designated your various duties. But if you will follow the suggestions made in this training meeting, you will greatly be benefited.

I reemphasize that it is so very important that you delegate everything that you can. You may discover that others can handle some responsibility as well as you can, possibly even better.

The counsel given by Jethro to Moses applies to you. It is found in the 18th chapter of Exodus. Moses had taken it upon himself to Sit in judgment all day long, day after day, as the people brought their problems to him. Jethro watched him and said to Moses:

“The thing that thou doest is not good.

“Thou wilt surely wear away both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.

“Hearken now unto my voice.…

“Thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness;…

“And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

“If thou shalt do this thing, then thou shalt be able to endure” (Exodus 18:17 19, 21-23).

You have so very many with whom you can share the load—counselors, elders quorum presidencies, high priests group leaders, Relief Society presidencies, Young Men and Young Women presidencies, the officers of the Sunday School, and every member of your ward. The more people you can put to work, the more you will lighten your own burden and at the same time bring blessings into the lives of all who serve, and, as Jethro said to Moses, “Then shalt thou be able to endure.”

Sit down by yourself with pencil and paper. Ask the Lord to guide you. Then list all the things with which you are concerned. See what you can reasonably delegate to others.

They may make some mistakes. You might wish that they would do better. Do not worry. Help them to do the right thing, and then let them do it.

Yours must be a close working relationship with the Holy Spirit. Even the temporal work of the Church, much of which concerns you, is spiritual in its nature.

A bishop on his knees in prayer is a beautiful thing. You cannot handle this work without the help of the Lord. He is your ever-present strength. He will not fail you, for it is in His cause that you are serving.

The Influence of Bishops

I occasionally look back to my boyhood days. I lived in the same home, in the same ward, and under the same bishop from the time I was blessed as a baby until the time I went on a mission. Our bishop served for more than 20 years. ft was a very large ward. We had more than 1,500 members. There were five deacons quorums. Somehow he knew us all individually He addressed us boys by our first names, and we always spoke to and of him as Bishop Duncan.

He never appeared overwhelmed with the responsibility of running that large ward. He always impressed

me as a happy man. There was a smile on his face. There was enthusiasm in his manner. The world apparently looked good to him. He carried a heavy responsibility in his employment. I am confident that it was demanding and that he handled it very well, for he served as a division manager in a large business for a very long time.

He had a wonderful family who seemed never to lack his attention.

His two counselors were men of the same kind—strong and able, cheerful and willing to work.

I look back upon my life in that ward. I search my mind in vain for a boy or a girl who was not active and who did not continue to he active throughout his or her life. There must have been some, hut I cannot think of a single one.

I repeat, we loved our bishop. We trusted him. We looked to him. In our family prayers, we remembered him before the Lord.

I have lived under a number of bishops since then. The wards are now much smaller. But they are all ably operated. Every bishop has been a good, faithful, devoted, and able man. The bishops ought to be the very best men in the Church family, and it has been my experience that you are.

Counsel for Bishops

Now brethren, as we conclude this meeting I wish to quickly add two or three more thoughts on some specific matters.

Sometimes bishops overlook those who have become unworthy to hold temple recommends. They were worthy when the recommend was issued, but subsequently they fail in the payment of tithing or in meeting other standards. In such circumstances, though it may be unpleasant to do so, you should quietly discuss the matter with the member and, if necessary, pick up [p.27] his or her recommend, giving assurance that it will be restored when the individual again becomes worthy. As you do so, always deal with kindness and give encouragement.

Be especially mindful of the youth. The young women are as important as the young men. In your interviews with them, cultivate such a relationship that they will be forthright and open with you. Many are afraid to tell their parents of misadventures. You are the only one to whom they can turn.

You know how very important it is to keep confidences. The trust placed in you is enormous. You must never betray that trust.

Where there has been a confession of abuse or reports of abuse, do not hesitate to phone the so-called hotline for direction.

Where there is an annotation on the record of a member, do not use him in any situation where he can harm others. This is extremely important.

I wish to emphasize another matter spoken of earlier. That is missionary service.

We have heard of reports that some young men are thinking of a mission as merely an option and are not necessarily planning their lives with missionary service in mind. Others have interpreted the raising of the bar to mean that only the most outstanding young men are wanted in the mission field.

We need more missionaries. The message to raise the bar on missionary qualifications was not a signal to send fewer missionaries but rather a call for parents and leaders to work with young men earlier to better prepare them for missionary service and to keep them worthy of such service. All young men who are worthy and who are physically and emotionally able should prepare to serve in this most important work.

There is a constant need for more couple missionaries. They perform wonderful service throughout the world. You need not wait for the couples to volunteer. The sacrifices associated with serving the Lord full-time will abundantly bless the couples, their families, and the people they serve.

Now, with reference to young sister missionaries, there has been some misunderstanding of earlier counsel regarding single sisters serving as missionaries. We need some young women. They perform a remarkable work. They can get in homes where the elders cannot. But it should be kept in mind that young sisters are not under obligation to go on missions. They should not feel that they have a duty comparable to that of young men, but some will wish to go. If so, they should counsel with their bishop as well as their parents.

Now, these are the kinds of things which only you can handle.

Serving with Integrity

There is another sensitive matter I wish to mention. If you and your family should ever need welfare help, then discuss the matter confidentially with your stake president and observe his counsel.

Be careful, brethren. You are the servants of the Lord. You are the bishops of the wards. The adversary knows that if he can lead you off into forbidden paths, he will have accomplished much of his evil work. Shun temptation. Stay away from sin of any kind. Live up to the highest standards of the gospel. Walk with integrity at all times and under all circumstances.

Do not neglect your employer or take advantage of him. Give him full measure for the compensation he provides you. Do not use his time or his facilities to carry forward your service as bishop.

I repeat what already has been spoken of-do not neglect your family To paraphrase the words of the Lord, What shall it profit a man though he save the ward and lose his family?”

Schedule your time so that you may hold your own family home evenings. They are so very important and will be the means of safeguarding your family through the years. Spend time with your beloved companion. You cannot succeed as a bishop without the help of your wife. [p.28]

A Joyful Experience

Now, my dear brethren, may heaven smile upon you. This is a strenuous season in your lives. But there is great joy and satisfaction also. The time will come when you will he released, and at that time a deep and poignant sadness will come into your hearts. You will realize then that the Lord has been with you, that you

have had a rich and wonderful experience, that you have exceeded your natural capacity because of the Lord’s help, and that this was one of the most joyous experiences of your entire life.

I repeat, I extend to you my love. How I love the bishops of this Church and the branch presidents, likewise. I leave you my blessing and my prayers that you may be strengthened for the work and that because of this strengthening you will grow as you have never grown before.

God bless you, my brethren. I ask it all in the sacred name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

February 11, 2006
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: Supporting the Family

- Elder David A. Bednar: Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan

- Bonnie D. Parkin: Parents Have a Sacred Duty

- Elder L. Tom Perry: Balancing Our Responsibilities

- Elder Thomas S. Monson: Heavenly Homes, Forever Families

(Ensign, June 2006, pp. 81-103)

[p.82]
Elder David A. Bednar
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan

The Doctrinal Ideal of Marriage

We have been counseled strongly by the First Presidency to devote our best efforts to the strengthening of marriage and the home. Such instruction has never been more needed in the world than it is today, as the sanctity of marriage is attacked and the importance of the home is undermined.

Even though the Church and its programs support marriage and family and generally are successful at doing so, we should always remember this basic truth: no instrumentality or organization can take the place of the home or perform its essential functions.[1] Consequently, today I will speak with you primarily as men and women, as husbands and wives, and as mothers and fathers and secondarily as priesthood and auxiliary leaders in the Church. My assignment is to discuss the essential role of eternal marriage in our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness.

We will focus on the doctrinal ideal of marriage. My hope is that a review of our eternal possibilities and a reminder about who we are and why we are here in mortality will provide direction, comfort, and sustaining hope for us all, regardless of our marital status or personal present circumstances. The disparity between the doctrinal ideal of marriage and the reality of daily life may seem at times to be quite large, but you gradually are doing and becoming much better than you probably recognize.

I invite you to keep in mind the following questions as we discuss principles related to eternal marriage.

Question 1: In my own life, am I striving to become a better husband or a wife, or preparing to be a husband or a wife, by understanding and applying these basic principles?

Question 2: As a priesthood or auxiliary leader, am I helping those I serve to understand and apply these basic principles, thereby strengthening marriage and the home?

As we prayerfully ponder these questions and consider our own marriage relationships and our responsibilities in the Church, I testify the Spirit of the Lord will enlighten our minds and teach us the things we need to do and to improve (see John 14:26).

Why Marriage Is Essential

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles proclaim “that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”[2] This keynote sentence of the proclamation teaches us much about the doctrinal significance of marriage and emphasizes the primacy of marriage and family in the Father’s plan. Righteous marriage is a commandment and an essential step in the process of creating a loving [p.83] family relationship that can be perpetuated beyond the grave.

Two compelling doctrinal reasons help us to understand why eternal marriage is essential to the Father’s plan.

Reason 1: The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation.

The eternal nature and importance of marriage can be fully understood only within the overarching context of the Father’s plan for His children. “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and … has a divine nature and destiny.”[3] The great plan of happiness enables the spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly Father to obtain physical bodies, to gain earthly experience, and to progress toward perfection.

“Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose”[4] and in large measure defines who we are, why we are here upon the earth, and what we are to do and become. For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary.

After the earth was created, Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden. Importantly, however, God said it was “not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18; Moses 3:18), and Eve became Adam’s companion and helpmeet. The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females were needed to implement the plan of happiness. Alone, neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation.

By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males [p.84] and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11; italics added).

Reason 2: By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.

The commandment given anciently to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force today. “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. … The means by which mortal life is created [are] divinely appointed.”[5] Thus, marriage between a man and a woman is the authorized channel through which premortal spirits enter mortality. Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred channel.

A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met. Just as the unique characteristics of both males and females contribute to the completeness of a marriage relationship, so those same characteristics are vital to the rearing, nurturing, and teaching of children. “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”[6]

Guiding Principles

The two doctrinal reasons we have reviewed about the importance of eternal marriage in the Father’s plan of happiness suggest guiding principles for those who are preparing to marry, for those who are married, and for our service in the Church.

Principle 1: The importance of eternal marriage can be understood only within the context of the Father’s plan of happiness.

We frequently speak about and highlight marriage as a fundamental unit of society, as the foundation of a strong nation, and as a vital sociological and cultural institution. But the restored gospel helps us to understand that it is so much more!

Do we perhaps talk about marriage without adequately teaching the importance of marriage in the Father’s plan? Emphasizing marriage without linking it to the simple and fundamental doctrine of the plan of happiness cannot provide sufficient direction, protection, or hope in a world that grows increasingly confused and wicked. We would all do well to remember the teaching of Alma—that “God gave unto [the children of men] commandments, after having made known unto them the plan of redemption” (Alma 12:32; italics added).

Elder Parley P. Pratt expressed beautifully the blessings that come to us as we learn about, understand, and strive to apply in our lives the doctrinal ideal of marriage:

“It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter.

“It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies [p.85] and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. …

“I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness—an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this grovelling sphere and expand it as the ocean. … In short, I could now love with the spirit and with the understanding also.

“Yet, at that time, my dearly beloved brother, Joseph Smith, had … merely lifted a corner of the veil and given me a single glance into eternity.”[7]

As men and women, as husbands and wives, and as Church leaders, can we see how the importance of eternal marriage can be understood only within the context of the Father’s plan of happiness? The doctrine of the plan leads men and women to hope and prepare for eternal marriage, and it defeats the fears and overcomes the uncertainties that may cause some individuals to delay or avoid marriage. A correct understanding of the plan also strengthens our resolve to steadfastly honor the covenant of eternal marriage. Our individual learning, our teaching, and our testifying in both the home and at church will be magnified as we ponder and more fully understand this truth.

Principle 2: Satan desires that all men and women might be miserable like unto himself.

Lucifer relentlessly assails and distorts the doctrines that matter most to us individually, to our families, and to the world. Where is the adversary focusing his most direct and diabolical attacks? Satan works unremittingly to confuse understanding about gender, to promote the premature and unrighteous use of procreative power, and to hinder righteous marriage precisely because marriage is ordained of God and the family is central to the plan of happiness. The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication.

Because today we are engaged in a war for the welfare of marriage and the home, in my latest reading of the Book of Mormon I paid particular attention to the ways the Nephites prepared for their battles against the Lamanites. I noted that the people of Nephi “were aware of the intent of [their enemy], and therefore they did prepare to meet them” (Alma 2:12; italics added). As I read and studied, I learned that understanding the intent of an enemy is a key prerequisite to effective preparation. We likewise should consider the intent of our enemy in this latter-day war.

The Father’s plan is designed to provide direction for His children, to help them become happy, and to bring them safely home to Him. Lucifer’s attacks on the plan are intended to make the sons and daughters of God confused and unhappy and to halt their eternal progression. The overarching intent of the father of lies is that all of us would become “miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27), and he works to warp the elements of the Father’s plan he hates the most. Satan does not have a body, he cannot marry, and he will not have a family. And he persistently strives to confuse the divinely appointed purposes of gender, marriage, and family. Throughout the world, we see growing evidence of the effectiveness of Satan’s efforts.

[p.86] More recently the devil has attempted to combine and legally validate confusion about gender and marriage. As we look beyond mortality and into eternity, it is easy to discern that the counterfeit alternatives the adversary advocates can never lead to the completeness that is made possible through the sealing together of a man and a woman, to the happiness of righteous marriage, to the joy of posterity, or to the blessing of eternal progression.

Given what we know about our enemy’s intent, each of us should be especially vigilant in seeking personal inspiration as to how we can protect and safeguard our own marriages —and how we can learn and teach correct principles in the home and in our Church assignments about the eternal significance of gender and of the role of marriage in the Father’s plan.

Principle 3: The ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be “perfected in Him” (Moroni 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the woman come closer together.

As a husband and wife are each drawn to the Lord (see 3 Nephi 27:14), as they learn to serve and cherish one another, as they share life experiences and grow together and become one, and as they are blessed through the uniting of their distinctive natures, they begin to realize the fulfillment that our Heavenly Father desires for His children. Ultimate happiness, which is the very object of the Father’s plan, is received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.

As men and women, as husbands and wives, and as Church leaders, one of our paramount responsibilities is to help young men and women learn about and prepare for righteous marriage through our personal example. As young women and men observe worthiness, loyalty, sacrifice, and the honoring of covenants in our marriages, then those youth will seek to emulate the same principles in their courting and marriage relationships. As young people notice that we have made the comfort and convenience of our eternal companion our highest priority, then they will become less self-centered and more able to give, to serve, and to create an equal and enduring companionship. As young women and men perceive mutual respect, affection, trust, and love between a husband and a wife, then they will strive to cultivate the same characteristics in their lives. Our children and the youth of the Church will learn the most from what we do and what we are—even if they remember relatively little of what we say.

Unfortunately many young members of the Church today are fearful of and stumble in their progress toward eternal marriage because they have seen too much of divorce in the world and of broken covenants in their homes and in the Church.

Eternal marriage is not merely a temporary legal contract that can be terminated at any time for almost any reason. Rather, it is a sacred covenant with God that can be binding in time and throughout all eternity. Faithfulness and fidelity in marriage must not simply be attractive words spoken in sermons; rather, they should be principles evident in our own covenant marriage relationships.

As we consider the importance of our personal example, do you and I discern areas where we need to improve? Is the Holy Ghost inspiring our minds and softening our hearts and encouraging us to do and to become better? As priesthood and [p.87] auxiliary leaders, are we focusing our efforts on strengthening marriage and the home?

Husbands and wives need time together to fortify themselves and their homes against the attacks of the adversary. As we strive to magnify our callings in the Church, are we unintentionally hindering husbands and wives and mothers and fathers from fulfilling their sacred responsibilities in the home? For example, do we sometimes schedule unnecessary meetings and activities in a way that interferes with the essential relationship between a husband and a wife and their relationships with children?

As we sincerely ponder these questions, I am confident the Spirit is even now helping and will continue to help each of us learn the things we should do at home and in the Church.

The Spiritual Resources We Need

Our responsibilities to learn and understand the doctrine of the plan, to uphold and be examples of righteous marriage, and to teach correct principles in the home and at church may cause us to wonder if we are equal to the task. We are ordinary people who must accomplish a most extraordinary work.

Many years ago, Sister Bednar and I were busy trying to meet the countless competing demands of a young and energetic family—and of Church, career, and community responsibilities. One evening after the children were asleep, we talked at length about how effectively we were attending to all of our important priorities. We realized that we would not receive the promised blessings in eternity if we did not honor more fully the covenant we had made in mortality. We resolved together to do and to be better as a husband and a wife. That lesson learned so many years ago has made a tremendous difference in our marriage.

The sweet and simple doctrine of the plan of happiness provides precious eternal perspective and helps us understand the importance of eternal marriage. We have been blessed with all of the spiritual resources we need. We have the fulness of the doctrine of Jesus Christ. We have the Holy Ghost and revelation. We have saving ordinances, covenants, and temples. We have priesthood and prophets. We have the holy scriptures and the power of the word of God. And we have The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I testify that we have been blessed with all of the spiritual resources we need to learn about, to teach, to strengthen, and to defend righteous marriage—and that indeed we can live together in happiness as husbands and wives and families in eternity. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. See First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999; or Liahona, Dec. 1999, 1; Ensign, June 1999, 80.

2. The Family: A Proclamation to the World, Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

3. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

4. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

5. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

6. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

7. Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, ed. Parley P. Pratt Jr. (1938), 297–98.

[p.88]
Elder L. Tom Perry
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

A Solemn Responsibility to Love and Care for Each Other

Balancing Our Responsibilities

The subject I have been assigned is the following sentence from the proclamation on the family: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”[1] I want to approach this subject in a very different manner than you might be familiar with in other training meetings. I will not quote much from handbooks; instead, I want to talk to you heart to heart about your service in our Father in Heaven’s kingdom. The purpose will be to see if together we can better understand how to balance our responsibilities to love and care for our families with the other special callings our Father in Heaven has given to us.

As the Church was being organized on April 6, 1830, the Prophet Joseph Smith received a revelation that is now recorded in the 21st section of the Doctrine and Covenants. A portion of the revelation reads:

“Behold, there shall be a record kept among you; and in it thou shalt be called a seer, a translator, a prophet, an apostle of Jesus Christ, an elder of the church through the will of God the Father, and the grace of your Lord Jesus Christ,

“Being inspired of the Holy Ghost to lay the foundation thereof, and to build it up unto the most holy faith.…

“Wherefore, meaning the church, thou shalt give heed unto all his words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;

“For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith” (D&C 21:12, 45).

Among the first instructions given to this newly organized Church was to follow the inspiration and revelation that comes from the Lord, through His prophet, in fulfilling our responsibilities to build His kingdom. He has promised to direct us in the course that should be ours to carry on this great work.

The Prophet’s Counsel

I think President Gordon B. Hinckley, our prophet today, gave us the key to balance our responsibilities in an earlier worldwide leadership training meeting, held on June 21, 2003. In that broadcast he stated:

“Your’s … is the privilege of standing in the shadow of the Redeemer of the world as we carry forward this work. Yours is the opportunity to speak of the beauty of the atoning blood of the Lord Jesus Christ in behalf of His sons and daughters. Could there be a greater privilege than this?

“Rejoice in the privilege which is yours. Your opportunity will not last forever. Too soon there will be only [p.89] the memory of the great experience you are now having.

“None of us will accomplish all we might wish to. But let us do the best we can. I am satisfied that the Redeemer will then say, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant’ (Matthew 25:21).”[2]

As you remember, in that broadcast he explained our fourfold responsibility. The first applies to the subject we are addressing in this broadcast. He stated:

“First, it is imperative that you not neglect your families. Nothing you have is more precious. Your wives and your children are deserving of the attention of their husbands and fathers. When all is said and done, it is this family relationship which we will take with us into the life beyond. To paraphrase the words of scripture, ‘What shall it profit a man though he serve the Church faithfully and lose his own family?’ (see Mark 8:36).”[3]

This has been a continuing message from our prophets since the early days of the organization of the Church. The most important place for gospel teaching and leadership is in the family and in the home. If we follow these instructions, we will give assignments and plan programs, activities, and classes which will complement and support our families.

Establishing Proper Priorities

How we use our time and keep our lives in balance is fundamental to how we will perform our family duties and our Church service. Discipline yourself to follow the prophet’s counsel on how you prioritize the use of your time.

Your Eternal Companion

Begin by discussing with your eternal companion how much time you need together to strengthen your marriage, to demonstrate the love you have for each other. That is your first priority.

The Church is to help individuals and families come unto Christ and obtain eternal life. Eternal life is God’s greatest gift to His children, and it is obtained only through a family relationship. This relationship must start with the union between husband and wife, which is sacred to the Lord and is something not to be trifled with. The marriage covenant is essential for the Lord’s plan and is the purpose for which He created the heavens and the earth. In all periods of history, He has given His divine law to safeguard and protect the holy union between husband and wife.

[p.90] Your Children

Second, consider the spiritual needs of your children. How much time is necessary to be certain you are being close to them? It is your responsibility as fathers and mothers to provide adequate time to teach them, for the most important instruction children will ever receive should come from their parents. We need to be familiar with what the Church is teaching our children so that we can be in harmony with that teaching in our instructions to each child. For example, the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth, quoting the proclamation on the family, gives young people this counsel about families:

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”[4]

The pamphlet continues:

“Being part of a family is a great blessing. Your family can provide you with companionship and happiness, help you learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and help you prepare for eternal life. Not all families are the same, but each is important in Heavenly Father’s plan.

“Do your part to build a happy home. Be cheerful, helpful, and considerate of others. Many problems in the home are created because family members speak and act selfishly or unkindly. Concern yourself with the needs of other family members. Seek to be a peacemaker rather than to tease, fight, and quarrel. Remember that the family is the most sacred unit of the Church.”[5]

Providing for Your Family

Our third priority is to provide for our family units. Again from the proclamation on the family:

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”[6]

We need to maintain good skills to be gainfully employed. In a changing world, we must keep up-to-date, or our skills will become obsolete. Even though we are busy in Church assignments, we should not pass up opportunities to increase our development and improve the welfare of our families. This requires that we invest adequate time and thought to preparing for the future.

This counsel applies to the sisters as well as the brethren. Although the responsibility to provide for the family belongs primarily to fathers, the [p.91] proclamation indicates that “disability, death, or other circumstances”[7] may also require you sisters to use and develop your skills to provide for your families.

Church Service

Fourth in our priority is our commitment to the time we spend in Church activities. Active Latter-day Saint families value their Church time and make choices in their family life to make room for it.

Leaders need to be especially sensitive to different family situations when they extend calls and create expectations. Families with young children where both parents have demanding calls that take them out of the home are the most likely to feel that Church activities interfere with their family life. Church leaders can help by acknowledging and validating members’ efforts to balance Church service with their family responsibilities.

Involving Family Members

There are ways to increase our association with our families while we serve in our Church callings by involving our families, when appropriate, in our Church service. Let me give you one personal example.

My father served as my bishop during the early years of my life. He was a busy man with a demanding legal practice. He was also active in civic affairs and in demand as a public speaker. And, of course, he was the father of six children. I was always grateful that my father had his priorities right. Mother was always his first priority. It was evident by the way he treated her. This was followed by a real dedication to each of his children.

When I was about six years old, I received a red wagon as a Christmas gift. It was exactly like this one in miniature. The little red wagon provided a real bond between my father and me. In his busy life, he had to find ways of involving his family in activities without diminishing his own productivity.

Much of his service as a bishop occurred during the Great Depression in the 1930s. Many of our ward members were in desperate need. As the bishop, he had the responsibility of supplying the means to sustain their lives. This seemed to be a good activity for a bishop, his son, and the little red wagon.

I would come home from school and find stacks on the side of the garageflour, sugar, wheat, and other commodities. I knew that that evening my father and I would have the opportunity of being together.

When he would arrive home, the little red wagon was loaded with supplies to take to a family. The two of us, walking and talking together, would complete our welfare assignment by delivering the commodities to those in need.

I was able to witness firsthand the love and care a good priesthood leader had for his ward members. More important, I had an opportunity of spending precious time with my father.

Focusing on Basic Priorities

Let me encourage you to do what we taught you in the first worldwide leadership training meeting. We remind you that all units of the Church are at different stages of development, and all units have different needs. When we are planning our Church programs, the families [p.92] must be taken into consideration.

Again, we caution you not to burden your membership with more than one Church calling, plus home teaching and visiting teaching. Discipline yourself to stick to the basic priorities, and you will be surprised how the inspiration of the Lord will direct you as you carry on your responsibilities to be a servant in His kingdom.

The ultimate focus of the restored Church is to facilitate and bring about opportunities for us to assist the Lord in His work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. We do this primarily by strengthening families. In an age of moral decline, political uncertainty, international unrest, and economic instability, our focus on strengthening and stabilizing families must be enhanced and magnified. The very purpose of the Church is to assist families in obtaining salvation and exaltation in the eternal kingdom of heaven.

The Family Guidebook

Several years ago we published a special Family Guidebook. It was for the use of members, especially those who are new converts or have limited Church experience. We encourage you to use it. It begins with a statement:

“The family is the basic unit of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the most important social unit in time and eternity. God has established families to bring happiness to His children, allow them to learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and prepare them for eternal life.

“The home is the best place to teach, learn, and apply gospel principles.”[8]

Again, we encourage you to refer to this booklet’s helpful teachings.

The Savior’s Example

Our Lord and Savior ministered personally to the people, lifting the downtrodden, giving hope to the discouraged, and seeking out the lost. By His words and actions, He showed the people that He loved and understood and appreciated them. He recognized the divine nature and eternal worth of each individual. Even when calling people to repentance, He condemned the sin without condemning the sinner.

Like our Savior, as Church leaders we should love the people we serve, showing care and concern for each one individually. May the Lord bless us in the sacred responsibility He has given us is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

2. “Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 24.

3. Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 22.

4. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

5. For the Strength of Youth (pamphlet, 2001), 10.

6. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

7. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

8. Family Guidebook (2001), 1.

[p.93]
Bonnie D. Parkin
Relief Society General President

Parents Have a Sacred Duty

Family Responsibilities

If I could have one thing happen for parents and leaders of this Church, it would be that they feel the love of the Lord in their lives each day as they care for Heavenly Father’s children. It may not be something that I say that touches your heart, but what the Spirit whispers to you. Follow those sweet promptings.

I distinctly remember when the proclamation on the family was given: September 23, 1995. I was seated in the Tabernacle at the general Relief Society meeting. President Hinckley was the concluding speaker. He presented “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” Stillness was in the congregation but also a sense of excitement, a reaction of “Yes—we need help with our families!”

I remember feeling it was so right. Tears ran down my cheeks. As I looked at the sisters seated near me, they seemed to be experiencing similar feelings. There was so much in the proclamation that I couldn’t wait to get a copy and study it. The proclamation affirms the dignity of women. And to think that it was first given to the women of the Church at the general Relief Society meeting—I know President Hinckley values women.

We are all here as Church leaders. We’re busy. But I have to remember—just like you do—that our first responsibility is to our own family. Remember, they are one of the few blessings we get to take with us to the eternities![1] Newel K. Whitney was a bishop in the early Church in Kirtland. Like you bishops today, he must have been pretty busy doing lots of good things. But he was chastened by the Lord and commanded to “set in order his family” (D&C 93:50; italics added). Sisters and brothers, this counsel applies to all of us.

Many of you are parents or grandparents, or someday you may be. But married or not, we are all members of families. Take a minute and think about your own family. What do you love about them? One thing I love about mine is I rejoice that my four sons love to be together.

What doctrine on the family does the proclamation teach? I’d like to focus on one paragraph: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”[2]

I love the words “by divine design.” Parenting is part of our Heavenly Father’s divine design for His children. As parents, we have divine responsibility to provide, protect, and nurture our families.

How can these guidelines—to provide, protect, and nurture—help us to rear righteous children?

Provide

The proclamation says parents provide the “necessities of life.” But what are those necessities? Yes, they are a roof overhead, and they are food on the table. But because of the gospel plan, we know there is more than [p.94] that. They include skills—the things that build character. Let’s look at just a few.

We provide for our children as we teach them how to work. Let me tell you about my grandson Jacob. He did not want to go to school. His mother had tried so many things. Finally she sat him down and said, “Daddy’s job is to go to work and earn money. My job is to stay home and take care of you and your brothers and sister. And your job, Jacob, is to go to school.” When Jacob understood the principle, he accepted it and went to school.

We also teach our children to work by expecting them to do chores and, when appropriate, to work outside the home. We help our children provide for their lifetimes by teaching them the value of work. Start early! My husband says the greatest gift his father gave him was independence—because he taught him to work.

Managing our finances also helps us to be good providers. As parents, plan together to live on a budget. Teach your children the difference between wants and needs. Don’t place unreasonable financial demands on your spouse. When President Hinckley counseled us to get out of debt, a father I know sat down with his married children and asked them about their finances. He was surprised to find that two had serious debt. He then asked them if he could help them make a plan.

Education and training enable parents to provide. Encourage your children to get all the education they can. In some countries, young people cannot qualify for Perpetual Education Fund loans because they have not completed secondary schooling. In today’s world, it is so important that parents continue to learn.

Protect

The second guideline I would like to talk about is protect. Protection from what? From harm—both physical and spiritual. We protect when we teach our children that they have divine worth, when we go to church as a family, when we have family home evening, when we have family prayer, when we study the scriptures together. That’s all pretty simple stuff, but I testify to you that it provides powerful protection.

The proclamation teaches that parents have a sacred duty to protect their children. Abuse can be emotional, such as talking down to a spouse or a child, treating them as worthless, or withholding love and affection. Fathers do not protect their families when they beat or strike their wives or children. A West African sister said that before joining the Church, her father beat her mother and the children. “Now,” she said, “he treats us with respect and tenderness because he understands we are children of God.”

Parents protect their children by knowing their choice of friends. One teenage girl was angry when her father questioned her about her evening’s activities. The father explained that the proclamation said he should be a protector of his family and that he loved his daughter, and that was why he wanted to be sure she was safe.

We must also protect our children from the influences of the media. Know what your children are watching on the television, in the theaters, and in their friends’ homes. If you have a computer in your home, make sure it is a tool for those things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13).

We are protected as we follow the living prophet. How have you been protected as a family by following President Hinckley’s counsel to read [p.95] the Book of Mormon? I recently received a note from a sister in England. She wrote:

“My family has struggled in the last year with a father who has chosen not to attend church any longer. He has been active all his life and has been in bishoprics. My heart has cried to the Lord about what I can do to not feel resentment and bitterness. I have family home evening and prayer on my own with the children. While in the temple I felt prompted, because of the challenge to read the Book of Mormon, to not have scripture time alone with the children but take the children and the scriptures to my husband, wherever he may be in the house. So off we march, every night at 9:00, to find him. He reads with us—not at first, but now he does. He is coming to church, meeting with us in family home evening, and leading gospel discussions. My children were the Lord’s feet and carried the words of redeeming love to my husband. This has been a great blessing to my family.”

Nurture

The third and the last guideline is nurture. What does nurturing look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? Nurturing looks like, feels like, and sounds like this scripture: “By persuasion, by long- suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness” (D&C 121:4142). Let me share just a few examples.

I think nurturing looks like disciplining with love. One young mother stops her child when he doesn’t obey. She cups her hands around his face, looking him in the eyes, and says, “Listen to my words.” We must teach our children to make wise choices, but we can’t remove the consequences of their actions. Remember, the basis of our Heavenly Father’s plan is agency.

What does nurturing feel like? Much of the teaching and relationship building in families takes place in those brief, unplanned moments during our daily routine. The dinner table is a place to connect with each other, share our daily activities, listen to and encourage each other, and even laugh together. I know laughter lightens the load. Dear mothers and fathers, make a regular mealtime for the people you love.

Are you done parenting when your children are all grown and on their own? No, the deal is that you’re never [p.96] done. But we’re in this great business of creating eternal families. While my husband and I were serving a mission in England, one of our sons and his family came to visit. I remember him saying, “We came because we needed to be nurtured.” Once a parent, always a parent. Isn’t that the best? As I finished reading the Book of Mormon in December, I was struck with the realization that even Mormon counseled his adult son Moroni: “My son, be faithful in Christ; … may Christ lift thee up … and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and eternal life, rest in your mind forever” (Moroni 9:25).

What does nurturing sound like? Sometimes it’s hard to get more than one-word answers from a teenager. Here’s a question that I’ve found to be extremely helpful in changing that: “What is the biggest challenge or struggle you have right now?” This question opens the door for youth to share. And when they do, just listen! Don’t judge or counsel or anything else. Just listen. You’ll be amazed at the connections and bonds that will be formed. Bishops and counselors, this very same question can be powerful as you interview the youth in your wards.

Nurturing sounds like family prayer. One of my most lasting memories of my father is kneeling with my brothers and sister by my parents’ bed in their small room and hearing my father plead with Heavenly Father to bless our mother, who was in the hospital. Hearing my father pour out his heart helped me know that there was a God in heaven who listens. Pray for your children about their schoolwork and for their protection during the day. Our children know of our love and expectations when they hear us pray for them.

Strengthening Families

As a leader, how do you strengthen and support the families of those you serve? You can use those same guidelines—provide, protect, and nurture—to strengthen your ward families.

Leaders support parents by honoring them, not by stepping in front to take over a child. You can be a mentor, you can share like interests, but defer to how the parents would like to have things done. One mother shared: “It has often seemed to me that the last people my teenage sons wanted to listen to were my husband and me. At times, my sons, yielding to peer pressures, have turned the parent volume down. I’m thankful for wise Church leaders who have counseled our sons. They never took over our role as parents. They listened but gave support to our guidance and redirected them back to us.”

As families, we all have needs. Just a few heartfelt words about mothers who parent alone: Let me share with you the story of a mother of five whose husband was deployed overseas. She relates:

“When my husband left in early February, we had reliable vehicles. However, by November, they had broken down, and we were not able to repair them. During this same time, my 17-year-old son let me know that he wasn’t planning to serve a mission because he wasn’t sure if the gospel was true. If ever there was a time in my life that I needed the blessings of the priesthood, it was then. I don’t remember all the details or when and where, but I distinctly remember receiving more than one blessing from caring priesthood holders during that time. I always knew that I could call on my home teachers and they would be there. Neither one could fix my van, but they could give me much-needed priesthood blessings, and they found someone who could fix the car.”

Devoted home teachers made a difference for this family, and they can make a difference for all single-parent families as they come to know them, gain their trust, and provide priesthood blessings. Bishops, high priests group leaders, and elders quorum presidents, these mothers need the blessings of the priesthood in their home, as do our remarkable single sisters.

President Hinckley warned about the “slow stain of the world” 10 years ago when the proclamation was issued. This prophetic declaration reaffirms the Lord’s “standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family.”[3] In contrast, the world tries to dictate the roles of women and motherhood. Women today are told they need a [p.97] thriving career, organizations to belong to, and, if they have resources, children. The honored role of mother is increasingly out of fashion. Let me make it clear: we must not allow the world to compromise what we know is given to us by divine design.

Sisters, let me speak directly to you for just a few minutes. As members of the Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is our blessing and our responsibility to nurture and sustain the family unit. Everyone belongs to a family, and every family needs to be strengthened and protected.

My greatest help in becoming a homemaker came first from my own mother and grandmother and next from the Relief Society sisters in the different wards where we have lived. I learned skills; I saw modeled the joys that come from creating a home where others want to be. Effective January 2006, there were new guidelines for home, family, and personal enrichment meetings and activities. They provide increased flexibility in order for all sisters to participate in Relief Society. Now, Relief Society leaders, make sure that the meetings and the activities you plan will strengthen the homes of all your sisters.

Visiting teaching is another vehicle to support the family. I hope all of you have opportunity to be visiting teachers. Visiting teachers not only strengthen a sister spiritually but are also in a unique position to nurture and to assess needs. Relief Society leaders, be proactive in your welfare committee meetings, and report on spiritual and temporal needs identified by your visiting teachers.

The Pure Love of Christ

For those of you who are married, think back. What made you fall in love with your spouse? Remembering this can give you a forgiving heart. Express your love to each other. A wife can make a difference in her husband’s life as she builds his self-confidence. A husband can brighten even the darkest day with three simple words: “I love you.” One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to show them they love each other.

Our role as parents in rearing righteous children is to provide, protect, and nurture, and we do that as equal partners. We do the same as leaders. Being a leader is hard work. Being a parent is hard work. We get discouraged, but we just keep going. I think we learn so much about the pure love of Christ in our families and through Church service.

As parents and leaders, we need to give to our children the love our Heavenly Father extends to us. In Moroni 8:17 we read, “I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love. Add to this the Lord’s words: Clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace” (D&C 88:125). I invite you, in all of your dealings, to put on the mantle of charity, to envelop your family in the pure love of Christ.

As families and leaders, may the Lord bless you to encircle those you love with the mantle of charity, that all of us may return to the presence of our Father in Heaven and live with Him together forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. See Gordon B. Hinckley, “Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 22.

2. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

3. “Stand Strong against the Wiles of the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 100.

[p.98]
President Thomas S. Monson
First Counselor in the First Presidency

Heavenly Homes, Forever Families

Building an Eternal Home

It is in a spirit of humility that I represent the First Presidency as the concluding speaker for this meeting. We have been inspired and edified by the remarks of Elder Bednar, Elder Perry, and Sister Parkin. Our thoughts have centered on home and family as we have been reminded that “the home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions.”[1]

A home is much more than a house built of lumber, brick, or stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. We are responsible for the homes we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live not only influence the success of our earthly journey, they also mark the way to our eternal goals.

Some Latter-day Saint families are comprised of mother, father, and children, all at home, while others have witnessed the tender departure of one, then another, then another of their members. Sometimes a single individual comprises a family. Whatever its composition, the family continues—for families can be forever.

We can learn from the master architect—even the Lord. He has taught us how we must build. He declared, “Every … house divided against itself shall not stand” (Matthew 12:25). Later He cautioned, “Behold, mine house is a house of order … and not a house of confusion” (D&C 132:8).

In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith at Kirtland, Ohio, December 27, 1832, the Master counseled, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119; see also 109:8).

Where could any of us locate a more suitable blueprint whereby he could wisely and properly build? Such a house would meet the building code outlined in Matthew, even a house built “upon a rock” (Matthew 7:24, 25; see also Luke 6:48; 3 Nephi 14:24, 25), a house capable of withstanding the rains of adversity, the floods of opposition, and the winds of doubt everywhere present in our changing and challenging world.

Some might question, “But that revelation was to provide guidance for the construction of a temple. Is it relevant today?”

I would respond, “Did not the Apostle Paul declare, ‘Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?’” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

Let the Lord be the general contractor for our building project. Then each of us can be subcontractors responsible for a vital segment of the whole project. All of us are thereby builders. In addition to building our own homes, we also have the [p.99] responsibility to help build the kingdom of God here upon the earth by serving faithfully and effectively in our Church callings. May I provide guidelines from God, lessons from life, and points to ponder as we commence to build.

Kneel Down to Pray

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6). So spoke the wise Solomon, son of David, king of Israel.

On this, the American continent, Jacob, the brother of Nephi, declared, “Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith” (Jacob 3:1).

This divinely inspired counsel comes to us today as crystal-clear water to a parched earth. We live in troubled times.

Just a few short generations ago, one could not have imagined the world in which we now live and the problems it presents. We are surrounded by immorality, pornography, violence, drugs, and a host of other ills which afflict modern-day society. [p.100] Ours is the challenge, even the responsibility, not only to keep ourselves “unspotted from the world” (James 1:27) but also to guide our children and others for whom we have responsibility safely through the stormy seas of sin surrounding all of us, that we might one day return to live with our Heavenly Father.

The training of our own families requires our presence, our time, our best efforts. To be effective in our training, we must be stalwart in our examples to our family members and available for private time with each member, as well as time for counseling and guidance.

We often feel overwhelmed by the task before us. However, help is ever at hand. He who knows each of His children will answer our fervent and heartfelt prayer as we seek help in guiding them. Such prayer will solve more problems, alleviate more suffering, prevent more transgression, and bring about greater peace and contentment in the human soul than any other way.

Besides needing such guidance for our own families, we have been called to positions where we have responsibility for others. As a bishop or counselor, as a priesthood quorum leader or an auxiliary leader, you have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. There may be those who come from part-member or less-active families; some may have turned from their parents, disregarding their pleadings and counsel. We could well be the instrument in the Lord’s hands to make a difference in the life of one in such a situation. Without the guidance of our Heavenly Father, however, we cannot do all that we have been called to do. Such help comes through prayer.

A prominent American judge was asked what we, as citizens of the countries of the world, could do to reduce crime and disobedience to law and to bring peace and contentment into our lives and into our nations. He thoughtfully replied, “I would suggest a return to the old-fashioned practice of family prayer.”

As a people, aren’t we grateful that family prayer is not an out-of-date practice with us? There is real meaning behind the oft-quoted adage, “The family that prays together stays together.”

The Lord Himself directed that we have family prayer when He said, “Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (3 Nephi 18:21).

As parents, as teachers, and as leaders in any capacity, we cannot afford to attempt this potentially perilous journey through mortality without heavenly assistance to aid us in guiding those for whom we have responsibility.

As we offer unto God our family prayers and our personal prayers, let us do so with faith and trust in Him. Kneel down to pray.

Step Up to Serve

For our example, we turn to the life of the Lord. Like a glowing searchlight of goodness is the life of Jesus as He ministered among men. He brought strength to the limbs of the cripple, sight to the eyes of the blind, hearing to the ears of the deaf, and life to the body of the dead.

His parables preach power. With the good Samaritan, He taught, “Love thy neighbor” (see Luke 10:30–35). Through His kindness to the woman taken in adultery, He taught compassionate understanding (see John 8:3–11). In His parable of the talents, [p.101] He taught us to improve ourselves and to strive for perfection (see Matthew 25:14–30). Well could He have been preparing us for our role in building an eternal family.

Each of us—whether a priesthood leader or an officer in an auxiliary organization—has responsibility to his or her sacred call. We have been set apart for the work to which we have been called. In Doctrine and Covenants 107:99 the Lord said, “Wherefore, now let every man learn his duty, and to act in the office in which he is appointed, in all diligence.” As we help to bless and strengthen those for whom we have responsibility in our Church callings, we will in effect be blessing and strengthening their families. Thus, the service we perform in our families and in our Church callings can have eternal consequences.

Many years ago, as a bishop in a large and diverse ward of over a thousand members located in downtown Salt Lake City, I faced numerous challenges.

One Sunday afternoon I received a phone call from the proprietor of a drugstore located within our ward boundaries. He indicated that earlier that morning, a young boy had come into his store and had purchased an ice-cream sundae from the soda fountain. He had paid for the purchase with money he took from an envelope, and then when he left, he had forgotten the envelope. When the proprietor had a chance to examine it, he found that it was a fast-offering envelope with the name and telephone number of our ward printed on it. As he described to me the boy who had been in his store, I immediately identified the individual—a young deacon from our ward who came from a less-active family.

My first reaction was one of shock and disappointment to think that any of our deacons would take fast-offering funds intended for those in need and would go to a store on a Sunday and buy a treat with the money. I determined to visit the boy that afternoon in order to teach him about the sacred funds of the Church and his duty as a deacon to gather and to protect those funds.

As I drove to the home, I offered a silent prayer for direction in what I should say to compose the situation. I arrived and knocked on the door. It was opened by the boy’s mother, and I was invited into the living room. Although the room was barely lighted, I could see how small and run-down it was. The few pieces of furniture were threadbare. The mother herself looked worn out.

My indignation at her son’s actions that morning disappeared from my thoughts as I realized that here was a family in real need. I felt impressed to ask the mother if there was any food in the house. Tearfully she admitted that there was none. She told me that her husband had been out of work for some time and that they were in desperate need not only of food but also of money with which to pay the rent so that they wouldn’t be evicted from the tiny house.

I never did bring up the matter of the fast-offering donations, for I realized that the boy had most likely been desperately hungry when he stopped at the drugstore. Rather, I immediately arranged for assistance for the family, that they might have food to eat and a roof over their heads. In addition, with the help of the priesthood leaders in the ward, we were able to arrange employment for the husband so that he could provide for his family in the future.

As priesthood and auxiliary leaders, we are entitled to the Lord’s assistance in magnifying our callings and fulfilling our responsibilities. [p.102] Seek His help, and when the inspiration comes to you, move on that inspiration concerning where to go, whom to see, what to say, and how to say it. We can think a thought to death, but only when we move upon the thought do we bless human lives.

May we be true shepherds of those for whom we have responsibility. John Milton wrote in his poem “Lycidas,” “The hungry Sheep look up, and are not fed” (line 125). The Lord Himself said to Ezekiel the prophet, “Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that … feed not the flock” (Ezekiel 34:2–3).

Ours is the responsibility to care for the flock, for the precious sheep, these tender lambs, are everywhere to be found—at home in our own families, in the homes of our extended families, and waiting for us in our Church callings. Jesus is our Exemplar. Said He, “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep” (John 10:14). We have a shepherding responsibility. May we each step up to serve.

Reach Out to Rescue

On the journey along the pathway of life, there are casualties. Some depart from the road markers which lead to life eternal only to discover that the detour chosen ultimately leads to a dead end. Indifference, carelessness, selfishness, and sin all take their costly toll in human lives. There are those who, for unexplained reasons, march to the sound of a different drummer, later to learn they have followed the Pied Piper of sorrow and suffering.

In 1995 the First Presidency took note of those who had strayed from the fold of Christ and issued a special statement entitled “An Invitation to Come Back.” The message contained this appeal:

“To you who for any reason find yourselves outside the embrace of the Church, we say come back. We invite you to return and partake of the happiness you once knew. You will find many with outstretched arms to welcome you, assist you, and give you comfort.

“The Church needs your strength, love, loyalty, and devotion. The course is fixed and certain by which a person may return to the full blessings of Church membership, and we stand ready to receive all who wish to do so.”

Perhaps an oft-repeated scene will bring closer to home your personal opportunity to reach out to rescue. Let us look in on a family with a son named Jack. Throughout Jack’s early life, he and his father had many serious arguments. One day when he was 17, they had a particularly agitated one. Jack said to his father, “This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I’m leaving home, and I will never return!” He went to his room and packed a bag. His mother begged him to stay, but he was too angry to listen. He left her crying in the doorway.

Leaving the yard, he was about to pass through the gate when he heard his father call to him, “Jack, I know that a large share of the blame for your leaving rests with me. For this I am truly sorry. I want you to know that if you should ever wish to return home, you’ll always be welcome. And I’ll try to be a better father to you. I want you to know that I love you, and I’ll always love you.”

Jack said nothing but went to the bus station and bought a ticket to a distant point. As he sat in the bus watching the miles go by, his thoughts turned to the words of his father. He began to realize how much courage, how much love had been required for his father to say what he had said. Dad had apologized. He had invited him back and had left the words ringing in the summer air, “I love you.”

Jack knew that the next move was up to him. He realized the only way he could ever find peace with himself was [p.103] to demonstrate to his father the same kind of maturity, goodness, and love that Dad had shown toward him. Jack got off the bus. He bought a return ticket and began the journey home.

He arrived shortly after midnight, entered the house, and turned on the light. There in the rocking chair sat his father, his head bowed. As he looked up and saw Jack, he arose from the chair; they rushed into each other’s arms. Jack later said, “Those last years that I was home were among the happiest of my life.”

Here was a father who, suppressing passion and bridling pride, reached out to rescue his son before he became one of that vast “lost battalion” resulting from fractured families and shattered homes. Love was the binding band, the healing balm; love so often felt, so seldom expressed.

From Mount Sinai there thunders in our ears, “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12), and later, from that same God, the injunction, “Live together in love” (D&C 42:45).

Following the Lord’s Blueprint

Kneel down to pray. Step up to serve. Reach out to rescue. Each is a vital page of God’s blueprint to make a house a home and a home a heaven.

Balance is key to us in our sacred and solemn responsibilities in our own homes and in our Church callings. We must use wisdom, inspiration, and sound judgment as we care for our families and fulfill our Church callings, for each is vitally important. We cannot neglect our families; we must not neglect our Church callings.

Let us build with skill, take no shortcuts, and follow His blueprint. Then the Lord, even our building inspector, may say to us, as He said when He appeared to Solomon, a builder of another day, “I have hallowed this house, which thou hast built, to put my name there for ever; and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually” (1 Kings 9:3). We will then have heavenly homes and forever families and will be able to help, to strengthen, and to bless other families as well.

I pray most humbly and sincerely that this blessing may come to each of us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Note

1. First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999; see Liahona, Dec. 1999, 1; or Ensign, June 1999, 80.

February 10, 2007
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: Teaching and Learning

- Pres. Boyd K. Packer & Elder L. Tom Perry: Principles of Teaching and Learning

- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: Teaching and Learning in the Church

- Pres. Thomas S. Monson: Examples of Great Teachers

(Ensign, June 2007, pp. 81-112)

[p.82]
President Boyd K. Packer
Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Elder L. Tom Perry
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Principles of Teaching and Learning

President Packer: Our theme is teaching and learning the gospel of Jesus Christ, both in the classroom and at home. All of us—leaders, teachers, missionaries, and parents—have a lifelong challenge from the Lord to both teach and learn the doctrines of the gospel as they have been revealed to us.

We will begin with a brief conversation between Elder L. Tom Perry and myself on principles that build good teaching. My assignment is to convey a few personal experiences that have taught me much about teaching and learning. If you watch and listen carefully, you will notice that to be a good teacher you must also be a willing learner.

Our conversation will be followed by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, who will instruct us on preparing to teach. He will then join a classroom of students to demonstrate an example of classroom teaching.

Any of the Twelve could have effectively given this demonstration. Each would have varied his approach from the others. There is no one method that works for all teachers or situations. The Spirit is essential in guiding us to use our own preparation, experience, personality, knowledge, and testimony in any particular teaching situation.

Leaders’ Responsibilities

Leaders have a responsibility to teach, whether they are in councils or interviews or worship services. They also have a responsibility to ensure that teacher development and effective gospel learning are ongoing in the lives of members.

To that end, the First Presidency issued a letter dated November 17, 2006, discontinuing the positions of ward and stake teacher improvement coordinators. Accompanying the letter was a list of “Leaders’ Responsibilities for Teacher Improvement.” We trust that with the principles taught in this broadcast, together with the suggestions and resources stated in the letter, priesthood and auxiliary leaders will counsel together to improve gospel teaching and learning. It should not be necessary to hold special meetings for teacher improvement other than in your councils and interviews from time to time as needed.

We pray that this training broadcast may help you become better teachers [p.84]and students of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Willingness to Learn

Elder Perry: President, you wrote a book entitled Teach Ye Diligently. Every position in the Church requires an effective teacher. It is our most important calling. Could we visit for a few minutes and talk about teaching diligently as a requirement in our several Church callings?

President Packer: I was appointed seminary supervisor, and I didn’t know anything. I was assigned then, employed, and paid more or less to go about the Church to tell seminary teachers how to teach and what they did wrong. That was very embarrassing, because I would go into a class and see teachers do something and have to correct them when I knew I did that every time I taught, and I had learned something about it.

Elder Harold B. Lee and Elder Marion G. Romney were always teaching, and they would, in a sense, go out of their way to tell me something or teach me something. I think the reason they did it—I’m not sure they ever saw me in this position or calling—is that I had one virtue: I wanted to learn, and I didn’t resent it. And if you don’t resent it, and if you want to learn, the Lord will keep teaching you, sometimes things you really didn’t think you wanted to know.

Both of those great teachers would teach me. When I would see Brother Romney, sometimes he would say, “Kid, I want to tell you something.” I knew it was coming. He was going to tell me I was doing something that I shouldn’t do, and I would always thank him.

I learned early on that there is great value in listening to experience in older people. I had a stake president once who said, “I always tried to be in the presence of great people.” He was in a little town in Idaho, but he said, “If there was a lecturer coming or something special, I would always try to be there, because I could learn.”

I have always been drawn to associate with older people (now I am one). I remember in the Quorum of the Twelve, LeGrand Richards didn’t walk as fast as the other Brethren, and I would always wait and open the door for him and walk back to the building with him. One day one of the Brethren said, “Oh, you’re so kind to take care of Brother Richards.” And I thought, “You don’t know my selfish motive”—as we would walk back, I would just listen to him. I knew that he could remember Wilford Woodruff, and he would speak. One-on-one teaching is very powerful. Generally one-on-one teaching is what happens when you are corrected.

Another principle of teaching is to arise from your bed early (see D&C 88:124)—but the easy part of that, or the hard part, is to retire to your bed—and then reflect in the morning when your mind is clear. That’s when the ideas come to teach.

I don’t know how often I have had an assignment come and I didn’t have a clue in my mind what to do. Yesterday I was in a meeting of the General Authorities. I knew I was [p.85] going to speak first, and I thought, “What will I say?” And I was confident it would come, and it came.

Using the Scriptures

Elder Perry: What is the importance of using the scriptures in your teaching?

President Packer: I have always relied on the scriptures. The best example of teaching and how to teach, the best model for teaching methods, besides the subject matter, which is the gospel, is the Lord and His teaching. That’s why I don’t like to go to the pulpit or stand in front of a class without my scriptures in hand. I have got them in hand today.

Elder Perry: President, you’ve carried those scriptures around with you. Every time I’ve been with you, you’ve had those scriptures. You told us the story one time of how they were in the water, and that only helped them because you could turn to them faster.

President Packer: Well, I was studying outside on the lawn and was called away and left my scriptures open on the little table—I forgot them, as old men will do—and the sprinklers went on. I came out in the morning and thought, “Oh, my scriptures that I’ve marked up for 50 years are gone.” I found out it just loosened the pages. I think if I had to get new scriptures, I’d put them out in the rain before I started using them.

Elder Perry: People always talk to us about the scriptures and, some of them, how difficult it is to get through them. How do you make the scriptures come alive in your teaching?

President Packer: Stay at it. I remember when I determined I was going to read the Book of Mormon. I was in my teens. I opened it and read, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents” (1 Nephi 1:1). And I went on through the chapters, and I was learning things. It was interesting, and I could follow it until I got over to the Isaiah chapters and the Old Testament prophet language. So a few months later I decided to try again to read the Book of Mormon. I read, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents,” but every time I’d hit the barrier of those Isaiah chapters, and I wondered why they were in there. Finally I decided I was even going to read them. So when I was a teenager, I just had to look at the words. I didn’t understand it, but I could turn the pages and then go on through. When you get over in Alma, you will sail on through.

So you have to be determined to read them, and not just glean from them, but read them from beginning to end—the Book of Mormon, the New Testament, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price. For years I made it a practice to read the scriptures each summer when we had a little time off, to refresh the store that’s there.

Pray for the Gift of Teaching

Elder Perry: What counsel would you give recent converts prior to their first calling as a teacher?

President Packer: I would tell them they can do it. Everybody can teach. I would counsel them to pray for the gift of teaching. You know, the Book of Mormon speaks of gifts and outlines several gifts, among them to teach the gospel by the Spirit (see Moroni 10:8–10). When I read that years ago, I thought, “That’s a gift I want, to be able to teach by the Spirit.” I found out from the scriptures that you have to ask for it— ask and ye shall receive—so I would tell them to keep asking and seeking, “and ye shall find” (see Matthew 7:7; 3 Nephi 27:29) and that the gift has to be earned, but it can come.

Seeking the Spirit

Elder Perry: What should teachers do to ensure that they have the Spirit in their teaching?

President Packer: You have to live worthily, and you have to ask for help. You can ask for help if you are parents. And then you have to keep the commandments and pray constantly, unceasingly for the ability and the inspiration to know what to [p.86]do and when to do it. The Lord won’t fail you: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18). “Whatsoever . . . ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive,” it will be given you (Enos 1:15). Then one of the scriptures adds a little—if it’s good for you (see Moroni 7:26). The gospel is very practical.

You may be an older person who thinks that your ministry is finished, you may be a young person who is frightened about everything or a mother who is so busy with the children or a father who is preoccupied, but you can teach, and you can pray, and you can be guided. And you will. You’ll be blessed of the Lord—I can promise you that.

When the Lord was teaching, He always dealt with things that the people knew about. For instance, “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a net” (Matthew 13:47)—it isn’t really a net, but it’s just like unto it; and then He explained why. And “the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking [after] goodly pearls” (Matthew 13:45). When He gave the parable of the sower (see Matthew 13:3–8), that was something they could relate to, and it’s not only possible but quite probable, after He gave the parable of the sower and talked about seeds being thrown on hard ground and on productive ground, that a month later one of those who was hearing and out doing some planting, seeing the seeds in his hand, would relive that lesson.

If you use parables and stories and illustrations, it lives after the students are out of the class. His method was remarkably simple. He was at times fairly stern, but always His teachings were on their level.

Teaching is a sacred calling, a holy calling. The thing I think I would tell teachers is that they never teach alone. They never have to be alone. The Lord has promised that in the scriptures. Alma said the Lord granteth unto all nations, in every tongue, teachers (see Alma 29:8), and the Lord said, “Teach ye diligently and my grace [will] attend you” (D&C 88:78>).

I don’t know how to teach the gospel without a constancy of prayer. You can speak a prayer, but you can also think a prayer. A lot of times when I’ve been teaching a group or a class I’ve just been praying inwardly, “How can I get through?” And I don’t know how to do it other than having that power available.

The Responsibility to Teach

Elder Perry: Teaching is central in all the activities of the Church. Who has the responsibility to prepare themselves to teach?

President Packer: Everybody is a teacher—the leader is a teacher; the follower is a teacher; the counselor is a teacher; the parents are teachers. So we have a responsibility to learn the principles of teaching. The Lord set up His Church so that we all do everything in the Church. There’s a statement in the Doctrine and Covenants that “every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, . . . the Savior of the world” (D&C 1:20). How blessed we are that we have a lay priesthood, as it is called, so that all of the brethren can hold the priesthood. All of the sisters are eligible for callings in the Church, and all of us will be parents. Therefore, teaching is the center of all that we do.

Elder Perry: You’ve mentioned teaching in the home. What is the difference between teaching in the Church and teaching in the home? Is there any great difference?

President Packer: In the home it’s more intimate and better and easier and less formal, and parents are teaching by example. Parents also teach some things that are kind of painful to kids when they ask “why,” and all the parents can say is “because”—because they don’t know why, they just know it isn’t the thing to do, and they teach them obedience so that [p.87] they will know and understand. And at home there’s that powerful bond of love between parent and child that you won’t let go until you get it taught.

Teaching by the Spirit

Elder Perry: President, how do you get the Spirit in the classroom from the teacher to the students in such a way that it will be a meaningful experience to them?

President Packer: First, they have to know that you love them, that you want to teach them. Then you have to communicate on their level. We can’t float around above them—even in the gospel—about subjects that they cannot connect with. That isn’t what the Lord did. The Lord walked with them and talked with them in everyday life, and His teachings were on that level always.

If you have something to teach, they really want to learn. Teenagers even—teenagers especially—want to learn. They have a thirst for it.

A lot of teachers think they have to be prepared to the very sentence. Yes and no. That preparation includes having the presentation loose enough to involve the students and having them ask questions and bringing them into it. You have to leave a little room for inspiration.

We have a memory prompter in the Holy Ghost. If we have a challenge of something to teach, and we think about who we are and what we do, there’s always some little experience we’ve had or someplace we’ve been or something we’ve seen that we can bring into the lesson. And the scriptures are part of all of that. They aren’t just a book you read now and again to figure out the rules and regulations of the Church.

Quite a bit of teaching that is done in the Church is done so rigidly, it’s lecture. We don’t respond to lectures too well in classrooms. We do in sacrament meeting and at conferences, but teaching can be two-way so that you can ask questions. You can sponsor questions easily in a class.

Suppose you were teaching the Martyrdom of the Prophet Joseph Smith. Here you are a Church history teacher, and you’ve studied it all, and you know it was on June 27, 1844, at 5:00 p.m. in the Carthage Jail when the Prophet was shot. If you ask them what time of day and where and so on the Prophet was shot, none of them will know. You didn’t know before you read the manual. But you can say, “What brought him to that? What do you think brought him to that?” The minute you say, “What do you think?” they have something to say. They can contribute; even the students that are the most backward will have something to say. So there’s a way to handle questions and to monitor and manage the class. Respond to questions. Feel free to ask questions in a class.

You can’t give away something you haven’t got anymore than you can come back from someplace you haven’t been. So you have got to have the Spirit.

[p.89]
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Teaching and Learning in the Church

A High Priority

We thank President Packer and Elder Perry for that inspiring foundation for our subject today, and we look forward to the capstone message that will come from President Monson at the close of our meeting.

It’s indicative of the high priority the presiding Brethren give to the subject of teaching and learning that we are devoting all of our worldwide leadership training broadcast this year to this subject. Perhaps the reason for that is obvious. We all understand that the success of the gospel message depends upon its being taught and then understood and then lived in such a way that its promise of happiness and salvation can be realized.

For that reason, Jesus’s great final charge to His disciples just prior to His Ascension into heaven was:

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world” (Matthew 28:19–20; emphasis added).

What the Savior stresses in that passage is that however much there is to do in living the gospel—and there is much we are to do to live it—none of that can be accomplished until we have been taught those truths and have learned the way of the gospel. For several years now, President Hinckley has been counseling us to hold our people close to the Church, especially the youth and the new converts. He said we all need a friend, a responsibility, and nourishing “by the good word of God” (Moroni 6:4; see also Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Apr. 1997, 66; or Ensign, May 1997, 47).

Inspired instruction in the home and in the Church helps provide this crucial element of nourishing by the good word of God. And the opportunity to magnify that call exists everywhere—fathers, mothers, siblings, friends, missionaries, priesthood and auxiliary leaders and teachers, classroom instructors, including our wonderful seminary and institute teachers, who join us today. Well, the list goes on and on. In fact, in this Church, it is virtually impossible to find anyone who is not a teacher.

[p.90] President Packer made that point in his exchange with Elder Perry. He said, “Everybody is a teacher”—the leader, the follower, the parent, the counselor. Little wonder that the Apostle Paul would say in his writings, “God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers.” After that would come the broad blessing of miracles, spiritual gifts, and heavenly manifestations (see 1 Corinthians 12:28).

Underscoring the divine nature of those who were called as instructors, a young Apostle by the name of David O. McKay said in general conference in 1916, “No greater responsibility can rest upon any man [or woman], than to be a teacher of God’s children” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1916, 57). That’s still true. We picked from that quote the title for our wonderful teacher’s help and manual in the Church, Teaching, No Greater Call. That wonderfully revered Primary hymn “I Am a Child of God” has the children singing this request to parents and teachers:

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.
(Hymns, no. 301)

That is our common task in this Church. That is our shared responsibility. We are all children of God, and we must teach each other; we must help each other “find the way.” That is what we are going to try to do today.

Preparing to Teach

You can see from these materials spread out on this table that I am trying to prepare a lesson. Does it look familiar? It’s today’s lesson—a lesson for all of you. Preparing for any class is hard work, and it takes time. In that regard, may I encourage you to start thinking about and planning early for any lesson that you are to give.

For example, if I were going to teach a class on Sunday, I would read through and begin praying about that lesson the Sunday before. That gives me a full week to pray, to seek inspiration, to think, to read and watch for real-life applications that will give vitality to my message. You won’t finalize the lesson that early, but you will be surprised to find how many things come to you during the week, how much God gives you—things that you will feel to use when you do finalize your preparation.

[p.91] In discussing preparation, may I also encourage you to avoid a temptation that faces almost every teacher in the Church; at least it has certainly been my experience. That is the temptation to cover too much material, the temptation to stuff more into the hour—or more into the students—than they can possibly hold! Remember two things in this regard: first of all, we are teaching people, not subject matter per se; and second, every lesson outline that I have ever seen will inevitably have more in it than we can possibly cover in the allotted time.

So stop worrying about that. It’s better to take just a few good ideas and get good discussion—and good learning—than to be frenzied, trying to teach every word in the manual. In these materials lying before me, I already have three or four times the content that I can possibly say or share with you today in the allotted time period of a classroom hour. So, like you, I have had to choose and select; I’m holding some material over for another day.

An unrushed atmosphere is absolutely essential if you are to have the Spirit of the Lord present in your class. Please don’t ever forget that. Too many of us rush. We rush right past the Spirit of the Lord trying to beat the clock in some absolutely unnecessary footrace.

Teaching Demonstration

Well, let’s return now to that wonderful discussion between President Packer and Elder Perry to find some of the key points for success in this great task of teaching and learning. To do that we are going to enter a classroom here at Church headquarters where we are going to interact in something of the same way we hope you will do in your classroom, wherever that may be in the world. This is unrehearsed and spontaneous, just the way your classes are. The teacher has done his best to prepare and pray—I reassure you that I have done that—and so have the students. Now, having had an opening prayer for our class, we are going to trust in the Spirit of the Lord to guide us in our teaching experience.

Welcome to class. This is intended to be something of an average class size, más o menos. Some of you will [p.92] have more, and some of you will have less, but the principles for teaching will be essentially the same whatever the size of the class. Here we have 15 absolutely perfect and beautiful people in our audience and a 16th that includes you, out in that worldwide audience we’re reaching to.

Listen for new ideas, things that may come to only you. They may not have anything to do with what we are saying. But that is how the Spirit works. Be open to promptings about how you can teach. And remember, you can teach! You can do this!

Everybody Can Teach

Elder Perry posed a question for President Packer midway in their conversation: “What would you say to a new teacher?” If someone were newly called, what would you advise him or her to do? What would you say to help this teacher take courage and be able to accept the call and fulfill it and enjoy it?

Brother Charles W. Dahlquist II: You can do it.

Elder Holland: You can do it. Everybody can teach. And that is what President Packer said when he answered that question from Brother Perry.

He referred to scriptures that promise you that you can do it. The scriptures always provide an extra reassurance. Do any scriptures come to mind?

Elder Jay E. Jensen: Moroni 10:17.

Elder Holland: Moroni 10, the last chapter in the Book of Mormon, is a great summary statement about gifts. Do you want to read that, Brother Jensen?

Elder Jensen: “And all these gifts come by the Spirit of Christ; and they come unto every man severally.”

Elder Holland: That’s wonderful.

Elder Jensen: It excludes no one.

Elder Holland: No one is left out of that. Sometimes we think it means, “Everybody but me, everybody can teach but me, or everybody can lead but me.” Well, that’s not the case. These are gifts to everyone. Note a little warning on that, as long as we are in the subject. Brother Jensen, read the first couple of lines of verse eight.

Elder Jensen: “And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the gifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God” (Moroni 10:8).

Elder Holland: I think there is a little temptation for us to “deny.” We kind of hang back. When a call comes, or we’re to face a classroom—and that is a pretty intimidating experience for any of us—I think there is something in us that says, “I can’t do this, and I’m [p.93] going to deny. I’m going to deny that the gift can come; I’m going to deny that the gift is mine. I’m going to, in a sense, deny the authenticity of the call.” In a way, that is what we’re saying. And what Moroni says here is “Don’t deny”: “Deny not the gifts of God, for they are many.”

“Ask and Ye Shall Receive”

I’m thinking of something the Savior Himself said directly to His disciples in the New Testament, and I am told that it is the scriptural promise and declaration repeated more than almost any other in all of scripture. Someone said that some variation of this appears a hundred times in the scriptures. Now, if it appeared only once or twice, I guess we could embrace it once or twice, but something repeated 20, 40, 60, or 80 times obviously has great significance for the Lord.

Does anybody have any idea what this promise is?

Sister Vicki F. Matsumori: I would think it is the scripture that says something about ask and knock and you shall receive.

Elder Holland: That’s it. Sister Matsumori, as long as you’ve led us into that, would you read Matthew 7:7? This is from the Sermon on the Mount and one of many places where this promise is expressed.

Sister Matsumori: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Elder Holland: Thank you. I love the crisp, clear, declarative spirit of that promise. If we ask, we will receive, and if we knock, it will be opened. We can do this.

Now at this point we are starting to accumulate some ideas. I am going to ask Sister Kathy Hughes of our general Relief Society presidency to be our scribe. We have a theme developing, given to us by President Packer in his exchange with Elder Perry. And that would be “The Gift of Teaching.” Would you write that up on the board as a heading for us, Sister Hughes?

We are going to list some of the things we want to remember about how to pursue the gift of teaching. The one that Sister Matsumori just gave us would be number 1: “Ask, seek, and knock spiritually”—perhaps the most fundamental requirement for a teacher in seeking this gift that God has promised us.

Elder W. Rolfe Kerr: It seems to me that it’s very important to put the concluding piece to this and even maybe have it in front of us. What comes from asking is that we receive. What comes from seeking is that we find. We knock, and it is opened.

Elder Holland: Let’s write that on the board, Sister Hughes, that we are going to receive. There is a promise in this.

Brother Orin Howell: Along with that, I like Luke 12:12, where it says, “For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.”

Elder Holland: That starts to open up a wider world, because we are always talking that way to the missionaries. We are forever talking to the missionaries about opening their mouths, telling them that if they have prepared and done the best they can, God will give them what to say in the hour of their need. That is a wonderful, broad, whole new idea about asking and receiving at the appointed hour. That’s a terrific verse, Orin.

Sister Tamu Smith: I think that sometimes when I am in situations where I feel overwhelmed, being a convert to the Church and being asked to teach a class where people come from pioneer heritage, the Spirit does touch you to say something [p.94] that you don’t feel inclined to say. In Exodus 4:12, it says, “Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” I think that if we are willing to allow the Spirit to move us to say those things, even though we may not feel like we have all the answers, we let Heavenly Father do His job in speaking through us.

Elder Holland: What a wonderful verse. In all of my years of discussing this subject, I don’t know that I have ever heard that one used, so thank you, Sister Smith. And the context there, of course, is this overwhelming task that Moses had to help the children of Israel extricate themselves from life’s problems. That’s what all of us face. That’s a terrific verse to say, “Just don’t worry; it will be given to you.” Thanks for that reference.

Well, keep these citations in mind if you are going to teach such a subject. You can use these or many, many more.

Teach from the Scriptures

Elder Steven E. Snow: Many of us when we are called to teach are just overwhelmed with the enormity of the assignment and feel inadequate and unprepared. But you know, if we will do our best to study the resources we are given and get into the scriptures and then just trust in the Spirit, we will be helped through the process. I think sometimes we just are overwhelmed because we don’t know enough.

Elder Holland: Absolutely. We all feel that way; every teacher who has ever taught has felt that way. I think it’s fair to say that all of us here represent the collective effort of the Church to put good material in people’s hands. We really do have good curricular materials. We have good lesson manuals. They don’t teach themselves, but there is a great reassurance there that we are not in this alone, and we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. We have wonderful resources, and we are going to talk about those throughout the day. That helps us not feel quite so overwhelmed.

When President Packer was talking with Elder Perry, he said, “I always relied on [blank],” whether at the pulpit or standing in the front of the class. He said he never wanted to go anywhere without them. To what was he referring?

Sister Julie B. Beck: The scriptures.

Elder Holland: The scriptures, absolutely. Would you write number 2, Sister Hughes: “Teach from the scriptures.”

I don’t think that we can overstate this or overestimate this in our role of teaching in the Church. Obviously, the very substance of the gospel, the scriptures themselves are the things that we are being called to teach, whether it’s Primary or our adult groups or our teenage groups, at home or in the Church. I am reminded of a powerful thing said in Alma 31—a favorite verse that I think says this about as well as any verse that I know of in the scriptures.

Alma had taken on a very serious mission, a very difficult mission—the mission to the Zoramites—and he had just had his exchange with Korihor. He finds what works for him, and he finds what doesn’t work in this challenge to teach and to testify.

Brother Wada, would you read Alma 31:5?

Brother Takashi Wada: “And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought [p.95] it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.”

Elder Holland: Thank you very much. Somehow over the years, this has become a favorite scripture for me. We all have verses we return to time and again, and I have returned again and again to this one. “The preaching of the word”—the power of the word—”had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just,” it had a “more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword,” and they have had plenty of sword in this book and in life, “or anything else,” all the other battlegrounds, conflicts, and challenges. “Therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.”

Another word for virtue is power. When the woman came to touch the hem of Christ’s garment, in the scene in the New Testament, He said, “Virtue [has] gone out of me” (Luke 8:46). The original Greek New Testament language for that is power.

So Alma is saying we should try the power of the word of God, since it has such a powerful effect.

Brother Wada: I think that everybody comes to church to learn something and wants to be nurtured. One phrase from the book of Jacob, Jacob 2:8, says, “It supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word [of God] healeth the wounded soul.” It is satisfying when just after I teach a class somebody says to me, “This is exactly what I wanted to hear. I needed it.”

Elder Holland: A profound point—thank you, Brother Wada—because people come to church for a spiritual experience. That’s why they come. We come to church and gather in these settings to hear the word of God, to hear declaration, Spirit, testimony, and conviction. When tough times come, when we need to be healed, what the world offers is not going to be enough. We come to be healed by the word of God.

Sister Matsumori: For most Primary teachers, teaching from the word of God with children is a real challenge. They don’t read; they don’t have their own scriptures; they are not familiar with it if their family hasn’t taught them. It can be challenging.

Elder Holland: Good point. Here’s an experienced Primary teacher giving us just a little caution that we are going to get children at all stages of development and that we should bring them along gradually—as [p.96] children need to be brought along. Good reminder, Sister Matsumori.

Brother Dahlquist: It’s even the same with young men and young women. If they are going to understand it, they have to, as Nephi said, be able to apply it. They need to relate to it.

Elder Holland: They need to liken it unto themselves (see 1 Nephi 19:23).

Brother Dahlquist: They need to have the scriptures come alive.

Elder Holland: Yes, and we are talking about lots of experience here—some experiences in the home, some in seminary and institute. We are talking about something that has to grow over time in our young men and our young women. We won’t be impatient if it takes a while for this to develop.

Elder Jensen: So far our discussion has concentrated on the four standard works. We do have other scripture.

Elder Holland: Yes. Do you want to say a word about the living prophets?

Elder Jensen: We do have good manuals, and we do have magazines and stories. Aren’t they powerful?

Elder Holland: We do have great material, to say nothing of the whole world of the living prophets and semiannual general conference broad-casts and publications that go to the Church. We have a wealth of the word of God available to us, and we ought to use it.

Sister Kathleen H. Hughes: This raises in my mind a question. We frequently see, as Elder Oaks pointed out in another talk that he gave, that there is just cursory acknowledgement that the manual is even there, and then we go off on our own. Why do we do that? How can we help our brothers and sisters understand that the handbooks and the manuals are for our edification?

Elder Holland: Yes, that’s a good reminder. It fits with Elder Jensen’s comment. In the spirit of the wonderful comments you’ve made and the insights you’ve given me—new insights about the power of the word and the healing, the help, and the light that comes from it—I am reminded of a story President Packer told the Quorum of the Twelve some years ago. He talked about a severe winter in Utah when the snow was excessive and had driven the deer herds down very low into some of the valleys. Some of them were trapped by fences and circumstances as they were taken out of their natural habitat, and well-meaning, perfectly responsive, capable agencies tried to respond by feeding those deer to get them through the crisis of the winter. They brought in hay and dumped it everywhere; it was about as good as they could do under the circumstances. Later an immense number of those deer were found dead. The people who handled those animals afterward said that their stomachs were full of hay, but they had starved to death. They had been fed, but they had not been nourished.

Every teacher needs to remember [p.97] that we have to “nourish by the good word of God.” We can be fed too—that can be part of the fun of it—but the significance of teaching is nourishment anchored in the word of God.

Teach by the Spirit

Sister Hughes, would you write point number 3: “Teach by and with the Spirit.”

The Spirit of the Lord is the real teacher, and that’s why I said earlier, “Listen.” Listen with your heart. Listen with your soul, and you may have feelings or promptings that don’t have anything to do with what we are saying. It may be something very personal, it may be related to something at home, something in a marriage or with a child, but that’s the Spirit, and He’s the real teacher.

There’s a line from Doctrine and Covenants 43:16 that says you are to be taught from on high. We’re instruments, we’re tools, and it’s our tongues and our lips, but the teacher is on high.

Now, it’s a good teaching practice to have the class get to know each other and become a little better acquainted, so we’re going to do that for a minute with Orin Howell.

Orin, when did you join the Church?

Brother Howell: I joined the Church in June 1996.

Elder Holland: Where did you join the Church, Brother Howell?

Brother Howell: In Bosnia.

Elder Holland: What were you doing in Bosnia, Brother Howell?

Brother Howell: I was in the military at the time.

Elder Holland: Where and in what in Bosnia were you baptized?

Brother Howell: I was baptized in Tuzla, in a Russian bar that had been converted to a chapel. We got a used cover of a tank, turned it upside down, brought it into the chapel, and used that as a font.

Elder Holland: This is a wonderful young man in the military, who is touched by the lives of other Latter-day Saints in the military, and he receives a testimony of the gospel and wants to be baptized. So in the converted chapel in wartime conditions, the engine cover of a tank was tipped [p.98] upside down to form a basin-like structure and filled with water, and Orin filled the basin. He was baptized. Orin, who confirmed you a member of the Church in that setting?

Brother Howell: You did, Elder Holland.

Elder Holland: I had the wonderful privilege in the summer of 1996 to confirm Orin Howell a member of the Church in Tuzla, Bosnia, under wartime conditions, where we were scrambling for our lives. This wonderful young man is now a high priest serving the Church faithfully here in the Salt Lake Valley. He’s a very distinguished member of our class today. Thank you, Orin, for that little bio. It lets the class get to know each other a little better.

I am going to have Brother Howell develop the theme “Teaching by the Spirit” with us. Turn to section 50, part of a series of verses that we regularly and urgently use with the missionaries. But we should use it equally with everyone. Brother Howell, would you read Doctrine and Covenants 50:13?

Brother Howell: “Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question—unto what were ye ordained?”

Elder Holland: To shift the emphasis a little for broader purposes here, let’s substitute the word called for ordained. Ordained would be priesthood language, and we are going to talk about the general call to teach. So, “Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question—unto what were ye [called]?”

Now, Brother Howell, read the Lord’s answer in verse 14.

Brother Howell: “To preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the [p.99] Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth.”

Elder Holland: That is a scriptural assertion to underscore what we are trying to develop and have already said—that the real teacher is the Spirit. I am not the teacher, and you are not the teachers. We all need to be receptive to the Holy Spirit, to the guidance of heaven, which is the teacher. We are “to preach [the] gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth.”

Now, a caution: What if we try to do it in some other way? What if we try to teach without the Spirit or are unmindful of or unreceptive to the Spirit? What is the Lord’s verdict on that kind of teaching?

Sister McKee, do you want to read verse 18?

Sister Maritza McKee: “And if it be by some other way it is not of God.”

Elder Holland: Say it one more time. That is so powerful.

Sister McKee: “And if it be by some other way it is not of God.”

Sister Beck: So does this mean that if I sit down and study my books and manuals and I write up an outline and have my plan, I can’t teach that? I prepare, but do I have to be ready to set it aside and be directed by the Spirit with the preparation I have?

Elder Holland: Are there any comments on that question before I offer my own response? It’s a legitimate question.

Brother Dahlquist: It’s not that the Spirit whispers just when you are standing up not using your notes. I think the Spirit can whisper beginning with the preparation and when you are putting together the lesson. It’s much like general conference. General conference has a marvelous way of touching our lives, but there’s a lot of preparation.

Elder Holland: OK, let’s have some more comments about this. What is the role of the teacher, and what is the role of the Spirit?

Sister Beck: I prepared; I worked on it. But then, if someone in my class has had a challenge that week, that changes the dynamic of the lesson. Help me understand how I know where the blend comes of being prepared and being guided and directed to say what comes into my heart at that time or to use a different scripture.

Elder Holland: That’s a terrific question, and every teacher will face it.

Elder Kerr: I think the key—beyond the preparation and treasuring up—is to not be bound by the lesson plan, but let that be just the background and then be open to the prompting.

Elder Holland: It wouldn’t be fair to just walk into a class and say, “I haven’t prepared, but the Spirit is going to guide us.” On the other hand, to be so locked in to preparation that we are not going to entertain any prompting we get along the way would be the other extreme.

I think Sister Beck is steering us toward some combination of these. We have prepared, but we are open to the Spirit, and we have that freedom to move where we should go at that given hour, in the moment of our delivery.

Elder Snow: We have to understand that every member of that class may go home with a slightly different prompting from the Spirit, and it’s just so important that the Spirit be present. But how many of us have been in a class when there has been a wonderful discussion going on, and the teacher has said, “This is a very good discussion, but I must complete the lesson.”

Elder Holland: Yes, we have all heard that.

Elder Snow: And we miss opportunities sometimes by doing that.

[p.100] Elder Holland: Yes, we do. And those are realities we will have to learn to accommodate, and we will have to be sensitive to those impressions so that we do right by the moment and seize that opportunity.

Sister Hughes: You know, this has always been a really interesting and somewhat perplexing issue for me. How do we know, and how can teachers know that they are teaching with the Spirit? I don’t know. I’m not sure, when I go to teach, that I’m always confident of that.

Elder Holland: Does anyone have a response to that? What is the teacher’s reassurance that she or he is teaching by the Spirit? What would you look to for an indication of that, or do you just do it in faith and hope that it’s happening even though you won’t always know?

Elder Jensen: I have the same question. And I’m wondering if the answer isn’t, at least for me, back in Doctrine and Covenants 50:21–22:

“Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth?

“Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.”

Elder Holland: Maybe a little rejoicing, Kathy—maybe if your heart rejoices, that is at least one indication.

Elder Jensen: Is the teacher up there, the talking head, delivering and not inviting participation? I have a little quote I carry in my scriptures related to that verse, and I think I have a new appreciation for it today as we’ve been talking about it. Elder Scott taught this in a CES training meeting: “Ensure that there is abundant participation because that use of agency by a student authorizes the Holy Ghost to instruct. It helps the student to retain your message. As students verbalize truths, they are confirmed in their souls and strengthen their personal testimonies” (Richard G. Scott, To Understand and Live Truth [address to CES religious educators, Feb. 4, 2005], 3).

Elder Holland: That’s wonderful. That triggers a thought that I remember from President Marion G. Romney, who said once, “I always know when I’ve spoken under the influence of the Spirit because I learned something I didn’t know.” He’s the teacher, and suddenly he’s either saying things or thinking things that he had not thought before—or if he thought them before, they have come with new delight, new power. Those might be some of the ways to get an indication you are teaching by the Spirit.

In many cases, we won’t know. We will do all we can do, and we hope that hundreds of things are happening in people’s hearts or will happen because of this experience or other Church experiences, but we may never know.

Maybe part of the teacher’s divine calling is to be an instrument and move on, to trust that we have been as spiritual and as devoted as we can, and then let the miracle of personal revelation go on and on and on. I think that is a very gratifying idea about teaching and being a teacher.
[p.101]
The Responsibility for Learning

Item 4: “Help the learner assume responsibility for learning.”

What do you do when you come to a class cold, and there isn’t much going on—where somebody says by body language, “I defy you to teach me. I am going to slump in this chair, and I am going to sit with my head down, and I’m going to look at my shoes. And when I look at you, I’m going to scowl.” It may not always be that bad, but I have had some of those classes. We’ve probably all been in situations where it seemed like people had not come prepared to learn. How do we help people do that?

Sister Beck: Sometimes I work on crafting my questions. But I think this seems to be what we are saying: the more questions we can get from the learners about something, the more they are engaged in the learning.

And the thought that came to mind was that when Joseph Smith read a verse of scripture in James, it created questions in his mind, and he said, “How am I going to know? And will I ever know? And if I don’t figure this out, I’ll never know.” And he was in a learner mode when he asked God. But that to me is a challenge as a teacher—not so much the questions I am asking but what is happening that is helping other people to ask questions so the Holy Ghost can teach them.

Elder Holland: One of my favorite books in the Church, written by a professorial, longtime friend of mine at BYU, Dennis Rasmussen, is called The Lord’s Question. It’s a sample of how the Lord always teaches with a question. As early as Adam, the Lord said, “Where art thou?” (Genesis 3:9). He knows exactly where Adam is. He needs to know whether Adam knows where Adam is. That is why He asks the question: “Adam, where art thou?” And so on—”Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49). The Savior’s life was built around teaching by asking questions. Many of the revelations—I don’t know how many; I haven’t counted—but many, many of the revelations of the Doctrine and Covenants came in response to a question that the Prophet or the brethren took to the Lord.

Sister Matsumori: I have been struggling just a little bit with this topic in relation to children, even back when President Packer said he wanted to learn. But to be honest with you, I think it’s an advanced concept to think that the learner is going to assume responsibility for learning, especially little children. And so how does a Primary teacher do that?

Elder Holland: That’s a great point. What do you do if that is what you face and you are still the teacher? You still have to perform. By the way, it’s number 4 because we do realize it is a little more mature and a more advanced concept. But it is one we probably don’t talk about enough, so let’s talk about Sister Matsumori’s question. A child, a seminary student, a 14-year-old teacher or Mia Maid—sometimes they are not very [p.102] interested or at least don’t act like they are. They are probably more interested than they want you to know, but they don’t act like they’re interested. How do we deal with that? How do you help them?

Brother Wada: Learning does not happen right in the classroom sometimes. Sometimes it happens outside. When I was learning about the Church, the missionaries would teach me, and a week later I thought about it and said, “This is what it is.” So we do not need to assume that the exact learning needs to happen at that moment.

Elder Holland: Great point. I am confident that was the Spirit of the Lord working on you for a week or as long as required.

That’s the classic case of investigators in the Church. We want that Spirit working on them for hours and days after the missionaries have gone and before they come back for their next lesson.

Sister Naomi Wada: Sometimes children have so many, many questions, and I have prepared so many examples or experiences or visual aids, and I can’t utilize all of them. I’m sometimes busy answering questions. Is it all right? I have tried to simplify the lesson, and if there is just at least one topic I can focus on and just be able to teach them, at least they feel comfortable.

Elder Holland: Good. You said that better than I said it at the start. Don’t try to do too much. With a Primary child—well, maybe with any child, maybe with any of us—if we can get one thing across, one idea, one principle, something sterling and significant that Brother Wada still feels a week later, that is probably worth any good classroom experience. So be reassured. Don’t be reluctant about that.

Elder Kerr: What she just said has opened my eyes. What more exciting environment in the classroom is there than the fact that the children or the adults in the class are asking questions?

Elder Holland: Somebody is responding.

Elder Kerr: They’re thinking.

Elder Holland: What if you meet a situation where the student is not yet participating, and the burden for a while is on you?

Brother Bruce Miller: Should we forge ahead with the lesson then, or should we stop and do some of the things that invite the Spirit, even though we have had an opening song, a prayer, a scriptural thought? If it’s still not there, instead of moving ahead with the lesson, do we stop and say, “OK, how can we get the Spirit here?”

Elder Holland: Does anyone want to respond to that?

Elder Snow: I think it’s a long-term process. It doesn’t happen the first class. I think sometimes you have to do your best, and then there’s going to be a moment when it really works, when the Spirit’s there and everyone’s contributed to the class. And then you stop and say, “Do you see what’s happening right now? Do you see the difference?”

Elder Holland: Earlier Sister Hughes said, “How do we know if we have had the Spirit?” That may be in its own way the question that Brother Miller wants to know—with this unresponsive class in front of me, how do I know how I’m doing? Somehow at the heart of that for them and for you is how do you feel? Can you feel that the Lord is with you, that the Lord loves you, that you have done the best you can do, that He loves them? If we can just have some feelings for the gospel, if we just love each other, I suppose that’s a place to begin. And if those children are unresponsive, maybe you can’t teach them yet, but you can love them. And if you love them today, maybe you can teach them tomorrow.

But I think that is totally within our power. None of that is dependent upon them. We can love them from start to finish, and miracles will happen, the kind of miracles that you’re talking about.

[p.103] If I, the teacher, want questions from you, the student, I may have to prime the pump a little, as we have tried to do here today. I may try to pose a question that will then take on a life of its own, and all I have to do is direct traffic in order to get the students to participate.

Now, may I pause and make an editorial comment? A teacher could know that Brother Merrill talked on a subject in conference and say, “Good. I’ll go to the materials center, and I’ll get that video clip. I can play it, and I can show the class Brother Merrill.”

If you do that, great. We ought to do it from time to time. But audio-visual aids are just that—they are aids. They are not a substitute for a lesson. Use them in the way that you would use spice in cooking—to flavor, to heighten, to accentuate, to enrich. A map or a painting or a video clip or a key point written on the board—these can often make the difference between a good lesson and a great lesson. But no one wants a meal of spices only. So my plea to one and all is please do not overdo visual aids. They are not a substitute for the teacher, they are not a substitute for the course material, and they are not a substitute for the Spirit of the Lord. Use them when you need them.

Sister Wada: There is a child who is really, really disruptive sometimes in the Primary class, and I try to imagine that child wearing white and being a spirit of the Lord. The bottom line is we are all children of God, and that intelligence, even though the shape is small, came here to this earth to learn something, and there is a reason for him to be there. It really helps to think that.

Elder Holland: Thank you very much. That’s a sweet comment.

[p.104] Brother Howell: What I’m hearing is that sometimes the teacher is the learner and the learner is the teacher.

Elder Holland: Almost always the teacher will be getting more than the class. That is one of the joys of teaching.

Testify

Let’s conclude. Number 5, one word: “Testify.”

May we conclude here the way that every teacher must conclude his or her class, in the Church and at home—in the spirit of testimony.

For many years, I have loved the story that President Packer has told about William E. Berrett’s boyhood Sunday School teacher. An elderly Danish brother was called to teach a class of rowdy boys. It didn’t seem like much of a fit. He didn’t speak the language very well; he still had a heavy Danish brogue; he was much older, with big farm hands. Yet he was to teach these young, rambunctious 15-year-olds. For all intents and purposes, it would not have seemed like a very good match. But Brother William E. Berrett used to say—and this is the part President Packer quotes—that this man taught them somehow; that across all those barriers, across all those limitations, this man reached into the hearts of those rowdy 15-year-old kids and changed their lives. And Brother Berrett’s testimony was “We could have warmed our hands by the fire of his faith.”

Every student deserves at least that. We may not give the fanciest lesson. We may not be skillful with audiovisual aids (though we can use any we know how to use). But we can share with all students the fire of our faith, and they can warm their hands by it.

I have been painfully disappointed over the years at wonderful lessons, given by loyal, gifted teachers who, somehow, at the end of a class, say, “Well, there is the bell. Brother Jones, would you give the prayer?” And it’s over. There’s no closing of the books, no looking in the eye for just a minute, no settling down to say, in effect, where have we been and where are we going and what does the Lord want us to do? In some cases—I’m being a little unfair and a little extravagant, but to make a point—not a single reference is made to what this lesson was supposed to mean to the student or to the teacher. I’m left to walk away saying, “I wonder how he felt about that. I wonder what she thought about it or what it was supposed to mean to me.” There is so much effort to get some doctrine, some principle, some map, some video clip across to the students, but not a hint of personal testimony about what that doctrine or that principle meant to the teacher, the one who was supposed to lead us and guide us and walk beside us.

As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. once said, “Never let your faith be difficult to detect.” May I repeat that? “Never let your faith be difficult to detect.” Never sow seeds of doubt. Avoid self-serving performance and vanity. Don’t try to dazzle everyone with how brilliant you are. Dazzle them with how brilliant the gospel is. Don’t worry about the location of the lost tribes or the Three Nephites. Worry a little more about the location of your student, what’s going on in his heart, what’s going on in her soul, the hunger, sometimes the near-desperate spiritual needs of our people. Teach them. And, above all, testify to them. Love them. Bear your witness from the depths of your soul. It will be the most important thing you say to them in the entire hour, and it may save someone’s spiritual life.

Say that you “speak [out] in the energy of [your] soul” (Alma 5:43). I love that phrase. I want to testify out of the energy of my soul. If we feel inclined, we could ask the congregation what Alma asked his, namely, “Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself?” He continues, “I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. . . . I say unto you, that I know of myself that [they are] true” (Alma 5:45, 48).

I know that God lives and loves us. I know that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I know that this is His Church, and I know that teaching matters.

To that end I know that heaven will help us if we will teach as we have here described. And this won’t be all; this will be only a beginning. Welcome to the quest for the gift of teaching. [p.105] But as we search for that gift and pray for it, if we will ask and seek and knock spiritually, if we will teach from the scriptures, if we will teach by and with the Holy Spirit, if we will help the learner assume responsibility for learning, and if we will testify of the truths that we have taught, God will confirm to our hearts and to the hearts of our students the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Brothers and sisters, near and far, close at hand and around the world, the gospel of Jesus Christ means everything to me. It means everything to me. It is my whole life. It is my hope and my safety and my quest for salvation. It is everything that I want for my children and my children’s children.

And I feel what I feel about the gospel because of you, because people like you taught people like me. Some-where in those little Primary classes and in those first family home evenings and in the deacons quorum and on a mission and everywhere else, somebody like you taught somebody like me. And I am not all that I want to be yet. I’m not all that I should be, but whatever I’m going to be, I owe to great teachers, starting with my own beloved parents and every other good person who has touched my life along the way, up to and including the magnificent councils and quorums in which I now sit, where I am able to be taught by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve, other General Authorities, and wonderful auxiliary leaders like all of you.

I testify and I bear witness of love. I know God loves us. And I know that in part because I love you, and I love the experience of teaching. I pray that we will be better at it, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

(Included as insets in Ensign throughout previous article)

[Additional Comments]

Some members of the Church in the Salt Lake City area were invited to form a class for this teaching demonstration. Some of their additional comments are included.

“When I was a member of the branch in Colonia Suiza, Uruguay, my first calling was as a Primary president when I was 13 years old. I was the president, and I was the teacher also. I remember being set apart and given a manual, and the assignment was to teach to the children the lessons and the gospel. I opened the manual, and I didn’t know what to do, how to teach a lesson. So I prayed. I said, ‘Heavenly Father, I need to teach the lesson to the children next Saturday. Wilt Thou help me?’ And I received the influence of the Spirit, and I learned to teach because the Spirit taught me.” —Sister Delia Rochon

“I will never forget one Sunday morning. We were in Athi River, Kenya, and there was a young man who stood and gave a sacrament meeting talk using only the scriptures. It was so powerful. He must have been only about 15—he couldn’t have been more than that. I just kept smiling, and I thought, ‘Oh, my goodness, I wish we could all hear this young man bear testimony and talk of Christ and preach of Christ.’” —Sister Kathleen H. Hughes

“Once I was sitting with a six-year-old granddaughter, and she said, ‘I want to learn how to study in my scriptures.’ And I thought, ‘Well, she’s only six. Can she really get anything powerful out of the scriptures?’ So I said, ‘Let’s turn to 1 Nephi, chapter 1, and if you read anything you understand or if it means anything to you, you can underline it. And if you want to say something about it, you can write about it.’ So we started with that verse: ‘I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents’ (1 Nephi 1:1), and she stopped and said, ‘I have goodly parents.’ She was getting it from the first line. She marked her scriptures, and she said, ‘I’m going to finish the Book of Mormon before I’m baptized.’ ‘Some days,’ she said, ‘I don’t understand anything.’ But it was powerful for her to read the first verse of the Book of Mormon, the first time she tried it.” —Sister Julie B. Beck

“Sometimes when you’re teaching, you try to work with the Spirit, teach with the Spirit, use the scriptures. But it seems to me, in my experience, that the one who makes the connection in what we are teaching with the need of the student is the Spirit. And for that reason, sometimes I have had a student come and tell me, ‘Oh, thank you, when you said so and so,’ and I was thinking, ‘Did I say that? When?’ I wonder if that person really heard the voice of the Lord, and all that I did was create through the scriptures, through the Spirit, the environment that the learner got the message that was needed.” —Sister Delia Rochon

“Our ultimate reassurance is in the honest prompting of the Lord—the prompting that you are the Lord’s instrument, this is His class, this is His Church, these are His people. Then honestly respond to that Spirit. Generally speaking, the curriculum is going to give us our framework, our course and direction during the months of the year. But at any given moment, we are less than we are supposed to be as a teacher in the Lord’s hands if we aren’t willing to set aside some special thing we had prepared and respond to something the Lord prompts us to do. We have to say, ‘Right now is the moment. This is the teaching moment.’
“Parents face this situation all the time. Parents have to seize the teaching moment because it may not come again. We must prepare the best we can, then trust that the Lord will take us into some unexpected opportunities in a given class. We need to be prepared to go where He leads us.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“I saw a wonderful example when I went teaching with two missionaries. They were teaching a fifth discussion. The one missionary was German, had the language; he had been on his mission for a number of months. The other one was really fairly new, first fifth discussion he had ever taught.

“And I watched. The one was confident; he was a good missionary. He taught with confidence. The other had to rely a little bit on his lesson plan—but, you know, as I sat and watched those two, the Spirit came through on both of them. And so with teachers at different teaching levels, the Spirit can whisper wherever we are if we have done our part. It was wonderful.” —Brother Charles W. Dahlquist II

“I think it could be boldly said that we are not successful if at the end of 40 minutes, a student walks out the door and says, ‘My, wasn’t that nice?’ If it ends when the student walks out the door, I think we have failed in the ultimate sense of teaching, the ongoing sense of teaching. Our instruction ought to be so provocative, so spiritually sweet, so new and interesting that the students say to themselves, ‘I felt so much that I will think about it this afternoon and tomorrow and next week and next month.’ In that way, our lesson will take on a life of its own and bring new thoughts.
“There is a real danger of classroom performances that seem to be so self-contained or dazzling that people are entertained for 45 minutes and say, ‘Boy, I can’t wait to get here to be entertained next week’—and never have another thought through the week or through the month about the substance of the doctrine they have been taught.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“Be patient, and above all do not lose the Spirit. We can’t in any way be offended or get angry or disappointed that we’ve worked so hard on our lesson, and it doesn’t seem the students are with us. We just have to be patient and loving. More is happening in their hearts than we think.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“I went to early-morning seminary, and I feel that my seminary teacher assumed responsibility for teaching us. He assumed that we were receiving the message that he was giving us. There were times that we arrived in seminary in pajamas; there were times where some of us brought pillows and blankets; there were times where girls would be painting their nails while they were listening to him teach, but we were blessed with a seminary teacher who assumed that we were listening to him. We were not engaging him in conversation, but there was never a day in seminary that I was not paying attention and listening with my ears and with my heart to what he said.
“I think that as teachers, if we’ve done everything that we need to do, we’ve done our part, and we have the Spirit there, then we can assume that the students are taking the responsibility to listen.” —Sister Tamu Smith

[Notes Written on the Board]

The Gift of Teaching

1. Ask, seek, and knock spiritually.

2. Teach from the scriptures.

3. Teach by and with the Spirit.

4. Help the learner assume responsibility for learning.

5. Testify.

[p.106]
President Thomas S. Monson
First Counselor in the First Presidency

Examples of Great Teachers

We have heard from some of the greatest teachers in the Church, who have given us wonderful insights into many of the elements and principles of good teaching.
As has been mentioned, we are all teachers in some respect, and we have a duty to teach to the best of our ability.

I should like to share with you some examples of individuals I have known who have touched my life and have taught me important and never-to-be-forgotten lessons.

Everyone Has a Story

I have been thinking of one of our emeritus General Authorities, even Elder Marion D. Hanks, who has excelled in teaching seminary, institute, and the Church generally. He has utilized many different teaching methods.

On one occasion, Elder Hanks toured a mission, interviewing each of the missionaries laboring in that particular area. I had been on an assignment in an adjoining area and was given a ride to the airport with Elder Hanks and the mission president.

Elder Hanks told the mission president what a privilege it had been to visit with and interview each of the missionaries. He said he had felt prompted to ask one sister missionary, “Please tell me about your mission and how you felt about being called as a sister missionary.”

She told him that her humble father, a farmer, had willingly sacrificed much for the Lord and His kingdom. He was already sustaining two sons on missions when he talked with her one day about her unexpressed desires to be a missionary and explained to her how the Lord had helped him to prepare to help her.

He had gone to the fields to talk with the Lord, to tell Him that he had no more material possessions to sell or sacrifice or to use as collateral for borrowing. He needed to know how he could help his daughter go on a mission. He felt the inspiration to plant onions. He thought he had misunderstood. Onions would not likely grow well in this climate; others were not growing onions; he had no experience growing onions.

After wrestling with the Lord for a time, he was again impressed to plant onions. So he borrowed money from the bank, purchased seeds, planted and nurtured, and prayed.

The elements were tempered; the onion crop prospered. He sold the crop; paid his debts to the bank, the government, and the Lord; and put the remainder in an account under his daughter’s name—enough to support her during her mission.

[p.108] Elder Hanks then told the mission president, “I will not forget the story or the moment or the tears in her eyes or the sound of her voice or the feeling I had as she said, ‘Brother Hanks, I don’t have any trouble believing in a loving Heavenly Father who knows my needs and will help me according to His wisdom if I am humble enough.’”

Elder Hanks was teaching a most important lesson: each child in each classroom, each young man or young woman, each student in seminary or institute, each adult in Gospel Doctrine classes, each missionary—yes, every one of us—has a story waiting to be told. Listening is an essential element as we teach and as we learn.

“It Is More Blessed to Give Than to Receive”

It was my experience as a small boy to come under the influence of a most effective and inspired teacher who listened to us and who loved us. Her name was Lucy Gertsch. In our Sunday School class, she taught us concerning the Creation of the world, the Fall of Adam, the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. She brought to her classroom as honored guests Moses, Joshua, Peter, Thomas, Paul, and, of course, Christ. Though we did not see them, we learned to love, honor, and emulate them.

Never was her teaching so dynamic nor its impact more everlasting as one Sunday morning when she sadly announced to us the passing of a classmate’s mother. We had missed Billy that morning but did not know the reason for his absence.

The lesson featured the theme “It is more [p.109] blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Midway through the lesson, our teacher closed the manual and opened our eyes and our ears and our hearts to the glory of God. She asked, “How much money do we have in our class party fund?”

Depression days prompted a proud answer: “Four dollars and seventy-five cents.”

Then ever so gently she suggested, “Billy’s family is hard pressed and grief stricken. What would you think of the possibility of visiting the family members this morning and giving to them your fund?”

Ever shall I remember the tiny band walking those three city blocks, entering Billy’s home, greeting him, his brother, sisters, and father. Noticeably absent was his mother. Always I shall treasure the tears which glistened in the eyes of all as the white envelope containing our precious party fund passed from the delicate hand of our teacher to the needy hand of a grief-stricken father.

We fairly skipped our way back to the chapel. Our hearts were lighter than they had ever been, our joy more full, our understanding more profound. A God-inspired teacher had taught her boys and girls an eternal lesson of divine truth: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Well could we have paraphrased the words of the disciples on the way to Emmaus: “Did not our heart burn within us . . . while [she] opened to us the scriptures?” (Luke 24:32).

Lucy Gertsch knew each of her students. She unfailingly called on those who missed a Sunday or who just didn’t come. We knew she cared about us. None of us has ever forgotten her or the lessons she taught.

Many, many years later, when Lucy was nearing the end of her life, I visited with her. We reminisced concerning those days so long before when she had been our teacher. We spoke of each member of our class and discussed what each one was now doing. Her love and caring spanned a lifetime.

The Articles of Faith

Another inspired teacher in my life was Erma Bollwinkel, a member of our stake Primary board. She constantly stressed the importance of learning the Articles of Faith. In fact, we could not graduate from Primary until we successfully recited each article of faith to her—something of a challenge for rambunctious young boys, but we persevered and succeeded. I have, throughout my life, as a result, been able to recite the Articles of Faith.

For many years as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, I had responsibility for East Germany, also known as the German Democratic Republic. In this assignment, my knowledge of the Articles of Faith was most helpful. On each of my visits throughout the 20 years I supervised this area, I always reminded our members in that area of the twelfth article of faith: “We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.”

Our meetings behind what was known as the Iron Curtain were always monitored by the communist government there. In the early 1980s, when we sought approval from the government officials to build a temple there, and later when we asked permission for young men and women from that area to serve missions throughout the world and for others to come into their country to serve missions, they listened and then said, “Elder Monson, we’ve watched you for 20 years, and we’ve learned we can trust you and your Church because you and your Church teach your members to obey the laws of the land.”

I share another example of the value of learning the Articles of Faith. Forty-five years ago I worked with a man named Sharman Hummel in the printing business in Salt Lake City. I once gave him a ride home from work and asked him how he came to receive his testimony of the gospel.

He responded, “It’s interesting, Tom, that you asked me that question, for this very week my wife, my children, and I are going to the Manti Temple, there to be sealed for all eternity.”

He continued his account: “We lived in the East. I was journeying by bus to San Francisco to establish myself in a new printing company, and then I was going to send for my wife and children. All the way from New York City to Salt Lake City the bus trip was uneventful. But in Salt Lake City a young girl entered the bus—a Primary girl—who sat next to me. She was going to Reno, Nevada, there to have a visit with her aunt. As we journeyed westward, I noticed a billboard: ‘Visit the Mormon Sunday School this week.’

“I said to the little girl, ‘I guess there are a lot of Mormons in Utah, aren’t there?’

“She replied, ‘Yes, sir.’

“Then I said to her, ‘Are you a Mormon?’

“Again her reply: ‘Yes, sir.’”

Sharman Hummell then asked, “What do Mormons believe?” And that little girl recited the first article of faith; then she talked about it. Continuing, she gave him the second article of faith and talked about it. Then she gave him the third and the fourth and the fifth and the sixth and all of the Articles of Faith and talked about all of them. She knew them consecutively.

Sharman Hummel said, “When we got to Reno, and we let that little girl off into the arms of her aunt, I was profoundly impressed.”

He said, “All the way to San Francisco I thought, ‘What is it that prompts that little girl to know her doctrine so well?’ When I arrived in San Francisco, the very first thing I [p.110] did,” said Sharman, “was to look through the yellow pages for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I called the mission president, and he sent two missionaries to where I was staying. I became a member of the Church, my wife became a member, all of our children became members, in part because a Primary girl knew her Articles of Faith.”

I think of the words of the Apostle Paul: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation” (Romans 1:16).

Just three months ago, the Hummel family came to Salt Lake City for the wedding of their daughter Marianne. They stopped by the office; we had a wonderful visit. All 6 daughters came, along with 4 sons-in-law and 12 grandchildren. The entire family had remained active in the Church. Each of the daughters has been to the temple. Countless are those who have been brought to a knowledge of the gospel by the members of this family—all because a young child had been taught the Articles of Faith and had the ability and the courage to proclaim the truth to one who was seeking the light of the gospel.

“Be Ready Always”

I love the Lord’s injunction found in the 88th section of the Doctrine and Covenants: “I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom. Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you” (D&C 88:77–78).

Many years ago, as I was traveling by air to an assignment in southern California, a lovely young lady sat down in the empty seat next to me. She began reading a book. As one is inclined to do, I glanced at the title: A Marvelous Work and a Wonder.

I said to her, “Oh, you must be a Mormon.”

She responded, “Oh, no. Why would you ask?”

I replied, “Well, you’re reading a book written by a very prominent member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

She said, “Is that right? A friend gave this to me, but I don’t know much about it. However, it has aroused my curiosity.”

Then I wondered, “Should I be forward and say more about the Church?” And the words of the Apostle Peter came to mind: “Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15). I decided that this was the time when I should bear my testimony.

I told her that it was my privilege years before to have assisted Elder Richards in printing A Marvelous Work and a Wonder. I told her something about that great man. I told her of the many thousands of people who had embraced the truth after reading that which he had prepared.

Then it was my privilege, all the way to Los Angeles, to answer her questions relative to the Church—intelligent questions that came from a heart which was seeking the truth. I asked if I might make arrangements for two sister missionaries to call upon her. I asked if she would like to attend our branch in San Francisco, where she lived. Her answers were affirmative.

Upon returning home, I wrote to President Irven G. Derrick of the San Francisco stake and passed along to him this information. Can you imagine my delight when, a few months later, I received a call from President Derrick in which he said, “Elder Monson, I’m calling about Yvonne Ramirez, an off-duty flight attendant, a young lady who sat next to you on a flight to Los Angeles, a young lady to whom you said that it was not coincidence that you sat next to her and that she was reading A Marvelous Work and a Wonder on that trip. Brother Monson, she has just become the newest member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She’d like to speak to you and express her gratitude.” Of course I was overjoyed. It was a wonderful call.

President McKay’s Example

An example of a master teacher was President David O. McKay, who called me to be a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He taught with love and with sensitivity. He was the epitome of what he taught. His heart was kind, and his manner was gracious. He was a teacher of truth after the pattern of the Savior.

[p.111] I observed this trait when, long before I was a General Authority, I entered his office to review some printing proofs of a book that we were printing. On that particular occasion, I noticed a picture on the wall, and I said to him, “President McKay, that’s a lovely painting. Is it a rendition of your childhood home in Huntsville, Utah?”

He sat back in his chair and gave a familiar David O. McKay chuckle and said, “Let me tell you about that picture. A sweet woman came in to see me one autumn day and presented to me that beautiful painting, framed and ready to be placed on the wall. She said, ‘President McKay, I spent much of the summer painting this picture of your ancestral home.’” He said he accepted the gift and thanked her profusely.

And then he said to me, “Do you know, Brother Monson, that dear woman painted the wrong house. She painted the house next door! I didn’t have the heart to tell her she painted the wrong house.”

But then he made this comment—and here is a vital lesson for all of us. He said, “In reality, Brother Monson, she painted the right house for me, because when, as a young boy, I would lie on the bed which was on the front porch of my ancestral home, the view I had through that screened porch was of the very house she painted. She did paint the right house for me!”

Lessons about Serving Others

Some of the best lessons learned in life come from our parents. Mine taught me valuable lessons as I was growing up. Frequently those lessons had to do with serving others. I have many memories of my boyhood days. Anticipating Sunday dinner was one of them. Just as we children hovered at our so-called starvation level and sat anxiously at the table with the aroma of roast beef filling the room, Mother would say to me, “Tommy, before we eat, take this plate I’ve prepared down the street to Old Bob, and hurry back.”

I could never understand why we couldn’t first eat and later deliver his plate of food. I never questioned but would run down to his house and then wait anxiously as Bob’s aged feet brought him eventually to the door. Then I would hand him the plate of food. He would present to me the spotlessly clean plate from the previous Sunday and then offer me 10 cents as pay for my services.

My answer was always the same: “I can’t accept the money. My mother would tan my hide.”

He would then run his wrinkled hand through my blond hair and say, “My boy, you have a wonderful mother. Tell her thank you.”

I remember too that Sunday dinner always seemed to taste a bit better after I had returned from my errand.

My mother’s father, Grandfather Thomas Condie, also taught me a [p.112] powerful lesson which involved this same Old Bob, who came into our lives in an interesting way. He was a widower in his 80s when the house in which he rented a room was to be demolished. I heard him tell my grandfather his plight as the three of us sat on the old front-porch swing of my grandfather. With a plaintive voice, he said to Grandfather, “Mr. Condie, I don’t know what to do. I have no family. I have no place to go. I have little money.” I wondered how Grandfather would answer.

We just kept rocking the swing. Then Grandfather reached into his pocket and took from it an old leather purse from which, in response to my hounding, he had produced many a penny or nickel for a special treat. This time he removed a key and handed it to Old Bob.

Tenderly he said, “Bob, here is the key to that house I own next door. Take it. Move your things in. Stay as long as you like. There will be no rent to pay and nobody will ever put you out again.”

Tears welled up in the eyes of Old Bob, coursed down his cheeks, then disappeared in his long, white beard. Grandfather’s eyes were also moist. I spoke no word, but that day my grandfather stood 10 feet tall. I was proud to bear his given name. Though I was but a boy, that lesson has had a powerful influence on my life.

These are but a few of the lessons I have learned from those who have touched my life and have taught me.

Again, I reiterate that we are all teachers. We should ever remember that we not only teach with words; we teach also by who we are and how we live our lives.

The Perfect Example

As we teach others, may we follow the example of the perfect teacher, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He left His footprints in the sands of the seashore but left His teaching principles in the hearts and in the lives of all whom He taught. He instructed His disciples of that day—and to us He speaks the same words—”Follow thou me” (John 21:22).

May we go forward in the spirit of obedient response, that it may be said of each of us as it was spoken of the Redeemer, “Thou art a teacher come from God” (John 3:2). May this be so, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

February 9, 2008
Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: Building Up a Righteous Posterity

- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: General Patterns and Specific Lives

- Pres. Boyd K. Packer: The Proclamation on the Family

- Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Julie B. Beck, Susan W. Tanner, Cheryl C. Lant: Roundtable Discussion

- Pres. Thomas S. Monson: A Sanctuary from the World

[p.2]
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

General Patterns and Specific Lives

Ongoing Emphasis on the Family

Brothers and sisters, we welcome you to our 2008 worldwide leadership training broadcast. Our theme today, “Building Up a Righteous Posterity,” continues the Church’s ongoing emphasis on family matters. Two years ago, the broadcast focused on the topic “Supporting the Family,” containing counsel we will refer to today.

You’ve also heard other spoken and written messages, including carefully worded letters from the First Presidency regarding the need to strengthen and protect the family. One of those letters, to have been read in sacrament meetings and delivered to families by home teachers, contains this language: “We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. . . . However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”[1]

You realize we are addressing the entire adult population of the Church in this broadcast. It may seem unusual to have young single adults invited to a discussion primarily about building up a righteous posterity. But we have extended that invitation consciously. You single adults must and will be the parents of tomorrow. And while you’re planning and preparing for that opportunity, you are very much part of your own parents’ posterity now and in the future. We are praying for all such to be righteously devoted to the family principles the Church and your parents espouse.

Furthermore, we know that others in our audience and in the Church are not now married, nor do some have an intact family fitting the ideal we regularly refer to in the Church. Please be assured we are fully aware of the many different circumstances that exist among our members. We love every one of you. We also realize that as more and more families are in disarray and as many cultural forces devalue marriage, children, and traditional family life, the General Authorities and general officers of the Church feel increased urgency to speak of ideals and gospel-centered principles. Otherwise, the moral drift which the world inevitably experiences could take us to a point where earnest people in and out of the Church are truly at sea when it comes to divine expectations in marriage and eternal family standards.

Patterns and Replicas

Let me use a parable that I hope can make this point, whatever your marital or family circumstance. For lack of a better title, I call it “The Parable of the Homemade Shirt.” My mother, bless her, was a marvelous seamstress. In my childhood years, when money was short and new clothing hard to come by, she would sometimes make clothing for us to [p.3] wear to school. I would see a shirt in a store window or in a mail-order catalogue, and my mother would say, “I think I can make that.” By looking at the shirt as closely as she could, she would then cut cloth and put in seams to a degree that was close to the expensive original.

I pay her the tribute of being both willing and able to do that. But she didn’t like to do it that way. While she could study the commercial product and come close, what she really wanted was a pattern. A pattern helped her anticipate angles and corners and seams and stitches that were otherwise hard to recognize. Furthermore, if she went back for a second or a third shirt, she was always working from a perfect original pattern, not repeating or multiplying the imperfections of a replica.

I think you can see my point and hers. We are bound to be in trouble if a shirt is made from a shirt that was made from a shirt. A mistake or two in the first product—inevitable without a pattern—gets repeated and exaggerated, intensified, more awkward, the more repetitions we make, until finally this thing I’m to wear to school just doesn’t fit. One sleeve’s too long. The other’s too short. One shoulder seam runs down my chest. The other runs down my back. And the front collar button fastens behind my neck. I can tell you right now that such a look is not going to go over well in the seventh grade.

The Ideal Pattern from God

Now, I hope this helps you understand why we talk about the pattern, the ideal, of marriage and family when we know full well that not everyone now lives in that ideal circumstance. It is precisely because many don’t have, or perhaps have never even seen, that ideal and because some cultural forces steadily move us away from that ideal, that we speak about what our Father in Heaven wishes for us in His eternal plan for His children.

Individual adaptations have to be made as marital status and family circumstances differ. But all of us can agree on the pattern as it comes from God, and we can strive for its realization the best way we can.

We who are General Authorities and general officers are called to teach His general rules. You and we then lead specific lives and must seek the Lord’s guidance regarding specific circumstances. But there would be mass confusion and loss of gospel promises if no general ideal and no doctrinal standard were established and, in our case today, repeated. We take great strength in knowing the Lord has spoken on these matters, and we accept His counsel even when it might not be popular.

Thank you for understanding why we are concerned about protecting all members of families, whatever your age, and why we speak in opposition to trends or forces that would seek to destroy any aspect of God’s eternal plan of happiness. How grateful we are that the Lord has said, “I will give unto you a pattern in all things, that ye may not be deceived” (D&C 52:14)

Notes

1. First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999.

[p.4]
President Boyd K. Packer
President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The Proclamation on the Family

Transcendent Ideas

I’m grateful to participate in this meeting and greet all of you across the world on this very sacred and solemn occasion with perhaps the most important subject that we could bring to you from the leadership of the Church. We have watched, as you have watched, the patterns of the world and have become increasingly concerned about the matters of home and family.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the restored Church, and the initial introduction was the appearance of the Father and the Son to the Prophet Joseph Smith. In that great First Vision, as we refer to it now, two great transcendent ideas were revealed that have guided the Church ever since.

The first: He is the Father. Of all the titles that God might have given to Himself, He chose the one that’s closest to all of us. He is our Father. We accept that—that we are the children of God. And with the Son being there, it became a family introduction. And so the Father and the Son appeared.

In a revelation given shortly thereafter, the Lord said, “Wherefore, I the Lord, knowing the calamity which should come upon the inhabitants of the earth, called upon my servant Joseph Smith, Jun., and spake unto him from heaven, and gave him commandments” (D&C 1:17).

Living by Revelation

And that was a beginning. It was the pattern, that we are to act and organize and live according to the revelations that the Lord had given. These revelations, as you know, compiled in the book of the Doctrine and Covenants and the revelations in the Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price, form the scriptural foundation for the Church.

We found that the Lord did not organize the Church according to the patterns of the other churches of the world. That is, there is no professional clergy. We don’t have seminaries as such to prepare clergymen or clergywomen to guide the Church. It is summed up in another sentence that “every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, . . . the Savior of the world” (D&C 1:20).

We find in that an equality of the brethren who hold the priesthood and the women who stand at their side. We work together, and we’re organized first as families. We all have the right to inspiration and revelation, and oh, how we need it in this world, especially in the great challenge of raising a family.

Raising a Righteous Posterity

Now, the theme of this meeting is to raise up a righteous posterity; it is an obligation. The first commandment given to Adam and Eve was that they were to multiply and replenish the earth, and the processes of multiplying and replenishing the earth [p.5] were given to them in their bodies. And that pattern would continue through all of the annals of human history.

So we had the first family—Adam and his wife, Eve, and then their children. We know that there had been a war in heaven and that there had been a rebellion and that Satan had been cast out. He was determined to destroy the works of the Almighty  and was informed enough or wise enough or even inspired enough to know that the place where he should start his destruction was with the family. We see that in the account of Adam and Eve. Then as the history of the Church unfolded, the responsibility of parents and children emerged.

A Proclamation to the World

Not too many years ago there came a movement in the world having to do with the family. The United Nations called a council on the family in Beijing, China. We sent delegations to that council on the family and to other councils that were held. And then it was announced that one of them would be held near our headquarters, and we thought, “Well, if they are coming here, we had better proclaim ourselves.”

A proclamation in the Church is a significant, major announcement. Very few of them have been issued from the beginning of the Church. They are significant; they are revelatory. And at that time, this was a little more than 10 years ago, the Brethren issued “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It is scripturelike in its power.

Now, you will hear in the other presentations that are made many references to the proclamation on the family. I thought it would be of good purpose to read it to you. We know we’ve read it. But if we read it slowly and carefully and articulate it very well, it may have more revelation than you thought was there.

When you wonder why we are the way we are and why we do the things we do and why we will not do some of the things that we will not do, you can find the authority for that in this proclamation on the family. There are times when we are accused of being intolerant because we won’t accept and do the things that are supposed to be the norm in society. Well, the things we won’t do, we won’t do. And the things we won’t do, we can’t do, because the standard we follow is given of Him.

[p.6] Let me just read the proclamation to you, and you listen to it and see if you don’t see in it the things that are foremost in society, in politics, in government, in religion now that are causing the most concern and difficulty. And you’ll find answers there. And the answers that are there are the answers of the Church.

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”[1]

“The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”

“We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of [all] His children.”

Premortal Existence

We know in the Church from the doctrines that have been revealed to us that we had a premortal existence. It didn’t all begin with the population of the earth with humankind. And the doctrines of the gospel were not new when they were revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith. They were from all eternity and will be for all eternity. Now listen carefully:

“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.”

The Great Plan of Happiness

Note that it describes it as the plan of happiness. It is described elsewhere, in the Book of Mormon, as the “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8).

“The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

You’ll note as we go through this that declarations such as this are challenged. The world wants to change it. We will not. We cannot. When you wonder who we are and why we are, remember that we have this pattern and we will follow it.

“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.”

Our position on such things as divorce, abortion, and gender issues are stated and outlined in the revelations, and the proclamation on the family is the clearest statement that we find of those issues.

Parental Duties

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ [p.7] (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.”

And in the Church we recognize no other pattern for marriage—marriage is between man and woman.

“Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

I’ve always felt that the ultimate end of all of the activities and programs of the Church rests in a man and a woman and their family being happy at home.

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

A Warning

“We warn”—we don’t often use that word, but it’s appropriate here—“We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

“We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”1

Doctrines and Ordinances

Now, you will hear in the presentations made in this Churchwide meeting practical applications and instruction and counsel and guidance, but it’s all centered back on the revelations of the scriptures, on doctrine, and on the principles as proclaimed in this proclamation on the family.

When you young people who now look forward to marriage and a family life look around and see the dangers, there is only one place on this earth where the family can be fully [p.8] protected, and that’s within the ordinances and the doctrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Live the gospel, and you’re going to be all right.

The world isn’t a very pleasant place to live in, and there are challenges and disorders and patterns of life and death and all of the problems that come to us, and yet the answers are found in understanding that the family is the fundamental unit of the Church. All of the activities of the Church are calculated to strengthen the family.

Help for Families

Sometimes we may move a little away from our position of supporting families to having the families responsible to support the Church. Local leaders need to use care in organizing activities and programs of the Church to bring the young men and young women forward and prepare them for married life and then help them in their early marriage years and on to old age.

I’m finding that old age is an interesting experience. I have wondered about the patterns of love and family association, the romantic love of youth. Will that be preserved? Oh, yes. That will not only be preserved but glorified and augmented.

Now, it’s not easy to establish a family in this life and to raise children. But with the Church as it is, you find the help that you need.

We know how to pray, we know how to teach, but there are times when we need help. Always, everywhere, there’s a priesthood file leader. We’ve been taught the patterns of revelation and know that we have individual revelation. When we are unsure, we can turn to priesthood file leaders. And if we follow them, we’ll get safely through modern life with our children and our grandchildren.

Now in our family we have grandchildren and great-grandchildren and still have the need to turn to the priesthood file leaders, to do what we are ordinarily expected to do in the Church. There are times of challenge and difficulty and danger and disappointment, but protecting families is what the Church is about. We do everything we can in the Church to protect the families, and then there is the priesthood leadership, the power that’s present everywhere in the world, in every nation where the Church exists—men who are ordained to the priesthood and women who are wise and maternal, with motherly instincts.

When our children left home to go a great distance and settle their family in a distant city, we saw them leave and had the comfort of knowing that they would have a family there. And we told our children on more than one occasion, “You won’t be able to telephone us very often because of the expense. But you will have a grandma there. Where will you find your grandma? In Relief Society. And you’ll have wise counsel and be able to have the same strength that you’ve [p.9] had in our own family. And when you go, it just broadens the family circle.”

Now, if you’ll listen to the instruction that will be coming in this session, you’ll find that there is inspiration and direction. Know also that when we’re baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is another ordinance, separate from baptism, in which the gift of the Holy Ghost is conferred. Brethren holding the authority place their hands upon the head of each individual, each person who has been baptized, and confer upon him or her that gift, and it is to be a light and a teacher and a corrector and a guide as we move through life.

Guidance and Blessings

I don’t think it’s called for for members of the Church to live in fear, to see all that’s going on around us and say, “How can we ever raise a family when all of this temptation and difficulty is about us?”

Well, you can, because you can be guided and you can teach your children to be guided. In all of that you can live a happy life and find in the consummation of all of this, in the next existence, that the family can be together.

Now, sometimes there are those that are lost. We have the promise of the prophets that they are not lost permanently, that if they are sealed in the temple ordinances and if the covenants are kept, in due time, after all the correction that’s necessary to be given, that they will not be lost.

So I extend my blessings to all of you across the Church as you enjoy family life, either as parents or as children or in any pattern that is your pattern, that you’ll be blessed and watched over, that the power of the Holy Ghost will be present in your life and the guarding power of the priesthood ever present will be there to correct you, to bless you, to boost you, and to confirm in you a testimony.

God Is Our Father!

I know that God lives, that He is our Father, that He is our Father! I don’t quite know how to say that word. It’s a word we say almost glibly. But He’s our Father; He loves us. And in that same pattern, we who lead the Church have that same feeling to all who are members of the Church and all who might be. So I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon all of you and the blessings of the Father upon all you as members of the Church as we face the responsibility of raising up a righteous posterity, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

[p.10]
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Julie B. Beck
Relief Society General President

Susan W. Tanner
Young Women General President

Cheryl C. Lant
Primary General President

Roundtable Discussion
[p.11]
The Creator’s Plan

Elder Holland

We’re pleased to have with us Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles; Sister Julie Beck, general president of the Relief Society; Sister Susan Tanner, general president of the Young Women; and Sister Cheryl Lant, general president of the Primary. These leaders have been kind enough to invite me to join them at the table and have asked me to assume the role of moderating this discussion.

There is a statement in the worldwide proclamation on the family that says, “Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.”[1] When we talk about marriage and family in the Church, why do we want to put it in the context of God’s plan? That’s the language we use; it’s the language we’ll undoubtedly use here tonight. Why do we put it in the context of eternity and the overall plan of salvation?

Elder Oaks

Well, in the family proclamation we’re told that the “family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” That means that our individual decisions and desires on marriage and the bearing and rearing of children are immensely important in eternal terms. We need to be guided in this by the commandments of God and the teachings of His servants, not by the icons of popular culture or the conventions of political correctness. I think that’s a main message we need to keep in mind and a main purpose for our addressing all of the adults of the Church in this important broadcast.

Elder Holland

Good. Thank you. Sisters, any comments about the eternal scheme of all of this, why we’re not just another social organization, or why we’re not an agency just speaking out of community needs? Any comments?

A Three-Way Commitment

Sister Tanner

Well, I think that the marriage commitment—and it is a commitment; I’m not sure that the world looks at it as a commitment necessarily—is a three-way commitment. Husbands and wives are committed to each other, but we’re also definitely committed to our Father in Heaven. And I like to think of charity, the pure love of Christ, in this marriage relationship. As we have this charity for one another, it not only draws us to each other, but it draws us closer to our Father in Heaven and therefore closer to each other in the marriage relationship.

Elder Holland

In terms of that little triangle you just drew for us with your hands, we have our special emphasis on really trying to bring heaven into the home, trying to bring God into a marriage. Any counsel for brothers and sisters out there, younger or older, who are still trying to do that? Any feeling?

Sister Lant

What comes to my mind is that when we talk about this eternal family, we’re not talking about a perfect family; we’re talking about a family that’s trying to become perfect eventually and get back to our Father in Heaven. And so then when you bring into that context this idea of a triangle, with our Father in Heaven and the Spirit with us, helping us work through the challenges of life, to me that is what a perfect family in this life is. It’s not one without challenges, but one that has challenges and is working toward solving them with the help of our Father in Heaven.

Sister Beck

I’d like to say something about the women out there who’ve been abandoned for one reason or another—left alone by a husband—and about our widowed women. We have many women out there who in perfect faith and faithfulness signed up for the whole plan at the time they were sealed, and now they find themselves alone. I know of many of these faithful women who’ve said, “All right. I signed up for the plan, and I’m not going to let it go just because I’m alone now. I still will have family prayer. I still will have family scripture study.

Family home evening will happen. We will educate this family. We will take care of the needs of this family under the plan of the Lord.” I salute and honor those brave women who do that. They don’t abandon the plan because they are alone. It’s harder work if you’re alone, but you can still do it.

[p.12] Elder Oaks

The Lord didn’t tell us it would be easy, but He has assured us it would be possible.

The Centrality of the Family

Sister Beck

We asked why the family is central to the Creator’s plan. How do we know that? We know from revelations to the prophets that we lived in heaven before we were born, that we participated in a great conflict in the premortal world for the privilege of being part of an eternal family.

There is an eternal family unit, and this is the whole plan. And I find it very comforting that one of the first teachings that Joseph Smith received was about the whole plan and the family being central to that plan. Then everything else we have fits into that.

Elder Holland

There might be wards and stakes in heaven—I don’t know anything about them—and there may well be some other organization that we don’t know much about. What we do know will exist in heaven is families. And most of anything that has been revealed about afterlife and our eternal life, our celestial life, focuses on family organization, and thus the high principles of the temple, the covenants we make there.

We hope this helps the membership of the Church and those who are not members of the Church realize why we talk about this so much.

Elder Oaks

So much of what we concentrate on in mortality—power, prominence, property, prestige—are things that we don’t have any evidence will make any difference in the next life. But family will.

Unity and Unselfishness in Marriage

Elder Holland

We’re going to move into a discussion about family, about children and bearing them and rearing them and loving them and helping them be all that they need to be, but before we do, what about the personal things of marriage?

How do we work on marriage so it provides the environment that we will eventually want children to be born into and raised in?

Sister Lant

You ask how we get to the point where we’re ready to have a family and to bring children into the world. There has to be that spiritual foundation, that unity of goals and beliefs between a husband and wife about what they want to have in their home and in their family to make it successful.

Sister Beck

One of the simplest instructions on how to do this, I think, comes in Genesis, chapter 2, where the Lord says that a man will leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and they two shall be one (see Genesis 2:24). That’s three assignments that a couple has right at the beginning: they leave where they were, they cleave together, and they become one. And if they work on those three principles, then they start to develop that relationship with the Lord.

Elder Oaks

I like to tell a young couple who are being married that they, in the marriage relationship, ought to look first to one another, as they do across the altar during their marriage—not first to their parents, not first to their siblings, not first to their friends, but in solving all of their problems, they should look first to one another, because the unity between them under the presiding, loving authority of a Heavenly Father in that triangle you spoke of earlier is what will get them over the inevitable problems of marriage.

Sister Tanner

I like to think again about this beginning story, this very first love story of Adam and Eve. Adam was created, and the Lord gave him everything, this beautiful world. He created flowers and beasts and this wonderful garden to be in, but he couldn’t progress. Man could not progress until he had a help meet for him, a person who was suited for him in every way, in emotional ways, in spiritual ways, in physical ways.

And I think that tells us about the kind of companionship a good marriage should have, [p.13] that we need to be suited for one another. We need to think about what it is we can do to help that companionship progress. We have basic, innate qualities and missions in our marriage, but we also need to get outside of ourselves and be unselfish in that companionship.

Elder Holland

I’ve heard President Hinckley say that selfishness may be the single biggest challenge in a marriage.[2] Any counsel for the Church about how to keep working on this and say, “How has her day been?” rather than just “How has mine been?”

Sister Lant

You know, there’s so much talk in today’s world about “are my needs being met?” You hear that so much.

Elder Holland

Yes, needs is a very big word.

Sister Lant

Yes, “my needs aren’t being met.” And I think if we could just get to the point where we are thinking about someone else’s needs, our needs are met. That’s the best way to get our needs met, if we are looking to take care of somebody else.

Sister Tanner

I grew up in a home where there was a very good marriage, but I remember my mother saying over and over to me, “This is work; to have a good marriage is hard work.” She wasn’t saying that they didn’t have a good marriage, but she meant that you never let a day go by without thinking about blessing the partner in your marriage and working on this and thinking about his or her needs.

Choosing a Spouse

Sister Beck

Oftentimes we hear young adults saying, “I’m looking for my soul mate.” And they put off being married because they think there’s one perfect match and a soul mate who then will be their best friend forever. What really should they be looking for if they’re interested in seeking after the Lord’s blessings and forming an eternal family? How do they do that?

Elder Oaks

I’m always doubtful when I hear that someone’s waiting for the person that was predestined for them in heaven. There may be such cases. But I think most of us are looking for someone we love, whom we can stand together with and go forward with, who has same ideals and the same principles to make an eternal family. I think the idea that you’re waiting until something hits you on the head as if to say “this is it” just postpones marriage and sometimes prevents it altogether.

Elder Holland

I think we’ve all heard comments such as “Well, I need to get through school before I get married” or “I need to get a job” or “I need a little money in the bank” or “We’re going to need a car.” We start to hear, increasingly in society, those kinds of stipulations. We want all of this in place.

I have loved a very homely little definition of love that James Thurber gave many, many years ago. He said, “Love is what you go through together.”[3]

To you single adults out there—you shouldn’t miss the ties that bind and the experiences that link us together in our youth and in our hardship and in our sacrifice as well as in senior years when maybe you’ve got a little more money.

Elder Oaks

Remember there’s a Heavenly Father there, and when we do what He has asked us to do, He will bless us. Let’s not deny Him the opportunity to fulfill His promises by taking it all upon us as if we had to do it all by ourselves.

Sister Lant

At the same time, we want to make sure that we don’t encourage the young people to settle for substandard—and I’m talking about standards of the Church. They should not settle by marrying someone who will not stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them in the gospel and serving the Lord.

Don’t Live in Fear

Sister Tanner

I think being married, having families, being faithful, sacrificing for the gospel is all joyful. It really brings us true joy in our lives. And I think we need to emphasize that. This is a great blessing to us.

[p.14] Elder Holland

With all that’s happening around us, internationally and otherwise, I think there’s a lot of fear. I hear a lot of fear among young single adults and teenagers wondering whether there’s going to be a future. “Will I live long enough to have a marriage?”

Listen, it’s always been tough. There has never been a time in the history of the world when there weren’t problems, when there weren’t things to be fearful about. That’s why we have the gospel. We can’t live in fear—not in this Church—that somehow things aren’t going to work out or that there’s too much that’s ominous out there that’s going to strike. That can be personal fear or collective fear for civilization. We just need to live the gospel and summon our faith and get answers to our prayers and go forward. And that’s the way it’s always been done.

Elder Oaks

If I can paraphrase a scripture, “Perfect love [of the Lord] casteth out fear” (1 John 4:18; see also Moroni 8:16).

Equal Partners

Elder Oaks

Let me ask a question that relates to this. I’ve heard some young people contemplating marriage and in their courtship say, “If we could just make a list of the things you’ll do and the things that I’ll do, then under the terms of that list and this compact, we’ll have a happy marriage.” How about that?

Sister Beck

It’s not a list. The list changes. It ebbs and flows every day.

Sister Tanner

There’s a wonderful quote from John Milton, an author, in Paradise Lost. Adam is talking about Eve, and he praises her and says, “Those thousand decencies that daily flow from all her words and actions, mixt with Love.”[4] I think about that a lot. If we could have companionships that were like that, where we think over and over and over about what we can do—

Sister Lant

To help. You know there has to be a division of labor to some extent in a marriage, because you can’t do it all by yourself. But it has occurred to me—well, it’s evident—that the division of labor for young couples today is different than it was when I was first married. I watch the young couples in my family—my children and their spouses—and the way they do things in their family. It’s different than we did. They still get the job done. They work together in a different way. And in many ways it’s better than the way we did it. The point is, though, that it’s individual. Each couple has to work out how they will do things.

Elder Holland

You’re taking me back to the proclamation, which speaks of being equal partners and that we don’t just say, “You’re going to be the only nurturer, and I’m going to be the only one that’s concerned about the money and whatever.” There will be ebbing and flowing. There’s a balance and components, but we’ve got to be in this together. We’ve got to share in this.

It seems to me that’s exactly what the proclamation said.

Another line from the proclamation is, “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” That says to me, “I’d better address my flaws before I spend a lot of time worrying about everybody else’s flaws in the family.”

Elder Oaks

I think that’s simply a manifestation of what Jesus taught when He said don’t try to cast the mote out of another’s eye until you’ve checked the beam in your own (see Matthew 7:3–5; Luke 6:41–42; 3 Nephi 14:3–5).

Latter-day Saint Culture

Sister Beck

I can think of an example of some friends of mine who were converts to the Church, and in their culture, in their family, there was not this unity and Christlike example. It wasn’t part of their heritage. But they had joined the Church and embraced the teachings of the Savior, and they said when they were married, “What will the culture of our family be like? What culture will we have?” And they determined very carefully, “We will have a Latter-day Saint culture.” They studied the scriptures; they studied the doctrines, asking, “What should our family look like [p.15] in order to conform to what we know to be true?” And they built their home on those Christlike principles that you mentioned. What did the Savior teach? How do we treat each other? Good manners, kindness, respect.

And now over many years, you’ve seen that family emerge. They don’t have the culture of their country. They have a gospel culture in their home.

Elder Oaks

And that is a far better foundation for a marriage—a Latter-day Saint culture—than a set of job lists.

Sister Lant

We have told our children through the years as they get married that it’s not about who’s right; it’s about what’s right. Each of them brings traditions from the families that they come from, and you would hope that as they bring those together, they would look at what’s right—looking at the gospel principles to determine that—and then they are much better than either of their families were. Their family will be stronger; it will be better.

Bearing Children in Faith

Elder Holland

Sister Tanner, you mentioned Adam and Eve. I have been so grateful that we have the second chapter of 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon, which tells us more about the decision Adam and Eve made than anyone else in the world has ever been able to know.

And as I read 2 Nephi 2, it is crystal clear there would not have been children born to Adam and Eve in the garden (see verse 23). I think most of the world does not know that. With us it’s a very fundamental doctrinal point, again underscoring the idea of the eternal plan, the centrality of the family, the point all of you have made about the plan.

Sister Tanner

I feel that we are so blessed in the Church to have the proclamation on the family. I think we can look to this as almost scriptural because it comes to us from the living prophets and apostles. And it does state there that the commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth as husband and wife remains in force.

I remember when I was a young single adult and in my early married years that I heard that preached over the pulpit by apostles and prophets, and I was grateful for that continued counsel. I remember hearing them preach that we were to get married, to have children, and to get an education, sort of all simultaneously, as impossible as it sounds. And I think that maybe it does seem sort of impossible and that we have people who question and wonder about that.

As I’ve thought about that commandment remaining in force, I really believe that it’s correct, and I believe that it requires of us great faith and great courage and often great sacrifice. I think it requires us to be in tune with the Lord to receive personal revelation, and I think it requires a pure heart so that we are not judgmental of other people who are exercising their faith and having their own personal revelation in regard to that commandment.

Elder Oaks

I think what Sister Tanner has just said is true and immensely important. Thank you for that statement. We’re in danger today, it seems to me, of our members of the Church looking [p.16] to worldly priorities in their decisions about childbearing. Instead of making those decisions in faith on the Lord’s promises and in reliance upon what we know of the great plan of happiness and the purpose of life, they look to other sources—television or prominent ideological gurus in the world today or even the pressure of their neighbors—to make decisions that are fundamental and eternal and need to be made prayerfully before the Lord.

Sister Beck

I think it is an issue of faith. We know of many places around the world where there are housing shortages. How do you find even a place to live as a new married couple, let alone bear children, when you can’t find a place to live? I think that this is a matter of faith. We don’t have children because we have money, because we have means. We have children with faith.

That feeling and attitude of seeking for the Lord’s blessings under the plan, I believe, will create miracles in the lives of people. If you’re in a place where there’s a housing shortage, the way will be opened up. Just as paying tithing is a matter of faith, so is having children a matter of faith. You don’t pay tithing with money; you don’t have children with money.

Elder Oaks

We can add to that that we are teaching general principles because we are General Authorities and general officers.

Sister Tanner

I love the phrase “the way will be opened up if we walk by faith.” And I think that’s because of a personal experience. When we were first married, my husband’s father gave him a blessing, and he said, “Follow the principles of the gospel—do what you know that you should in this marriage and walk by faith—and the way will be opened up, ways that are unforeseen to you right now.”

I think walking by faith doesn’t mean to walk recklessly. We need to be very wise in our decisions and therefore work very hard and be willing to sacrifice and maybe go without. But that was a blessing in our lives that ways unforeseen to us were opened up. And I believe that’s a true principle for anyone who walks by faith.

Sister Lant

You talked about being willing to do the work that it takes. Having children is a lot of work. And we have to not be afraid of that, because it’s that very element of working hard and being willing to do whatever it takes that makes us who we are. It’s the sacrifice that makes us who we are. I want to bear my testimony of the joy that comes from having families, from having children, because there’s not only the commandment from the Lord to do it, but there are great promised blessings.

Elder Oaks

And let us be mindful of the fact that in many parts of the world where people are listening to this broadcast, the idea of having children has been rejected. Or the thought is that if you have one child that’s enough and a person is just foolish or unpatriotic to have more than one child. There are plenty of ideas out there in the world that work against the gospel plan. And as father Lehi said, “[There] must needs be an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). We can’t expect to be applauded every time we do something that we know is right. But God will bless you.

The Desires of the Heart

Sister Beck

I know of many couples who desire to have children and aren’t given that blessing. Their challenge is the challenge of not having children, and we need to be listening and supportive and encouraging toward them. And I also believe that the desire to have children in the single sisters and in these couples probably won’t go away if they’re righteous, because that is a God-given desire. It speaks to their very natures and the training they received in the heavens. So that longing will not go away. But the Lord will bless them.

Elder Oaks

And that longing will weigh in the final judgment. One of the most comforting passages in all of scripture for me is in the 137th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verse 9, where we’re told that the Lord will judge us according to our works and according to the desires of our hearts.
[p.17]
The Family Comes First

Elder Holland

Let’s talk about the rearing of the children, what comes after we have fulfilled the commandment and invitation to bear children and to continue their eternal progress by giving them that mortal opportunity. Those are not unrelated, because it seems to me that the Lord’s commandment to us is not simply to bear children, it is to bear them with the idea that we will save them.

Elder Oaks

While we’re talking about this, what does it mean that the family comes first? We say that, and we believe it, but what does it mean that the family comes first?

I want to use your eyeglasses to use a metaphor from Neal Maxwell. He suggested on another subject that we write something on the inside of our glasses so that whenever we looked at any subject, we see that message. And we might say that when you put your spectacles on to look at decisions about how the family will use its time or decisions about how the ward will schedule its activities, we have written inside of our eyeglasses, “The family comes first.”

Elder Holland

I love—we all love—the line from Ecclesiastes, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). We’ve only got so much time, but we all have the same amount. So I think if we work on priorities, we can make family first. I think we can do a better job.

Elder Oaks

And when we speak of family first, we have to think of ideas like family prayer and family home evening and family scripture study and making time and seeing that these things happen which have eternal consequences in the spiritual growth of our children. That’s a manifestation of “family comes first.”
[p.18]
Family Patterns

Elder Holland

I introduced the word pattern in those brief remarks as we started. Some of these things that we almost take for granted should not be taken for granted, like family scripture study, like family prayer, like family home evening—we tend to dash those off as if they were understood by everybody, but those ought to become part of a family pattern.

Sister Tanner

One hopeful thing about patterns is that even though we sense our imperfections in trying to establish these patterns, it’s quite remarkable and fulfilling for us as we see our children then carry on those patterns, even though we didn’t feel like we were totally perfect at it.

Elder Holland

Some of it got through.

Sister Tanner

On a personal note, my husband said at his father’s funeral that he had never learned anything at church that he had not already learned in his own home. I thought that was such a tribute to his parents—parents of a large family. He talks of how they would sometimes gather on the parents’ bed, and the father would pull down an old blind in the bedroom and draw on it the chart of the plan of salvation. He said, “We learned the plan of salvation sitting together on our father’s and mother’s bed. We didn’t really need some of the activities that the world promotes these days, because we’d go out in the back field and play ‘No Bears Are Out Tonight’ or other games together as a family.” So there were a lot of good things that this family did to utilize their family time to pull together, to teach, and to create memories.

Elder Oaks

I recall a rule we had in our family—every family has rules—that we would never have the television on when we were eating a meal, because we thought this time of gathering was a time for conversation: “What did you do today?” “What’s troubling you?” “How can we help?” That doesn’t take place if the news, however important, is blaring into the family mealtime. We couldn’t afford fast food, so we didn’t have any rules to resist that. But we had a rule of no television and much conversation, and we would all be home for dinner. We couldn’t all do it for breakfast—our circumstances were such—but we had one meal where we sat down together. That was very good for our family.

Sister Tanner

We had similar experiences. You’ve talked about conversation and binding yourselves together with each other in that conversation. Not only is it binding and informative, it’s fun. You can laugh together, and you can share tender experiences. We typically had our family prayer at breakfast time and at dinnertime, because we were together for those two meals.

But we kind of laughed that our family prayer often introduced the topics of conversation for the mealtime. Sometimes my husband would pray for a grandmother who would be having an operation, and the children weren’t aware of that. Or he’d pray for someone in the world who was suffering from an earthquake, and they hadn’t been aware of that. And then, as the meal unfolded, we had these wonderful binding topics to talk about.

Sister Beck

I was raised in a big family. My parents had a lot of children. And that means there were a lot of opinions and a lot of work to care for this family. [p.19] But they used the tool of family home evening to really teach us. Every week we sang “Love at Home.” That was the opening hymn. And I remember as a teenager thinking it was really tiresome to sing that hymn every week.

Elder Oaks

Sometimes that hymn is sung through clenched teeth.

Elder Holland

And by assignment.

Sister Lant

Sometimes it’s the mother’s clenched teeth.

Sister Beck

It was more a belief than a practice. But every week, Dad would say, “Now we’ll sing our opening hymn, ‘Love at Home.’ ” And when I was about 14 or 15, in that age when you question everything, I asked my father, “Why do we have to sing this hymn every week? There are a lot of good hymns in the hymnbook we could sing.”

And he looked at me very sternly, and he said, “When you have learned lesson 1, I will teach you lesson 2.” And I don’t know what lesson 2 was; we didn’t ever get there, but I have to say that after the passage of many years, I look at my family, and we do love one another. We did, somehow, over the years, learn to love each other because that was lesson 1 my parents wanted to teach. They didn’t try to cover everything. They knew if they started with that, it would work.

I had a wonderful young mother approach me. She had four children under the age of six, and she said, “We are being faithful in trying to have our family scripture study every morning, but it’s just a disaster. Somebody’s always crying; they don’t pay attention.” And I said, “How long are you trying to do this?” She said, “Well, we set a goal to do 10 minutes every day.” And I said, “Well, with the audience you have, you’re probably about 8 minutes too long.” She had the pattern down, and she needed to adapt a little bit to the age of her audience. Maybe start with a picture of Adam and Eve and talk about the picture and not try to help a two-year-old read the scriptures. But she was faithful, and I loved her for that.

Not Judging Others

Sister Lant

Elder Holland, I wanted to just say a word about judging other people. We look at other people, and things are not always as they seem. We think it’s one way, but it isn’t always that way.

We had a large family, and my husband was the bishop when all the children were still very young. I would work all day Saturday and all morning Sunday to get them to church, and I had to get them there early or we just didn’t even get there. We would line the whole bench—the whole center bench was filled with our children on the second row back—and we would be there before the meeting started.

I remember one day a sister came up behind me and leaned over and said, “Sister Lant, if my kids were as good as yours and if it was as easy for me as it is for you, I would have a large family too.”

Well, I started to cry, and I cried clear through the whole meeting. And my husband kept looking at me like “What is wrong? What is wrong?” I was a mess. I completely had a come-apart. And it was because it wasn’t easy.

We tend to judge one another. We judge harshly. Or we judge unfairly as we look at others—

Elder Holland

Unkindly.

Sister Lant

—unkindly. And we don’t really know what one another’s situations are. We just have to love each other.

Elder Holland

And cling to the doctrine, just cling to these ideals—we’re going to climb this mountain the best way we know [p.20] how, and that will sometimes be a little different for each family.

Working Together

Elder Oaks

There’s another aspect of that, and that is to challenge fathers to take the leadership. The family proclamation asks them to lead out. Fathers should call their families around them for family prayer. Fathers should make sure that family home evenings are held. Sometimes that’s best done by delegating to a mother the planning; she may be a lot better at it than the father. But the Lord holds the father responsible. That’s why we read in the family proclamation that “fathers are to preside.”

Fathers, rise up and perform your role.

Elder Holland

And that fits with our earlier comment too, that many forces in the world would take people out of the home. This is yet another example of our trying to bring people into the home, including and especially, we say again, fathers.

Sister Lant

The fathers preside, and the fathers call their families around them. But mothers have to facilitate that. They have to enable their families to gather like that and pave the way for it to be a good experience.

Sister Beck

When you’re together, when you know—right back to our beginning principle—the family is ordained of God and we’re in this together, then you of course plan together and see that it happens. You help it happen together.

Sister Lant

And children have to be willing. Teenagers have to be willing to respond.

Sister Beck

Well, sometimes they’re willing.

Elder Oaks

No small task.

Sister Lant

Do it anyway. Do it anyway.

The principles that we’ve talked about, all of these principles about what the family should be based on, all point us to the temple. I think that the temple is such a blessing in our lives, whether we have a family that has already gone to the temple, or whether we’re hoping for a family that will enter the temple. All of these principles of truth and these patterns of family life culminate in the blessings of the temple because that’s where we become eternal families.

Elder Ballard has said to us that “clearly, those . . . entrusted with precious children have been given a sacred, noble stewardship, for we are the ones that God has appointed to encircle today’s children with love and with the fire of faith and an understanding of who they are.”[5] And that says it all for what we have to do as parents.

Extended Families

Elder Holland

Why don’t we just say a word about others who can help “families”—grandparents, aunts, uncles, someone who for a time does not have a complete family. We acknowledged in the introduction that not everybody is going to meet this profile, but we can all be committed to the ideal; we can all be committed to the doctrine. Any comments about how families, broadly defined, pitch in and take an interest?

Sister Lant

I would to hate to think as a mother that I had no help from anyone else. I am grateful for the good people who have had influence on my children. And there are many of them, from teachers, to neighbors, to friends, to extended relatives. There are many ways that people help my children. And I am grateful for that. It’s an added witness to the things that we’re trying to teach them. And sometimes you get to a point with one of your children where you cannot have the influence on them you would like to have, but someone else can.

I’ve had some of my children live in foreign countries. My youngest daughter has been living in Spain with her husband, and she had her first baby over in Spain. Of course she was a long distance from Grandma, and I was concerned about this and concerned about her, but these wonderful Saints there were her family. They were there [p.21] for her, and they helped her, and they gathered around her and loved her and loved that baby. How grateful I was for them and for their caring and for their influence in her life.

Elder Oaks

Having been raised in a single-parent household after my father died shortly before my eighth birthday, I know firsthand what the influence of grandparents is, what the influence of aunts and uncles and cousins is. I have rejoiced to see the strength of extended families as I’ve traveled outside the United States.

I think in many parts of the world the structure of the extended family is stronger than it has become in North America. I would just encourage my fellow members in North America to make sure they’re reaching out, strengthening that extended family, and know that there are places in the world where that situation is functioning better than it is in North America.

Ward Family

Sister Beck

There’s also the ward family. As we’ve mentioned, in every ward you’re going to have a spectrum of experience and challenges. Some of those women will be able to have children; some will be married; some will be widowed; some won’t. In reality there are a few women who will be able to have children and have a lot of them. And in that ward family we should rally around and support them. It’s a challenge to have a large family. I would certainly hope that no member of the Church would approach another sister in the ward and say, “You’re crazy for having another child,” but rather celebrate her ability and her desire to have them and say, “I’m supporting you. Let me do all I can to encourage and help you in that.”

Elder Oaks

I’m glad you mentioned that because we do get reports that some Latter-day Saints criticize other Latter-day Saints for having children. I remember early in our marriage when my wife June was pregnant with our fifth child, a very active sister in our ward said to her, “What are you trying to do, populate the world all by yourself?” And I was proud of June when she came right back with a response: “I can’t think of anyone better to do it.”

Elder Holland

And we all acknowledge—Sister Tanner touched on it—that there are issues of health, there are issues that are not materialistic. We’re not talking about money or political correctness or deference to society, we’re talking about legitimate gospel-oriented things that we watch and measure. That is all the more reason not to judge. We teach, we encourage, we rally, we cheer; within the context of the gospel we encourage people to seek that destiny that is theirs.

Never Give Up

Sister Tanner

I think on the subject of rearing children that we will probably have people in our audience who are going to start feeling bad about themselves. I think the discrepancy between the ideal and the reality of everyday life sometimes seems very large to us as mothers and fathers. But I believe that being a mother and father is an eternal role, an eternal calling, if you will, and that with that calling, as with any calling, we are blessed with a mantel. We need that mantel, and we need that spirit with us as we rear our children. In fact, I think like Elisha, we need a double portion of that spirit as we rear our children. I believe that we’re blessed with that. These are Heavenly Father’s children, not just ours. They are His spirit children, and He will bless us with a double portion of that spirit.

Elder Oaks

And some are simply more difficult than others. There’s no such thing as treating all children equally in the parental attention or some of the basic decisions required. We might be equal in the division of property as we choose or don’t choose, but we sure can’t be equal in the division of time because the needs are different.

Sister Beck

I saw an example of the time division in my own home growing up. My oldest sister, the oldest of 10, lost her hearing when she was age two. There was no way for my mother to say, “I will give 10 minutes to this child and 10 minutes to the next one.” There is no doubt that daughter took the lion’s share of the time for quite a long time in the family.

[p.22] I also think that the help and the power for a sealed eternal family comes from the temple. Much like a stake president is given keys and power and authority, and a bishop has keys and authority to run his ward and officiate there, parents in the temple are given that power to receive answers, to receive revelation to resolve what they need to resolve.

Elder Oaks

Part of that vision is to realize that God has given these, His children, the power of choice. And the time comes in their maturity when they have to make choices and be accountable for them.

It’s always so unfortunate when parents carry a burden of guilt throughout their adult lives for every decision their children have made. We never, never, never give up. And we’re responsible to teach correct principles and do all we can with love and persuasion and so on. All of these are priesthood principles for the exercise of family as well as Church authority. But in the last analysis, I say to my fellow adult parents and grandparents, keep praying, keep trying, but set down that large burden of guilt because people given the power of choice are going to make wrong choices. Sometimes the only way people can learn is to make a choice and see the consequence of it, and then we rely on the incredible power of Atonement of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And there are hardly any sins we can commit in mortality that can’t, on proper principles, be forgiven through the power of the Atonement of our Lord.

Creating a Nurturing Climate

Sister Lant

Have we said enough about really loving one another? We’ve used a lot of words about how we should teach our children and the things that we need to do in our homes, but I think we simply have to love one another. I’ve heard the statement that there’s nothing greater a father can do for his children than to love their mother. And it’s the same for each member of the family—to really look for ways to show and say and express that love.

Elder Holland

It seems to be so very much in the Church that we’re trying to get people in the home, including Father. There’s an invitation to Father and Mother to both be in the home as much as possible.

My wife’s father passed away not long ago, and she has grieved the way a daughter grieves over the loss of a father. I was comforting her, and she said, “But he loved me so much. He sang to me. He put me to bed. He tucked me in.” She said, “I can hardly remember a night that he did not tuck me in bed and sing to me.” I’m making a point about dads, fathers, being in the home. And I pay tribute to my boys, who do better than I ever did about changing diapers and taking the children out during church.

Sister Lant

I think there’s a great influence in the world that is trying to pull us not [p.23] only out of the home, but away from those things that really matter. As I look at what gets us off track in families, sometimes it’s having too much, and sometimes it’s having too little. But it all has to do with material things. I think we really need to take a careful look at our lives and priorities—Are we too busy? Are we trying to do too much?—and look at the things that really are going to make a difference in the lives of our children and make sure that it’s the spiritual things that we’re not excluding.

Sister Beck

I don’t think it takes a lot of extra activity or time to follow the Lord’s plan. It can be done in simple ways. I think one of the most important concepts for parents to grasp about a home is to create a climate. Often we say it’s tasks or we measure things by achievements or things or lists. But we can think of a climate where something can grow. The word nurture means to help something grow. Something can’t grow where it’s too dry or too cold or the ground is too hard. The job of parents in rearing children is to keep that climate where things can grow with the Spirit, where there’s faith and hope and charity.

I saw a wonderful mother in Mexico in a very humble home. She had a little courtyard outside her front door, and she had painted a garden on the wall. She didn’t have any ground to grow a garden in. She had a wall, so she painted a garden, with flowers and trees and a fountain. She wanted to create a climate for growth for her family. What a beautiful thought she had to make a place to give her family that vision.

Elder Oaks

My mother used to love quoting the words of Pearl Buck, who said, “I love my children with all my heart, but I can’t love them with all my time.”[6] And so she was very careful in the limited time that she had available after being the breadwinner for the family. She was very careful with what we did in the scarce time that we were privileged to be together. She liked us to work on projects together. I look back on that with greater affection than I experienced at the time. It seemed like mother was always organizing us to do some project to clear out the garage. But I look back on it, and I realize that she was pursuing a very important parenting function in getting the children to work together and with their parents.

It’s harder and harder to do that in some urban societies that many live in. People in underdeveloped parts of the world where husband and wife and children work together in the rice fields don’t have that same kind of problem. But the principle works throughout, and it’s very, very important for us.

Principles of Homemaking

Sister Lant

You speak of principles. I think that’s what we really have to turn to in all of this discussion because families and family situations are different all over the world. But the principles of work and of love and of unselfishness and of forgiveness and of service, those basic principles of the gospel is where we have to go to know how to rear our children, to know how to build our relationships.

Elder Oaks

I think the family proclamation gives us some principles that we need to refer to:

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”—It doesn’t say exclusively.—“In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

There may be a circumstance where the mother needs to be the breadwinner. I was raised in such a home. The health of the father may prevent him from performing a function that is identified as his responsibility. But under the principle of equal partners solving the problems, these can be worked out individually with the inspiration of heaven.

Sister Tanner

I think as we talk about making a home, we need certain principles, we need certain skills, and the lack of homemaking skills—and I don’t just mean baking bread—has created, I think, an emotional homelessness [p.24] that has some of the very same byproducts as street homelessness. People who do not have a place to go that has the Spirit, that has the emotional stability, that has the principles that we’ve been talking about, have a lot of the same problems of despair, of turning to drugs or immorality, that street homeless people have. And we have an opportunity, mothers and fathers working together, to create an environment, to be homemakers, to create an environment that will make a home. Home is not just a place; it’s a feeling, and it’s a spirit.

Elder Oaks

I’m glad you speak of homemaking because homemaking is a word of disparagement in the eyes of some, and it should not be. But we may need to define it. Homemaking is not just baking bread or cleaning a house. Homemaking is to make the environment necessary to nurture our children toward eternal life, which is our responsibility as parents. And that homemaking is as much for fathers as it is for mothers.

Sister Lant

And that home, then, needs to be the safe place, the place where all the members of the family can come and know that they’re loved and that they are safe from the things of the world and that they’re OK.

Elder Oaks

On the subject of delegation, there are probably a lot of housekeeping tasks that can be delegated, but there aren’t any homemaking tasks that can be delegated. We don’t delegate conducting a family home evening. We’re not going to delegate family prayer. We’re not going to delegate the love of a mother and a father for the children or that individual time that’s so essential for growth. Let’s make a distinction between housekeeping and homemaking.

Sister Lant

We can’t delegate those responsibilities, but we can share them.

Elder Oaks

Yes, we can.

Elder Holland

What struck me when Elder Oaks said you can’t delegate is you can’t delegate it into the community, you can’t delegate it to the chamber of commerce—

Elder Oaks

Even to the Church.

Elder Holland

Or to the Church. That’s my point. Let’s talk about that. Let’s lead into the idea of how the Church is to help the family and bless the family. There are some things that simply cannot and should not, probably, be done by the Church or anyone else when it really is a family matter.

Scheduling Activities

Elder Holland

What counsel do we have collectively for Church leaders to help them strike the balance helping families and scheduling and calendaring? Time is an issue out there in the wards and stakes of the Church.

Elder Oaks, how do we look at calendaring?

Elder Oaks

Let me speak to bishops and stake presidents, who preside over ward councils and stake councils. Let’s have parental time on agendas as we make up schedules, not just fitting every conceivable meeting and activity into the Church calendar without regard to what that does to families.

Elder Holland

We want to bless individuals, but we’ve got to protect the family as a unit.

Sister Beck

Years ago there was a little rule I made for myself that I think is pretty applicable to everyone. A good reason to have a ward activity or a stake activity is because we need it and it will strengthen our families and individuals. A bad reason to have an activity is because it’s a tradition or there’s a certain holiday we have to celebrate. When we talk about gospel patterns, we know the needs. Let’s plan the activities around those needs, and if something was a wonderful activity last year, it doesn’t mean we need to build it into a tradition.

Elder Oaks

And we can say that it’s best when Church schedules are considerate of family circumstances, so that the total burden on families on weeknights and weekends is not excessive and doesn’t just sweep away the possible times for a family to be together.

[p.25] We need to add to that the caution that if we make more family time available, parents have to take more responsibility in making sure that it doesn’t just increase sports, television viewing, individual athletic activities, or participation in many, very good community activities for children. We are not trying to hobble ourselves in competing with other activities. We are trying to discipline the use of Church meetings and Church activities in favor of the family. And the family has got to fill that vacuum instead of inviting others in to fill it.

Sister Lant

You know, that puts responsibility back on the family, doesn’t it?

Elder Oaks

It does.

Ward and Family Councils

Sister Beck

When a ward council meets together or a presidency meets together, oftentimes they discuss, “How can we get people to support us in our organization?” or “We had a lot of people there; we had a lot of support.” And that’s really backward. When a ward council meets or a presidency meets, if they would begin by saying, “How can we support the family?” Then what we do is an outgrowth of things that will support the family and not the other way around; I think we could all turn that lens backward.

Elder Oaks

And that’s a great subject for ward councils, where a group like we have with us here today gets together and each has their own perspective. The bishop is the decision maker, but he hears from all of the groups and he can try to set the level of activity and adjust the schedules to deal with the principles we’ve talked about.

Elder Holland

I’d like to think that it might be valuable right in the middle of this discussion to pause and say to the Church audience that, although we didn’t necessarily set out to do it, we are modeling here what we would like to happen among men and women in the Church.

Elder Oaks

In every culture.

Elder Holland

In every culture. This is the way that ward councils ought to talk. I’d like to think that this is the way that husbands and wives would talk. We’re respectful; we’re interested; people have ideas; we’re sharing. And in some of the cultures—this is a worldwide broadcast—this will run counter to tradition and history and the style of some people. But gospel culture always has to prevail. And if it hasn’t been the local habit or the local tradition to listen to the sisters or to have the marvelous respect these sisters have shown to priesthood—all of this, we hope, will convey to the Church the need to hear each other, love each other, talk together, get the best ideas, pray for guidance, and have better families and a better Church as a result. That shouldn’t be the least of the issues conveyed in our broadcast here tonight.

Matching Needs and Resources

Elder Oaks

Elder L. Tom Perry gave us a marvelous principle in the worldwide leadership training meeting of January 2003. I want to read a few of the words that he gave, just by way of reemphasizing them. They’re more important [p.26] today than they were five years ago when he first stated them. He said:

“The secret in building a branch or a district, a ward or a stake is to know your members, their abilities, and their needs, and build your program based on the leadership available and the needs of your members. . . . In all you do, be aware that bigger is not necessarily better. Grow only as fast as the size and maturity of your unit permit. Preserve the strength of your members.”[7]

It’s a liberating principle.

Sister Lant

It is. And I think how that comes down, then, to an auxiliary leader, a Primary leader in a ward. Ofttimes you call that Primary leader, and she looks at the Primary program, and she thinks, “OK, how am I going to do all of these things?” And she works at doing those things, and then she looks for what else she can do.

We’ve got to put the family focus on all of the work that we’re called to do, because we don’t have to do more. Sometimes we can take that program, look at the needs of our members, and do less.

Elder Holland

It reminded me that Elder Scott said sometimes to magnify your calling is to do less, not more.[8] You’ve brought more focus to it, you’ve exercised better judgment. You’ve increased the quality, but the sheer mass may be smaller, not greater. That’s an equally liberating thought, I think—not to shirk, not to be a slacker, but to really, seriously look at the big picture, including the big picture of the family, and maybe sometimes do less.

Sister Lant

And so many times these auxiliary leaders are so capable, they can do so much, that we get carried away. We have to watch ourselves not to do that, to focus on the people not the program.

Wisdom and Good Judgment

Sister Tanner

I appreciate priesthood leaders who look at family situations before they make calls. I know calls are inspired, but they also require wisdom and judgment on the part of priesthood leaders.

Elder Oaks

Units that are short on workers have a limited number of active members, and they should be very careful not to just fill up the callings by using the same 10 people in the ward and giving them all four or five different callings. That’s not the way to have a strong family. It’s not the way to have a strong ward. An inspired priesthood leader ought to start off with a proposition that busy parents ought not to have multiple callings.

The program may have to be pared back somewhat to meet the requirements of the principle Elder Perry outlined in that worldwide leadership training broadcast of January 2003.

Elder Holland

And we’ll all acknowledge—everyone at this table can acknowledge—that sacrifice is still one of those principles in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We sacrifice for each other across family ties. You take that very far, and you’re out to the branch and the ward and the stake. We’ve all been called to do things that stretched us and pushed us, and we had to make some judgments about “What do we do to protect our family?” and “What do we do to protect the Church?” “How do we make sure that the Church flourishes as well as the family?”

We’ve got to have the wisdom and the judgment to be able to kind of do it all. It’s just that we can’t do it all at once, and we sometimes don’t need to do all the things we’ve done. But the essential things I believe we’ll be blessed to do.

Sister Beck

I remember the wonderful teaching of Elder Ballard when he taught us to be wise. “O be wise,” he said, “in choosing these things.”[9] The teaching of sacrifice is important. Some of the beginning stirrings of my testimony, if I go back to when I first started to say, “This is a wonderful church,” were watching my parents serve and struggle in their callings and learn. That taught me some things. And I’ve been stretched and drawn to the Lord through my service. I would never want to say that it’s either family or service. It has to be a marriage and a unity of what we commit to the Lord to help build His kingdom and what we’ve committed to build a family. They go together. It’s not one or the other.
[p.27]
The Joy of the Sabbath

Elder Holland

Could I make a plea to our group and to the larger Church that we do everything possible to reclaim the joy of the Sabbath. I don’t know that we could do more to enhance family unity in the Church than to enjoy Sunday fully. And we do enjoy it. I enjoy it. As busy as I am, I live for Sunday. But the early scriptural declarations, I’m thinking particularly clear back into the Old Testament, up to and including our own Doctrine and Covenants pronouncements, have been about the joy of the Sabbath, the joy of worship, and the delight of the Sabbath. Surely we can do better at having a Sabbath together. We’re going to have to lighten up, in some cases, on these multiple assignments in order that an equally important aspect of gospel living can happen in the home.

Sister Beck

Well, you’re speaking too about the Sabbath day and how to enhance that experience. I think oftentimes the busyness and the tasks we throw into the Sabbath to take care of Church work takes us away from the real reason why we go to church. We go to renew covenants. And if families would prepare for that and focus on that in their Sabbath experiences, start with that, we, I think, would go a long way in blessing our families. We go to partake of the sacrament, and the rest is an add-on to that. That’s not a secondary experience; it’s the primary reason we go.

Sometimes I think in our busyness our children lose that message because of our rush. And that should be the first thing we teach them.

“Come and Dine”

Elder Holland

In the true spirit of homemaking, in the best and highest sense of that word, I hope we can again sit down at a common dinner table as a family. I think almost any sociologist who has no affiliation with the Church at all would say, and they do say, that perhaps nothing is as unifying in the course of a family’s week as to eat together.

Sister Beck

A scriptural example that is one of my favorites, is in the last chapter of the Gospel of John, where the Savior at the Sea of Galilee gathered His disciples. He had a fire there and coals and fish, and He said, “Come and dine.” Now, that describes quite a bit of preparation. A meal had been prepared—a family meal, you could say—and He invited them to come and dine, not just run in and eat, but come and dine. And then the scripture says, “When they had dined,”  He then began to teach them that wonderful teaching about feeding His sheep (see John 21:9–15). There is something about eating together and mellowing out and having that feeling there. What would His teaching have looked like if He hadn’t prepared the place to teach it?

[p.28] He created the setting for that marvelous teaching, and it was a mealtime. And I think that wasn’t accidental.

Clinging to the Doctrine

Elder Oaks

In all that we have discussed, I think it is fundamental for us to avoid taking the world’s models as our guides for parenting and marriage and all of those things that have eternal importance. I’m mindful of the counsel the Apostle Paul gave to the Corinthians. This is recorded in 2 Corinthians, chapter 6. He was speaking to those who had the gospel, and he said, “[Don’t be] unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). He’s telling us that we cannot afford to stand side by side, yoked with the world, when we are trying to make these fundamental eternal decisions.

Elder Holland

And it seems to me that if we’ll cling to the doctrine of the Church—again I keep coming back to our idea that we started this conversation around, the idea of a plan and counsel that our Father in Heaven gave us before we ever came here—if we can cling to the doctrine, we’ll get through, we’ll have answers to our prayers, and we’ll stay founded on true principles.

I’ve often thought, and I’ve said to my own children, that those parents who kept going past Chimney Rock and past Martin’s Cove (and sometimes didn’t get farther than that) and those little graves that are dotted all across the historic landscape of this Church—they didn’t do that for a program, they didn’t do it for a social, they did it because the faith of the gospel of Jesus Christ was in their soul, it was in the marrow of their bones. That’s the only way those mothers could bury that baby in a breadbox and move on and say, “The promised land is out there somewhere. We’re going to make it to the valley.”

Well, that’s because of covenants and doctrine and faith and revelation and spirit. If we can keep that in our families and in the Church, maybe a lot of other things start to take care of themselves. Maybe a lot of other things sort of fall off the wagon. I’m told those handcarts could only take so much. They had to choose what they took. And maybe the 21st century will drive us to decide, “What can we put on this handcart?” It’s the substance of our soul; it’s the stuff right down in the marrow of our bones. We’ll have blessed family and Church if we can cling to the revelations.

Elder Oaks

Elder Holland, I think that is a good note to end on.

Elder Holland

Elder Oaks, Sister Beck, Sister Lant, Sister Tanner, on behalf of this entire Church, thank you. Thank you for your time, your love, your service, your own sacrifice, and the convictions you have in your soul about family life and family love in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you. And brothers and sisters, thanks to all of you.

Notes

1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

2. Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Apr. 2003, 64; or Ensign, May 2003, 59; and Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 94; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 69.

3. See “Thurber,” Life, Mar. 14, 1960, 108.

4. Book 8, lines 601–02.

5. M. Russell Ballard, “Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 60.

6. See “At Home in the World,” Marriage and Family Living, Feb. 1942, 2.

7. “Basic Unit Program,” First Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 2003, 9.

8. See Richard G. Scott, “The Doctrinal Foundation of the Auxiliaries,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 2004, 7.

9. See M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Oct. 2006, 16–19; or Ensign, Nov. 2006, 17–20.

[p.29]
President Thomas S. Monson
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

A Sanctuary from the World

Bringing Heaven into Our Homes

My brothers and sisters, it is in a spirit of humility that I conclude this inspiring meeting. Our thoughts have centered on home and family as we have been reminded that “the home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfill its essential functions.”[1]

As we know, families come in a variety of appearances. Some include father, mother, brothers and sisters, while others could be made up of a single parent and children. Still others might consist of but one person.

Whatever the makeup of our particular family, if we follow the guidelines which have been set before us in this meeting, we will draw closer to the Lord and bring more of heaven into our homes.

When Jesus walked the dusty pathways of towns and villages that we now reverently call the Holy Land and taught His disciples by beautiful Galilee, He often spoke in parables, in language the people understood best. Frequently He referred to home building in relationship to the lives of those who listened.

He declared, “Every … house divided against itself shall not stand” (Matthew 12:25). Later He cautioned, “Behold, mine house is a house of order … and not a house of confusion” (D&C 132:8).

More and more the world is filled with chaos and confusion. Messages surround us which contradict all that we hold dear—enticing us to turn from that which is “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13) and embrace the thinking which often prevails outside the gospel of Jesus Christ. However, when our families are united in purpose, and an atmosphere of peace and love prevails, home becomes a sanctuary from the world.

When we are tired or ill or discouraged, how sweet the comfort of being able to turn homeward. We are blessed to belong and to have a place in the family circle.

At times we may become bored or irritated with home and family and familiar surroundings. Such may seem less than glamorous, with a sense of sameness, and other places may sometimes seem more exciting. But when we have sampled much and have wandered far and have seen how fleeting and sometimes superficial a lot of the world is, our gratitude grows for the privilege of being part of something we can count on—home and family and the loyalty of loved ones. We come to know what it means to be bound together by duty, by respect, by belonging. We learn that nothing can fully take the place of the blessed relationship of family life.

All of us remember the home of our childhood. For most of us, our thoughts do not dwell on whether the house was large or small, the neighborhood fashionable or downtrodden. Rather, we delight in the experiences we shared as a family.

[p.30] Margaret Thatcher, when she was prime minister of Great Britain, expressed this profound philosophy: “The family is the building block of society. It is a nursery, a school, a hospital, a leisure centre, a place of refuge and a place of rest. It encompasses the whole of the society. It fashions our beliefs; it is the preparation for the rest of our life.”[2]

May I offer three guidelines to help ensure that our homes will be havens of happiness.

A Pattern of Prayer

First, let us establish a pattern of prayer.

As a people, aren’t we grateful that family prayer is not an out-of-date practice with us? There is not a more beautiful sight in all this world than to see a family praying together. The Lord directed that we have family prayer when He said, “Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (3 Nephi 18:21).

As we pray with our families each day, we will help to provide the protection we all so desperately need in today’s world.

A Library of Learning

Second, may our homes be a library of learning.

An essential part of our learning library will be good books. Reading is one of the true pleasures of life. In our age of mass culture, when so much that we encounter is abridged, adapted, adulterated, shredded, and boiled down, it is mind-easing and mind-inspiring to sit down privately with a congenial book.

James A. Michener, prominent author, suggests: “A nation becomes what its young people read in their youth. Its ideals are fashioned then, its goals strongly determined.”

The Lord counseled, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118).

Of course, the standard works offer the ultimate library of learning of which I speak. Let us read from them often, both privately and with our families, that we may be enlightened and edified and draw closer to the Lord.

A Legacy of Love

Third, may we enjoy a legacy of love.

Seemingly little lessons of love are observed by children as they silently absorb the examples of their parents. Let us make certain that our examples are worthy of emulation. When our homes carry the legacy of love, we will not receive Jacob’s chastisement as recorded in the Book of Mormon: “Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you” (Jacob 2:35).

Rather, may our families and homes be filled with love: love of each other, love of the gospel, love [p.31] of our fellowman, and love of our Savior. As a result, heaven will be a little closer here on earth.

May we make of our homes sanctuaries to which our family members will ever want to return.

A Yearning for Home

Some of you may remember the story of a very young boy who was abducted from his parents and home and taken to a village situated far away. Under those conditions the small boy grew to young manhood without really being able to remember his parents or home. As he grew, there came into his heart a yearning to return to parents and home.

But where was home to be found? Where were his mother and father to be discovered? Oh, if only he could remember even their names, his task would be less hopeless.

Desperately he sought to recall even a glimpse of his childhood.

One day, like a flash of inspiration, he remembered the sound of a bell which, from the tower atop the village church, pealed its welcome each Sabbath morning. From village to village the young man wandered, ever listening for that familiar bell to chime. Some bells were similar, others far different from the sound he remembered.

At length the weary young man stood one Sunday morning before a church of a typical town. He listened carefully as the bell began to peal. The sound was familiar, unlike any other he had heard, save that bell which pealed in the memory of his early childhood days. Yes, it was the same bell. It’s ring was true. His eyes filled with tears, and his heart rejoiced in gladness. His soul overflowed with gratitude. The young man dropped to his knees, looked upward beyond the bell tower—even toward heaven—and in a prayer of gratitude whispered, “Thanks be to God. I’m home.”

I love the words found in the hymn:

O home belov’d, where’er I wander,
On foreign land or distant sea,
As time rolls by, my heart grows fonder
And yearns more lovingly for thee!
Tho fair be nature’s scenes around me,
And friends are ever kind and true,
Tho joyous mirth and song surround me,
My heart, my soul still yearn for you.[3]

May we ever strive to make of our homes havens of love and peace and happiness, where the Spirit of the Lord would choose to dwell. This is my prayer for all of us, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1. David O. McKay, in Family Home Evening Manual (1965), iii.

2. In Nicholas Wood, “Thatcher Champions the Family,” The Times, May 26, 1988, 24.

3. “O Home Beloved,” Hymns, no. 337.

e-book prepared by Andrew F. Hobbs
Knoxville, TN
September 2008